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My Little Pony: Friendship is Magic Fanfiction
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awwww how adorable!
YES
WONDERFUL
MOAR
To be honest, that is a bit of an anti-climax.
We finally got to the point where RariLight are seeing the movie since the shoot. I expected that it would be stopped while watching it so that the two of them would actually get down to each other and basically have sex together for the first time (with that said, congrats Twilight for finally getting her cherry popped!! And even if it didn't, she's experiencing her first sexual experience with somepony that is very experienced in Rarity.)
Maybe I'm just a dirty pervert (hell, I know there are some of you that was thinking the same way), but I was expecting that they basically decided to scrap the movie and decided to make some love magic of their own, and considering all the events and feelings up to this.....I just feel a little jilted.
On the other hand, it kinda makes sense that this chapter was short. Most people (and mares, apparently) will have their first orgasm after just a little bit of stimulus. Twilight is definitely not an exception.
Part of me is scared of Pinkie though---I just get the feeling that she's gonna either scare the shit out of Spike because of it, or she's gonna give Spike the greatest sexual experience of his young life, and no one (not even Rarity ) would even come close to what she will make him (and herself ) feel together, either now or ever again.
says the mare who cums paper.
denver.mylittlefacewhen.com/media/f/rsz/mlfw4045_small.jpg
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Seriously though, good chapter. A bit on the short side, could've been a tad longer and more emotional. But as far as first go it could've been worse, and was well worth the wait.
That was good but felt...incomplete, like there was so much more potential. I'm not complaining, just sayin'.
Awkward tension between my least favorite ship? yay.
Awkward tension between the two protagonists of one of my favorite stories on this site? NOOOOOO!!!!!
Your great writing outweighs my hatred for the featured ship here. That's a HUGE compliment btw
That was a good and adorable chapter I WANT MOAR If that is alright with you
4064492 4064815 4065200 I understand and completely agree that the chapter was anticlimactic. I was hesitant to post the chapter as it stands now because I wasn't totally happy with it.
The implication here is that I'm not trying my hardest to write a good story, and that stems to a deeper issue I have: burnout. As a story progresses, and especially near the conclusion, I start to slack off and tend to rush important moments. Filly Fooling is another good example of this.
It's something I want to work on improving, and I have another story I'm going to work on after this that has an editor to hopefully motivate me to push myself.
I couldn't let those comments go unanswered, so I hope this clarifies how I feel about the chapter and what I can do to improve my writing next time. I feel better now that I've explained myself, even if it wasn't a response you were looking for. Thanks for continuing to read the story. I really appreciate the support and the honest feedback.
4066714
I still like the story and thought the chapter was good. Perhaps getting an editor for the rest of the would help? Either way I'm sure you can work through your burnout.
I was wondering when this would happen. This is something everyone in this kind of situation goes through. Dating someone in the industry is not as easy as one might think.
I am curious, does Rarity have some prior experience with mares? She didn't have any reservations a first timer might have. Course that could have just been due to her confident personality.
4064815 That image is so perfect...
I liked the chapter And I understand perfectly Twilight's reaction about the movie. Maybe with time she will be prepared to see it, but I understand that not now.
4066714
I understand completely. I get the same way sometimes. The best thing to do is not overwork yourself and allow the story to become a chore or obligation. Take a break and come back to it when you feel up to it.
4067116 4067681 Thanks for understanding. Think I'll just ride this one out because it's almost done. We'll see where future projects take me.
4069354
I'm sure the rest will be great. This has been my favorite Twilight x Rarity, which was not what I was expecting when I first started reading the story.
4066714
Burnout can be a problem. Hope everything works out.
4067147
Thanks .
4066714
OK then. I hope things are still going decently. And I think you may have said it without deliberately saying it: It's not right to rush it. Better to take it's time and make it work than to feel like you're on a deadline and therefore feel to have to skim and rush. You're not on a clock.
If it takes you longer to do so, by all means. You've gotten so many of us raptured to what you have created, I honestly doubt that people are gonna leave just because a chapter doesn't seem to be by your standards. To the contrary--it allows us to always be ready for more coming!!