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Damn. That's about all I can manage to say.
das sad mang
ponders.......... i do like how you covered problems with immortality. but i think it would have been a few bits stronger if Twilight was brought up. twilight is far from a lover, but she is probably all but family. someone she loves dearly.
and in a sense it was love that blinded celestia in the first place. she loves cadance likely. had it been any other Celestia may have taken twilight's owrds into more account. then agian who expects a alicorn to be taken down without someone noticing anyway?
sombra........ shakes head. i always imagined sombra was a pre equestria battle the regal sisters had. considering sombra was still around after the fight in some form, that means the elements could not have been used on him. else he would either have been petrified or his powers torn from his being like what happened to luna.
basically an enemy they defeated with their own power.
Aghh!! the feels!!
Great chapter, can't wait for the next!
Great chapter, Now I can imagine Celestia actually in a relationship.
I am greatly saddened by this chapter. Mostly because it hits close to home.
Oh, come on!
"We're immortal and separation hurts forever, therefore we can never let ourselves love too much?"
That's what you're going with?
Celestia is broken, in this particular way, like so many other stories, and also will not listen to Luna for some reason?!
I can understand her being upset that Luna disappeared during the invasion and feeling particularly vulnerable when everyone is suddenly gone from Canterlot. But there had better be a bigger plan for this angst than "Celestia becomes the villain - again - by objecting to Luna's love life," or else I'm going to be absolutely fucking pissed that such a wonderful story fell so far in so few paragraphs.
tsk. she tells luna she shouldn't be in love because it's a risk, but even she's done it herself. what a hypocrite. Besides, you could probably take any number of ponies hostage to get to Celestia, like Twilight or even just a foal.
And what's the phrase, "better to have loved and lost than never loved at all"? Luna already loves Fleur. Cutting herself off at this point will only cause them both misery, and she will STILL be heartbroken when Fleur dies eventually. It makes more sense to make the most of the time they do have together.
This all sounds like Celestia is just jealous that her sister has found happiness while she locks her own heart in a little cold box.
Really Celestia? You're going to hold Luna accountable for a mistake you made that you didn't even realize was a mistake until you made it? Come on now.
I also sincerely hope that idiotic business about Ribbon wasn't some silly attempt to make Luna see the terrible consequences of loving a mortal. Think about your own relationship for a moment: If someone walked up to you and told you how badly it would have hurt when Ribbon passed on, would you have listened? I doubt it. There are simply some lessons that must be taught first hand.
In the hypothetical and highly unlikely event that Luna breaks things off with Fleur, chances are that she'll try again in a few years and hide it better.
Part of me wonders if this is jealousy, either of Luna being in a serious relationship or of Fleur for drawing away some of Luna's affections
I also kinda hopes Luna goes full-blown Nightmare on Celestia because she decides to take a more direct approach in interfering with Luna's love life
Stupid Celstia
Just then, a small piece of parchment floated lazily in through a seemingly closed window. It read:
Dear Princess Celestia,
Oh dearest Celestia, for all your years you are yet naive as a foal. Forcing Luna and Fleur apart would not only break their hearts, but it would also drive a wedge between you and your sister, undermining the very strength you two hold together, the very strength you seek to gain by driving them apart. Would not an easier solution simply be to accept Fleur into the palace? Even if not officially wed, it would surely have a better conclusion than your current proposal. Keep Fleur safe so she can't be used against your sister, let Luna experience love and loss, just as you have, and then be there to comfort her when the time of Fleur's passing eventually comes. It should turn out better for all of us that way. Oh, and don't worry- your secrets are safe with me.
-Discord
P.S.- Don't you worry, I'm still a statue. Time travel certainly is convenient.
(Wanted to put my thoughts down whilst practicing my creative writing )
4340167
Pretty much this!
Sure, Luna needed some perspective because she just run away during the changeling invasion. But to her defence, after a thousand years of imprisonment and the massive solitude and alienation she felt prior to that, she finally found a pony that close to her again. Of course she is going to protect her. What Celestia is doing here not only makes no sense, it paints her as a massive bitch.
Point one: happily allowing Luna to attend the event only to change her mind and then get angry on top of it. Because she needed Luna's opinion on the changeling situation, which she already knew anyway.
Point two: her negative reaction towards the nature of the event. I mean Luna's sexual preference was kind of known to her for a few centuries now. One could even argue her prior disagreement was part of the alienation that led to Nightmare Moon and Celestia should do more to accept her sisters lifestyle now, not less.
Point three: how she describes Fleur. Celestia calling any pony like that is quite unimaginable, much less so her sister's friend/lover (especially since it's likely Celestia already knows Fleur personally, with her being part of Canterlot's elite).
