Celestia’s Tiny Student
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Chapter 4
Stargazing
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Eight years before Nightmare Moon's return
It had been five years since Celestia took Twilight Sparkle up as her faithful student.
In that time, Brave Blade had easily tracked down Rainbow Dash, the pegasus filly who had created the Sonic Rainboom. She had created it during an impromptu racing event and had earned her cutie mark soon after. Her involvement in the whole event, however, was obscured behind the wonder of the event itself. It was not easy to convince the filly to keep it quiet, but Rainbow Dash was quickly compliant when Fluttershy was mentioned.
The whole situation with Fluttershy had shocked Celestia. Perhaps it was assumed that all pegasi enrolled at the academy could fly, but that was little excuse for the lack of safety measures that nearly led to the death of the pegasus filly, who was nudged off the safety of her cloud by a speeding Rainbow Dash. Fortunately and quite remarkably, she had been saved by a passing cloud of butterflies and had earned her cutie mark soon after the Rainboom.
Fancy Pants had managed to track down a unicorn filly by the name of Rarity, who had gone missing a day before the Rainboom, having given a quick shout to her parents about destiny while being dragged away by her glowing horn. She had returned the late afternoon after the Rainboom with an unexplained massive stock of gemstones that she used to beautify the costumes used in the pageant the next day.
Fancy Pants had also received word from Manehatten that concerned a young farm filly named Applejack. The upper-class Orange family had lamented Applejack’s sudden conviction to return to Sweet Apple Acres soon after the Rainboom, where her cutie mark had appeared.
There was still one possible Element missing, but there was still eight more years left to find it. At the moment, the other four possible bearers had already settled or had prepared to settle in Ponyville. Rarity had been absolutely entranced by the Carousel Boutique, which was left to her rural family after retirement of a fashionista relative. Fluttershy had expressed her desire to settle near a forest filled with critters and Celestia had quietly provided a nice, cheap cottage next to the Everfree forest where the old castle crumbled away. To her parents’ surprise, Rainbow Dash was prepared to leave with Fluttershy on the day of her birthday, deciding that flight school had little else to teach her, and was already building her own cloud house with spare materials from her temporary internship at the weather factory. Applejack was already living at the edge of Ponyville and needed no intervention. Twilight, of course, was right with Celestia and could be sent to Ponyville whenever she wished, and with her resources, it would be easy to gather the bearers in Ponyville even if they eventually decided not to settle there.
It was not the most honest thing, Celestia knew, to manipulate her subjects like this, but if the Elements had already chosen them, they would need to be together. She just needed to make sure that they were together by the time Luna returned.
Nightmare Moon herself would be strong and experienced in combat, but with the resources of Equestria, Celestia would have no issues taking her down. The problem lay within defeating Nightmare Moon without hurting her sister inside, and since Nightmare Moon would never accept defeat, such a task was indeed formidable.
It was a gamble to rely on being able to activate the Elements of Harmony again, but if there was a chance that it could end the conflict without Luna or anypony else getting hurt, it was a gamble worth taking.
Celestia, as usual, was the first to wake, quietly stretching out the kinks in her back before lighting the darkness of the night with her horn. She looked at her faithful student curled up on the pillow next to her.
It still bothered her that she was forced to keep her student tiny. Even after so long, Twilight was still unable to withhold her surges whenever she overexerted her magic and as a result, she had to remain at her size, hidden away from any other ponies her own age.
Celestia turned on the lights and next cast her daily protection spell on Twilight with her magic before nudging the pillow on which her student rested. "Rise and shine, my little Sparkle."
Twilight woke with a quiet, “Shmerrr.” She yawned before straightening up and turning to face her mentor. “Good morning, Princess!”
Celestia gave a warm grin to her student when a quick rapping on the chamber’s doors drew their attention. She gave a quick, “You may enter,” and the doors slowly opened with a glow of magic, allowing a few servants bearing breakfast and tea to enter, accompanied by a professional Steel Blade and a yawning Overwatch. The servants each left their offerings on the endtable, giving a quick nod before retreating back to the kitchens. The two guards took their posts at the door following a short acknowledgement of the Princess and a polite bow.
