Bonus Ch - The Return of Philomena
Celestia’s Tiny Student
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Bonus Chapter
The Return of Philomena
Before Twilight had become Princess Celestia’s personal student, the Princess of the Sun had often found companionship in a mischievous phoenix named Philomena. Though Philomena spent most of her time inside a cage in Celestia’s bedchamber, the door of the cage was rarely locked, allowing her to fly freely around the castle whenever she wished, whether it was to take a morning flight or to wreck havoc on the sanity of the castle servants. Though she spent plenty of her time with the princess, it wasn’t unusual for Philomena to journey far from the castle of her own volition, and over a decade back, she had begun such a journey, flying north.
Many years had passed before Philomena landed back on the familiar balcony, strutting confidently back inside to her home sweet home.
The phoenix looked around lazily, finding the room empty and her owner missing. She assumed that the princess was simply off managing her little ponies again, and with a few flaps of her wings, Philomena hopped onto the bed for a nap, only to find it completely unsuitable for any kind of rest at all.
She scowled as best as a bird could do. The entire bed was messy and unkempt, with the pillows in all the wrong places. Not only that, books were strewn across the surface of the bed, making for poor napping material. She walked daintily around the piles of hardbound books, rounding a particularly large stack to find one of the books open beside a pillow.
With a tiny unicorn reading it.
Philomena was confused. It wasn’t every day that she could see a pony that was smaller than she was, and furthermore, the pony in question was in her owner’s room, a place which had always been empty. Furthermore, the pony was resting on a fluffy pillow that should have been her resting spot. Was this unicorn a thief who had snuck in, or had her owner found a new pony-shaped pet to replace her?
The phoenix made a quiet, hesitant step towards the unicorn, unsure of whether to act on her curiosity or her sudden indignation. On one claw, she very much wanted to remove the intruder from her territory, a task she could easily accomplish by either a quick breath of her flames or a swift toss out the nearby balcony. On the other claw, she was still decently hungry, and a tiny pony would make for some amusing entertainment before she decided to eat her in the end.
Philomena quickly discarded the eating idea as she approached quietly. The tiny creature in front of her was, rather unfortunately, a bit big to gulp down, and using her sharp beak would only make an unsightly mess of the bed. In fact, attempting to evict the pony would likely result in more collateral damage than she would like if her prey resisted, and there was no need to spoil her return home with the bed in an even worse condition than it currently was.
The phoenix had suddenly realized that she was much closer to the pony than she thought, perhaps more than a bit distracted by her musings. The pony was oblivious, completely absorbed in her book about...
Philomena had to take a closer look before she realized that the illustration was of a pony with butterfly wings. She shook her head at the sheer inanity of it all before focusing on her still clueless target. With a mirthful glint in her eye, she slowly lowered her beak close to one of the pony’s ears before making her presence known.
***
GWWWAAAAAAAK
Twilight immediately jumped, yelping in surprise as she stumbled off her pillow and landed inelegantly in a heap on her reading material. She hastily picked herself back up, a frown on her face as she turned to look at the source of the screech.
Her frown was quickly replaced by a careful, inquisitive look as she took in the image of the radiant red bird in front of her. That’s odd. I don’t think I’ve ever seen a bird like this while I explored the Royal Gardens, and I’m not sure if most of those would be brave enough to fly into the princess’ bedchambers. I must have missed it somehow, but how could I have missed such a brightly colored bird?
Twilight took a step forward, pointing her tiny hoof at the bird. “I’ve never seen you before. What kind of bird species are you?” she asked curiously, before facehoofing. “How silly of me. I forgot you can’t speak,” she giggled.
Philomena looked confusedly at Twilight before spreading her wings and shrieking again, but the unicorn in front of her was anything but intimidated. “Wow, you have really nice looking wings, and red suits you,” Twilight complimented. “I’m sure I’ve read a book about a bird that looks just like you, but I can’t remember... What was it?”
The phoenix was very much confused by her prey’s attitude, and, curious, she took a few steps forward and gently prodded the tiny unicorn with her beak, taking a close look over her. “Wow, you are one friendly bird. Would you mind if I take one of your feathers for my research?” Twilight asked cheerfully, taking a hold and spreading the phoenix’s wing with her tiny hooves.
