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When Twilight sees Pinkie Pie standing alone one night in the midst of a terrible storm, she decides to let her stay for the next couple of days. Little does she know how much her life will change in the nights to come.
Every choice we make denies ten thousand possibilities.
Cover Art by Relaxn
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is this a shrek reference by any chance
There's some mild editing problems that seem to have sneaked past, but this was a fun beginning. I guess it could function as a one-shot, but it's such a good set up for shenanigans and general cain-raising that I hope you'll continue it. Some notes:
There are quotation marks! Who said that?!
?!
And then there's that awkward silence...you know?...
while there were a few grammatical errors, I think that this story is overall pretty good up to this point. I'm gonna keep my eye on this story....
Dear Celestia... what HAS she done indeed.....!!!!
There are a few grammar errors every now and then, but what really sticks out at me is that Pinkie Pie is acting a bit too.. shy.
2860820
Yeah I was wondering if I should really make a reference to that. Should that be kept?
You saved your friend's life, that's what. I look forward to the upcoming hi-jinx.
2860820
Thank you! Didn't spot those. And yes, that Shrek line. Not sure what to do with that at this point.
2862183
Someponies think it's tacky to reference great moments in literature. They are wrong. Keep it. Make more! I liked it, anyway.
I'm guessing that should be "widely"?
As for the Shrek reference -- I see no reason not to keep it. I bury hidden references into my stories all the time.
(Like the "Somepony Else's Problem enchantment" in my story here, which I
stoleborrowed from Douglas Adams' Life, The Universe, and Everything.) As for what to do with it......have Pinkie make waffles?
(Ooo I love waffles! They're so nummy and delicious and when you fill up all the little square holes with maple syrup it's just like having candy for breakfast in every bite and I love candy don't you love candy Hey there's an idea what if I made candied waffles I could mix all kinds of candy bits into the batter and it'd be just like having breakfast in a candy store and – )
(PINKIE!)
(Ah swear... how the hay is that mare not five hundred pounds an' diabetic by now?)
24.media.tumblr.com/tumblr_lu6r28Cx4M1qczvpto1_500.png
hey I just made an account here to tell your story looks interesting
I'm from chile and dont speak english very well uso traductor google
igual tu historia se ve bakan
There's a lot to like about this. I hope this makes it into the feature box, because this is very promising.
Edit: ...And it did. Well deserved, bravo.
2862740 The prophet arises!
Well this story looks very promising. You had a pretty good start and an interesting premise as well. In a normal TwiPie, Twilight can get away from Pinkie, but having them confined together? Should be interesting. I await your next chapter. Also, your Shrek reference was fitting and well placed, didn't feel forced in the least, not bad.
Every time I see stories that look super good(like this one
), I always think to myself, "Please don't let it be one chapter(looks and sees that it's only one chapter) 
)
And I love the Shrek reference
2863764 No, I think you are right. That's not to say that there isn't effort to capture Pinkie's personality, it's clearly there.
However, I felt maybe a little Applejack in her dialogue too. 
*scratches head*
...I swear I've read this before
Can't Twilight, Y'know... just teleport Pinkie home?
2863764
Well... she was in a lot of pain from that cracked hoof, so that probably took a bit of the helium out of her balloons, as it were.
I'm more curious as to why she was so resistant to Twilight helping her with it, and kept insisting she was fine even when it was obvious she wasn't. It makes me wonder if that's going to pay off later in some unhappy revelation about her past.
2864807 Yea, I agree that Pinkie isn't usually stubborn about accepting help, though it's also rarely come up. *shrugs*
As to Pinkie quoting Donkey? Yea, it's Pinkie. It also doesn't directly break the forth wall but still doesn't make sense, just like Pinkie's molesting of the forth wall int he show. I think removing it would be a shame.
i see that shrek reference
2865080
Oh, I don't know -- what doesn't make sense about it? She's a baker, after all, and Twilight's offering to let her stay the night rather than have to go home in the storm with a cracked and bandaged hoof... why wouldn't she make waffles? In-universe, she's basically just offering (in her own lovably hyperactive, ditzy way) to do something nice for Twilight in gratitude for Twilight helping her. She could just as easily have said "I'll make pancakes!" or "I'll make omelettes!", just as I could just as easily have called it an "illusion-wall spell" or a "Please-Ignore-Me spell", instead of referencing the "'Somebody Else's Problem' field" from Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy.
Those kinds of references are there as a sly wink from author to reader, not necessarily an indication that the characters themselves are aware that they're referencing something.
Lighthearted--I like it!
2864807
Either life on the rock farm, or... more likely and in-line with her character:
Pinkie doesn't want to make Twilight unhappy because Pinkie was injured. It's the exact opposite of Pinkie to let her friends be sad because of her, regardless of how much sense it makes.
2865139
Now I can't stop imagining Pinkie and Donkey in a song number together.
2864266
Thunderstorms interfere with teleporting, making it far too dangerous to try.
Your disbelief in now suspended! You're welcome.
This story has potential, so it's worth the subscription. Also, love the Shrek reference. XD
2865375
I suppose it could be that, although the obvious flip side of that is "Pinkie, you're making me even more unhappy because you're obviously hurt and won't let me help you."
Or, maybe I'm over-analysing it.
Just seemed like a bit of a drama hook that might be interesting to explore if the author decides to go that route.
Is the title a reference to "It started with your smile"?
2864266
But that wouldn't be conveniant to the plot at all! So clearly teleportation cannot be used during a storm, as it must interfere somehow!
The Shrek reference made me giggle, Pinkie's more-serious-than-expected hoof injury troubles me, and the potential for this story is just fantastic! Well done, I want to see more!
2865615
Pinkie isn't really shown to be the sort to go that far. If she hides it well enough, they only know it's just something she'll get over quick and not a problem. No need to worry. That'd also make Pinkie pretty darn sad, thinking that way. The way I proposed is fitting, because it leaves room for hope of escaping the situation with her friends in smiles.
Your way leaves it a depressing no-win scenario. Sad or sadder. xD Hair's poofy, she can't be thinking that way!
Waffles
Faved this
There aren't enough good Twinkie stories out there, but this one looks really promising. I can't wait to read the rest of it.
yup totally going to havebto see where this isgoing. good on ya mate.
lovely story! I can't wait for more
2864266
SSSHHH!!!
Don't ruin the shipping!
i1243.photobucket.com/albums/gg557/donnys_boy/TwiPielove.png
Minor point, I know, but unless I'm much mistaken, having a torrential downpour after a long period of drought is actually a really bad thing, since the dried up ground can't absorb the water as deeply as quickly, which tends to cause severe flooding.
That's how I thought it worked, but its possible I'm wrong about that - After all, I'm not a meteorologist.
...anymore.
twilight Barkle...
and lost it
2863764 I think it's mostly that she seems to be more timid and subdued than usual. She generally has at least one wall of text in her appearances, but nothing of the sort here. Furthermore, she seemed to be on topic the entire time thus far. It doesn't mean the author can't improve, though. This is only the first chapter.
2868033
I've looked at the comments and have noted how Pinkie has been a bit out of character at times in this chapter. I'll try to be a bit more spontaneous with her in the future.
2868056 I wish you good luck in your journey
PinkiTwi is my second favourite pairing, and sadly Twilestia seems to be in short supply this summer
2868068
Why thank you! I hope its a good one!
2865813 Did they do this reference on purpose?!
2868105
Eeyup.
2868085 I do too
moooooaaaarrrrrr
Very cute start to a story. MOAR!