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My Little Pony: Friendship is Magic Fanfiction
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Really great chapter. The fact that you weren't scared to spend an entire chapter on plot development shows how great of an author you are and how organized this story is. Can't wait for the future chapters! Keep up the amazing work!
Really loving the pacing and detail of each chapter. You never disappoint Loyal.
Love the build up, excellent chapter!
I love this chapter, so much development and I can imagine how Fleur feels. Good job, can't wait for the next chapter.
Love the build up to the safeword reveal. Also the way you are focusing on trust in this story. I wonder if you are going to talk about what drew Fleur to bondage....stress, lack of security, insecurity in her sexuality. I like to think it is something more than just interest in the subject that is later fueled by a willing partner. Maybe a little trip into Fleur's psyche to expand on her sudden sensitivity to sensory stimulation of the sexual nature so strongly after seemingly struggling to satisfy herself before.
Enough rambling. I enjoy reading your story and it's subject matter and I hope you enjoy writing it.
Oh I just can't wait till the next chapter
So that's why they call it that...
Another excellent chapter, sir!
oh why was there no hornplay ?
everything else was again top notch ! you are great loyal!!!
nyaa!! why these cliffhangers...o.o I almost wish this was one of those complete stories I find so I doesn't has to stop reading T.T
3612285 Tom I have enough fics to wait impatiently to update, why did you have to add another one to the list?
3610445
Lane with me.
Glaivestryke
D'oh. After reading Sunstone, I really ought to have seen that coming. Nicely done.
If I may offer one criticism, though: Luna's speech patterns and word choice have seemed kinda OOC since you first introduced her. Admittedly, we're seeing her in a far different context here than we've seen her in the show, but still, she seems a little too informal overall. She was out of the social-linguistic loop for a thousand years, so to speak; while I'm not expecting her to be all "THY DOMINATRIX HATH ARRIVED," I would like to see her retain the sort of classically formal manner that she has in the show.
Not gonna lie Loyal, but I actually did that, sitting in my chair.
3617412 Do you happen to have the link for it?
I think I'm going to stop here. I'm a quarter of the way through, and I'm not invested in these characters. It's all clop and no story, which is fine, but it doesn't really appeal to me.
Fleur is pretty bland, but that's to be expected from the main character in a romance novel like this. It's kind of disappointing that I don't know much about Luna besides that she's into BDSM. There should have been more time before they got together where their feelings were looked at a little deeper. Fleur just all of a sudden becomes interested in Luna, and doesn't really reflect on the lesbian aspect of it until their driest kiss, despite having never done it before. I've been waiting for a while for them to discuss their actual relationship, and what it is, and what it would mean, but all they do is talk about kink stuff.
It's fine for clop, I would think, but I was hoping for something more.
5053999 Sadly I think I'll join you. For many of the reasons you have pointed out. It looks like good clop, but it needs a bit more for me to invest much into it.
Always give the dom a reason to punish.
4501103
I know this is almost a year ago, but I didn't see anyone answer you. There is not safe for work content on Shiniez's page.
Collars <3