This fanfic is basically random adventures with the Spongebob and My Little Pony crew. Please enjoy, and if you have any Spongebob episodes you want me to do feel free to let me know in the comments below.
Chapters (11)
- Member Since 10th Jun, 2012
- offline last seen Jan 8th, 2022
Ultimauser50
Me just being me, havin' fun, livin' life. The usual.
Ultimauser50
Joined 10th Jun, 2012 ·
Offline
Sequels1
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Ultimauser50 · 15k words · 12 1 · 1.3k views
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hmmm
1772404 Please be productive, you are only spamming.
On a scale of one to Nicolas Cage, I rate this pickle juice
1772408
says the guy who goes around posting something just as random at times
In other news: Ow, my brain hurts at the mere thought of this kind of cross over
1772404
1772408 Bitch, please, that's my job, and you never say that to me.
1772424 But I never just go HHMMMMM or post an emoticon like an idiot. I actually am relevant.
funny thing, i've been doing the same thing:
http://forevergent.deviantart.com/art/The-Camppony-Episode-298262103
now i'm on hiatus and writer's block, trying to write the episode about the bad breath.
1772453
you make a fair point
1772453 well if i annoyed ya sorry.
1772494 It's spam, man. You're just trying to beat me.
1772515 no offence man but i dont really care about beating someone at being first.
1772529 Sure...
1772535
1772443
STAHP.
I'll check this out..
1772650
You've been eating too much Spam. :L
You simply MUST do the episode with those snail bite things, that gary went crazy over. PLEASE?????
Also...this...not sure what to say...I like it. I mean...I got nothin against talking sponges...it's just...random...I LOVE IT!!!!
YES YES! I KNEW SOMEONE WOULD THIS EVENTUALLY!:)
THANKS SO MUCH!
Do the Alaskan Bull-worm episode
1772726 Gridmark? All that happened was Gary made spongebob travel the entire sea looking for a box of treats before he finally learned to tell him no....
You forgot an opening bracket on the closing "" in one of Squidward's thingamajigs, and the boldness just kept going on, and on, and on, and on, and on... <twelve hours later> ... and on, and on, and on, and on, and on!
1772408*smiles evily*
Hmmmm
HA! FUCK THE COMMENT POLICE!!!
btw you have way to much bold. Go through and reread it.
1772798 O.O oh god...........
Great, except for excessive boldness.
Also, may I request Band Geeks?
Up vote just because the picture
Do the episode "chocolate with nuts" or "survival of the idiots"
My Little Pony and Spongebob.... AWESOME!
1772412 Thank you. I do take pride in Pickles and there juices.
1772457 Woah, really? Glad to know I'm not the only one who thinks this is a good idea. I shall read your episodes and enjoy them, if you don't mind good sir.
1773553
it's a pity i can't upload them on this site because they're in script format.
1772408 Are you following me, sir?
1773583 I'm before you, so you seem to be following me...
1773567 Aww that sucks. But at least you gave the link. I shall now commence reading.
1772902 The problem is no more, thanks for the heads up bro/sis.
1773611
just to let you know, i was inspired by this guy. here's one of his three stories:
http://dragon-guy36.deviantart.com/art/Dying-for-Pinkie-Pie-279038577
1772884 Problem has been fixed, sorry for the inconveniance.
>Sees up-votes
>Sees description
All right, so this is where my random read front-page story has brought me. Let's take a looks see...
Reading.... Reading... Reading...
Analysing...
Final response:
i48.tinypic.com/14me1qq.png
Ok, so you seem to have a grasp on English, basic grammar, and the idea that a new line makes a new speaker. Good good. However... there are some problems. Let's take a look at some of the things I'd suggest you take a look over.
Why is there a youtube video smack-dab in the middle of the fic? Really, I want to know. Was it because the song is in there? Doesn't seem like a very good reason to me, but that could be just me.
1) How are the ponies in Bikini Bottom without any protective gear? I may not have watched Spongebob Squarepants in years, but I do know that there is a land-dwelling mammal in the show. Her name is Sandy, and she lives in a protective air bubble under the sea. In order for Spongebob to visit her he has to wear a Fish Bowl as a helmet filled with water to breathe. Inversely, if she's going to leave her home and visit Spongebob then she has to wear a helmet with air to breathe. Ponies are not aquatic animals, and they can't breathe underwater. However, this fic makes me think that they are there, in Squidward's back yard, without protective gear, and are perfectly fine. It is, well, not conforming to the rules set forth by either fandom. So ignoring the fact that we have three ponies who are for some reason outside of their home town, under the sea, friends with fishes, in another universe, for no explained reason, that's still a pretty big flaw to overlook.
