4430550

Thank you.

4430550 The following stories have no chapters anymore, just a fyi [and not totally because I am a bastard].

Twilight Star: The Unknown Power

The Symphony of Canterlot

4430779 What is the meaning of this sorcery?!

4430791 No clue, I'm just a evil bastard who looking out of boredom at the story list and noticed these facts! It's got nothing to do with my being #21 on the to review list [#20 after the removal of the 0 word story] But I should really get back to putting out more chapters. Just hit #152 in length on the website, currently considering deleting a few chapters on my own just to get your interest.

4430806 I don't like strange magicks.

Well, the review should be pretty quick for those two.

4430835 HA

Title: Ab Initio- From the Start- Al Principio

Description:

For many, "Lesson Zero" was the episode where FiM metaphorically "grew the beard", since it established that Twilight's duty to send reports weekly ended.

However, the events could have taken a different direction entirely.

For the example, what if the Mane 5 did the sane thing at the wrong moment? What if Celestia wasn't so merciful towards Twilight? And to make things worse, Ceelestia got a sadistic sense of humor and an idea for an untraditional punishment?

How will Twilight act during her stay in one of her biggest fears and a total opposite of her usual orderly life?

Find out in this story!

Reason for why it's worth reading: Thanks (or, more likely, in spite of) the main material it tends to centers around, it's something where I put a lot effort in organizing and expanding, attempting to create a proper Alternate Universe and some major worldbuilding implied behind everything. I admit that the grammar is awfuul, but I'm costantly re-reading it for weed otu things I've missed at the first, second, third, fourth, fith, sixth etc. passage.

4456387 Well, I'm willing to see if the story can counterbalance the grammar. Adding to list.

Title: The Fall of Cloudsdale

Description: Flying far above the ground was not enough to protect Cloudsdale from the hunger of Tirek. He devoured the magic there--the same magic that held the city together and that let pegasi walk on intangible clouds.

Amidst the destruction of his home, a father searches desperately for his daughter.

Reasons for why it's worth reading: I don't know how many stories have been written about the consequences of magic being stolen from ponies, but I know I haven't seen one covering this scale of destruction. I've breathed shape and life into the city of Cloudsdale, smoothly, I like to think, integrating it into the story without dropping factboxes on you. And with Cloud Break and Chirpy Hooves, I give the reader a personal, emotional investment into the story that a mere description of destruction could never replicate.

4456467 Didn't you put it in the wrong folder? Shouldn't it be in "Pending Review" rather than in "Submissions: Submit Other People's Work Here"?

4195380

Title: Fleeting Flames

Description: Being trapped in a world full of colorful ponies was the last thing that Mark thought would happen to him. He also didn't expect to be living in the clouds with two pegasus mares.

He has limited knowledge of these mares, and it already seems like they aren't going to get along. Mark's also certain that Spitfire wants to strangle him, while Fleetfoot seems to be indifferent about him.

He really wished that he could be staying with someone better, but no one else would take him. Hopefully, if he plays his cards right, he might make it through the rest of his life without any problems.

Reason: A different path from my other writing, and I want to branch out to more uncommon ponies that aren't written. Story has a mix of comedy, romance, and sadness.

Thanks for the consideration.

4457392 Oh, hey, look, I forgot about you.

Whoops! Adding to list.

4468944 Submissions thread and a PM? Someone wanted to make sure I got the memo.

Considering I missed the last guy for three days, I don't blame you. Adding to the list.

4468964 Not a problem.

Title: Fluttershy Takes Manehattan

Description: Coco Pommel, now an independent designer, arrives in Ponyville to ask a favour from a friend. Fluttershy and Rarity go with her to Manehattan to help her with a fashion show.

Reasons for why it's worth reading: Coco Pommel being cute. Fluttershy being perhaps even cuter. Rarity being generous with her time and effort. I ship two of the ponies, but if you want to find out which, then you need to read it. You accepted my last submission, and I think this one's better. That enough?