Philomena glared angrily at the tiny creature who had dared examine her as if she was a toy, and in response, she sent a wave of magic through her wing, setting it aflame and burning the tiny unicorn for her shameless action. Philomena chortled to herself, fluffing up her chest as Twilight stumbled away in shock.
Twilight shook her head in surprise, the smell of burnt fur becoming very evident. Ignoring the small hints of pain, she lit her horn and cast healing magic on herself, restoring her burned fur back to its former glory. “That was amazing! I had no idea you could do that!” She shouted enthusiastically and once again ran up to the bird in front of her, curiously studying the wings that had burned her just moments ago.
Philomena watched in confusion as this tiny unicorn was now even more eager to touch her wing than ever before. Scowling, she once again burst her wing into flames, though the creature in front of her jumped back before the flames could strike her.
“I’ll need to cast a scanning spell to analyze those flames. Can you do that again?” Twilight asked, her horn charged and ready.
The phoenix blinked. Was it toying with her? In a burst of anger, she swept up the tiny unicorn into both of her wings, setting them to burn at an even higher temperature than before. After a few seconds to teach the troublemaker a lesson, she doused her flames and released her prey, only to find that an opaque purple magic bubble had replaced it.
Confused, she poked the bubble a few times with her beak, only to jump back in surprise as the bubble vanished, revealing the tiny unicorn. “I’m starting to think that you don’t like me, Mister Bird,” the pony said, frowning.
Philomena screamed in frustration. Not only were her flames ineffective against this inferior creature, but this tiny simpleton dared to call her a male! Without thinking, she flew into the air and dove at Twilight, only for her target to jump to the left as her claws struck the pillow instead, causing it to explode in a puff of feathers and fabric.
Philomena flapped her wings, removing herself from the mess before looking guiltily at the destroyed pillow before her. “What have you done!” Twilight shouted. “I’ve slept on that for years, you know! Furthermore, you’re destroying Princess Celestia’s possessions!” She took a fighting stance, intently staring down the bird. “Calm down and behave yourself or I will have to restrain you by force.”
The phoenix rolled her eyes at the challenge. Though she couldn’t use her flames for fear of destroying the chamber, she was more than capable of taking out one small, insolent pony. With a screeching warcry, Philomena dove at the tiny unicorn, her claws extended, only to slam straight into a purple barrier, coming to a complete stop. She slid down the barrier into a feathered heap at its base.
Just as she was brushing herself off, the barrier vanished to reveal Twilight, her horn aimed at her enemy and her stunning spell fully charged. The angered bird moved swiftly once the barrier fell, diving at the pony once again while her prey was vulnerable.
The moment her target was close enough, Twilight shot the stunning spell, hitting her target directly in the breast before jumping to avoid the feathered projectile as it plowed into the bed paralyzed. With the phoenix stunned, she captured it a purple aura, levitating it closer to herself and staring it down. “I can’t let you damage my mentor’s property, so could you please calm down? Please?” Twilight pled, unsure if the big bird would listen to her.
Despite putting as much magic as Twilight could muster into her stunning spell, Philomena recovered quickly, blasting Twilight with an instantaneous fireball to the face.
Twilight fell flat to her back, covering herself with her hooves as the bird followed up with a flare of flames. Without her concentration and without a levitation spell to keep the phoenix immobile, it took only a moment before Twilight could feel sharp talons pinning her to the soft bed, the flames letting off as she was captured by the phoenix’s claws
The phoenix gave a victorious cry as she stood proudly above her prey, only to be captured by another levitation field. With a squawk, she was thrown back and slammed headfirst into the closest wall.
Steel Blade and Overwatch were used to loud noises caused by the adventuring little unicorn, however after a few odd shrieks and a solid crash of impact, they quickly rushed into the bedchamber.
“What’s going on?” Steel Blade asked sternly, quickly catching sight of Twilight lying on the unusually disheveled bed. His confusion was quickly replaced with worry the moment he noticed his tiny charge bleeding from a multitude of cuts.
“W-what happened, Twilight? How did you—” Steel Blade’s question was cut off by his partner, who prodded him sharply in the wing for him to turn around, noticing a red bird stuck firmly in a hole in the wall.
