When Celestia messes up a spell big time, a new species of creatures appears in Equestria, along with these odd red and white balls. They seem to repeat their name over and over, and might turn everything upside down, and cause chaos for all.
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My Little Pony: Friendship is Magic Fanfiction
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2885542 Thanks!
I'm glad you like it! I'm about to start writing the second chapter now 
Yay!! I can't wait!!
Well, we know what Celestia did. But what was she trying to do?
This... is just rushed to all hell.
Things happened way too fast for my tastes.
3194088 I know, I tend to do that... A lot.
Man, when did this story exist? I can't wait until one of them evolves and they mess up the new name.
Very rushed story. Could do with much more careful pacing and setup. As is, it goes past far too quickly to really make the readers care.
Also, you wasted two perfect opportunities with the first fight; setting up the Gary/Ash-type rivalry between Trixie and Twilight, and establishing duel mechanics. Seeing as how Trixie seems to have a good idea of how to handle pokemon - as she's already caught hers in a ball - while Twilight is a complete beginner, thus reflecting how Ash is clueless at the very beginning while Gary has actual training. (Not to mention that Gary has the same smug superiority as Trixie has here.)
You could have Twilight expecting Natu to fight on its own, only to have Trixie chide her and point out that she has to give her pokemon actual instructions. Also, given (again) that Trixie seems to know how to do this while Twilight doesn't, Trixie should win this first fight - it would give their rivalry a stronger grounding, and motivate Twilight to take her new job as a trainer seriously. As things are here, Twilight just wins without doing anything herself, rendering the whole scene pointless.
Still, I'll follow this in case it improves.
The story feels too rushed. I think you should go in to more detail on some things and split the events of the chapters in to deprecate chapters.
Also, evil Arceus is evil.