4478629 Yes. Adding to the list.

Title: My Friend Tenty

Description: Accused of an attack on a pony village, Tentacle ponies send their representative to clear up the issue with Celestia. The ambassador, however, does not come alone, as Sweetie Belle finds out.

Reason: This is one of my best stories. It also won a writing competition. It got a spin off before it was even published. With this story, I explore new horizons and build a world that you probably haven’t come across yet. If you want to get your mind assaulted, this is the fic for you.

Title: The Rise of The Changelings

Description: For reasons currently unknown, an apocalyptic event befalls upon Equestria. The ponies are now left scattered all in various places among the world. The changelings are unaffected and find that they are the most numerous and advanced species on the planet, they see an opportunity to dominate. So they turn to Chrysalis to lead them to glory.

Reason: As I'm new, I need feedback to improve on it and though I heard good responses, I need more. The story is narrated by some guy who cares not for the so called "fourth wall" and has a few branching storylines each from different perspectives. It's a story that needs to be known to those who like it when things start to come together. It's also best to consider the first short eight chapters as an introduction.

4482518 But Baaaad, every time people try to assault my mind I don't have fun. It turns out I like not being attacked by stories!

*sigh* adding to list anyway.

4483012 Ummm, not adding this to the list, though. I appreciate that, as a beginning author, you want, and need, feedback, but it's not our job to give it to you. What we want are stories that have a chance of actually getting in, and I don't really know what it being narrated by a guy who breaks the fourth wall should bring to the story.

Maybe explain why a naive and innocent reader might enjoy such a riveting tale? Without saying that other people enjoyed it?

Because that's like saying that because Michael Bay movies make a lot of money, obviously they're good. That ain't logic.

4483237 Fair enough. Why a naive and innocent reader might enjoy such a riveting tale?
The story is worded to build its world to where one can imagine the locations quite well.
The action flows smoothly so one can keep pace with every jab of a spear, swing of an axe, and strike of a hammer.
The reader will follow the changeling swarm as it builds its way towards a empire and the discovery of the detailed world.
The narrator will stick to the story but will make his smile worthy comedic quips when the moment is right.
So when you ask why this story deserves its place on your list I say that it has stelar dialog and memorable characters that will stick with the reader throughout the story. The reader will be thrilled by the life or death situations that each character will be faced with. The reader will be shocked and awed by the growing changeling empire as it heads to glory or destruction.
So, does this fic deserve the chance to be on your list? To that I say, absolutely.

Now, is that a pitch or what?

Quick question, is there any order to when you're reading and reviewing stories? Or are you just picking whatever strikes your fancy?

4483490 Much better. Adding to the list.

4483720 I don't impose a strict order to our reviews. I tend to try and review in some semblance of chronological order unless I get really really bored, but I only give the others very broad directions. Reviews go faster when they're done to suit the reviewer, after all.

4484512

True enough. Plus, if you tell someone who likes comedy stories to review a Darkfic, chances are there will be a bit of bias.

4484513 Some level of bias is inevitable. Thankfully, due to the reviews, it becomes quite clear when no arguments are being provided. I've also seen a good number of my reviewers get over their bias very effectively (most notably Winter, who has accepted a surprising number of HiE for someone who doesn't like them).

It's why I started the reviews in the first place: to provide a transparent judging system. Reviews are also fun.

Title: Luna's Turn

Description: Luna, still a bit unhappy at Celestia for banishing her to the moon for a thousand years, wants to have a small, tiny taste of vengeance. To be exact, she wants to send Celestia to the Sun.

So what is Luna going to do first?

Ask Celestia for permission, of course. Complications eventually occur.

Reason: This story, like the majority of my other stories submitted here, is a short, funny and light-hearted quick read. It shows a few characters discussing and arguing over an extremely ridiculous subject in a comedic manner. I think this is an interesting and funny read to anyone curious to how things would end up judging by the description.