Twilight wasted no time levitating the teapot and a pair of cups. “Tea, Princess?” she asked cheerfully, determined to take every opportunity to practice her magic.
Celestia gave a nod, watching as Twilight slowly poured the tea. None of this was beyond her ability, but Twilight had proven consistently that she wanted to do everything she could to help out and this was no exception. She allowed the teacup to get close enough to touch with a hoof before taking it up in her own magic and taking a sip.
The princess set her teacup down with a slight rattle as she surveyed the rest of the table. The castle’s kitchen had prepared a wide variety of foods, ranging from a deceptively simple hay sandwich to an elaborate cake that should never be eaten at breakfast. Ever. If there was a reason that Celestia may have put on a few pounds over the centuries, it would have mostly been the kitchen staff’s fault for waging war on her with delectables. It would not have been very sporting of her if she did not have a taste or two or three of everything they had cooked up.
Celestia cut out a suitably small enough to be considered restrained but still large enough to be enjoyed slice of cake and began eating as Twilight, who had moved onto the table itself, levitated her own small piece of food to eat. It was unnecessary for the kitchens staff to cook for two ponies since Twilight needed little more than an fiftieth of what normal ponies needed, and the princess was more than willing to share.
The moment Celestia levitated another piece of cake over. Twilight had levitated over a large cup of tea before carefully and deliberately tilting it so she could take a sip herself. It was a far cry from a few years back, when the cup itself would spill half of its contents on its way to her and the other half when she tried to drink from it. It was good progress, but Twilight needed to be challenged, and the teacup held little else for her to benefit from.
Celestia finished her breakfast, setting an empty teacup down as she lowered her head beside Twilight. “It’s time to raise the sun. Would you like to watch?” she asked, already knowing the answer to her question. Twilight gave a quick nod before clambering onto Celestia's head, ducking and dodging as the Royal Accouterments floated into position and taking her place behind her mentor’s crown.
Twilight had always been impressed by the Princess' graceful gait, even more so since she had begun to ride on her head. There was not even the slightest bump as Celestia strode purposefully to her traditional spot for the sunrise, even with the addition of one last piece of cake floating in her magical field behind her as she walked.
It seemed to take a little longer than usual for the princess to get situated, finishing off the last of the cake and positioning herself in the direction of the glowing moon. The dark patches on the celestial orb looked darker this morning as Twilight stared in fascination, engrossed in the soft flow of her mentor's power. Ever so slowly, the moon slipped below the horizon, seeming somewhat reluctant in its journey, but once it had been put to rest, Twilight turned to the other horizon in anticipation.
The sun surged up in a blaze of warm light, making Twilight suck in a breath despite herself. Despite having seen the process every day for the last few years, it still brought an infectious excitement to her heart as well as a string of excited babble every time.
Celestia paid little attention to her student’s praise as she looked to the horizon where the moon had disappeared. She lingered there on the balcony for a few more seconds before slowly turning to walk back to her chambers.
“It appears that our time for today is nearly over,” Celestia announced to her exhausted student, “I will have to go attend to my royal duties now, but if you wish to go anywhere today, just tell me now and I will have your guards escort you.”
The hour of magical weight training felt like it had lasted a lot longer than it actually had and Twilight was already exhausted, though she had managed to lift more than sixty times her weight before surging, a new record for the moment. It was as good a reason as any to bend the rules a bit.
“Well, could I play with Spike then? Please?” Twilight replied.
Celestia gave Twilight a nod. “Of course you can, but be careful though. I’m sure your two guards will help keep you safe, but they won’t be able to protect you from everything. He may have good intentions, but he’s still a young dragon and unaware of his own strength.” Spike had been able to visit fairly often now, much to Twilight’s delight, and at the age of five, Spike was a fair bit more careful than when he was an infant drake. It was yet another friend for Twilight to have, a rarity since she needed to be kept isolated from the dangers of the world.
Twilight nodded energetically. “No problem, Princess! I’ll be careful,” she offered before plopping back in exhaustion.
