The Apple and The Rainbow

This is my first ever MLP Fanfiction, yay! I wrote this cuz I have writers block on my other fanfiction.....

This is just an appledash oneshot........

I don't know if you can tell, but I'm terrible at ending stories so...please excuse the crappy ending!

Chapters (1)

Comments ( 7 )

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EmeraldFlash

EmeraldFlash #1 · May 2nd, 2013 · · ·

Well written, nice wording BUT It doesn't seem right. Like honestly, I love you Applejack.... The story just did not interest me. But well written.

SilentEchos

SilentEchos #2 · May 2nd, 2013 · · ·

You certainly understand the concept of a decent story. I enjoyed this. If I could make a few small suggestions: One, the characters, while acting as they often do in this ship, seem emotionally distant as a reader; Two, For whatever reason, the tension here wasn't as strong as I had expected. Three, indent your paragraphs, please, it doesn't make this unbearable to read but will easily earn you down votes.

Often in these stories there is some possibly unrequited love and yet in your story they both like each other without much, if any conflict, save Dash's own anxiety. I think that having some explanation, so more in depth conversations and some exploration of each characters feelings. For instance, why didn't AJ tell Rainbow? Why was RD so shocked to find that AJ was bisexual? These are all things that RD could've asked which could lead to a deeper story.

All that aside, this is great AppleDash fluff.

AppleFire-Fan99

AppleFire-Fan99 #3 · May 5th, 2013 · · ·

Cute one-shot. And it was good to see Rainbow put a stop to that parachuting cutie mark idea. Even if she didnt mean to. Couldnt see how that would turn out well for the CMC.

Coco-loco