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"Before the terror" is a story of Brightsmile as a child, well before she became a insane flesh wanting mare.
She loves healthy teeth and hates sweets. So of course she'd be the butt of a joke and the girl to be picked on the most...
Who would be HER friend? Well... Maybe a kid or 2... But most likely...
A Demon who has a love of crimson...
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Really Nice Background story
I am looking forward to more!
2515872
I might have been more interested had I actually known the character this is providing a backstory of, might have to check that out. Fortunately though because I don't i can look at this from an unbiased standpoint.
Your main character was well done, the personality showed clearly. The setting was unfortunately a little underdeveloped, I honestly had the image of the punching bag floating in the air when you first introduced it. The fact that you had to actually describe the bully characters after you were done with the story does an emphasis of how poorly the job was done describing them in the first place. Finally the story as a whole was not very original... The idea of possesion has passed from being original to being overused, and a classic group to which the reader can determine hatred toward is just as much so.
However, you didn't do a bad job of it in the end. I'd rate it about a 4.6 out of 10, and I'm going to be nice and give you the upvote anyway because it really looks like you need it...
-CC
2516746
Well I understand the problem with detail... I work on these in school and I can't review it myself when I finish. Thanks for brining that to my intention though.
As for the possession. I don't care if the idea is unoriginal, I simply enjoyed the thought of having a evil force do things in the body of a innocent being such as Brightsmile.
Over all I am thankful for your review. And i'll fix my errors when I can.
I am thinking of changing the very first chapter.
3 dislikes is really bothering... This time i'll take a slower job and try to make it way better. I'll keep a lot of it but there will be plenty of changes. 
Wow... after reading that guy's review again and glancing at the story once more... i really should start redoing it sooner... i can try staying up later and see if i can begin adding detail, and maybe make a more... interesting fight scene...
once i do i might lable gore on this story...