2) Tense issues. You switch between past and present tense a lot. Pick one and stick with it, preferably past. Past tense is the most common tense used, so you should get used to using it.
3) 'Dialogue tags!' The confused reader cried in dismay. 'I can't tell who's speaking because there are no dialogue tags in places!' Protip: If characters are having a conversation, then you
probably shouldalways tell us who is speaking. Multiple lines of dialogue, especially when there are more than two characters in the scene, should always have something to tell us who's speaking when.4) I'm feeling so compressed, and so is this story. It's, what, three-thousand words long? Almost all of that is dialogue with little narration at all, and what little narration we have usually boils down to like one or two lines. Description is a powerful tool.
5) Is that a... it is.
6) Check your tags. Part-way through the fic you attempt to bold some text, and I can see the failed attempt at ending the bold. The result that the rest of the story from then onwards was in bold.
7) Were characters in character, or out of it? I'm not so familiar with the Spongebob Characters anymore, and I'm not entirely certain about the rest of the ponies. Though that's a good portion that there are a lot of times I'm not certain who's talking.
Over all, if serious, I'd suggest trying to fix this. Writing Spongebob episodes with Ponies seems a little... well weird when you come down to it. But if that's what you want to do I dig. Just try and keep in mind the uniqueness of both worlds when you're writing. If troll, well have a moustache:
Over all, thank you for allowing me to spend some time reading and commenting on your story. It was at least... interesting.
~HPL
1773723 'sall good.
1773591 Or that you're following me.
Do you understand the concept of time travel?
Of course yu don't, you're a moron.
Unless you're not.
Are you a moron?
Nah.
Someh
1773926
1774055 Well your avatar pic, looks really happy. Also....WHAT HAPPENED TO THE WEBSITE?!?!
well that was funny
1773854 Answer to #1: They can survive because magic.
Answer to #2: Easily fixable no big deal.
Answer to #3: The reason why there are no Dialogue tags there is because it's obvious on who's speaking, just watch the episode to know who said what, I put Dialogue tags on people who spoke differently from the episode.
Answer to #4: No description is needed because this isn't a story, it's random adventures including the MLP:FiM and SpongeBob Co. said so in the story description.
Answer to #5: Why use subtitles when I can simply use a video people can listen to? Just made more sense to me.
Answer to #6: Fixed.
Answer to #7: I tried to keep them as in character as possible, I guess I did an okay job, but I never said I was a pro. I'll get better as I go.
Now I have a question? Y U Mad at the vid?
1775591
I don't really think this is a good enough answer but whatever. Your fic your rules, I won't really lose any sleep over it.
I shouldn't have to watch supplementary material to find out who said what in a fan-fiction, I'm not familiar with Spongebob, I used to like the show as a kid but I stopped watching it and haven't watched any full episodes in a long time. Likewise there's going to be people who maybe do like spongebob and come to read your fic. What if they haven't seen that episode yet? Or perhaps can't remember who said what lines? It's just curtious ya dig?
I wasn't talking about the story description, I was talking about narration description in the story. Describe what they're doing, especially since we can't see them because, yanno, text and all that. And as I said above not everyone may have seen the episode or really remember it well so they can't mentally picture it all, especially when adding pastel ponies into the picture.
I'll answer these together so that I don't have to repeat myself. First off, I'm not really /mad/ at the vid, more exasperated and slightly annoyed and disappointed. Having a video smack-dab in the middle of your fic kind of breaks flow ya dig? I get the reasoning behind it, why write the lyrics out when people can just listen to it right? Well two reasons really, one is that by having a video in the middle of the fic it's jarring, breaks immersion, and almost holds hostage that part of the story for us as we have to click to listen to the song. If you want the song being able to be referenced, I'd suggest finding another place for it. I think the new update added an Author's Note section you could possibly put it in there, or you could at the very least put the video at the bottom so that it doesn't break flow within the fic.
All right, gonna take your word for it. And yes, you will get better as you go, I can totally dig that. Keep writing what you like man, just keep my thoughts in mind dig? Peace.
1775633 Whatever man, I gave you my answer, I can't nor will I please everyone. Sorry to disapoint.
1777649
...
.....
1777749 Don't cry little one, for your request shall be put forth! I promise you!
1777909 Uh-huh.
hm.
i have a idea,but it would be a long chapter.
the spongebob movie where plankton takes over
and if you dont want it and complain
LOOK AT HOW MANY SHITS I GIVE.