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The First Out of the Nest

Source

Scootaloo is doing the same thing she tries-and fails-to do every day.
She lies on the verge of giving up completely, yet sees something that encourages her to push on.

Chapters (1)

Comments ( 8 )

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Dusty Sage

Dusty Sage #1 · Aug 4th, 2013 · · ·

Nicely done. (A couple of typos here and there, easily fixable.) I did like Scoot's brief bit of "How dare you!" rage, and how quickly she had to backpedal from it. I just wish she hadn't trotted out that old "chicken" line.

KingPrisman1995

KingPrisman1995 #2 · Aug 4th, 2013 · · ·

2988216 Thanks! I really needed the confidence boost.javascript:smilie(''); Maybe I should find a proofreader, thoughjavascript:smilie('');

Penguin_Lord

Penguin_Lord #3 · Aug 4th, 2013 · 1 · ·

Nice story loved the parallel image with scoots being a baby bird yet to fly.

KingPrisman1995

KingPrisman1995 #4 · Aug 4th, 2013 · · ·

2991467 Thanks!javascript:smilie('');

Prane

Prane #5 · Aug 5th, 2013 · · ·

First story, eh? Grats on not making it a wall of text, but with proper spacing and indentations - good job! Sadly, the majority of new authors tend to forget about that.

Basically, it's a sweet little story about Scoots and flying issues - and nothing groundbreaking, to be honest. But it's well done nevertheless, so go out there and write some more stories! You've got green light on that, mate. And the ending actually made me smile!

KingPrisman1995

KingPrisman1995 #6 · Aug 5th, 2013 · 1 · ·

2994110 Thank you for that, javascript:smilie(''); you have no idea how confident that makes me feel about my writing!javascript:smilie('');

Sir Barton

Sir Barton #7 · Aug 7th, 2013 · · ·

Very nice simple and morally inspiring for a first piece. I agree with 2988216 on the formatting and typos. But its nothing that a proof read and format check before hitting the submit button wouldn't fix. Have a for a good start.

Blast

Blast #8 · Aug 22nd, 2017 · · ·

She needs to look for other sources of inspiration and not rush things. After all, she did manage to soar above ground once, simply by not thinking anything about it.