4487775 You got it. Adding to the list.

4488892 Just for laughs.

Just for laughs.

Just for laughs?

Just for laughs?!

...adding to the list.

I SUBMIT!

Title: Drive You Insane

Coverart:

Basic Description: When you love someone, you love someone. But it can drive even the sanest of ponies to madness when the love isn't returned... For Rarity, she has her eyes set on the most unlikely of suitors, and everything seems to be working out for the better between the two. That is, until the tables turn on her, and another mare reveals to have affections for the same draconequus. And the worst part is that she's winning him over.

Tags: Dark, Slice of Life, Romance

Reason: A girl can dream, can't she? Anyways, I think I took on an idea that's not done to death, and tried to take a ship never seen before and turn it into something grand, I guess.

Rated M for mature, look it up to find it.

4490604 Sweet. Adding to the list.

4195380 Okay, we're doing this. After weeks of hedging and hesitating, midnight seems to be the perfect time for making decisions that normally petrify me with unfathomable terror. I definitely won't wake up tomorrow morning with regret in my soul.

Title: Crystal's Wishes

Description: As a filly, Crystal Wishes was content to just write about ponies falling in love. While her career takes off, her love life is a little… lacking. Can she be happy living vicariously through her stories, or will she find her own happy ending?

Reason for submitting: I know you don't care what others think, so I'll man up against my self-conscious fear of self-promotion and come right out and say it. Crystal's Wishes is Goodfic Bin material because it's an OC-centric slice of life that I believe doesn't fall victim to the common pitfalls surrounding both of those things. The OCs are dimensional characters and the tale isn't slow and/or boring. I believe my characters are enjoyable, my storytelling engaging, and my writing clean. I would never dare to say my grammar is flawless—I'll be the first to say it's not—but it's certainly better than average.

It's not completed but if I haven't earned a spot in 200,000 words, then I sure as heck ain't going to later. I'm sure it will be a while given its length but I look forward to the eventual decision, be it accept or reject, because I know you all are fair and honest judges. Especially you, HapHazred senpai please notice me

4495295 Sounds good enough to be checked out. Adding to the list.

You have been noticed.

4495842 Thank you!

In seriousness, I do respect this group and the effort you and the other reviewers put in to make it honest but fair. Thanks for all your hard work!

4195380

Two Cups of Cider

Pinkie pays Applejack a visit.

If you like slice of life and/or winter, you'll love this.

4496107 Can I get more of a reason than that? It's pretty short and doesn't really tell me much. Maybe elaborate?

4496248

My apologies.

This story is for people that like both Applejack and Pinkie, for people that like ponies being just friends, for people that like to get warm and cozy during the winter, and for people that like reading about the simplicity of life. I believe my story is intended for those people and more. The story attempts to show two friends spending time together on a January day. Pinkie loves spending time with Applejack as well as making sure she is happy, much like how she feels about her other friends.

4496270 Way better! Adding to the list,

Title: Poison

Description: Trixie asks Twilight out on a date to say sorry for all the trouble she's caused. But has she really changed? Or does she have an ulterior motive?

Reasons for why it's worth reading: It's a fluffy Twixie romance with themes of revenge, retribution, regret, redemption, and other stuff beginning with "re". You should read it because Soap Box's rejection of my last story made me do this… And because it's cute. (All my stories are cute. Except the clop. And even that's relatively cute.)

4499105 Sorry about this (since I directed you here) but we try to keep story popularity out of the equation when considering stories. I don't suppose you'd like to elaborate on the story itself rather than the reception it got? As in, something you tried to do with the characters, tone, and explain what you want the readers to take away from the story, that sort of thing.

4499105 Awesome. Adding to the list!

4496306 Cool beans. Also, that's a lot of 're's. Really, you should have that looked at.

Also, re the submission, I almost missed you if it wasn't for a buddy. Sorry about the late reply!