Celestia gave a warm smile, levitating Twilight over to her pillow. “I’m sure you will, but for now, you need to rest from your training. I will ask the guards to summon Spike, so take care and enjoy yourself,” she said gently before departing, leaving her student alone with her two guards.
A light rapping on the door sounded, drawing Twilight’s attention. Steel Blade opened the door, revealing a pair of guards outside, Spike sitting happily on the back of one of them. After a round of formalities, Spike happily hopped to the ground, scurrying into the bedchamber as Steel Blade moved aside to grant him access.
"H-hi Twilith!" exclaimed Spike. The young drake did not take long to begin learning Equestrian, though he was advancing at a somewhat slower pace than young foals his age. It was assumed that since dragons lived to a longer age, draconic development also advanced at a slower pace, and although Spike had difficulties with language, Twilight understood him easily.
"Hey Spike! C’mon, wanna come read with me?" Twilight asked excitedly, sitting up on her pillow.
"Susss-sure" Spike slurred a bit, already attempting to climb up onto the bed. Twilight wished she could help him up with her magic. His diminutive size was betrayed by his scales’ combined weight. Spike was nearly thirty kilograms, which was extremely close to Twilight’s weight limit before she triggered a surge. It did not help that her magical reserves were now low, almost completely drained by her training. The issue was neatly solved, however, when Overwatch lightly levitated Spike up, placing him next to Twilight.
"Thank you, but could you please pass me that book over there?" Twilight asked, pointing to a book on a nearby table.
Overwatch looked to where she was pointing and levitated the book in question over. It was a colorful book filled with various foal-friendly tales and myths, perfect material to teach the young drake.
Twilight thanked the guard as the book was propped up in front of her and Spike. Though her magic was weakened, she still had no problems turning the light paper of the pages. "Okay Spike, say Equestria," she ordered softly to Spike, showing the baby dragon a drawing from the book. It was a beautiful hoof-drawn rendition of the country with the name “EQUESTRIA” written in large, flowing script at the top.
"Equesria," Spike replied.
"Almost! Try again. Ee-ques-tri-a."
"Ee-coo-est-ia," Spike sounded the word out slowly, trying to make sense of Twilight’s teachings. Unsatisfied, Twilight prompted him to try again.
"Ee-que-stra," Spike repeated, looking at Twilight, still unsure as to whether he got it correct this time.
Twilight smiled. "Very good Spike." His pronunciation was not quite perfect yet, but it was good to encourage him, and Spike loved her for it. His caretakers had taken to trying to teach him the language, but they seemed distant and distrustful, more interested in studying him than teaching him.
The guards returned to their spots around the door. This was not the first time Twilight had given Spike lessons in reading and writing and if the pattern continues, this session was going to last a few hours. They gave a collective sigh, but managed to smile warmly at the scene in front of them. This was going to be a long day.
Celestia finished with her duties late into the day, but had unfortunately gotten no word on the last Element Bearer, who she had surmised to be the Bearer of Laughter after looking through the files on the other bearers. Despite the best efforts of her agents, none of the organizations related to entertainment had reported any strange events following the Rainboom, and Celestia was running out of ideas of where to look. Her thoughts ended as the two guards opened the door to her chambers to allow her entrance.
"You're back, Princess!" Twilight exclaimed cheerfully, looking up from the book she was reading, "How was your day?" She was surrounded by books that were for foals far below her current age and Celestia quickly deduced what had occurred in her absence.
"My day? Nothing special, my faithful student," Celestia answered, looking as disinterested as she felt. "I signed a few good ideas into play, politely rejected several bad ideas, and spent a while talking with nobles."
Not that I am complaining too much. An uneventful day means that Equestria is peaceful and that my ponies are happy, though those nobles could do with a bit of shaping up. Elite of Canterlot, my flank. The vast majority of them are arrogant and useless, but with the immense influence that bits can get them, all I can do is make sure that they don’t try to pass any stupid laws. She sighed. Keeping with the feudal system all those centuries ago had been a remarkably bad idea.
