Welcome to Pony Vale

by Servomoore

The Mayor's Scandal

"All those friends and family members who say they're just doing what's best for you are lying. It's just they don't know it yet. Welcome to Pony Vale." As the introductory music started, Fluttershy glanced at Rarity before skimming tonight's copy. It seemed Rarity showed up earlier and earlier for each broadcast, which Fluttershy felt was odd as she was always so busy at the boutique. And very oddly, Rarity usually just stared at Fluttershy as the Pegasus read her copy.

"Our top story, Pony Vale's town council is still reeling from Mayor Mare's decision to come out of the cocoon as a changeling. Mayor Mare has stated that this should not be expected to have an impact on her policies and decisions, except that she intends to stop campaigning so hard to deny changelings their basic rights. Pony Vale's concerned citizens have expressed outrage both to the Free Foal Press's editor and to Pony Vale's Public Radio. To quote a letter to the Pony Vale editor, 'So now the Mayor that wouldn't shut up about how the changelings will ruin Ponyville admitted she is one? Just great: That's all every comedian in Ponyville is going to be talking about for the next three months! Especially all the amateurs!' More on this situation as it develops." Fluttershy moved on to the next item, one she was much more excited to talk about.

"Pony Vale newcomer Twilight Sparkle called a conference of Pony Vale's town council and the magical community to announce her compelling new findings. Early magic tests have detected a tremendous amount of unicorn power hundreds of hooves below the surface all of a type from a single unicorn. This combined with certain seismic activity indicates there is a gigantic, unfathomably powerful unicorn beneath our hooves digging its way to the surface. When questioned, attendees admitted it was hard to discuss anything in Twilight Sparkle's announcement because everypony was still abuzz about Mayor Mare confession that she's a changeling and making jokes about how ironic it is that Mayor Mare used to be anti-changeling. More updates as they occur." A gleam entered Fluttershy's eyes then as she moved on to the important part.

"In a related story, Twilight Sparkle has a new manecut! Her fluffy, curly locks that some speculated were the result of a perm have been replaced with a simple and straight yet luscious style with clearly-defined bands of color running from the top of her bright, flawless forehead to her shapely shoulders. Analysts from Pony Vale University have thus updated her appearance status from 'cute and pretty" to "Dreamy and Captivating, Sigh.' Hopefully more on this situation soon." In her enthusiasm to continue discussing the town's newcomer, Fluttershy looked over at Rarity and turned on her guest's microphone. "Don't you think so too, Rarity?" Rarity had been sulking a little in jealousy at the unicorn newcomer. She made a thoughtful looking kind of face as she perked at the thought of bashing a rival's appearance.

"Well, the new hair's an improvement, surely, but I'd give her a 7.5 out of ten. And, if I may, she's hardly the most fascinating pony in Ponyville." Fluttershy glared at Rarity for a moment in response to that.

"It has just come to my attention that Rarity's 'Fashion Sixth Sense' segment will have to be cancelled for today. And that Rarity needs to lose a few pounds. Moving on, a public service announcement." Fluttershy's unicorn intern brought over the public service announcement.

"It's too late." She read. "It was always too late. There's no running, no hiding, no delaying There is only attempting to accept, for it will be far beyond your feeble mind to comprehend. And by the way, did you hear the mayor turned out to be a changeling? And after she campaigned against changeling rights for so long! Some ponies... This message brought to you by Sweet Apple Acres."

"For our traffic report, the Canterlot Human Research Department has been denied permission to experiment with fusing horns and wings to human test subjects to increase efficiency. On top of violating Equestria's anti-cruelty-to- animals laws, our beloved Princess decreed that giving humans horns and wings would make them much too likely to attempt a slave rebellion. To quote a statement released by Princess Celestia, 'I mean, really.' Representatives of the CHRD have stated that they don't intend to abandon the project, and instead will ask Princess Luna's shadow government for aid. They also brought up that thing about how the Mayor has revealed she's a changeling, even though she campaigned so hard against Changeling rights, and began joking about the irony. That concludes our traffic report. We now go live to the weather report with Rainbow Dash. Rainbow?" Fluttershy switched over to Rainbow Dash's feed.