“So you’re responsible for hurting Twilight?” He said, scowling at the phoenix as he began to approach it. “I’ll teach you—”
Steel Blade was suddenly stopped by a levitation field. “You’d better think before you do something you’ll regret, Steelie. You do realize that that phoenix belongs to the princess, right?” Overwatch said firmly.
“P-phoenix? P-princess Celestia’s pet?!” Twilight shouted in panic, straightening up in shock. “I assaulted Princess Celestia’s pet! Oooh, this is bad! She’ll be angry with me, and she’ll scold me, or lock me in the dungeon!”
Twilight’s panic attack stopped quickly once she felt Spike’s hand on her back. “Jeez Twilight, another panic attack already? The Princess will never lock you in the dungeon,” he said, having just come back from his four hour long bubble bath. He looked over the disaster zone of a bedchamber, wishing he had stayed in the tub a little longer before turning to the bird, who had just released herself from the wall. “And you are in a big trouble,” he growled, the fires of determination and rage in his eyes.
***
In the next five minutes, Celestia’s bedchamber had swiftly become a dress rehearsal for Ragnarok. Spike had jumped at the phoenix, ready to punish it for hurting Twilight. Philomena flew into the air to evade his attack, counterattacking with blast of flames, though it proved ineffective due to Spike’s fireproof scales. To everypony’s horror, the flames that slid harmlessly from Spike’s scales quickly spread across the room, catching the bed, bookshelves and even some of the books on the floor on fire.
Twilight, in her panic, flushed the books with a freezing spell, hoping to save them from an untimely demise. Overwatch quickly removed the untouched books to safety before levitating off her armor to smother the flames with. Steel Blade was trying to restrain Spike, who, unable to move and with Philomena extending her tongue in a mocking gesture, attacked her with a fire breath of his own, only for the bird to chortle at the flames that wrapped around her.
Twilight and Overwatch saved as much as they could before they focused on the two combatants. Philomena dove towards Spike, her claws raking uselessly against his thick scales as Spike freed himself from Steel Blade’s hold, attacking Philomena’s tail with his claws as Steel Blade suddenly found himself with two to restrain, accumulating a few scratches and burns from his efforts.
Overwatch rolled her eyes before she restrained Philomena with her levitation spell, Twilight doing the same with the baby dragon. “Spike,” Twilight shouted, “stop it this instant! Your fight almost caused the destruction of valuable literature!”
Philomena once again stuck her tongue out but was quickly shaken by Overwatch’s levitation field. “And you, little troublemaker, are in very deep trouble. You haven’t been here for a looong time, but not only did you almost set this entire room on fire, you’ve also assaulted Princess Celestia’s personal student!” Overwatch shouted, causing the phoenix to gulp and point her wing towards the dragon and the tiny unicorn, both of whom were busy checking book after book, Twilight clearly very distraught over their terrible fate.
“Oh no, you won’t be shoving the blame on others, Little Miss Innocent. Princess Celestia’s going to be back to see exactly what you’ve done, and let me tell you, I won’t be cleaning this crap up.” Overwatch said, scowling at the bird in her grasp.
“Excuse me Miss Overwatch, but it wasn’t her fault. Spike and I provoked her,” Twilight said, her tiny head hanging low in shame.
“Hey!” Spike said, frowning and crossing his arms. “I just tried to protect you and teach this fiery excuse of a bird a lesson!”
***
After a few minutes, Twilight had convinced Spike that she was perfectly fine and that he should not attack or provoke the Princess’s pet anymore. Philomena remained docile under the watchful eye of Overwatch, shooting quick glares at the charcoal unicorn and at Spike.
Steel Blade flew back from the princess’s storage area, bringing back a fairly large birdcage gilded with gold. He looked sternly at the phoenix. “You are going into this cage until the princess comes back,” Steel Blade stated firmly, opening the cage and pointing his hoof for the bird to enter.
“But it’s not her fault! I started it, if anypony! Maybe I should stay in the cage while we wait.” Twilight said, the phoenix eagerly nodding her head in agreement.
“But Twilight, she hurt you!” Spike stated, giving the phoenix an angry glare.
“But if I hadn’t touched her wings and threatened her, she wouldn’t have attacked me. I started it, so I’m staying in the cage.” Twilight said firmly, her forelegs crossed as she sat between the phoenix and the others.