At least I have Fancy Pants. He’s been able to help out immensely on the nobility front and thankfully, his popularity could sway anypony to his side, whether he’s aware of it or not.
"Oh. That’s disappointing," Twilight noted with a frown, but quickly cheered up. "Maybe we can have some fun together?"
Celestia smiled genuinely. "That sounds like a wonderful idea, but let me raise the moon first," Celestia explained, picking up Twilight as she walked over to her balcony.
Outside, Celestia raised her horn and prepared to set the sun, making place for the moon to raise in all it’s glory. It wasn't quite her element to be doing her sister's job, but daily practice over pretty much the last millennium had given her plenty of experience, and the moon moved smoothly to its rightful position in the sky.
"Wonderful, isn't it?" Twilight asked. She caught Celestia's attention and pointed a hoof upwards, "Your night sky is so wonderful. The stars are so bright and though ponies see them every night, there’s so much still unknown about them. I found an astronomy book about the constellations and though there were many things I didn’t understand, I’m sure that when I grow up, I’ll be able to learn everything about the night sky and the constellations that you’ve made." Twilight smiled, continuing to gaze up at the night sky.
Celestia gave a weak smile, thankful that her student could not see her face easily from her perch. I am so sorry, sister. I’ve succeeded too well in keeping you a secret from the ponies that would hate and fear you and now my faithful student has praised me for your work, even though I haven't changed it in the slightest since the day of your banishment.
But it needed to be done. No one would have ever seen you as anything other than a monster if the story of the Mare in the Moon was thought of as anything but a fairy tale. Please, forgive me. Forgive me for being so blind. You’ve done so much for Equestria, from protecting it from monsters that lurk in the darkness, to bringing about a beautiful, serene night to allow it to rest, yet our subjects...
No, not even I had shown you the love that you deserved.
I had done nothing when you needed me the most and I failed to realize it until it was too late. Celestia lost herself in her thoughts, gazing at the moon, hoping that her thoughts would travel to her sister so far away.
In the end, I am still unable to correct this mistake, having to resort to using a filly to help redeem myself. She will have to be my means to an end, and all I can do is make her happy and prepare her for what is to come. Celestia’s eyes watered, but another smile soon worked its way onto her muzzle.
I’m sure you’ll have much to talk about with my faithful student. She seems quite interested in your art, Luna. I’ll see you soon. She turned to re-enter her chambers when a voice stopped her.
“Could we stay out here for a little longer?” Twilight asked. She was trying to look down into Celestia’s eyes, “We could read that complicated book about constellations together.”
Celestia turned to stare at the unused telescope next to her on the balcony, disuse and dust tarnishing its once former beauty. A moment passed before she swept it into position, calling for a guard to bring her the astronomy book that Twilight had mentioned.
Perhaps it is finally time for me to learn something about you, dear sister.
Ok I'm going to be honest with you, having Celestia refer to Twilight as her weapon is very put offing, sorry man but I have to say it.
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2827391
Better or worse? Feedback please!
2827362 2827391
Fixed, and also, you both are correct, it does sounds out of character after everything she experienced with Twilight for past 5 years.
Thanks for pointing it out.
Is there anything you can say when you compare version 1 and version 2 ?
I need feedback do it improved, and if not, what I am missing. ( version 2 is far shorter, but do it make chapter better or not, and is there anything in version 1 what in your opinion should be in version 2 ? )
The Second one has a better flow and a more clear direction on where the story is going. You also explain it better on why all the Element Bearers are in Ponyville and told us in a more believable way about how she found them made sure that all lived in Ponyville.
i lovin this story
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Glad to hear it! There's so much that the other editors and I have changed from the original and it's good to hear that they're making this story excellent, even though we may make a few missteps here and there.
Keep reading! I'm starting to get through chapter five now and hopefully, it'll be out soon!
2827789 'ello, I've lost the Google Document, from before, If you need an extra hand I'm willing to help out again. Though it looks like you don't need my help to be perfectly honest. It looks fantastic =^w^=
This feels better, indeed!
