Twilight Sparkle and Spike sat cozily on a cushioned blue bench near one of their windows, looking out into the early Equestrian evening. The pitter patter of water hitting the roof resounded throughout the Ponyville library, a peaceful overture compared to the storm that raged outside. The only light shining out in the desolate village was from a lone street lamp on a nearby corner. The rest was shrouded by the rain and the Equestrian night.
Suddenly a vivid flash of lightning lit up the drenched town before darkness once again swallowed it up. A few seconds later, a deafening crackle erupted from the sky above, shattering the tranquil peace of the library and causing Spike to cover his ears in disapproval.
“Geez! When Rainbow said that there was going to be a downpour tonight, she wasn’t kidding!”
Twilight smiled as she placed a comforting hoof on Spike’s shoulder. “Oh Spike. She’s not one to usually kid about these things. According to her this is just the start of it! Apparently this storm is going to be continuing on for the next few days.”
“Really?” Spike asked, a tad bit of nervousness in his voice.
Twilight nodded. “Starting tonight and then continuing on for several days after that. With the droughts hitting the lowlands this summer, they need a substantial amount of rain to help the landscape recover.”
Twilight sighed as she turned and leapt down off of the bench. “And it’s about time too. This has to be the driest summer here in Ponyville since I’ve arrived. It’s getting to the point where everypony is being affected, especially the farmers.”
Spike turned to Twilight. “I know. Is Applejack okay? I’ve never seen her family more stressed out than they’ve been this summer.”
“I think so,” Twilight said as she walked into the middle of the library. The room was littered with books and novels she had been immersing herself in the entire day. “Their harvest has been blighted this year and she’s been a nervous wreck about her family’s condition over the last few weeks.”
Lighting up her horn and levitating a heavy dictionary into the air in front of her, Twilight continued. “I talked to Big Mac and Granny Smith a couple days ago and they both say that they’ve been through worse droughts than this one and should be able to pull through just fine. Luckily, their family is well established, and apparently their relatives out in Manehatten have been chipping in to make sure they’re getting through just fine.”
Spike nodded before chuckling. “Yeah, unless this flood outside decides to sweep Ponyville down into Saddle Lane Lake first. Seriously.” He looked back outside. “Are you sure the weather Pegasi in Cloudsdale have this storm under control? I just have a bad feeling that we’re going to wake up with the fish tomorrow morning!”
Twilight chuckled as she placed the dictionary back on a high shelf on the opposite end of the room. “Oh Spike, you worry too much. The weather teams in Cloudsdale have been planning this storm for a few weeks now and are supervising it even as we speak to make sure it doesn’t turn into a deranged cyclone. We’re going to be fine.” She chuckled. “In the meantime, I get to stay inside and read all the books I want!”
Spike face-palmed at that last remark. “Ugh. I should have known that would come up sooner or later!”
Twilight giggled. “Hey, seeing that we’re going to be cooped up in the library for the next couple of days, what else am I supposed to do?”
Spike crossed his arms and narrowed his eyes. “Uh, relax? Take a break from your studies? You know, stuff you don’t usually do? Try something new for a change! You’ve been reading all day!” He eyed Twilight. “Tell me, have you forgotten how to blink yet?”
Twilight turned to Spike, straining her eyes open a wide as possible to the point of ridiculousness. However she could only hold it for a few seconds before she started giggling over how outrageous her attempt at a joke was.
“Tsk tsk tsk.” Spike crossed his arms. “I warned you. I did warn you, but you just didn’t listen to me, did you.”
Both of them chuckled at their sibling rivalry, and then Twilight sighed, returning to her clean up.
“Believe me, Spike. It’s going to take a lot more than a few hours of reading before I become square eyed.”
Spike shook his head. “I don’t know Twilight. I still think you need a break. Try something new for a change! It could be an experiment!”
“Really, a storm is the best time for something new?” Twilight rolled her eyes as she turned back to her books. “Well then, until your certain little opportunity rolls through the front door, I’m going to continue getting ahead of my studies, if that’s fine with you.” She lit up her horn and grasped two novels with her magic, levitating the books into the air in front of her. Spike’s brow furrowed.
“Hey, want me to finish cleaning up the library for you? You must be exhausted.”
Twilight shook her head. “That’s okay Spike. You’ve been helping me and the others so much this summer; I think you deserve a little break. Just take it easy tonight buddy,” she suggested as she walked back to the shelves, carrying her novels with her.
