Dear Mister Night Light,
We are saddened to announce to you that your wife, Miss Twilight Velvet, has escaped from our dungeons. We’re not really sure how. Either she yelled at the walls so much that they eventually gave up and let her escape or she just happens to be a ghost and can pass through the ceiling. Those are literally our best theories.
She’s on the run, she could be dangerous and it’s our duty to go and get her before she does anything harmful to the city. Please, we ask you for your help. The Princesses are gone for three days, we have been told that your son is not in the Crystal Empire and we’re running out of options. We don’t want to go outside in the night to get her. Celestia knows how that would end. If you could at least tell us where Prince Shining Armor is, it would be of great help.
Sincerely,
The Royal Guard.
Dear Royal Guard,
Yes, Twilight Velvet spends a lot of time thinking about how to get out of dungeons. It’s a hobby of hers.
I think the best thing you can do is let her vent out everything and do nothing. She’ll calm down eventually. Plus, there’s no way I’m getting near her when she’s like that.
Signed,
Night Light.
Dear Mister Night Light,
Please, we beg for your help again. We’ve finally found Miss Twilight Velvet: she was trying to get in the Royal Library again. We don’t know if she’s the most powerful magician we’ve encountered in ten years or if we’re just too afraid of her screams, but she got away this time and long story short now she’s using the Reading Room as her fortress.
We’re trying to get her out of there unsuccessfully, and half of us are already wounded.
Sir, please. Please.
Sincerely,
The Royal Guard.
Dear Royal Guard,
I’m afraid to say that you had it coming; I told you to leave her alone. And again, I’m not getting near her. I doubt I would be of help anyway. Have you tried asking nicely?
Signed,
Night Light
Dear Mister Night Light,
We tried asking nicely. It didn’t work out. She wants the time travelling spells, and at this rate we’ll end up giving them to her. We honestly don’t know what to do anymore. We even promised that she wouldn’t get back to the dungeons if she came out, but Miss Twilight Velvet didn’t listen. She's using one of the curtains as a whip.
Sincerely,
The Royal Guard
Dear Royal Guard,
It’s awfully nice for you to promise that! Poor Twilight Velvet just got a little stressed tonight, but she wouldn’t harm a fly. She’s such a sweetheart.
Signed,
Night Light
Dear Mister Night Light,
This is not begging anymore. We order you to come here and help us. Miss Twilight Velvet is getting better with the whip and half our guards can’t fight anymore. She may not harm a fly tonight, but apparently stallions are fine in her book.
You’re our last hope, and with Celestia as my witness I swear we won’t lose against a single unicorn! You’re her husband! If you were able to convince her to marry you, you will be able to get her out!
Sincerely,
The Royal Guard
Dear Royal Guard,
Not really. I just used my dazzling looks on her. Worked like a charm.
Sincerely,
Night light.
Dear Mister Night Light,
I said it was an order. Come here right now. The Royal Guard doesn’t care about your looks, dazzling as they may be.
Come here and help us NOW!
Sincerely,
The Royal Guard
Dear Royal Guard,
Last time I checked, civilians couldn’t be forced to participate in Royal Guard issues. I can give you moral support though.
Go Royal Guards!
Sincerely.
Night Light
Dear Night Light,
MISS TWILIGHT VELVET HAS OPENED THE DOOR AND NOW SHE’S SWITCHED HER STRATEGY TO AN OFFENSIVE ONE!
SHE’S SWEEPING US OUT! SHE’S REPELLING OUR SPELLS WITH THE WHIP!
HELP US!
Sincerely,
The Royal Guard
Dear Royal Guard,
You can repel spells with a whip? Celestia, my wife is impressive sometimes.
But don’t worry, you still have the moral high ground here. Whipping ponies is bad. Go Royal Guards!
Signed,
Night Light
Dear Night Light,
WE CAN’T WIN AGAINST THE WHIPPING DEMON! SHE’S GOING TO END US ALL!
SHE’S WHIPPING ME RIGHT NOW AND IT HURTS LIKE TARTARUS! PLEASE, HELP!
Sincerely,
The Royal Guard
Dear Royal Guard,
Twilight Velvet is whipping you and you still send me a letter? I don’t really understand how that works, but Princess Celestia can be proud of her Royal Guards’ dedication.
I think screaming for help would be more more efficient, though. But hey, I’m nopony to tell you how to do your job.
And don’t worry, I’m sure she’ll get tired soon. She only switches to attacking when she’s about to run out of batteries.
Signed,
Night Light
Dear Mister Night Light,
This is probably going to be the last letter I ever send. I would prefer sending this to my wife and daughter, but the captain has fallen and he was the only one who knew how to change the automatic spell. So I ask you to look for them once this is over, and make sure they know I love them.
I can see the Whipping Devil approaching me. I can see the evil spark in her eye. There’s only the two of us left, and once the whip swings again, there will only be one.
I spent six years training with the spear. I’m the best spearstallion in the Royal Guard. I don’t have my loyal weapon with me this time, only a broken mop. But it will have to do it.
There’s no hope left. I know I won’t make it. But I will try. For the ones who tried before me and failed, and for the ones who ran in despair. For my comrades.