Question:
Shouldn't that be: "as good a reason as any"?
Politefully should be politely.
2828116 2828334
Fixed.
Very good - this version is definitely tighter and more focused than the original. Hope we see more from the guards!
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Oh, don't worry. The guards aren't going away just yet. I love them too much for that~
Very clean and tight, good scene transitions, and I absolutely love(!) the cake! It's cleaner and not so meandering as the original, but I can't fault the other version. I kinda like the wordiness. There was a bit more humor in this version, so I'm voting V.2 for the win (sorry I'm not more definite).
Kinda liked the first version better.
2827434>>2827437
This one is much better, with one exception.
There's possession here. 'Her sister' owns 'the job' here, and thus i find this bit awkwardly worded. That along with the 'centuries had given her plenty of practice' can be reworded to be more detailed. It can be re-arranged to:
If you read both sentences aloud, my version seems to flow off the tongue better.
I find the quoted part (possession oddly worded) showing up with far more frequency than it ever should, as of late. As an editor, i have to fix that far more often than i ever should. Well, that and commas.
Feel free to use that change if you want. I won't mind.
I really prefer version 2.
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What you liked in first version more ?
Can you give me an example ?
Whenever I read a fic dealing with Princess Celestia's thoughts on this matter, I always think of this. Always. Then I cry some.
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I see Luna transformation as something where all parties are at fault, and I am sure Celestia regret of what she had to do, so I see no reason why to not exploit it.
Also, nice song, really suitable.
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That it is. I love that song and the one that comes before it.
Well this is where I stop reading for now. Can you give me a PM when everything is up and ready to be read? I look forward to it.
As for my opinions. Well I must say that you've turned this fic around and despite my original reluctance have proven to have made this story so much stronger than it was before. I'll admit that I miss Blue Blood not showing up and looking like a good guy who has to be a total d-bag in front of his peers to steer them in the right direction. But Fancy Pants has done that job so much more efficiently. Although BB hopefully will come up later. Congrats on what you've done so far.
I know this probably doesn't mean anything, but I'm actually proud of you [as one author to another] with what you've accomplished with your story so far, from what it was. It was a huge undertaking and you've turned a decent / interesting fic. Into a much stronger one. Give your editors my thanks, and praises. And I can't wait to see what comes out next.
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Most of congratulations go to Steven, he practically rewriten the story.
My big issues is that I come from Poland so my word arsenal is limited, and I tend to over-explain thinks.
Steven may not be a autor of any story, but he is a damn good editor, he know what I try to accomplish, and edit it so that my story do it better, I would even put Steven as my sub autor, but I am not sure do Fanfic.net allow this ?
*eating popcorn* Mmf, does she know how to teleport yet?
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She learn how to do it in chapter 5, and I tell you, it will lead to more than just one problem ( tiny unicorn who can teleport from place to place, oh, the horrors ).
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I was thinking the same thing. Some of the lines just fit so well.
"Forgive me for being so blind. "
I do believe I've found a reference :D
Luna your loved so much more than you know...
Forgive me for for being so blind
The years now before us
fearful and unknown...
I never imagined
I'd face them on my own
I wonder why she's having problems finding Pinkie Pie. Great Chapter
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I think it was editing mistake, it was most likely meant to be 1/80, not 1/8, but I changed it to 1/50, since Twilight is 1/100 normal mass, but protection spell double her strength, endurance and magic raw power, so it also mean she need twice as much food.
Oh great, it had to slip up after I updated it, oh well, fixing it again, this time for good.
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I actually think she WOULD be introspective and Honest enough to acknowledge it to herself. She loves her little ponies, but because she does she has to do what is right for ALL of them, and, to me, that means putting her little ponies in risky situations from time to time. Even if you leave her love for her sister out of it, Equestria is safer with an extra Alicorn on duty, both so nobody gets any funny ideas about assassination being a profitable endeavor, as fighters in their own rights (even Cadance can solo shield a city against certain types of threats), and even as another set of millenia-old eyes to double check Celestia's ideas and planning.
