when slenderman left me in paradise

by Jimbob

Doughnut!

[Knight]

{Me}

“POSEIDON STOP!” I yelled as I made, another, tackling dive towards him.

“Nah I’m good” he teleported out of in front of me and continued down the hallway with the Princesses in tow. I fell to the ground, again.

“THEY’LL NEVER TRUST ME AGAIN!” I shouted

“Of course they will Jake ponies and humans are very different, though they might be a smidge more suspicious of you in the future.” I got up and ran towards him again; planning on stopping him at any costs when I was engulfed in light blue magic.

“Let me go!” I yelled as I struggled against his magic.

“Sorry Jake can’t have you interfering right now; this is going to be pretty difficult you know, so see you later!” I felt a tug at the base of my spine and then nothing but pins and needles. I opened my eyes and found myself in an alleyway.

“FUCK!” he teleported me out of the castle!

“Nonononono” I muttered as I ran out of the alley looking for the castle, I saw it way off in the distance. How the fuck did he manage to teleport me way out here?

[He’s a god! Now get moving!]

I ran out of the alley way and jumped into the about to fly towards the castle, only to have my wings fail to open. I looked at my back; they were covered in his magic still!

“FFUUUUCCCCKKKKKK!” I yelled as I ran down the street jumping over ponies and carts all the same. I was running as fast as my legs would take me and the castle didn’t look any closer, I sighed there was no way I would make it there in time, best case scenario was that he would explain why I had lied to them and they would hopefully forgive me.

Worst case was that none of them want to see me again and I live the rest of my days defending ponies that don’t trust me. Although I find it hard to believe that Pinkie would hate me, she seems to break the fourth wall too often to not have noticed someone watching them. I resigned myself to my fate, and decided to walk towards the castle at a slower place.

[Well to be honest it probably would've be a bad idea to take on a God you just met]

{Yeah plus that would look bad on a résumé}

[I don’t know shows a lot of incentive to get a job done]

I chuckled to myself. Ok what could I do before I possibly lost my friends? Get drunk is pretty high on the list but I have no idea where the nearest bar is and doubt they have anything strong enough to get me drunk. So I guess I could go get some food I hadn’t eaten anything in a while. At the thought of food my stomach growled loudly making my decision that much easier.

I walked down the street and froze when I saw a large sign proclaiming ‘BEST DOUGHNUTS IN CANTERLOT!’ right under a smaller sign saying ‘PONY JOE’S’. I had too think about it for all of a second I mean these doughnuts were good enough to be known through-out two universe that’s good enough for me.

I walked in, ignoring the strange looks I got, like a boss and swaggered up to the counter. The pony behind the counter looking behind him in glass cases. I cleared my throat.

“Oh! Sorry about that.” He turned around and his eyes got wide. Before I could even explain that no in fact I was not planning on eat him he yelled.

“Hey you’re the guy that saved the Princess!” wait what? I thought that was between the Elements and me.

“Umm yeah, how did you know?” he smiled and handed me a newspaper that I eagerly scanned.

New Creature Saves Equestria?
As many of you are aware there was an attack on Princess Celestia recently. What many of you are not aware of is the strange creature that she claims to have saved. She said it had been found in the Everfree forest recently and had been deemed ‘safe to Ponykind’ and allowed it to stay in the rural town of Ponyville where it was being kept under the watchful eyes of the Elements of Harmony. Once the Elements received summons to a royal wedding the creature was taken with them to ensure its safety, when the changelings appeared and began to attack Canterlot the creature flew to the throne room and began to protect the Princess from the self proclaimed Queen of the Changelings and eventually slew her. The creature in question has been described as ‘very tall while walking on two legs’ as well as having no fur except a brown mane if you should see this creature do not be alarmed he doesn’t wish to harm anypony.

{Oh you’ve got to be shitting me}

[Hey look we’re heroes!]

{Shut-up! We were trying to kill the Princess remember?}

[We still technically defend her]

{Just cause we wanted to be the one to kill her!}

I growled at my interior monologue and returned the newspaper.

“Yeah that was me.” I said gruffly

“Well I doubt you came in here to talk about that, so what can I get ya?” I picked out two donuts with sprinkles (sprinkles are awesome yo) and adamantly ensured that I would pay for them and not just take them for ‘Saving all of Equestria’ as he put it. I wandered over to a table, cursing the shortness of pony chairs, and made myself a chair, to gasps of a half-dozen ponies, and preceded to eat my donuts.

“Hey Jakey! What you doing?” my donut stopped in mid-air.

[It’s her, isn’t it?]

{Yep}

“Pinkie, how did you find me?” I replied as calmly as I could.

“Oh silly Poseidon sent me to find you!”

“Oh so he teleported you to me?”

“Nope I just found you!” that’s terrifying how can she just find me like that?

“And how did you find me?”

“Oh! I asked anypony if they had seen a big hairless monkey and they said you were in here!” well that sounds more sane than I had anticipated, maybe Pinkie wasn’t as crazy as I thought. Then as if just to contradict me Pinkie began to eat a caramel apple that seemed to come from nowhere.

“Pinkie where did you get that?”

“I have caramel apple stash all over Canterlot, in case of caramel apple emergencies!” right and back to crazy.

“Alright Pinkie let’s go before my head explodes or something.”

“Okie Dokie Lokie” she hopped up and led me out of the shop, wondering how bad this was gonna be.

Comments

[Diabolic Gnome]

short chapter

[Azure Feather]

Yes the sprinkles are just perfect...

[1I1I1I]

awesome chapter as always, but you still need to work on sentence pacing and comma placement.

[Harmony_Blue]

Link for cover art and i give you a muffin.

[Jimbob]

549233
sorry i've had it in my folders for so long i dont know where i found it, i suggest using a program called tiny eye to find it

[Primordial Deomontus]

owned by a pinkie!