• Member Since 2nd Aug, 2013
  • offline last seen Jan 12th, 2014

KingPrisman1995


E
Source

Scootaloo is doing the same thing she tries-and fails-to do every day.
She lies on the verge of giving up completely, yet sees something that encourages her to push on.

Chapters (1)
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Comments ( 8 )

Nicely done. (A couple of typos here and there, easily fixable.) I did like Scoot's brief bit of "How dare you!" rage, and how quickly she had to backpedal from it. I just wish she hadn't trotted out that old "chicken" line.

2988216 Thanks! I really needed the confidence boost.javascript:smilie(':twilightsmile:'); Maybe I should find a proofreader, thoughjavascript:smilie(':derpytongue2:');

Nice story loved the parallel image with scoots being a baby bird yet to fly.

2991467 Thanks!javascript:smilie(':pinkiehappy:');

First story, eh? Grats on not making it a wall of text, but with proper spacing and indentations - good job! Sadly, the majority of new authors tend to forget about that.

Basically, it's a sweet little story about Scoots and flying issues - and nothing groundbreaking, to be honest. But it's well done nevertheless, so go out there and write some more stories! You've got green light on that, mate. And the ending actually made me smile!

2994110 Thank you for that, javascript:smilie(':pinkiesmile:'); you have no idea how confident that makes me feel about my writing!javascript:smilie(':twilightsmile:');

Very nice simple and morally inspiring for a first piece. I agree with 2988216 on the formatting and typos. But its nothing that a proof read and format check before hitting the submit button wouldn't fix. Have a :scootangel: for a good start.

She needs to look for other sources of inspiration and not rush things. After all, she did manage to soar above ground once, simply by not thinking anything about it.

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