Spike grinned and clasped his claws together. “Really? Well in that case, I’m going to get myself something to drink! Looking at all of this rain outside is making me thirsty!”
“Go ahead buddy!”
Spike looked back outside and was just about to leap down from the window bench when a vivid figure suddenly caught his keen eyes. Curious, he squinted, trying to decipher the shape hiding in the murky darkness. When he realized who was walking outside, his eyes widened.
“Holy guacamole! Is that Pinkie Pie out there?”
Twilight cocked her head curiously as she walked over to join her assistant by the window. “I doubt it Spike. This isn’t exactly a pleasant night to be out in.” She leapt up on the bench.
“I know that!” Spike stated. “But look!” Twilight looked where Spike was pointing. Walking outside near the street lamp was none other than the famous party diva herself, standing in the middle of the torrent with only her rainbow umbrella to protect herself from getting completely drenched. Twilight felt her jaw drop.
“Pinkie Pie!? What the hay is that crazy pony doing out there?” she asked with a mixture of concern and fear in her voice.
“You got me on that one! She looks miserable!” Spike replied, and he wasn’t kidding either. Pinkie was standing next to the lamppost, catching her breath. Apparently she had been running, probably anxious to get into the warmth and comforts of her bed back at Sugarcube Corner. In the torrential downpour, her flimsy umbrella had done little to protect the poor mare from the rain that kept pounding her in sideways, drenching her pink coat. Her mane, soaking wet, had lost all of its energetic vivacity, hanging straight along the side of her face.
Spike gulped. “Gee Twilight. Do you think she’ll be okay? Should we bring her inside?”
Before Twilight could answer, the storm finalized the decision for her. A powerful gust of wind suddenly rippled through Ponyville, sending waves rippling across the puddles on the waterlogged streets.
Unable to take the storm's pounding any longer, Pinkie's umbrella hat tore away from her head. It flew through the air before tumbling to the ground where it continued to roll across the empty street. Desperately, Pinkie chased off after it, but before she got far the poor mare tripped over her own hooves and fell forward into a nearby puddle next to the lamppost.
Twilight couldn’t watch anymore. Without a second thought she leapt down from the bench and ran over to the door. “Spike! Grab a blanket and some dry towels from upstairs and bring them down here!”
“Twilight...?”
“Just do it!” Twilight yelled, hushing the baby dragon who hurried upstairs. Twilight reached the front door and lit up her horn, concentrating her magic on the purple aurora that formed from the tip. With quick precision and timing, she lit up her horn and drew an aurora from it. She continued concentrating, growing the aurora out and around herself until she was surrounded by a large purple shield, big enough for two ponies.
After making sure that the shield was firm and set, she grasped the door with her magic and swung it open. She stepped out into the rain, her force field immediately bombarded by the assault. Seeing Pinkie Pie struggling to stand up in the puddle, Twilight hurried over to her friend.
“Pinkie!”
Pinkie turned her gaze. Despite the fact that she had tripped and was now soaked, she still managed to put on that oh-so familiar whimsical smile Twilight was so used to seeing.
“Hey Twilight! What are you doing out here? It’s raining you know!”
“You think?” Twilight asked as she reached her friend, making sure to position her force field so it was protecting both Pinkie and herself from the storm’s relentless onslaught. “What are you doing out here? Nopony should be outside in this weather!”
As Twilight gently coaxed her up, allowing her to use her own body as support, Pinkie explained. “I was at Rarity’s. She needed some help choosing colors for a new dress idea of hers!” she yelled over the rain.
Twilight was bewildered. “Couldn’t that have waited until later?” She looked down the street in the direction of Sugarcube Corner. Despite the light being emitted from her shield, she could barely make out the path ahead through the darkness and rain. “Come on, I’ll help you get home.”
Pinkie smiled. “Aw, thanks Twilight. You such a fantastic friend and AGGH!” Pinkie suddenly stumbled and fell forward. Twilight quickly caught her before she hit the ground.
“Are you okay?” Twilight asked. Her voice was tight with concern as she looked down at Pinkie’s forelegs. Even in the darkness of the Equestrian night, she could spot that one of them was twitching.
Pinkie grunted as Twilight helped her up again. “Eh...yeah.” Then she cringed and gritted her teeth as she felt a sharp stabbing pain in her hoof. “My hoof! It feels like its burning. The wind blew my umbrella hat away and I fell trying to catch it. I must have scraped it or something.”
