There's a new pony in Ponyville. She's perfect in every way. She's kind, fast, strong, beautiful, and is loved by virtually every pony she meets. But something seems off to Twilight. Something seems wrong. Very wrong... What horrible secret will she uncover?

A short trip to Canterlot with Rainbow Dash and Applejack is the perfect opportunity for Twilight to test out her new long-distance Teleportation spell. But a nasty cold dashes the hopes of a quick trip, and makes the spell disappear in smoke: instead of arriving in Canterlot, the three find themselves in the nearby Everfree Forest, and discover that their location is not the only thing that went wrong.

While Rainbow has exchanged her wings and tail for a straw blond tail, Applejack has acquired a rainbow tail as well as a pair of strong, blue wings.

While Twilight attempts to find a spell to return the body parts to their rightful owners, the others must attempt to deal with this situation... and with their changing feelings.

Sly Clop is a laid back slacker who runs one of Ponyville's only porn shops on Soresaddle Street. He is a regular customer of Hard Cider's "gentlecolt's club", the Knife and Apple, where he regularly shoots the breeze with Rainbow Dash, who's seen better days.

One day, his only employee quits, and he's forced to hire a new one, starting a new awkward relationship with Lyra, who needs cash. What follows is a lighthearted fic with dark undertones that I hope you'll enjoy.

And if I haven't convinced you enough by this point, no, this not a clopfic.

New cover image by mickf18 on deviantART (DeusExKane here).