Point four: the whole "we can't fall in love thing". I am sorry, but I call dragon-poop on that. Even with a perfect alicorn memory, one would get over a loss like that eventually. Celestia makes a point how she is just another pony, so she has only fallen in love once in a thousand years and since then, never again, found no pony attractive and definitely didn't miss the sex. Something doesn't end up here. Also Twilight, who she raised almost like a daughter, most faithful student, saviour of Equestria multiple times; yes, no attachment of any kind towards her whatsoever (*sarcasm).
Of course point five: "I've never seen you happier than you’ve been the past few months. So I will destroy that happiness now!"
Sorry for that wordy complaint, but I really love this story and this sudden and incomprehensible turn of events just doesn't agree with me, at all.
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See Loyal? I'm not gonna say I told you so, but I totally told you so.
4341950
I will have to agree. If anything, now is the best time for Luna and Celestia to consider romance. Before, Celestia had only herself (and maybe Cadance) to turn to with her grief. Now, they have each other.
To be fair, I've never understood the "I am immortal, therefor I should never form attachments" bullshit. I mean, it can make for an excelent character flaw, but I don't see it being a long term problem when there is more than one immortal around. Particularly when said immortals are family.
Plus, as a few others have pointed out, it's kind of impossible to not form attachments, if your character is even remotely 'human'.
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You guys are so cute.
The story isn't even over yet and you're already jumping to conclusions. Who said Luna actually leaves Fleur? Perhaps Celestia has a change of heart? Maybe the sky opens up and confectioneries rain down.
None of you know where the story's going, and yet here you are criticizing it. In some cases, outright disowning it.
Relax.
Sit tight.
Luna and Fleur aren't done yet.
4342765 Aww aren't you cute. Pretending like I didn't know you were wishy washy about where to take this story and this chapter was a test to see whether or not your original idea was fucking retarded which you now know it IS so you can change it and make it look like it was all planned. Leave it to mall security to think they can pull one over on... well anyone really.
Oh and your glasses are stupid and don't frame your face very well at all. Oh and your Lucian mid game is shit.
4342765
My comment wasn't meant as criticism and I'm sorry if it came across like that.
I was just calling Celestia out for being an idiot. I wasn't trying to say she shouldn't be either. She had good intentions for trying to do what she did
Here's the thing: People who are usually fairly on the ball still act like idiots sometimes and in Celestia's case I think it was because she didn't want Luna to go through the same pain she did. The way she chose to go about that was (IMO) rather boneheaded and made me facepalm.
4342765 ummmm dude, i did not say anything like that. said that twilight brought up would make it even stronger. someone in the present along with a loved one from the past. criticsm is not a bad thing if the wrods are like "It could be stronger" and not "Faggot"........ you would be surprised how many people think the word faggot is a legitimate form of criticism.
4342765
One, if you are addressing fans who believe they are pointing out a major flaw in your story, don't do so flippantly.
Two, nobody has left yet.
Three, I never expected Luna to dump Fleur.
Four, and most importantly, I'm concerned over how broken you've made Celestia for no other reason than to engineer more conflict.
Celestia has never gotten over Ribbon. The reason the elderly aren't simply quivering balls of emotional misery is that they've had time to come up with ways to cope, and have done so successfully. This chapter paints Celestia as someone who never learned how, even though she's lived for dozens (or more) of lifetimes. She cannot have gone through centuries of complete emotional isolation and been the mare she is portrayed to be.
Celestia is transferring undue hatred on Fleur which shows exceptionally poor judgement on her part. ("Hussy")
Celestia's solution to "protect" Luna's emotions, the pony she cares about, and whom she waited 1000 years to try and save, is to destroy Luna's social life. That shows no regard for Luna and a complete lack of wisdom, something her character is founded on.
Celestia being upset is a good thing. She feels abandoned and vulnerable. But the strength of her reaction and her solutions, solely for the sake of story conflict, are horribly OOC, and in the worst way.
Which is why I said that if this isn't part of some greater plan, and the strength of Celestia's reaction is for more than driving conflict, then I will be upset.
I don't want to see this story go the same route as the story (and sequel) of a romance between Luna and a human-turned-pony named Hendrick (can't remember title) where Celestia hates the protagonist and tries to F up Luna's relationship just because.
4342765
To clarify: I wasn't criticizing Celestia demanding that Luna reevaluates her relationship with Fleur. Nor am I against the resulting conflict testing, or even ending, said relationship. A character flaw (or whatever compelled Luna to act how she did) that interferes with the safety of an entire nation is a problem for any ruler and it is a good thing that you addressed that. But the way you portrayed Celestia in that situation is just so grating to me that I couldn't simply ignore it.
Also, on her having a change of heart later, again unlikely. For any of those two (semi-immortals with a huge history of past mistakes and reconciliation), to make such a demand that will cause the other untold emotional pain, without making sure there is absolutely no other way around that, is just off putting.
Instead of the expected genuine happiness for Luna's newly found love, combined with a caring but insistent concern from an older sibling for their future (relationship and kingdom both), we get guilt-tripping, insults, incongruent arguments and unreasonable demands.
