Anon, Nobody's favorite Human, has tragically died due to gang-related violence.

Instead of spending the rest of eternity in limbo, Anon finds himself as the newest assistant to a magical princess who is also a Spirit of Chaos who also runs a casino for villains, who also happen to look like talking animals for some reason.

Surrounded by crazy psychopaths and creepy coworkers, Anon must use his super secret powers to make sure he remains on top of the villainous food chain so he can keep his cushy new job!

"What super secret powers?" You may ask.

Why, Being a human of course!

And also being dead, The dead part might also be important...

Anon thought he had it made, that his years of looking after and helping Celestia with her day-to-day affairs on the throne were over - unfortunately for him, he was only partially correct. With nothing but time on her hands, and a burning desire to make herself useful, his oversized and overpowered Princess drags him along to pursue more pedestrian professions...

Kinks Include: No kinks - well, there's a bit of unintended and awkward spiciness, but that hardly counts

Artwork by AnonTheAnon (Twitter @RealAnonTheAnon)

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Bjørn died. He fought hard against a foe who outclassed him and his party didn't help out of respect for his wishes. All he ever wanted was to see Quul once more, but instead he was dragged to an unknown world full of new possibilities and dangers. More importantly, a second chance. A second chance at life.

Bjørn isn't going to waste that chance. So that means dodging danger, avoiding contact with sentient life, and living in solitude. But will he really be left alone?

Oh, he wished.

Sex isn't in the story but it is implied or whatever, idfk, read the story and find out.

Changed the name because people don't like it.

Celestia travels to a far corner of her kingdom to investigate a rumor about a colt with strange, illicit cutie marks. She meets Radish Root, a boy whose marks make him an anomaly in the fabric of Equestria, a mystery to himself, and an outcast among society.
When Radish joins the Royal Guard just prior to the return of Nightmare Moon, he finds his life being complicated by all the changes coming to Equestria. His marks will lead him into adventure, intrigue, and trouble... but will they ever lead him to answers?

Proofreader: Slavenger Karl
Cover Art Gallery
Table of original characters
A reader is translating this story into Spanish. Check it out here.