Twilight felt a heavy lump form in the pit of her stomach as she looked back down the street. She could feel her force field beginning to waver. Sugarcube Corner wasn’t too far away, but if Pinkie really was hurt, the trek would take them longer than usual. She didn’t want to put them at risk in the storm.
Giving Pinkie much needed support, she slowly turned them so they were facing the library. Pinkie cocked her head curiously. “Twilight?” she asked chuckling. “That’s not the way to Sugarcube Corner, silly!”
“I know,” Twilight said as she directed the wounded mare towards the tree house. “But I’m not about to walk you to the other side of town in this weather, especially if there’s the chance that your leg is broken. I’ll need to look at it,”
“But Twilight, it’s really not that bad. Beside, you have a neat little force field thingy that can protect us from anything, right?”
At that very moment, a bolt of lightning came careening down from the sky above, striking the nearby lamp post that Pinkie was standing under just a couple minutes earlier. Both mares screamed and looked behind them. The street lamp had been split in two.
Pinkie gulped and stuttered.. “Twilight? Can this shield protect us from lightn--”
“No it can’t! Inside!” Twilight yelled as a great clap of thunder shook her ear drums.
A limping pink blur, Pinkie zipped into the library, not even bothering with the protection of Twilight’s force field. Twilight soon followed, closing the door behind her with her magic and dropping what was left of her shield. Pinkie was on the floor, no doubt exhausted from giving her bad hoof a work out.
As Twilight walked over to Pinkie, Spike returned downstairs, his head hidden behind a tall pile of dry towels and a soft, warm blanket.
“Are you two okay?” He asked as he dropped the load on the couch, taking time to lay down one of the towels out flat on the couch to protect the fabric “I saw the lightning bolt from upstairs! That was a close one!”
“Too close,” Twilight stated as she walked her over to the couch. Giving her support, she helped Pinkie climb up on the couch, making sure she was positioned on top of the towel. “I’m just glad we’re out of that mess.”
Pinkie grinned. “You said it! And thanks for pulling me out of that storm! I thought I was going to get swept away if I stayed out there any longer!”
“Well you’re safe now. And on top of that I--” Twilight stopped when something on the floor caught her eye. It was a red stain, several of them actually. And they were fresh. Considering Pinkie’s tumble just a minute ago, she knew it could only be one thing.
“Pinkie--” She saw that the earth pony had wrapped up one of her hooves up in a towel, concealing it from Twilight’s gaze. Despite the dark lavender color of the towels, Twilight could see them becoming stained from the inside.
“Pinkie Pie. Can I please see your hoof?” Twilight asked with a hefty amount of concern in her voice.
Pinkie’s face dropped and she squeezed the towel tighter around her hoof as if she were trying to conceal it more. “It’s not that bad Twilight, really! Don’t worry about me.”
“Pinkie come on. I can see it bleeding even with it hidden from my eyes. It’s not a simple injury and it needs to be taken care of. ” She placed a comforting hoof on Pinkie’s own. “I want to help you.”
Pinkie sighed, but obliged. Cringing as she removed the towel, she revealed it to the open light of the library. Twilight’s eyes widened in horror. Pinkie’s hoof was cracked open, blood flowing out of the hideous open wound like a creak in the Everfree.
“Pinkie Pie! This is going to get infected if you leave it like this!” She covered it up again, the dry cloth causing Pinkie to grit her teeth in pain as it made contact with the open wound. “Keep it covered. I’ll be right back, got it?”
“Okay” was all that Pinkie managed to mutter as she cradled her hoof. Satisfied, Twilight walked over to her personal desk and levitated out a medical kit from the lower cupboard on the left side. She gently kicked the door closed and walked back to Pinkie with the kit in tow.
“Spike,” Twilight called. “Could you please get me a wet washcloth?”
“Sure thing, Twilight,” Spike replied before hurrying away.
Twilight placed the kit down on the coffee table in front of the couch, opening it up and pulling out a bandage wrap. As she did, Pinkie watched her with worry in her face.
“You don’t need to do this you know. It’ll get better on its own." Pinkie pleaded, hating to see one of her friends go through so much trouble to help.