If (and maybe you would consider it nearly impossible) full out war should ever come to Equestria, Luna could also sooth the souls of gentle ponies forced to do terrible things that even more terrible things should not come to pass. Who better than the War-Goddess of the Night who comforts foals to comfort the dreams of a righteous stallion who has the life's blood of an enemy on his hooves?
Being calculating doesn't ALWAYS mean being cold. Canon Celestia is both manipulative and loving, and neither gets in the way of the other, in fact they aid eachother.
Imagine a HiE that took place during this,
Is this chapter in the middle of being updated? The transition from the previous chapter is a bit jarring to say the least.
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This is normal chapter. Can you explain what exacly is wrong with it?
CELESTIA TINY STUDENT: REVIEW
PARTS: CHAPTER 4
“It was not easy to convince the filly to keep it quiet, but Rainbow Dash was quickly compliant when Fluttershy was mentioned.”
Did... did a guard just threatened a filly mob style? Man, this Celestia is hardcore with her secrets, I say.
Also, her information gathering is so good as to pintpoint 2 foals in all of Equestria who managed to have a surge of cutie marks with no lead, magical leaking and/or physical description but she failed to know that Twilight have a big brother in
TWO YEARSSSSSS?*.“having given a quick shout to her parents about destiny while being dragged away by her glowing horn”
You know, Equestria is really free range with the education and lives of their Children. I can almost see the image of her parents watching their foal be dragged by an unseen force away from home while not even stopping their breakfast and waving her retreating form in the distance. Rarity dad has a monocle as it’s screaming “Have a gay time old man, CHERIOOO” but that’s mostly because I’m weird.
“but with the resources of Equestria, Celestia would have no issues taking her down”
“If there was a reason that Celestia may have put on a few pounds over the centuries, it would have mostly been the kitchen staff’s fault for waging war on her with delectables. It would not have been very sporting of her if she did not have a taste or two or three of everything they had cooked up.”
That’s actually pretty funny.
“Twilight was already exhausted, though she had managed to lift more than sixty times her weight before surging, a new record for the moment”.
So Twilight is the magical version of Major Armstrong? Yeah, this is my fanon for this fic. Twilight is General Armstrong if he was purple, small and female…. Shut up.
“It was yet another friend for Twilight to have, a rarity since she needed to be kept isolated from the dangers of the world”.
You know, if this didn’t work for Elsa, I shudder what Twilight would do. Also, wouldn’t this make Twilight a social cripple in year teenager years, damaging her ability to make friends and putting the entire plan in jeopardy. And another thing, If Celestia knew exactly who were the other elements of harmony and she is so ready to manipulate her subjects, wouldn’t have been better to introduce the six slowly in months and years to truly create the friendship bonds to activate the elements of harmony? Or there is a rule that the holders must not know until mortal danger who their “best friends” are to activate the orbital canon. Seems like quite te unnecessary jeopardy just to maintain the stations of canon, but what do I know. I’m not a horsey pastel magical pony.
“His caretakers had taken to trying to teach him the language, but they seemed distant and distrustful, more interested in studying him than teaching him.”
So in another TWO YEARSSSSSSSSSS, Celestia didn’t do squat to resolve the issue with Spike and his caretakers. For a motherly benevolent ruler, she kind of suck in protecting her charges. Or she has some deep issues with foals and babies.
“Elite of Canterlot, my flank. The vast majority of them are arrogant and useless, but with the immense influence that bits can get them, all I can do is make sure that they don’t try to pass any stupid laws”.
You know, it always bothered me. If the Nobility is such a terrible people and they are not in that way by Celestia will in a Machiavellian political maneuver, Why hasn’t she, who has almost omnipotent influence thanks to the combination of: her being either a archmage or a goddess; her political influence, her social standing as the MOST beloved creature in the planet and her long life span; done anything in her one thousand rules?.
You think that being the greatest political force in the nation with the ability to create a hundred years reformation and manipulate it day to day it's steps in a cultural revolution she could do something about it instead of, you know, suffering idiots day in or day out. Maybe she is a secret masochist as a penance for Nightmare moon. Or lazy. I’m going with lazy.