That is what I didn't like about this chapter.
arc one complet, lets have the next one
i like that you bringt this up ... the most intresting thing about the princesses ... and how they deal with the endless waltz
Wow. Just..... wow. This reminds me fondly of my own time in the Dungeon, as it were. And you are quite right about a bad Dom or Domme risking their sub's live and health with every ill concieved desire and unagreed to scene.
Amazing.....
Yeah, well , fuck you too, Celestia. :(
............also random bondagey idea for ponies.
the ponies have moving ears. couldn't they use ear movement as a way to signal a bdsm partner?
blah, blah, blah, your characterization of Celestia is extreme is rather out of place in the Interlude, and it comes off as extremely silly and ridiculous at the same time.
4473841
Alright, let's level here...
Don't you ever claim to know what I've been through, who I am, or what I do. My personal life, ex-girlfriends included, is nothing you should ever stoop to dreg up in a normal conversation. You ought to be ashamed the thought ever crossed your mind, let alone found its way into the comment section for a story of mine.
Secondly, that 'retardation' you claim I suffer from was the product of several long, arduous months of planning and debate between myself and the editor of Archmage bebefore he oh so unceremoniously left that rather monumental undertaking in my lap. The ending of Archmage had been decided long, long before the story was ever written. The editor had assisted me with several Melody's Tale chapters and I had asked him if he wanted me to write a request for him.
He requested a twiluna story, and one about the proper way Twilicorn should have been done. Archmage never has been nor was it ever my proudest work. Intimate Details retains that spot. This wishy-washy attempt at gleaning insight for the ending of Archmage never happened. You must be mistaken.
And if that's what you think I'm doing here, you're doubly mistaken. I had an idea for the ending of Moonstone, and that idea has been altered, albeit not that dramatically. And certainly not as a product of the responses to the most recent chapter.
As I'd hope would be made clear when we publish Chapter 17 later this evening.
As for Celestia's characterization, yeah I'm probably off by a damn sight. But that's the way I've chosen Celestia to be portrayed in this particular story and who are you to tell me I'm wrong? If you dislike it, go read something else or even better; WRITE something else.With luck, the reasoning for Celestia's characterization will be made clear within the next two chapters.
As for me being a douchebag...
Yeah, so what? It's a part of my identity, one I'm not ashamed to embrace. As opposed to yourself; whom appears to be perfectly content belittling an author for his own efforts.
The reason I made the 'you guys are cute' comment was because I found it interesting how such a large group of individuals could jump to so many conclusions in the midst of a conflict that had no resolution. Not unlike you're doing now.
The story isn't over yet.
GMP and I have an ending planned out.
Implying we don't isn't just wrong; it's distasteful and rude.
Now go deepthroat all the cacti, and learn some dignity you toxic piece of cum-stained filth.
(God that felt good to write.)
hmmmm......... will admit that hwile i sitll think Luna would have responded with aggression over panic, i am having an easier time understanding the decision. i can see that, for beings like celestia and luna, relationships are difficult. when someone is lost, it hurts terribly, but we can cope and hope we see them again when our time comes. for an immortal, theri lifespans are probably so long that the loss of a loved one can hurt for centuries, as they no they will not join them for centuries to come still. not entirely convinced but i definitely understand it better.
still hoping twilight is brought up though. with twilight, celestia has opened herself up one again for that pain.
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this guy gets it.
4473841
Says the guy who just went out of his way to insult someone for no legitimate reason, and then stoop low enough to bring up his personal life, as if it were just another random set of circumstances that you can use as a cudgel on an internet forum.
I don't usually speak out like this on anything; this is the internet after all. But, I will not stand by and let anyone tear down a friend like that. So, unless you have something constructive to say about this story, and you really hate it that badly, may I kindly ask you go read something else.
4473841
Is Loyal the the greatest author on this site and infallible? No! Last time I checked Space your nothing but a rinky dink fanfiction author like the rest of us. So please, quit acting like you're some goddamn best seller. You want to give harsh constructive criticism. Fine. But don't bring up someones personal life. Makes you look like a piece of shit, and honestly, it makes me ashamed that I'm even following you.
Yeah, I think you need to take your own advise you hypocritical fuck. Let me know when you grow up so that way I can consider following you again. Assuming you actually care about one of your readers of course.
Even when Celestia is crying even if she isn't being a douchebag i think she is a douchebag especially after that talk with Luna. DARN YOU TROLLESTIA!!!!! Now excuse me while i go pimpslap Celestia
Goddamn.
That was... that was something else.
Closing quote.
Must have left on Friday then.
But Luna could have held off Chrysalis on her own despite Celestia being somewhere else in the castle.
I guess Cadance is different somehow and therefore doesn't get a talk from Celestia about leaving Shining. Wonder why Luna didn't bring up Twilight.