• Published 29th Feb 2012
  • 8,066 Views, 785 Comments

when slenderman left me in paradise - Jimbob



slenderman isn't all that bad i suppose

  • ...
34
 785
 8,066

PreviousChapters Next
drunk

A/N: FOUR DAY WEEKENDS ROCK! Thinking about doing a blog about an average day here, also the next chapter is gonna be a Q&A session so if you have questions just leave them in the comments! Thanks peace out!

[Knight]

{Me}

"Note to self rocket launcher need to be able to launch rockets" I said as I patted out a fire on my sleeve

Rocket testing was not going well and by that I mean this was the second time a rocket had exploded and only a wall of shadow had saved me from becoming a bit more hole-y.

[Maybe we should just stick with grenades...]

{I have not failed 1,000 times. I have successfully discovered 1,000 ways to NOT make a rocket. Thomas Edison said that}

[*Sigh* No he didn't]

{How would you know you're not Thomas Edison!} at this point I'm pretty sure he started beating his head against something, which would have been funny except I was pretty sure that he was hitting part of my brain which was probably a bad thing.

[I need a drink]

{Demons can't drink}

[Fine you need a drink, so we both can get drunk!]

{What about the rockets?}

[What about them?]

{I dunno shouldn't we make them or something?}

[Why do we even need rockets?]

{Uhhhh...}

[See no need for rockets! Let's go get drunk!] well can't argue with that logic plus it was getting kinda late and I could use a drink, hopefully the moonshine was done.

XXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXX

Let me start by saying I originally had no notions of getting shit-faced it was just one of those things that happens like earthquakes or playing Pokemon for the first time and buying a Magikarp completely unexpected and unwanted.

Which leads to me being in the middle of Ponyville at 2:00 AM-ish singing

. Well I by singing I mean slurring.

She took the midnight train going ANYWHERRRREEE!

Not one of my better moments. As I wandered down the street I came across Sugarcube Corner and I had one of those brilliant moments only drunks can have.

"Ohmygod izz a house made outta food!" I don't really know why but I instead of trying to eat it like any other drunk would, I gave the house a hug and petted it saying 'good house'. I'm not sure if I was trying to compliment the house or tell it that I was proud of it for being made out of food.

I continued to wander around Ponyville completely oblivious to the fact that several ponies were following me.

TWILIGHT'S POV

Twilight had originally been rather confused as to why somepony was knocking on her door so early in the morning and was prepared to give them a piece of her mind well until she saw it was Pinkie Pie.

"Pinkie what are you doing here so early in the morning?!" she stage whispered to her hyperactive friend.

"Jake just petted my house"

"What?"

"He said something about 'a house made of food' and then he petted my house" Even Pinkie looked somewhat confused about the actions of the young man. Twilight, having no idea of the inner workings of a drunk human's mind, simply sighed

"Take me too him."

DRUNK JAKE'S POV

I was mumbling something incoherently was two ponies came up from behind me

"Jake?"

"Whoys wasit?" I turned around and saw Twilight and the pony my drunk subconscious dubbed 'the pink destroyer of worlds' don't really know why.....

"Oh hi'ya Twilight" I said as I waved to her, sniffed and glared at me

"Jake are you drunk?"

[No]

"Yesh" my brain loaded "No" she just glared some more

The pink destroyer seemed to think that this was hilarious and somehow got on top of my head and began to try to steer me around saying something about 'drunken adventures'

"No I don't wanna have drunken adventures!" I yelled while trying to get the pink one off my head unfortunately in my drunken state I lack the balance require to remain vertical and soon found myself lying at the hooves of Twilight.

"Twilight save me from the Pink one!" I said while trying and failing to regain my footing, gravity is a real bitch like that always picking on the drunks. Pinkie seemed to think was hilarious and fell to the ground giggling

"Jake why did you drink so much?"

"Knight challenged me to a drink contest" Twilight's eyebrow twitched a bit

"And you thought that the voice in your head would be able to drink?"

"I had to defend my honor!"

[And you still lost!]

"No you lost!"

[No you did!]

"NO I WON!" I probably would have continued arguing like this if I hadn't been picked up in a purple-ish aura by a rather amused/annoyed unicorn

"Good night Pinkie" She stopped laughing and pouted

"Awww where are you taking him? We still need to have drunken adventures!."

"No Pink destroyer I don't want to have drunk adventure!" she looked only slightly confused at the name I had given her as Twilight continued to levitate me away, then she giggled

"Bye Jakey Bye Twilight!" she began to bounce away while I mumbled something about ruing the day I went on drunken adventures with her.

"Jake what am I going to do with you?" I lazily floated in somersaults

"Love me and then we'll buy some cake and go visit Denmark!"

"What's a Denmark?"

"It's a place with water and beaches and flowers and house and other stuff!"

"Equestria has beaches and flowers"

"Oh we should go there then"

"We are there"

"That was quick, wait there's no water! Twilight did you lie to me?" I'm pretty sure Twilight was ready to use a sleep spell on me or something however my sleep deprived body beat her to the punch as I drifted to sleep in her telekinesis grip.

A/N: A goofy chapter before things get serious lemme know what you think

PreviousChapters Next