“Pinkie, you cannot leave an injury like that unattended!” She turned back to Pinkie and gently grabbed her hoof, moving the towel off of the bleeding appendage. “Yes, the bleeding will stop, but if it gets infected with bacteria, it could spread through your entire leg. No, we have to tend to it now.”
“Okay. ” Pinkie replied as she finally succumbed to Twilight’s demands. Spike returned with a wet cloth. Thanking him, Twilight levitated it out of his claws and turned her attention to Pinkie.
“Do you need any more help from me Twilight?” Spike asked, grimacing as he saw Pinkie’s mangled hoof.
“No, I think I have everything I need. Thank you though.”
Satisfied, Spike took his leave. Twilight gripped the washcloth in her magic and placed it on Pinkie’s hoof as she started to clean the wound. Pinkie squirmed as the pain in the wound intensified, sending what felt like searing fire through her entire leg. She closed her eyes shut tightly and gritted her teeth.
“Ow ow ow ow ow ow ow!”
She tried to pull her hoof away, but Twilight had a soft, firm grip on her foreleg, holding it in place.
“Hold still Pinkie. I know this hurts, but its needs to be cleaned.
“It stings!” Pinkie whined, her body twitching uncontrollably. As soon as Twilight pulled her gaze towards her, her lavender eyes meeting her own, she began to relax.
“I know it hurts Pinkie, but it's going to get worse if you just leave it like this.” Twilight had an idea. “Listen. Take a deep breath and focus on something else that makes you happy while I do this, okay? Can you do that?”
Pinkie nodded as she braced herself for the pain to come. Twilight continued her cleaning, doing the best she could to remove any dirt that had become stuck in the wound. Pinkie’s whimpering continued, but as the soothing, cool water from the cloth seeped into the wound and the dirt and grime was removed, the pain slowly began to fade away and she started to relax
Finished, Twilight threw away the now blood soaked washcloth and gave Pinkie a fresh dry towel. “Cover it up and put pressure on it. We need to stop the bleeding. I’ll prepare a bandage.”
“Okay Twilight,” Pinkie replied, a small smile returning to her face. She had relaxed by now, most of the fire in her hoof having dissipated at this point.
Twilight began to unwind a length of bandaging cloth, laying it out flat on the table before grasping a pair of scissors in the kit with her magic and performing a perfect cut, severing it from the rest of the roll. She turned to Pinkie, and took her hoof in hers, carefully removing the towel. She concentrated on the wound, her eyes seemingly staring deep into the cracked hoof. Pinkie couldn’t help but find herself intrigued with Twilight’s actions.
“Twilight?” She asked through giggles.. “What are you up to?”
Twilight smiled as she lit up her horn. “This might sting for just a second.” A beam of lime green energy wafted over Pinkie’s hoof, causing her to flinch as she felt a short shot of pain travel up the length of her leg. As soon as it arrived however, the pain quickly faded away, replaced by a slight tingling numbness in her hoof. She looked at her hoof, curious and confused.
“What did you do?” she asked as Twilight began to bandage up her hoof.
Twilight chuckled. “Just a simple medical spell I learned not too long ago for healing gashes and surface wounds. It helps keep out unwanted bacteria and infection.” She finished binding up Pinkie’s leg, tying up the loose ends and making sure the cloth was held together tight and secure. “Plus, it acts as a pain-killer. You shouldn’t be feeling much right now, am I right?”
“Woah, I’m not!” Pinkie grinned happily as she dangled her hoof in front of her face. “That’s amazing! I don’t feel a thing!” She looked back at her friend. “Thank you Twilight!”
Twilight shook her head. “Oh it was nothing. Now then...” She began levitating a towel over to Pinkie. “I think it’s time we get you dried up.
“What!” Pinkie put a hoof up in an effort to stop Twilight. “Oh Phhbbbt! You’ve done enough for me! I’ve got this!”
Pinkie suddenly stood up on the couch and shook herself off like a waterlogged puppy, flinging water all over the room. When she was finished, her coat was dry and her mane and tail was poofy and fluffy. She looked back at Twilight to find the librarian soaked from head to hoof, unamused.
“Heh heh. Sorry Twilight. I guess I didn’t think that through did I?”
Twilight sighed as she levitated a dry towel over to herself. “No, no it’s fine Pinkie. I imagine your coat was asking for it. Just please let me know next time so I can get out of range.”
“You got it Twilight!” Pinkie proclaimed as she settled down into the comforts of the couch, allowing the soft, downy cushions to claim her.
