I have decided to seek help from a professional. I have signed up for individual psychotherapy and I will expect their call in the next couple of days for a brief screening.

I've been thinking about this for a very long time and I've been apprehensive because of how expensive it is, but anything is better than nothing. Since I've been saving a lot of income, I'm going to spend some of it for useful purposes and therapy is going to be one of them.

Applejack is a farm girl... I mean farm mare that works long hours. Does she show signs of workaholism? So what is the difference between a work addiction and a healthy work ethic?

This video was made due to popular demand... 2 years after the fact. Hallelujah!

I have a lot of diagnosis. Bipolar type two. High Functioning Autism Spectrum Disorder. Gender Dysphoria. Attention Deficit Disorder. Executive Dysfunction Disorder. Post-traumatic Stress Disorder. These are fun as they all mix together in just the most fun ways. Can't pay attention because of the ADD, can't force through it because of the EDD, Don't have people in part thanks to ASD, in a depressive swing downwards thanks to the Bipolar, and fucking stressed because of all of that and the

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2023 is almost over.

Quite a few things have happened.

I got a new job and my mental health has improved since then.

I've been creating again after over a year of nothing. I'm hoping to sell at a con just to say I tried.

I also got engaged.

I've felt like a failure, merely existing. I hated it. Feeling the way I did absolutely sucked. Now I'm slowly finding myself again. I'm doing a little better now.

I'm thankful I'm still alive.

So I was at the therapist today and was telling her how I love to walk the dog at 3 AM when it's snowing, and how I've been collab writing with a friend every early morning (until recently due to contests,) and she went:

"Haha geez Pickle, when do you sleep~?"
"Oh! I sleep at..."
"..."
"U- uh."

So the RCL did its Bronycon thing, and we somehow ended up with a consensus that Monochromatic wrote the best story in the fandom, that my husband (we can all dream) Aragon placed, and I got an honourable mention. I also did very well in the online polling for submissions.

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For those few of you who actually cared to notice, I've been gone for a while.
The reason's are many, and they are personal as well.
All that need be said is that I've had some time to think, and I've begun to make stories again.
The latest work follows the character of Spitzer, an ex-patriot pony soldier in the ranks of the Voroshian Military as seen in Born of Rage.
It's a time-skipping collection of memoirs and events that help to flesh out the character.

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Long time no see. I haven't exactly been active on this site as of late. The truth of the matter is that I have been incredibly busy, from starting a new job, to going through the process of seeking therapy for my personal demons.

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Just what the title says. This is what I learned in the past almost six weeks since February 25th. The CGI announcement for Generation 5 wrecked me in a dimension that I thought isn't possible. The 2D animation of Generation 4 holds a big, personal meaning to me that is as specific as it is private. I approached more analyses of Generation 5 only in very small steps since

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The psychiatric service sent me 4 intake forms via email. I filled out all of it and sent those to them. I scheduled my intake interview to take place next week. Wish me luck!

At this moment as I begin to write this is the story that sits atop the feature box. It brought back a conversation That I had with a friend I have made on here some months back. We had discussed our own life situations in the past, and that day, for whatever reason I told him of an observation I have made.

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Hi everyone, how are you all?

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“What we are seeing right now in the era of increasing polarization is the consequence of a serious war of ideas that has been going on for, I suppose, one hundred and fifty years.” [1]

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Trigger Warning: the following is an in-depth, candid article about emotional trauma and the resulting suicidal ideation, written by someone with severe C-PTSD.

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Today, I got the John Green Novel Turtles All The Way Down.

Today, I finished it.

Today, I felt the need to make a blog post about how this book affected me and inspired my story Hidden.

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In this post, I'm going to be talking a bit about my thought process during writing this, and why I wrote it the way I did. I'm also going to be talking about where I'm going with the story, because some people (at least two people! I'm so popular ) seem to be interested in that. So, if you want to just skip to that, it's one of the last paragraphs.

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I feel silly here, well I did until I Googled "MLP and PTSD"... I was a bit surprised and a little excited to see so many results. I of course wish none of us(those with PTSD and other Mental Health problems who found solace in a cartoon about ponies) had this at all. I have alot to say on the matter however find myself unable to write right now(a lack of time and a surplus of painful hands). I do want to just express how awesome it is that there is others, it's very typical for me to feel

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so this is your warning , cause like trigger warnings are a thing I believe in. SI

I attempted suicide on monday. I am still out of it though out of the hospital now. Really kinda not recovered which of course is going to effect my ability to write for a while. Still I am going to be working on my stories when i can but yeah today is not that day.

Next story involves the sexual exploitation of the mentally disabled. My ancestors must be smiling upon me.

So. Quick thing before anything else:

Firstly, thank you to the few of you who saw my last post and lent me some caring words. I just wanted to quickly say you have all been seen and heard and very much appreciated, even if I didn't respond.

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