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My Little Pony: Friendship is Magic Fanfiction
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4479838 good on ya. Don't let petty insults like this bring you down. Just fly by, and laugh as they wallow in their own problems.
YES BUCK U CELESTIA wooo go luna! and go Fluer standing up to Luna like that way to show dedication i cant wait for the next chapter..or to see how Celestia reacts >.> not well im guessing but that bridge will just ahve to be crossed when they get there wont it
Wow.... that last sentence should cause some interesting things to happen. It shall be fun to watch the ripples as they spread.
Clichés
OH MY GOD! By the stars above, WHAT A TWIST! And it came with one of the most Addicting cliffhangers I have read. Luna x Fleur De Lis
Sittin in a tree, K I S S I N G. First comes love (check) then comes marriage (in progress) then come the filly in the baby carrier.
"Let's totally ignore what Celestial thinks and get married. "
"Ok Luna. I love you"
huh interesting. definitely a turn on the suspected yet still suspected. nifty.
keep her well Luna. for if she becomes yours, she will be a target for a thousand schemes. best keep her in safe company.
4488386
For that to happen, either some really, really twisted magic has to be in use...
...or Big Mac's getting an upgrade in his life.
*sniffle* So much liquid pride!
Wow....just wow. I fully expected Fleur to take action and find out what was going on but the way everything panned out..brilliant. That ending man, i can't even begin to describe how unexpected and amazingly awesome it is.
I'll return to the edge of my seat now, and wait for more.
4488809 the feelz...
Commence read.
Leaps and bounds, back and forth, side to side.
Words being used and questions being popped.
4489637
Fimfiction's userbase could be a fiercely loyal fighting force... The Britannians have no defense against our smut!
4489891
This comment makes me happier than I care to admit.
4489913
troll.me/images/pissed-off-obama/youre-welcome.jpg
4489637 nothing, nothing at all. In fact, I was never here.
This is in there twice
Umm...
4490384
Sunava... i'll fix these as soon as I get home.
Thank you for calling it out.
4490384
I don't always check my pre-read notes...
...But when I do, I do it in the production environment.
*doh!*
4490384
4490546
Fixed 'em both. Thank you!
4489891 4479838
There, edited it to be a bit more civil. Dunno what was going on that day, apparently I really hated your characterization there coupled with some other things. Still think using Celestia in that capacity was extreme, and rather unbelievable. Like a lot of others do as well, it would seem. I'll read the new update after the work week and see what you've done to remedy that.
4490786
I appreciate the added civility. And the removal of any mention of 'retardation' I may have had during Archmage's development. Hopefully, chapter 18 will make a few more things clear as to why Celestia is acting the way she has been.
Love this fic ^^
4501103
Not offhand, but just look for Shinez on Deviantart. Assuming his/her name hasn't changed and that his/her art is still public, you should be able to find the Sunstone comic easily enough.
........YEEEEEEESSSS!!!!!!!!!! WOOOOOOOOOH! God I love you loyal... THIS STORY IS INCREDIBLE
Well gotta say one thing, but before that please excuse me for a sec i'm about to mass freak out in three, two, one. WOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO WOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO OMG OMG BESTENDINGEVERTOONEOFTHEMOSTTEARJERKINGMOMENTI'VEEVERREAD. Awesome
*clap* *clap* *clap* well well well so i might of been right about Celestia being a major douchebag after all
Oh... oh yes. The mood kept me tense and the pacing was spot on, but it was the dilogue that shined through. I re-read this chapter twice and every bit of dialogue knew its place and didn't overstep its welcome. An imprssive feat; not many writers can do that. Good job, Loyal.
They should just have some normal time together as well. If Fleur is always expecting a session when they meet, that is bad.
Or afternoon, cause it's currently 12:30 unless a time skip occurred.
And she should not haven taken it out on Luna. Luna asked permission, though the bit about being separated could have some standing, it also has some logical flaws.
Hmmm, Fleur taking a dive from the castle and killing herself could have disastrous effects on Luna and therefore Celestia and Equestria as well.
Interesting realization for Luna, though she should have more chats with her younger sister about this stuff. That seem more alike than Luna and Celestia on the matter of relationships. Celestia seems unhealthy about it while Cadance hold the opinion "better to have loved than never loved at all." I like how Fleur is able to stand up to Luna, though I am entertained with the possibilities of Fleur killing herself. Leaving her broken body at the bottom of Luna's balcony for the princess to find or, at the very least, see.
As for the marriage, I feel it is a little early in the relationship for that to happen. They just had a relationship issue and they should see how they are able to work through it first.
Still not sure how I felt about the interlude chapter and your portrayal of celestia in this particular story but that moment where she used her safeword that scene was Perfection. I had been waiting for moonstone for Half the book TBH, It had to happen, to challenge the boundaries and rules of their relationship. I thought it might at the expo but Holding onto it for here? For something deeper and more personal? Brilliant.
I see now for certain exactly WHY you are so proud of this story. It's not perfect, (I'll admit it's definitely better than archmage but I AM still fond of archmage ) But throughout this story you have had a handful of those moments. Those paragraphs and scenes where everything was just exactly what the story needed. The kind of moments that make a reader start to suspend all disbelief and lose themselves completely in the moment. When she said moonstone. My heart skipped a beat, I held my breath, And then as she turned to walk away I cried. all the harder when luna said "She was wrong". For a split second I wasn't reading a story about Luna and fleur, I was A heartbroken lover Walking away from the only thing that I could never leave. And then she asked me to stay.
Bravo.
This chapter is amazing.