Philomena smirked, finding this opportunity too good to be true. With a sweep of her wing, she pushed Twilight into the birdcage, and with a flick of her other wing, she closed it. Twilight blinked a few times in confusion as she laid upside down, glaring at the amused phoenix.
“What do you think you’re doing, you stupid bird?!” Steel Blade shouted, moving to open the cage.
“It’s fine, it’s fine.” Twilight said as she stood back up on her hooves, “I already said that I should be punished, and I am going to stay in this cage until Princess Celestia returns,” she stated sternly, much to everyone’s surprise. Philomena burst out into a squawking laugh, finding a unicorn who would willingly place all the blame on herself the best prank target she could ever hope for.
Overwatch simply heaved a sigh, levitating over a large pile of the toasted books and selecting one from the middle. “This is going to be a long day. I can already tell.”
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I don't think Philomena's going to get the last laugh in this one. Once Celestia gets back tiny Twilight will be released and the flaming bird will get her due.
I fear what would happen if Twilight were able to give herself phoenix wings due to Philomena letting her to examine them.
Neat chapter though Philomena could have thought things out better, though she is an "Animal" and acts on what she knew before hand but things could have gone better, but if they did then we wouldn't have a chapter to read and it would've been boring as some people would say.
3607450
That would be both awesome and terrifying at the same time.
It would be interesting to see Celestia's reaction to this event.
3607321
Oh, I am sure she isn't going to be happy. I mean, her student locked in a cage, her bedchamber half burned, yea, that's quite a mess what the bird will need to pay for.
3607450 3607887
Sadly it is not that simple. Giving pony a butterfly wings is already a big deal, and Twilight is working hard to create a spell what can give a pony pegasus wings ( alongside with changing target's bones and part of it's magic type ), but getting phoenix wings seems far to advanced even for her to do.
3607606
Philomena is smart, but she is still a pet, and a pet what was away from Canterlot for many, many years, she just behaved on instinct and limited info.
3608049
Just wait a bit longer, I am going to upload next bonus chapter what will show what happens next with the phoenix. And I will also update Bonus chapter - "Past and Memories" with few stuff base on season 4 informations and I will write a blog what will show what changed.
So stay tuned.
3607450
3609363
Phoenix wings aren't that much of a stretch (super long-term). Twilight's working on flight, and we know that unintentional self-immolation (Feeling Pinkie Keen) is possible for her. It just wouldn't be feasible before Nightmare Moon shows up though.
...that bird is a total troll
She may be a pet, but she has shown the ability to think through her actions, she knew she was being mean, and thoroughly enjoyed it. All due to a superiority complex.
...Oh pony feathers, it's Trixie in bird form
Ah, Spike's patented four hour bubble baths~
It’s probably not in the cards for later, but it might be kind of cool if Twilight loses her protection spell, and animals like Philomena become more of a possible danger. Would be fun to see Twilight in a bit of danger.
A wild Philomena has appeared!
Mayhew's Log: Bonus Ch - The Return of Philomena... The answer is yes, I was hoping for a good old fashioned celebrity death match, Twinylight Sparkle vs. Philomena! And Twi ends up killing the bird and gets really upset over it... yeah, a brony can dream... or I can write it... Dang it! I have too much writing on my plate already... well on to the next... Oh fine I'll say something nice... I forgot about Philomena until I saw the chapter title Then I was excited to see how Twiny would react to a giant fire bird in her "bed". So on to the next chapter. Allons y!
3609363 that Pheonix needs to be drowned.
5086117 No, she needs to be exposed to The Stare, Twiny's Adorable Face and This Face: fc02.deviantart.net/fs70/f/2012/361/a/7/applebloom_by_pasuri98-d5pdpyb.png
all at the same time!
5100154
Please...
If you give me insulin now I might yet survive.
SCIENCE!
imgs.xkcd.com/comics/the_difference.png
6938711 XD SO TRUE.
3609363 this is why I hate bird they are jerks an should go to hell.
Wow, this chapter is seriously hilarious!
7431460
It's a phoenix. It would think you sent it on a luxury vacation.
Send it to Stygia, now...it's so cold the icicles have icicles.
I'll admit I was hoping for some 'Tom and Jerry' esk mayhem