Title: Truth Earned from Honesty

Description: Many ages after the original adventures of the Elements of Harmony, a hybrid mare crosses the countryside, searching for the Element of Honesty. And just like the rest of her friends, Honesty is no longer just a simple bearer of her Element anymore.

She is her Element.

Reasons for why it's worth reading: As a follow-up to Lessons Learned from Loyalty (accepted), the second main installment in the Tutelary Spirit universe contains just as much, if not more, creativity, drama, and engagement that was contained within the previous installment and which motivated the reviewer to rate it akin to a masterpiece.

4506123 Adding to the list.

-Title: Alone

-Description:
A horror story in the general style of Stephen King - i.e. slice-of-life that gradually turns into a life-defining nightmare. Blurb: Twilight faces more than she bargained for when a resort island turns out very different from her expectations, and she must make a decision that will forever change how she sees herself.

-Reason you think the story is worth reading:
My intent in writing this story was to really get inside of Twilight's head, and explore how she would behave given a challenge quite unlike what she usually is faced with on the show. In this story, not only is she forced to rely on her own devices and face the unknown alone, but in the process she also comes to question her sense of self, her morals, and the responsibilities she faces as a not-so-ordinary member of Equestrian society. In that sense, it's a much more grown-up problem, and I think this resonated well with many readers on FIMfiction. Despite being only some 12.5K words long, it's my most popular story so far, with over 3300 reads. (It was also featured on EQD.) I submit it here because I'm proud of it, and because I still think there's room for improvement, both in this story and most certainly in my own abilities as a writer. I look forward to your feedback.

Adding both of them to the list. Good luck.

4509423
4510093

4510794

Murky buckets, buckaroo!

Title: The Legend of the Scorpion Queen

Description:

On the eve of the Day of Reaping, the start of the Equestrian Harvest, it is traditional that a legend be told over supper: the legend of how the traditions surrounding the Day of Reaping came to be. It is a story of love, ambition, and vengeance.

Long before Equestria, a grand Unicorn King maintains a splendid garden. On one of his travels he brings a scorpion back to live within it. That scorpion, resentful of being removed from her home, sets out to have her revenge.

Reason:
This story was a profoundly new direction for me: it is the first story where I've really tried to elicit an emotional response from the reader. While I understand that reception is not considered a criterion for inclusion here, what comments passersby have deigned to give me so far have been encouraging. The story in meant to have a somewhat mythical feel, since this is a piece of Equestrian folklore, rather than history, and I think that I've accomplished that idea well enough too.

Thanks for your consideration.

4534986 No link? >:(

It's fine. I found it myself. Had to press a whole extra button to get it. A whole extra button!

Added to the list.

4195380
Hi there! This is my submission:

Title: Dragon Story

Description:

Luna sets one of her night guard a task to save those in need. A quaint, easily readable story accompanied by drawings.

The story is tagged Everyone, Adventure and Dark, and is 4.3k words long.

Reason you think the story is worth reading: It has a simple and easily understandable plot, it shouldn't take too long to read through, and it has lots of drawings (almost one for every chapter). I was attempting a take on traditional storytelling, and I feel that it hasn't been done much, so I feel that it stands out as unique.
While a small amount of people have viewed it so far, it has been received rather positively.

Thank you!

4538502 Sounds cool. Adding to the list.

I do love it when a submission comes together.

4195380

Title:Sisters are awful

Description:They may be princesses, but Celestia and Luna are still sisters. Sisters that don't get along too well. And, like most older sisters, Celestia finds Luna to be extremely bothersome.

Luna loves her older sister and wants to be like her. But she can't, because Celestia doesn't feel like talking.

The reason why this fic is worth reading: It's a relatively short one shot that has a happy and fun vibe about it.it's also my first story I have written

4542945 Happy and fun vibe? Sure, I'll add that to the list.

4544845 Indeed Thanks