FOR CELESTIA!
Sincerely,
The Royal Guard
Dear Royal Guard,
How dramatic. I’m dying to know what happens next!
Signed,
Night Light
Dear Night Light
I made it. My eyes are shutting closed, and I don’t know how much time I have left, so I’ll go straight to the point: the Whipping Demon seemed to calm down and fell asleep all of a sudden. However, I will follow her in no time. I’m too tired to keep going.
We won, Mister Night Light.
It cost us everything, but we won.
Sincerely,
The Royal Guard
Dear Royal Guard,
Oh my, she fell asleep? How adorable!
Anyway, I guess I need to go and get her now. She’ll hurt her back if she sleeps on the floor. Plus we have special visitors and Twilight Velvet has to be here. I've already bought popcorn and everything.
Signed,
Night Light
Wow, I didn't think this would be continued, but I like it!
Could have told you that right out.
Sadly, this addition wasn't nearly as good as the first one. I'm starting to think the original chapter being so good was a fluke.
Your birthday is today? Happy Birthday!
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Yeah.
Very nice
absolutely glorious
Gorgeous!
cs409521.vk.me/v409521700/2201/LFQuad_pcmo.jpg
Oh my, that was pretty funny. Poor Royal Guard, they just got their flanks beat by a single unicorn mare. Those poor, poor souls.
~ Super-Brony12
Wait a minute...
*checks chapter again*
"Friday, October 18, 2013"? I didn't know ponies used the Gregorian Calender?
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To clarify my criticisms a bit more: the original had a nice build up and "resolution." There was a lot of good humor in it.
This one just feels like pandering, though. There's no real logic, the build-up is false, and the sentiments of everyone expressed in the letters feels extremely forced.
I don't begrudge you proofreading errors based on English as Not-First Language, of course, you're not bad for a non-native speaker.
Left out the o there.
I think you meant the
Can leave out the "ed"
Brilliant ending!
Oh my sides still haven't recovered from before!
Hahahaha!
Conveniently, I am eating popcorn as I write this.
Happy birthday!
And this day will go into the annals of history of the guard as a day of triumph, yet also a day of mourning.
Never forget "the Whipping Devil."
Quite a turn of events though.
Happy Birthday! Also, I really liked Night Light. He's like 20% cooler than Rainbow Dash!
Wow. He took all the credit.
Happy Birthday Aragon! I hope you have a wonderful day
Even if you haven't proofread this first it still is nice. Besides the things Roarbox said, there aren't so many erros. Only that you often wrote his in place of her. Either that or Twilight Velvet is a stallion....
Twilight is a stallion then too....
In the article is written "his father"...is Twilights whole family made out of stallions or what?
not as good as the original but still funny as hell XD keep on keeping on dude
You have some pronoun mixups.
19?
Pfft.
The downside of getting a huge success is that for the rest of your life people will be telling you nothing you've done since was as good don't let it get you down.
Happy birthday!
Also, lots of props for writing in a second language, first. And a great job keeping both sides in voice. And for not being proofread, there weren't too many typographical issues - some gender-swapped pronouns and typos, mostly.
Question: how'd you make the article? That was funny.
Great follow up, though as you said, it does need editing. :p
Happy birthday!
"Darn tootin'!"
-Unimpressive Vagaries
Night Light is awesome
Happy Birthday
It's like one story leading to another, but really humorous! I wonder what happens to her big fans...
Happy B-day author! love the chapter as well as the story!
But what does twilight think about all this?
Happy b-day bro! /)
Also, I wonder what Twilight will think of all this...
I imagine Jade Singer (see the IDW pony comics) charging in there to get Velvet out of HER Library.
"HACK!"
"ONE-TRICK PONY!"
Happy Birthday!
19...
Old...
heh. *is 31*
Awesome!!!
Oh, and HAPPY BIRTHDAY, YAY!!!
happy birthday
great chapter by the way
more^^
... I sure as hell HOPE she isn't changing genders in the middle of the fight. Also, go Night Light! Just tell her you stood back and watched knowing what would happen and you MIGHT not sleep on the couch tonight
....kinda wanted Velvet to win.
but happy b-day anyway!
Happy Birthday you young whippersnapper,"shakes cane", now stay off my lawn.
Happy birthday
anyone up for part 3?
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I'm 31 too... Kids these days... am I right ?
Anyways, happy birthday kiddo !
As it turns out, the Daring Do series is autobiographical, only she is really a wandering villain and burglar.
How melodramatic!
Happy birthday, Aragon!
A SECOND CHAPTER?!
(I was saving this for an especial occasion)
And happy birthday!
Ah, I see what you did there.
HAH! I loved this! The moral grounds got me chuckling - the newspaper clipping was the icing on the cake. Good work!
The best part!
3364672 Perhaps the moral here is: if people ask for more, and you don't have any good ideas, don't listen to them.
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+1 that
LOVED IT! I look forward to more...if there is going to be more that is...
Also, HAPPY BIRTHDAY!
*coming
*the
Shaddup, whippersnapper.
Just wondering, how did you get the clipping?