Pokemon: The Equestria Region

by Probably Terrible

Your Rival, Trixie Lulamoon

Arceus sat down staring out at the starry night sky. He let out a chuckle. "Foolish ponies. Dumb enough to comply easily and quickly. That should make it that much easier to fall under MY control." He said. He grinned wildly as he watched a Voltorb explode somewhere off in the distance.

---

Twilight was trotting down to the Castle of the Two Sisters, in search of more information on this. There had to be something somewhere. She crossed the bridge, Spike riding along on her back, with Natu perched atop his head.

"Twilight Sparkle! There you are!" A voice suddenly cried out.

Twilight whipped around in confusion, spinning so fast that her tail went forward to hit her in the face. "Trixie?" She said with a gasp.

"The Great and Powerful Trixie." She corrected.

Twilight merely rolled her eyes. "So, what is it? Here to drive me out of Ponyville once again?" Twilight said, obviously impatient.

"No, Sparkle. I challenge you to a pokemon battle!" Trixie cried. (ahem, The Great and Powerful Trixie, excuse me)

"A... What?" Twilight said, squinting at her confusedly.

"You are so dumb, Twilight Sparkle. A Pokemon! You know, like the thing on top of Spike's head!" Trixie said, pointing to the Natu on Spike's head.

"Oh. So that's what these adorable little things are called!" Twilight said. "But how would you battle with them?" She said.

"Honestly, Twilight? Just let him do the work." Trixie sighed.

"Oh. Go ahead, Natu." Twilight mumbled.

Trixie sent out a small gray cat-like Pokemon with folded ears. It had wide pink eyes with blue pupils. "Espurr!" It cried.

Twilight's Natu charged at the Pokemon with a pecking attack. It jabbed the Espurr with it's beak several times. The Espurr unfolded it's ears and blasted the Natu with a small beam of energy. It sent it flying backwards and into a tree. The Natu was confused for a moment, but then got up and ran back. It pecked the Espurr again. The Espurr tackled it this time, which did little. The Natu gathered all of its strength and pecked with extreme ferocity. The Espurr mustered one last tackle, and collapsed a moment after.

"H-how dare you!" Trixie shouted, enraged. "You were supposed to lose!"

"You can't always win, Trixie." Twilight said simply.

"I might lose now but I'm going to become the BEST Pokemon trainer!" She yelled. "Just you wait!" With that, she galloped off.

Twilight shook her head and started home.

Author's Note:

Kind of a short chapter, but I covered what I wanted to in it so I'm just gonna end it at that.

Comments

[Mooncalf]

Very rushed story. Could do with much more careful pacing and setup. As is, it goes past far too quickly to really make the readers care.

Also, you wasted two perfect opportunities with the first fight; setting up the Gary/Ash-type rivalry between Trixie and Twilight, and establishing duel mechanics. Seeing as how Trixie seems to have a good idea of how to handle pokemon - as she's already caught hers in a ball - while Twilight is a complete beginner, thus reflecting how Ash is clueless at the very beginning while Gary has actual training. (Not to mention that Gary has the same smug superiority as Trixie has here.)

You could have Twilight expecting Natu to fight on its own, only to have Trixie chide her and point out that she has to give her pokemon actual instructions. Also, given (again) that Trixie seems to know how to do this while Twilight doesn't, Trixie should win this first fight - it would give their rivalry a stronger grounding, and motivate Twilight to take her new job as a trainer seriously. As things are here, Twilight just wins without doing anything herself, rendering the whole scene pointless.

Still, I'll follow this in case it improves.

[KyleeTheShinyStealer]

The story feels too rushed. I think you should go in to more detail on some things and split the events of the chapters in to deprecate chapters.

Also, evil Arceus is evil.