Wow, just wow. Okay now THAT twist in the end is gonna pick at me for days. Great Job! I loved this, you really got the mood in the story.

Dat ending! I really enjoyed this story and I'm kinda sad that it is over. Also you coould definitely make a sequel.

you sir have written an awsome horror story thats well done and delivers the feelings perfectly, and for that i award you a mustache

Now that I've read it all... I can't say I feel "complete" like I usually do after a great story. A good read, but the opening and second chapter drew me in and set the standard, though everything after that was good, it wasn't what I was expecting. It did give me a good scare, and connecting the events that happened to Applejack and Rainbow to what the story of what happened in the past was a real treat, but like I said, it didn't follow up what the first chapters delivered.

Summarized: Great story, just not quite there. Any author should take note that the prologue or the first chapter(s) usually contains the stuff that will follow throughout the entire story, or at least the current act/season in the case of a longer story. Not a set rule, but it really helps.

Hope you take this to heart, and not feel offended.

3654398 I appreciate the constructive criticism. And while I'm not entirely sure I share your opinion, I am thankful you are being courteous about it.

I totally see the tie in now with a little piece of heaven, and the ending for chapter 9 just left me mouth open staring at my screen. You are one clever bastard

This story is told from the wrong point of view. It would have been interesting to start the story at the point that Spring's relationship to her husband started to slowly fall apart, and when she first met Silver. It would end with the murder and how it affected all of Ponyville's residents. I felt like this after I finished reading this story, .

I'm sorry if it seems like I'm bashing this story, but the writing took a big leap in quality during the flashbacks. There were good moments in the rest of it, but on the whole the flashbacks were better. The author really had something when telling us about Spring's life, it's just a shame that it's not the focus of the story.

I know that what I'm essentially saying is to rewrite the story, but I know that I have no grounds for saying that. It just really makes me sad to see such potential for a great story be wasted like this. I never really got immersed into what Rainbow Dash and the others were doing, but I did when reading the parts about Spring.

One weird thing that bothered me is, why are the characters sighing so much? After almost every line of dialogue, the characters would sigh, why?

If this comment comes across as arrogant, I'm sorry. It just seems to me that the horror/mystery approach to this story is the wrong one. It should've ended with the effects of Spring's murder on everypony and the cover up afterwards. It would be a 'rhetorical cliffhanger' of sorts. Sad stories do it all the time on here and it works. This is my review of this story and sorry if I upset anyone with it, but I'm passionate about good writing.

4342927 Your opinion is your opinion, and I thank you for the constructive criticism. But I definitely feel like you're saying the story is poorly written, when I've gotten many good reviews. I also believe the like/dislike ratio for this story speaks for itself. I'd appreciate it if you'd stop speaking of your opinion as if it was a fact.

I also believe that the "Sigh" complaint is unfounded. I just sped through the first few chapters and there is one, two, maybe three "sighs" per chapter.

My goal with this story was to focus on Rainbow Dash, Twilight and Applejack, and how it affected them all as they unraveled this mystery. You are completely entitled to your opinion that the horror/mystery approach was the wrong one to take, but myself and almost everyone else who has read the story would disagree with you. But again, I thank you for sharing your views.

5363190

Old ass comment you be replying to...

True enough, in any case, but you want to have that irresistible hook to it. You want people to go "Ok, I wanna know more..." and this... This sadly didn't have it in my eyes.

~Skeeter The Lurker

Hello there bronies and pegasisters,

I am here today to review "The House". Here is the point now... I can´t do it. I really liked it in the beginning and djingledjango really got me interested in this, but totally blew it after chapter 3 in my opinion.
Looking trough my notes now i cant do this without sounding like a complete jerk. This story isn´t actually bad so I would want to evade being a jerk.
If the author is interested I will do a full review(like i did with "Archmage" and "Moonstone" from Loyal). but for now I will leave this story without a verdict.

NightmareShredder

5363303

I know what you mean but as a hobby critic I try to form my opinions after reading the whole thing. It just doesn´t feel right for me when a promising story is rated right from the beginning.

NightmareShredder

5365626

Constructive criticism is welcome. :)

Okay i loved the story and everything but what about that epilogue you promised at the end?