• Member Since 2nd Aug, 2013
  • offline last seen Jan 12th, 2014

KingPrisman1995


T
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Pinkie Pie: The happiest pony in Equestria. Always smiling.
More friends than anypony can imagine. But nopony really knows her,
and her secrets can't be kept forever.

But if she keeps on smiling, everything will be okay.

Right?

Chapters (3)
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Comments ( 59 )

Seems interesting.:duck: I think I will follow. :pinkiesmile:

so sad, but good. I'll be following this one.

This is so cool! I really want to read more, please? I mean, you can't say no to... this face!:raritystarry:

I like the idea, but you lose the impact of the emotion by being too vague.

Sure she had friends, but none of them were ever really close. She might as well not have any friends at all.

This is the core of Pinkie Pie's being--her connection with her friends. I have resonated with Pinkie Pie in nearly every aspect of her personality. (the only thing we don't share other than me not being a magical talking horse and not female, is her incredible memory) you need to delve deeper into what it is that is so fake with her friends. Take specifics, make logical arguments. You need to really sell it, that she has truly figured out that she has nothing left. It will hit much harder if you do.

Great story, you're really creative! :rainbowkiss:

I noticed a grammar mistake in this sentence though:

"A beautiful dim light shone across a slumbering Ponyville, allowing all who were awake to see it’s elegant glory."

it's should be its.

But besides that, excellent! :pinkiehappy: :pinkiehappy:

*likes*

3004624 Nuts, that's what I get for editing while half asleep :facehoof:.

Told ya it was good :pinkiehappy:

3004936
Every time you do that, a baby cries.

Why so short? I want more!

Hmm...

I hate sad stories like this, but... I can't stop reading them :fluttercry:

Anyway, MOAR :pinkiehappy:

Hi I'm new...how do you read the stories..? Do you download them??

3006021 Well, there should be a link to each chapter of a story right under the story's description :twilightsmile:

3006043 It's the green text, it reads the chapter title.
In this case, it's named 'time to rest'

You should continue it...i wanna know why she was sick of herself.... Otherwise, it was AWESOME!!!

This is a good start. But 3004499 is right, we need more depth. I totally buy that Pinkie could become a really depressed pony, even with all of her friends, but you need to expand. Especially if everypony thinks that everything's fine and she's as good as ever. Certainly Twilight thinks she knows pinkie, and Fluttershy, etc. And if the reveal is that they don't, because she's hiding things (or hiding her sadness), that's cool too. :twilightsheepish:

In other words, Moar, but Moar detail.

.... but yes, a very good start. :yay:

Cautious Optimism.... here we go again.

thank you thank you thank u :pinkiehappy: u need no have to continue or i will go crazy:pinkiecrazy::pinkiecrazy:

3004624 I think that it's not a mistake, are you sure? I don't see any evidence of it being wrong. Just so you know, in case you didn't;

the apostrophe is used in which to define ownership of a specific person or thing. This author is claiming that it belongs to the light, example;

The light's warmth.

Understand? Unless i'm missing something, then I don't think it is a mistake. :twilightsmile:

This story is great, but it needs more detail. I enjoyed it! Moustache. :moustache:

3009956

While I'm not that skilled at grammar myself, I pretty sure "its" is the right way to word it. "It's" stands for "it is" or "it has" so saying "to see it is elegant glory" or "to see it has elegant glory" doesn't make sense.

3010236 It's also can mean ownership, like I said before. I'll explain for you, but i'm not much of an expert at it either. Learnt it in fifth grade, ages ago.

It's can mean one person or thing; the bird's house.

Or, if it's multiple things at once; the birds' house, saying as in a group.
I'm bad at explaining, but it's the best I can do. :twistnerd:

3010606 For ownership the proper form is its with no apostrophe. :eeyup:

Interesting. Looks like it has some great potential. Eager for the next update!:twilightsmile:

3011025 ...I don't get it. :derpytongue2:

If your an expert, please teach me dear master. :twilightblush:

3015130 The difference is:

- one is a contraction of two words, it is -> it's, with the apostrophe used to denote the missing letters and space. [It is going to rain. -> It's going to rain.]

- the other is a single word possessive pronoun used to denote ownership, its, just like the words his, and hers. [The dog ate its food.]

Confusing the two usages is a common mistake (and I thank my editor every time they point it out to me) because of the common association of the use of 's always denoting ownership. In this case there is an exception to that rule.

3015186 So... I'm right and I'm wrong? :applejackconfused:

3026469 Good to know I'm still doing my job. :ajsmug:

... Too many cupcakes I guess.

I'm loving this story!

3026586 dude, pinkie has depression:fluttercry:. severe depression by the looks of it:raritycry:. she couldnt continue on her current path without inflicting anguish upon herself. my gf is similar to pinkie in one way; she will do anything to make everypony happy. . . they slowly worsen their condition just to make somepony else happy. it seems like they torture themselves, and they just cant stop, either:fluttershysad:. . .

Okay so still reading? Still enjoying. But.

I feel like most of their reactions seem over the top without more information. Namely, all Dash knows is that she's collapsed and in the hospital, and that's all every pony knows. Fluttershy might collapse at that, but I'd like to think Rarity, Twilight and Dash would be stronger, at least until the bomb drops at the end. If the doctor had said she has like three months to live, I get it. And I get pound and pumpkin's reaction, since their kids and they see her go over.

I'd suggest either pulling back or letting us in on some backstory, like Pinkie has collapsed before or has been sick lately. The danger is you leave nowhere else for the ponies to go emotionally if they're already so upset BEFORE they find te sad news.

3027797 Point taken,
guess I kinda jumped the gun on that one.

Right in the feels, man. Right in the feels...

I had a feeling it was that hope she survives.

That's OOOONNEE bad panic attack. :eeyup:

I really don't comprehend this sentence:

I have concluded to inform you to immediately.

Okay, I think I understand it, but it's just a hair out of kilter, and it's not just because it's Celestia trying to sound sort of official.

That minor matter aside, it's good to see this story going again.

Short chapter, but better than nothing. MOAR! :flutterrage:

Comment posted by Luxina deleted Nov 5th, 2016
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