Twilight dried herself off, biding her time in removing all traces of moisture out of her mane and coat. As she finished up, she noticed Pinkie Pie giggling at her. Twilight tilted her head to the side, confused.
“What is it? What’s so funny?” she asked, arching an eyebrow.
Pinkie snorted. “Teehee. Uh, nothing really. “It’s just...you’re...” She placed a hoof on her mouth as she tried to contain the plethora of laughter that was threatening to break through, a small snort erupting from her muzzle despite her best efforts.
“Pinkie I don’t know what you’re going at here! Just tell me what’s so fu...” Out of the corner of her eye she saw her reflection in the window and turned to study it. While dry, her mane now looked like a bird’s nest, curly and uneven with strands of hair sticking out.
“Oh,” Twilight said as she cringed at her new look. “Classy.”
Pinkie couldn’t contain herself any longer. She burst into a fit of laughter and snorts as she fell backwards on the couch, her hind legs kicking around randomly in the air. She wiped the tears out of her eyes as she finally regained control of herself. “Oh Twilight! That’s a good look for you! You look like poodle! Hey! Can I call you Twilight Barkle?” she suggested through snickers, prompting a frustrated groan from Twilight.
Suddenly, Twilight had an idea. A sly smile formed on her face.
“Why yes, Pinkie Pie. I’d say I do look absolutely ravishing in this new hairstyle, wouldn’t you say so? As a matter, I’d recommend it to anypony,” she admitted foxily, gently patting her own mane with a hoof as she turned towards her hyperactive friend. “Do you want to try it out?”
Suddenly she lit up her horn and fired a small current of flickering yellow light and energy at Pinkie’s mane. Pinkie’s squeaked in surprise as she felt a tiny shock move through her body for a split second. She giggled as she felt a tingling sensation of pins and needles.
She looked back at Twilight to find the librarian with a cute evil grin on her face, proud of her successful vengeance on the party mare. Her eyes seemed to be concentrated on something.
“Wha...what are you looking at?” Pinkie asked curiously, wiping tears out of her eyes.
Twilight said nothing. Quiet as a mouse she directed Pinkie’s gaze to the window. As soon as Pinkie saw the poofy, electrified mane in the reflection, she fell into a fit of laughter once more, rolling over on the couch and covering her eyes with her hooves as she wriggled around in the blanket.
“Personally, I think it fits you too. Shows you how ecstatically enthusiastic you are,” Twilight said furtively. “Why, I could make it bigger!” She began lighting up her horn again.
“Okay, okay, stop!” Pinkie yelled through her giggles. “I surrender!”
Pleased with herself, Twilight let go of her magic and walked over to Pinkie, shaking her head at the ridiculousness of the whole thing. She held out a hoof to Pinkie.
“Truce?”
Pinkie nodded. “Okay, truce.” She obliged by bumping Twilight’s hoof with her own. She chuckled. “Guess that’s what I get for making fun of you. Me and my big ‘ole pie hole.”
Twilight shook her head. “No, you didn’t deserve it. Besides, we should probably keep a peace with one another if you’re going to be staying here for the next days.”
Pinkie arched an eyebrow. “Stay? You mean here? Oh Twilight I can’t do that! I need to get back to Sugarcube Corner!”
The grandiose flash of lightning outside followed shortly by the horrendous boom of thunder quickly changed her mind.
“Heh heh. But on second thought, staying here might not be a bad idea.” She looked at Twilight. “If it’s okay with you, that is.”
“Oh Pinkie Pie, come on,” Twilight said, astounded by the fact that Pinkie was being hesitant. “I have no problem letting you stay over!”
Pinkie’s eyes perked up and a spirited smile formed on Pinkie’s face. “Really?” she asked expectantly.
“Of course not!” Twilight said. “I’ve had friends stay over before, so it’s nothing new for me! And on top of that this is the first time I’ve had you over for the night! It’ll be a new experience!”
“Yeah!” Pinkie exclaimed, suddenly excited for the rest of the evening. “Like one of your nifty wifty little experiments!”
“Well, yeah, just like an experiment,” Twilight stated. She remembered back to what Spike said earlier that evening about things coming around the corner.
Is he psychic or something?
Twilight had no time to dwell on it as Pinkie’s excitement of the coming evening took over.
