Vinyl Scratch walks into a bar. There is no punchline.

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Featured on Equestria Daily (6 Nov 2012)
Inducted to the Pony Fiction Vault (10 May 2013)
Dramatic Reading courtesy of Farnsey's Fanfiction Theatre 3000
Live-Reading courtesy of the Living Library Player Society

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Hey, everyone. OtterMatt here. Just for the record, I’m not coming back to FimFic. Not ever. I’m sorry to say it, but my life has moved on, as it were, and writing just isn’t a part of it anymore. That being said, I love these stories of mine very much. There’s a lot of myself that I put into them, and at least a couple people have told me that these stories meant a lot to them as well. So, for those people, and for anyone else who enjoys my work in the future, I’m charging my friend Spabble here with curating my completed stories. Thank you all for the love, the faves, and the support as I grew and learned. Keep doing what you love, and the best of luck to you all.

Rainbow Dash has become quite the mare since joining the 'Bolts. Brave, loyal, charming, and the fastest flier in all of Equestria to boot, and Spitfire would be lying if she said she didn't admire that and didn't find that more a little attractive.

Not that she has a crush or anything.

So after a good night out on the town, Spitfire decides to make an offer to Rainbow Dash to do something special. It's an offer Dash can't really refuse.

Unfortunately there are a couple factors Spitfire didn't account for.

A story of sex, friendship, small talk, and aggressive awkwardness.

Gracious thanks to CarcinoGeneticist for his proofreading support.

Part of the Shelf Cleaning Initiative

You're a letter-sorting unicorn who works at the same post office as Ditzy Doo. Sure, you're both good buddies, but a small part of you wonders if you could be something more. One day, Ditzy gives you a gift...