• Member Since 13th Jun, 2013
  • offline last seen Nov 19th, 2013

Enthereta Buzzpone


E

Twilight never saw Spike again. Their goodbyes had been said.

But Twilight knew he kept his promise.


The awesome drawing you see here was made by this genius of an artist: http://erosplosion.deviantart.com
If you wanna check out the original artwork, check here: http://erosplosion.deviantart.com/art/Goodbye-395005722

Chapters (1)
Comments ( 14 )

All right, comment time! A quick, bittersweet little story. There is a lot you don't explain, and I am usually fine with such things, but in this case they seem to be things that are relevant to the story. What kind of lie could Twilight say that would make Spike strike her? It seemed an out of character action, and without knowing the context of it, I have to continue treating it that way.

Personal comment, I always thought of Twilight more like Spike's big sister, and Celestia more a mother figure for him. But regardless, the story was of your design and it was very well written. A few grammar errors that stuck out at me, a quick proof read should catch them next time around.

'I just couldn't believe he striked me' Struck is the right word.

Anyway, keep up the good work!
-Lumino

3234421 That's very kind of you saying that you like my story, and thank you for the constructive criticism, it helps! I made the lie seem really bad to set the story up. Spike is very mad, and in his rage, he realizes he's not a little kid anymore. In a way, the lie Twilight told helped him. Twilight also got the point, just let him go. Again, thank you!:twilightblush::yay:

3234421 Also, remember Spike is in a teenage stage right now. A big lie may seem like the end of the world to him. Just sayin' :twilightblush:

BR
BR #4 · Sep 21st, 2013 · · ·

Stay cool

Thanks

Very nice, very nice

Amazing. Full of feels, yet also pretty short. I just wish you could explain what the lie was and a little bit more about why Spike was leaving. Still really good though, can't wait to read your other stuff!

3235102 Thank you, my friend also cried when he read it! :raritycry:

3235120 I don't plan to explain the whole "lie" thing, just so you know. I will make plenty of other stories, though!

Love the story. Hate the idea that Twilight is his mother.

The dialogue was so weird and choppy and didn't really have enough backing Exposition wise to really mean something. You went very vague in some parts an had Twilight 'discover' Spike as her son even though you already established her feeling of him as her son... The dialogue was really corny, and didn't seem realistic even for the show. Maybe add more details and it would make more sense. Good story though, I liked it.

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