“Oh my gosh, this is going to be so much fun!” Pinkie proclaimed, sitting back in the couch. “There’re so many things we can do! We can play board games, bake cookies and cupcakes in the kitchen; have pillow fights, stay up late sharing mare stories, and in the morning...”
She clasped her hooves together. “I’m making waffles!”
Grinning widely, Pinkie looked around the treehouse. “Hey, where am I going to sleep?”
Twilight’s face suddenly dropped. Only now did she remember something, something that had happened during another sleepover that happened several years earlier.
“Oh. Well. Oh dear.” She gulped. “You remember the time when Applejack and Rarity stayed over years ago?
“Yeah!”
“You remember when Applejack accidently pulled the tree in through the bedroom window?”
“Why of course silly! How could I forget that?”
"Well, we got rid of the tree, but my guest bed was totalled. I hope you don't mind sharing a bed, Pinkie."
“Oh.”
Twilight watched nervously as Pinkie put her good hoof under her chin, thinking hard about the ordeal, her tongue sticking out of her mouth. A few seconds later, Pinkie’s expression lightened up.
“Oh, Twilight! What’s wrong with that? That just means you’re going to be spending a few evenings with your ‘ole Auntie Pinkie Pie, and then...”
As Pinkie began to trail off, Twilight’s eyes widened in horror as she realized what she had just done.
She was going to be spending several nights with Pinkie Pie, the most spontaneous, hyperactive mare in Equestria.
Dear Celestia, what have I done?
is this a shrek reference by any chance
There's some mild editing problems that seem to have sneaked past, but this was a fun beginning. I guess it could function as a one-shot, but it's such a good set up for shenanigans and general cain-raising that I hope you'll continue it. Some notes:
There are quotation marks! Who said that?!
?!
And then there's that awkward silence...you know?...
while there were a few grammatical errors, I think that this story is overall pretty good up to this point. I'm gonna keep my eye on this story....
Dear Celestia... what HAS she done indeed.....!!!!
There are a few grammar errors every now and then, but what really sticks out at me is that Pinkie Pie is acting a bit too.. shy.
2860820
Yeah I was wondering if I should really make a reference to that. Should that be kept?
You saved your friend's life, that's what. I look forward to the upcoming hi-jinx.
2860820
Thank you! Didn't spot those. And yes, that Shrek line. Not sure what to do with that at this point.
2862183
Someponies think it's tacky to reference great moments in literature. They are wrong. Keep it. Make more! I liked it, anyway.
I'm guessing that should be "widely"?
As for the Shrek reference -- I see no reason not to keep it. I bury hidden references into my stories all the time. (Like the "Somepony Else's Problem enchantment" in my story here, which I
stoleborrowed from Douglas Adams' Life, The Universe, and Everything.) As for what to do with it......have Pinkie make waffles?
(Ooo I love waffles! They're so nummy and delicious and when you fill up all the little square holes with maple syrup it's just like having candy for breakfast in every bite and I love candy don't you love candy Hey there's an idea what if I made candied waffles I could mix all kinds of candy bits into the batter and it'd be just like having breakfast in a candy store and – )
(PINKIE!)
(Ah swear... how the hay is that mare not five hundred pounds an' diabetic by now?)
24.media.tumblr.com/tumblr_lu6r28Cx4M1qczvpto1_500.png
hey I just made an account here to tell your story looks interesting
I'm from chile and dont speak english very well uso traductor google
igual tu historia se ve bakan
There's a lot to like about this. I hope this makes it into the feature box, because this is very promising.
Edit: ...And it did. Well deserved, bravo.
2862740 The prophet arises!
Well this story looks very promising. You had a pretty good start and an interesting premise as well. In a normal TwiPie, Twilight can get away from Pinkie, but having them confined together? Should be interesting. I await your next chapter. Also, your Shrek reference was fitting and well placed, didn't feel forced in the least, not bad.
Every time I see stories that look super good(like this one), I always think to myself, "Please don't let it be one chapter(looks and sees that it's only one chapter) )
And I love the Shrek reference
2863764 No, I think you are right. That's not to say that there isn't effort to capture Pinkie's personality, it's clearly there. However, I felt maybe a little Applejack in her dialogue too.
*scratches head*
...I swear I've read this before
Can't Twilight, Y'know... just teleport Pinkie home?
2863764
Well... she was in a lot of pain from that cracked hoof, so that probably took a bit of the helium out of her balloons, as it were.