"I can tell you this," Dash said, "If those nags over at the post office don't get their act together, I'm gonna leave rain clouds over them until winter! Three lost packages is too darn many! And hey, did you hear that the mayor turned out to be a changeling? Isn't that weird? After she kept going on about how the Changelings shouldn't have rights! Ha! Back to you, Fluttershy." Fluttershy pushed the feed back to her microphone.

"During our weather report, Rarity... made a good case that it would be cruel and unfair to cancel her segment." Fluttershy said, her heart warming from the sight of Rarity's brightening eyes after minutes of looking at her unicorn friend looking so very sad. "So here's Rarity's Fashion Sixth Sense."

"Thank you EVER so much, Fluttershy Darling! You know it's the highlight of my week to be able to speak to the good ponies of Pony Vale with you alone in this radio station! I- Oh, yes." Rarity cleared her throat to begin her coverage, her horn aglow. "Roseluck, that ribbon is so last fall: let's get with the times, shall we? Mrs. Cake, those earrings... a little tacky, I dare say. Something subtler is called for. Maybe silver: you are a Summer pony after all. Let's see, who else... SWEETIE BELLE! STOP PLAYING DRESSUP WITH THAT BUTTON MASH RIGHT NOW! HE HAS NO SENSE OF STYLE! WHY THAT RIDICULOUS BEANIE IS FAR OUT OF SEASON! Also, did you hear that Mayor Mare has admitted she's actually a changeling! And after she spent all that time campaigning against changeling rights! Ha ha ha. how droll. And that concludes this week's report. Back to you Fluttershy." While Rarity gave her report, a special bulletin had been brought in for Fluttershy by one of the interns.

"Uhm, thank you. Our final news item of the night: Everypony will be present at City Hall by 7:30 pm for an emergency memory erasure. It seems that our princesses have become annoyed with Pony Vale's involuntary inability to talk about anything except the mayor's scandal and has decided the only way to get anyone to pay attention to the possible giant subterranean unicorn is to erase all memory of the scandal. As always, the Pony Vale Police have ended the statement with a message 'don't make us come looking for you." Fluttershy stopped reading the copy and sighed wistfully.

"So I'd urge everypony now to cherish the memories you have while you still can. Every moment has some beauty in it if you only look at it from the right way. The ugliest, darkest parts of our lives have a beauty to them because they shape who we are and give our lives balance and contrast. They shape who you are, and no matter what you think of yourself, there's goodness and beauty in you if you make the effort to embrace and act upon it. Also, please don't go do bad things just because" Rarity sighed at the sound of Fluttershy's waxing philosophical, resting her left cheeks on her forehooves while she stared at the host.

"That's all for Welcome to Pony Vale this evening. Stay tuned for Derpy Hooves's Applied Quantum Mechanics Hour. Good night, listeners, see you at 7:30."

Author's Note:

Please support the writing of more of these stories by voting up my Jukepop Serials novel Please, God for free! Also please upvote each chapter of Please, God at no financial cost to you! Thank you very much.

Comments

[Peridork]

'don't make us coming looking for you."

Shouldn't that be "Don't make us us come looking for you?" Other than that. This was great. Hope to see more of this.

[ColdGoldLazarus]

I'm loving this, and loving the TwiShy. Also, the giant subterranean Unicorn, and the annoying, funny, and annoyingly funny Mayor's scandal.

[Taliesin of the Forest]

The real question.

Who gets to play the neighbourhood friendly mega-corporation Strexcorp

[blazikenking]

3919505 And just what will be the name of the Desert Bluffs equivalent?

[Taliesin of the Forest]

4190966 WHY IS THERE NOT MORE OF THIS BY NOW!

[Gigh]

I'm surprised that Fluttershy isn't Old Woman Josie, but to late now.

Hiram. Mcdaniels will be interesting if he does show up. Or rather not interesting, because that seems relatively normal for equestria.

[Distaff Pope]

4191004 Well, I mean, if you really want a WTPV fix, I wrote a different Welcome to Night Vale crossover. Actually, I didn't even know this story existed when I started the project, and am hoping the author is okay with an upstart sharing a name with his story.