“No one would have ever seen you as anything other than a monster if the story of the Mare in the Moon was thought of as anything but a fairy tale.”
So what happened to Luna? You know, the co-ruler of Equestria? Did Celestia said she got a sabbatical and hoped that people would kind of forget? Did she edited every book and took out Luna? What about the other races? And there are not immortals or long lived in the planet? What would Luna say if she found out that she had pretty much make an unperson from Equestria history? I don’t know, but I think it would have been preferable to make a lie that Luna, a great ruler was possessed by an evil spirit than to simply destroy her past so thoroughly that she only survive as a foal eating monster (what is with you and foals celestia, you need help ).
And what would she say to the rest of the population after luna is free: Yeah, kind of erased my sister from history and make her a bogus so she would not be hated, but she is totally fine know and you can love her all you want even after she appeared as a genocidal maniac. Again
I think you could hear “Dick Move” to outer space after that.
Probably by luna canterlot’s voice.
“I had done nothing when you needed me the most and I failed to realize it until it was too late”
So I destroyed all evidence that you ever existed and took your night as my own. Because I love you.
*(Why yes, I never letting that go)
Still enjoying this story a lot. Though it irks me a bit that two royal guards have been assigned to the same filly and the same station for 5 years running (Although presumably they've had breaks... Hmm. I think it would be cool to see a short bonus chapter inserted somewhere in here with Twi and Celestia "breaking in" an interim pair for when the normal two are on holiday or some such. ).
Proofreading!
Rose should be raised. The correct setting for "rose" would be...
If you were absolutely set on making use of "rose", this would work, but cuts the direct attribution of Celestia raising the sun. If it was impossible for any other entity to raise the sun, this would work. This implies that twilight would have the same reaction if, say, Nightmare Moon raised the sun. "Rose", as a verb, is tough to make fit in contexts involving three subjects (Twilight, Celestia, and the Sun... "v was w because x caused y to z.", which is what you have here.).
Tacking this on the end would work; but is a bit clunky, and is somewhat redundant due to the fact that the rest of the paragraph strongly asserts that it was Celestia doing the raising. It also implies that Twilight does not have the same reaction to the sun rising due to someone else raising it, or *gasp* that Celestia does not ALWAYS cause the sun to rise.
Maybe NMM sunrises just aren't as good as Celestia's? Or is Twily just a fanfilly? Could they even tell, do you think, if she one day decided to let Luna or (SISTERS FORBID) Discord do the raising for once?
Gah. Just change it to "raised", would ya?
Needs a space between a and lot. It's a common, easy, innocently irritating mistake.
3713708 What's a HiE?
2827437 Twiny is now less adorable.... BUT SHE STILL BUCKING ADORABLE!!!!
2950196 Polska to wspaniały kraj. Wybacz mi słabą gramatykę.
5068151 śmiać się głośno śmiać się głośno śmiać się głośno !!
5067575 Human in Equestria. HiE and AiE (Anon in Equestria) are sometimes looked down as 'lesser' fanfics, but there are some gems, just be aware you're scraping the bottom of the barrel for them.
5237336 Anon? Who the buck is Anon!!!
5237951 Anon is everyone.
5237951 *Points at her username*
I know spikes young but he could be trained to be her personal guard
Aww, that pic is so cute!
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And no one at the same time.
"Rarity, are you going out? Have you finished your homew--"
"Can't talk now. DESTINY!"
Typical Tia.
Wow, considering Twilight probably wears a few grams at most right now, that means she can lift ten thousand times her body weight. If she were full sized, that'd be hundreds of tons - and she's still a foal.
I see what you did there.
Awwww, I think the pics are broken for this chapter.
Broken images in this chapter.
Twilight's body may be tiny, but she is frequently using her magic to lift considerable weight, and her magic is also fueling the shrinking spell. That energy has to come from somewhere. She should be eating all the time.
7258098 Ya like how birds don't eat a lot from OUR perspective, but for their size and weight, HUGE amount.