I'm more curious as to why she was so resistant to Twilight helping her with it, and kept insisting she was fine even when it was obvious she wasn't. It makes me wonder if that's going to pay off later in some unhappy revelation about her past.
2864807 Yea, I agree that Pinkie isn't usually stubborn about accepting help, though it's also rarely come up. *shrugs*
As to Pinkie quoting Donkey? Yea, it's Pinkie. It also doesn't directly break the forth wall but still doesn't make sense, just like Pinkie's molesting of the forth wall int he show. I think removing it would be a shame.
i see that shrek reference
2865080
Oh, I don't know -- what doesn't make sense about it? She's a baker, after all, and Twilight's offering to let her stay the night rather than have to go home in the storm with a cracked and bandaged hoof... why wouldn't she make waffles? In-universe, she's basically just offering (in her own lovably hyperactive, ditzy way) to do something nice for Twilight in gratitude for Twilight helping her. She could just as easily have said "I'll make pancakes!" or "I'll make omelettes!", just as I could just as easily have called it an "illusion-wall spell" or a "Please-Ignore-Me spell", instead of referencing the "'Somebody Else's Problem' field" from Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy.
Those kinds of references are there as a sly wink from author to reader, not necessarily an indication that the characters themselves are aware that they're referencing something.
Lighthearted--I like it!
2864807
Either life on the rock farm, or... more likely and in-line with her character:
Pinkie doesn't want to make Twilight unhappy because Pinkie was injured. It's the exact opposite of Pinkie to let her friends be sad because of her, regardless of how much sense it makes.
2865139
Now I can't stop imagining Pinkie and Donkey in a song number together.
2864266
Thunderstorms interfere with teleporting, making it far too dangerous to try.
Your disbelief in now suspended! You're welcome.
This story has potential, so it's worth the subscription. Also, love the Shrek reference. XD
2865375
I suppose it could be that, although the obvious flip side of that is "Pinkie, you're making me even more unhappy because you're obviously hurt and won't let me help you."
Or, maybe I'm over-analysing it. Just seemed like a bit of a drama hook that might be interesting to explore if the author decides to go that route.
Is the title a reference to "It started with your smile"?
2864266
But that wouldn't be conveniant to the plot at all! So clearly teleportation cannot be used during a storm, as it must interfere somehow!
The Shrek reference made me giggle, Pinkie's more-serious-than-expected hoof injury troubles me, and the potential for this story is just fantastic! Well done, I want to see more!
2865615
Pinkie isn't really shown to be the sort to go that far. If she hides it well enough, they only know it's just something she'll get over quick and not a problem. No need to worry. That'd also make Pinkie pretty darn sad, thinking that way. The way I proposed is fitting, because it leaves room for hope of escaping the situation with her friends in smiles.
Your way leaves it a depressing no-win scenario. Sad or sadder. xD Hair's poofy, she can't be thinking that way!
Waffles
Faved this
There aren't enough good Twinkie stories out there, but this one looks really promising. I can't wait to read the rest of it.
yup totally going to havebto see where this isgoing. good on ya mate.
lovely story! I can't wait for more
2864266
SSSHHH!!!
Don't ruin the shipping!
i1243.photobucket.com/albums/gg557/donnys_boy/TwiPielove.png
Minor point, I know, but unless I'm much mistaken, having a torrential downpour after a long period of drought is actually a really bad thing, since the dried up ground can't absorb the water as deeply as quickly, which tends to cause severe flooding.
That's how I thought it worked, but its possible I'm wrong about that - After all, I'm not a meteorologist.
...anymore.
twilight Barkle...
and lost it
2863764 I think it's mostly that she seems to be more timid and subdued than usual. She generally has at least one wall of text in her appearances, but nothing of the sort here. Furthermore, she seemed to be on topic the entire time thus far. It doesn't mean the author can't improve, though. This is only the first chapter.
2868033
I've looked at the comments and have noted how Pinkie has been a bit out of character at times in this chapter. I'll try to be a bit more spontaneous with her in the future.
2868056 I wish you good luck in your journey
PinkiTwi is my second favourite pairing, and sadly Twilestia seems to be in short supply this summer
2868068
Why thank you! I hope its a good one!
2865813 Did they do this reference on purpose?!
2868105 Eeyup.
2868085 I do too
moooooaaaarrrrrr
Very cute start to a story. MOAR!