when slenderman left me in paradise

by Jimbob

PARTY HARD!

[Knight]

{Me}

“I said I was sorry Twi! What more could you want?!”

“I want you to stop trying to get yourself killed!”

[You two sound like a married couple]

{I know! Were not even dating yet!}

[Yet?]

{Shut-up}

“But it all worked out for the better!”

“You still could have died!”

“How was I supposed to know there was a dragon down there?!” it’s not like I went looking for trouble.

“You still fought the dragon!”

“Only to protect the fillies”

“You could have run away!”

“And lead the dragon straight to Ponyville? I think not!” She started to grumble knowing I had a point.

“Fine! But please be more careful in the future”

“Alright I’ll be more careful, worrywart. So what’s the plan for the day?” She looked at me peeved.

“YOU are not doing anything, the doctors said you need to rest” we’ll see how long that lasts.

“I” she continued “have some errands to run in town so you’ll have to stay in the library”

“And you expect me to stay in the library the whole time?”

“Yes”

I laughed evilly to myself no way I was staying the library the whole time. When we got back to town I was pleased to notice that the ponies weren’t running away from me screaming in terror. In fact some of them came up to me and shook my hand which honestly was a little bit embarrassing I wasn’t used to this much attention. When they ran away at least I could pretend they weren’t staring at me from behind closed shutters.

“So Twi who would I talk to about buying land?” my arm was starting to hurt after the 30th hoofshake.

“Oh you would probably have too talk to Mayor Mare about that” she looked sad again.

“And if I were say looking for a Mayor Mare where would I, per say find her?”

She turned too me and gave me an annoyed/angry look.

“Jake you better not leave the library today”

“Twilight I’m insulted you think so little of me” that didn’t stop the look.

“I’m insulted that you think I don’t know that you’re planning on leaving the library”

“Oh yeah? Well I’m insulted that you’re insulted about me leaving the library, I mean that’s just insulting!”

[Needs more insulting]

{I concur with your hypothesis}

“Jake I mean it if you leave the library I will ensure that you regret it” she was glaring at me with unhidden anger and …. Worry?

{WHY ARE WOMEN SO CONFUSING?!}

[Ha, I’ve been around for thousands of years and they still confuse me. Good luck you’ll need it]

“I’ll keep that under advisement”

“Jake…” she said warningly.

“Fine, fine I’ll stay in the library for now” I put my hands up in mock surrender.

“Pinkie promise?” damn it all she would make me Pinkie promise. I went through the motions and she seemed happy with it. After we arrived at the library she and Spike left to run errands apparently. And now I’m bored. I tried reading some books
about Equestrian history but kept getting distracted and couldn’t concentrate.

[Why don’t we just leave?!]

{We Pinkie promised not too}

[SO WHAT!? Break the promise and leave!]

{GOOD GOD NO! you want a pissed of Pinkie Pie after us? Cause I don’t! And don’t even get me started on what Twilight would do to us!}

[Fine then at least use this time wisely and read the book about our powers]

{The GREAT AND POWERFUL book?}

[Must you call it that?]

{You have a better name?}

[The book of knowledge, the book of power, anything really]

{I denounce those names on account of sounding like them came from an Indiana Jones movie!}

[Whatever]

I dug around in the pocket of my trench coat till I found it and cracked it open.

“Ok book what all can you do?” spindly writing bled onto the page.

I can display all the known powers of demons as well as blueprints for certain items.

Blueprints huh? That could be useful maybe check it out later.

“Ok book show me some of my powers”

List of Powers for Shadow Demons:
1. Shadow Tendrils: the ability to call forth shadows to move items.
2. Shadow forming: create almost any item out of shadows.
3. Shadow Stalking: standing within a shadow and using it to conceal yourself.

Wait Shadow Stalking? That sounds sweet let’s test it out. I looked around the library until I noticed a relatively large shadow I walked into it and focused on moving the shadows. I felt them flow over me like water I looked around I could still see but according to the book I look just like a shadow. I heard hoovesteps and looked over towards the door, in walked Twilight with Spike on her back.

“JAKE! We’re back!”

“Ok” I replied Twilight jumped up, nearly knocking Spike off her back, she frantically began to look around for me.

“J-Jake where are you?”

“Right here” I said as I walked out of the shadow. Twilight yelp and jumped back.

“How did you do that!?”

“I covered myself in shadows and hid in shadow that was big enough” Now Twilight looked curious.

“Jake you never did tell me how your power worked” she was staring at me curiously.

“No I guess I didn’t” if she wants to know she gonna have to ask.

“Ok so how does it work?”

“Oh I don’t know magic or something”

“What do you mean you don’t know!?”

“Oh well its simple really I have this kickass power but I don’t know how it works” Twilight was glaring at me. My brain took the time to remind me of the episode where Twilight tried to figure out Pinkie’s ‘sense’ because she didn’t understand it.

“Well that tears it we’ll have to figure it out” Spike leaned up and whispered something in Twilight’s ear.

“Later I guess”

“Why later?” now I was curious about what Spike could have said to derail Twilight’s train of thought.

“Because we need your help in town”

“Why me?” she fumbled around for an answer for a bit.

“W-well you do you opposable thumbs” I pointed at Spike

“So does he”

“And you’re taller than most ponies” she laughed nervously with her eyes flicking back and forth. She such a terrible liar.

“Alright lead the way” Spike jumped back up on her back and we headed out the door. I couldn’t help but notice that the streets were empty.

{Maybe they decide being nice was too mainstream and went back too hiding from me}

[Or maybe the worms from tremors came and ate all the ponies]

{No I doubt that}

[You’re right it’s much more likely that there’s a plague turning ponies into zombies and now we are some of the few survivors!]

