*Update*
I'm really sorry about this, but, WIAS is going to be postponed... again. Maybe a week, probably less. Life's just overwhelming, and people are sucking. Let's see if I can't get a life again.
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Its ok.....shit happens.......people i know fuck up all the time
Okay. Now, a little diclaimer: anything I say is my personal opinion and isn't meant to offend your skills as a writer. It should be taken merely within my rather poor writing expertise.
I've read your story, and I can't say that I, personally, am satisfied with it. Please don't get me wrong: I love OctaScratch, and I don't mind POV shifts and the like. I also don't mind short chapters. What I do mind, however, is that I am yet to find a truly original idea. Throughout the fic, I've felt as if I were reading an abriged version of Allegrezza, mixed up with some of the OctaScratches I've read. It is entertaining, and cute, and you aren't rushing the pacing most of the time, and you are doing the time skips correctly. Still, I have been reading with a view to originality, which is one of the terrible traits of mine. I know that the story's still young, and it has potential, and this is why I faved it (and even put a like, because, well, I did like it; I also have a policy of liking things that I fave), but I beg you to consider to fresh up your writing a bit. Pre-reading usually helps: not editing, but just sending your fic to readers and maybe other writers who work in the same genre to give you advice on plot points and the way you present your chapters.
Again, let me repeat that: it doesn't mean that it's bad. Just, let me give you a comparison: John Grisham and David Baldacci. I love reading Grisham because he is original in what he writes. It captures your attention at once, grabs it by originality. Baldacci's work, however, is good, but seems to me bland and very standard. It's not bad, just... not my cup of tea.
~Josh
Hey guys! Guess what?!?!?! I'm starting this story again (hopefully). It will be a little different as my life is VERY as in <i><b>VERY</i></b> different so that will probably affect my story... I might restart it so that my writing style doesn't seem to abruptly change. I'm sorry to those folk that waited soooooooo long for an update, but, school and girlfriend and stress and stuff have made my ponies a little difficult to focus on. Plus I lost all of the data for the next chapter a while a go. If you want info I'll post a blog but it's not very important.
3429268 I really appreciate your viewing and constructive critique. It's been a while since I updated, and I wasn't particularly satisfied either. Who'd you suggest for pre-reading?
3432280
Well, I could definitely pre-read the fic, if you want me to. And for editing, I could suggest Syvvak (ask him in a PM, and tell him I recommended his wonderful services. He has a lot on his plate, but I guess he can make time for your fic.) I've had many editors, but he is simply the best of the best.
3433069 Well on the pre-read, I'm now working on a new chapter, don't worry, it'll be a while (aka like a week). I'll ask, and I'll be sure to mention you in the request.
3433069
And I don't have a lot on my plate, I just can't ever get around to it. I am very easily distracted. Especially by music.
Awww, I blush.
I'm doing my edit posts (courtesy of Syvvak) and I saw the beginning... If you get the reference, I must applaud you.