• Member Since 16th Sep, 2012
  • offline last seen March 11th

ClickClackTheBrony


I'm back, and I'm bluer than ever.

T

Kujuta lives his life as a wanderer, feared by raiders and often hated by ponies due to his background as a war-era Zebra. When he meets Salsa, an enthusiastic pony who sees him as a hero, he joins him on a mission to save the ponies of Sunbeam Bay. But Blacktail's gang of pirates may not be the only danger to Kujuta: perhaps he has more to fear from himself.

Written for the Fallout: Equestria group's 500 member contest. It may appear to have more words than the limit, but that is due to this site. When shown in Gdocs or Word, it should be exactly 5000. Salsa is my character in the Turn of an Era roleplay group, and his origin story (actually about his mentor) can be found here.

Chapters (1)
Join our Patreon to remove these adverts!
Comments ( 5 )

Ooh, is this a continuation for my favorite one-shot? As in, a sequel? I shall read it when I am able! :pinkiehappy:

2660759 Essentially. Once again, he takes backseat to a ghoul though :twilightsheepish:

2661150 Well, I guess I'll find out the specifics. :twilightsmile:

"The zebras are rebuilding easily, as they have always been able to live off the land, but there is no radiation for me there. Meanwhile, the ponies never cease to suffer, yet I require this place to live. "

So far I know is there lots of radiation down there, Ditsy are after all taking trips to gather radiated soil for her and other ghouls in Zebraca in the last chapter.

I must say, I am amazed by this story. That you can put something like the element of the fisher tribe into something so small, and yet still have so much room to spare, see that is skills that I like and wanted to show the group when this contest was thought on!

Maybe was it a little much to say that Kujuta was able to impale a whole three Wonderbolts at ones, but else would I mean that this is one of the best one shorts that I have ever read, it is at least the one where I have thought most have happened in least time.

Nitpicks:
"the bullet pushed itself out," You have forgotten the capital letter.
"plus a letter with a rough map of the nearby coast town, Sunbeam Bay ." You have a space to many in the end here.
"I placed a hoof on his shoulder and firmly said" You are missing some punctuation in the end of this sentence.
"Where exactly did you find this pony?" You hit enter in the middle of this sentence, maybe do you want to use a space instead
" It stabbed into the chest of a blue stallion a fire-maned mare in the center of the group," You are missing a comma to separate the two first ponies from each other
"with the Wonderbolts taking losses but devastating my crew with their greater firepower" You have a double space in this sentence

Comment posted by MarkTheWolfpony deleted Jan 2nd, 2014
Login or register to comment
Join our Patreon to remove these adverts!