{OH of course what was I thinking, zombie ponies make much more sense than logic}

[Told you so]

Twilight was leading me towards Sugarcube Corner. ‘Ahh’ I thought ‘so Pinkies going to throw me a party hmmm? Alrighty then.’ I pulled some shadows away from the environment and slowly began to cover myself in them.

“Ok Jake in here” she opened the door to a dark room.

“Alrighty then” I walked in and stepped against the wall.

“SURPRISE!!” dozens of voice yelled as the lights flicked on. They looked around for me but didn’t see anything.

“Where’d he go?”

“Oh he’s right here silly” Pinkie said as she flying tackled me from behind.

[HOW DID SHE KNOW!?]

{DUDE WE WERE HIDING IN THE SHADOW OF A TABLE}

“Pinkie that’s terrifying.” She just giggled and bounced away.

“Good try Jake” I looked over my shoulder to see Twilight walking towards me.

“I try” I stood up and walked over towards the snack table. Cupcakes, cakes, pies, punch and MUFFINS! I dug into the muffins with gusto.

“Glad to see somepony else that likes muffins” somepony giggled. I turned around with half a muffin in my mouth. I saw a grey Pegasus pony with bubbles for a cutiemark hovering right behind me.

“Oh hello there my name’s Jake nice to meet you Miss…?’

“Oh my name’s Ditzy Doo but everypony calls me Derpy! Could you pass me a muffin?” I handed her a pumpkin muffin. She bit into it appreciatively as I finished off my muffin.

“Later Ditzy” I began to walk away as Ditzy waved too me. I saw Applejack moving a barrel of cider into the room.

“Hey AJ what you got there?”

“Some of my special cider” I like where this is going.

“It wouldn’t happen to be alcoholic would it?”

“Eeyup it sure is” BOO-YAH DRUNK PONY TIME ACTIVATE!

“Can I get some of it?”

“Alright but careful sugarcube it’s strong stuff.” She handed me a cup with her hoofs somehow. I took a sip this stuff taste like apple juice someone had mixed a bit of rubbing alcohol in.

“This is the strong stuff?”

“Yeah why?”

“It’s really weak compared to what I drank back home.” She did a double take.

“This is weak?!” she seemed a bit upset.

“Sorry to say yes” she looked a little down trodden at this.

“Don’t worry AJ I’ll make some heavy stuff later you can try.”

“Alright then” she still seemed upset.

“And maybe I can show you how to make your stuff stronger” she perked up at this.

I wandered over towards the DJ booth. There was a white unicorn with an electric blue mane DJing.

“Hi monkey thing”

“Hi unicorn thing you know you can call me Jake”

“Ok monkey thing you can call me Vinyl” right apparently my new name is monkey thing.

[Embrace the change!]

{Don’t make me come up there!}

“So I was wondering if you could play some of my music.” I pulled out my mp3 and handed it over too her.
“I think I might be able to set it up” she plugged it into the speaker and I selected a song.

“Aww yeah!” the ponies looked up at the change of music but seemed to really enjoy it. I finished off my cup of cider and headed back over to the barrel to get another cup. I looked around and saw several tipsy ponies wandering around. ‘Lightweights’ I thought I looked over towards the snack table where I saw a very drunk Twilight attempting to stand up straight.

{Drunk Twilight, huh? Never thought I would she the day}

I walked over too her.

“Hey Twi you feeling ok?”

“JAKE!” she launched herself at me in a tackle hug that knocked me to the ground.

“Yes Twi?” she was nuzzling my chest and seemed content to just lay there.

“Jake I like you” yeah she was wasted.

“I like you too Twi” she looked up at me.

“No Jake I really like you” wait was she saying she wanted to go out with me? Why were these things so confusing?!

“I really like you too Twi but firstly you are drunk, secondly I’m pretty sure that I’m terrible handling these situations in public, and finally I think it time to head back to the library.” Twilight didn’t argue I looked down and saw she had fallen asleep on my chest.

{Well she probably didn’t even hear a word I said}

[Whatever tell her tomorrow or maybe in a few days considering the hangover she’s gonna have]

I chuckled and picked Twilight up. I went back over to the DJ booth and picked up my mp3 I said my goodbyes to the other ponies and found Spike asleep in the backroom of the bakery. I made some shadow arms from within my cloak and picked him up and headed back towards the library.

Twilight was nuzzling my chest the whole way home, not that I was complaining. When I got back to the library I took Twilight and Spike upstairs to their room I put Spike down in his basket and Twilight down in her bed. Although I did have some problems extracting my arms from her grasp. I smiled as I went downstairs tomorrow was promising to be interesting.

A/N: Updates may take a little while longer now that I’m working more sorry guys!

Comments

[jercos]

Kinda bugging me, I know this can potentially be "story-accurate" as Jake's inner monologue, since he wouldn't necessarily know this, but "an mp3" would typically refer to a single file, in MPEG Layer 3 format, while "an mp3 player" would be a device capable of playing those mp3s. To hand an mp3 to Vinyl, Jake would need to have some sort of physical manifestation of a file... Which now that i think about it would be kinda cool. But I digress.

Drunk Twilight is so sweet

And of course, Pinkie Pie continues to be best Deus ex Equestria.

[Azure Feather]

All i can say this story is perfect

Drunk Twi is the best Twi

[skyscraper123]

The final sentence I think there is a comma missing or something.

[Jimbob]

381548
lol good point
382003
thanks
382211
probably I'm not so good with grammar

[The Lich King]

382296
You sir are fucking awesome.
i1.kym-cdn.com/photos/images/original/000/261/331/158.png

[Solar Eclipse]

nice as always, I love this fanfic, I cant wait for the next chapter!

[AcrylicDawn]

OHMYFLIPPINGOD
i love this song!