//------------------------------// // Stöter // Story: Björn // by The_Chill_Author //------------------------------// “It was a pony emotion, Luna!” Celestia exclaimed, pacing back and forth in her room, the fireplace inside of her room burning bright with Luna sitting right next to it, a cup of tea in her magical grasp. Her eyes narrowed as Celestia paced. “Even beasts like Hydras can experience grief!” Luna claimed, stomping her hoof onto the ground with a huff. “You’re only digging a deeper grave for yourself, dear sister!” Celestia scoffed, “Oh really? Can a Hydra make a campfire?” Luna winced, as she had no feasible comeback for that. “Can a Hydra make a cabin?” “Birds make nests, don’t they?” Luna crossed her hooves, only for Celestia to groan, facehoofing herself. “You compared the beast to a Hydra, and now a bird? Make up your mind, Lulu.” Celestia shook her head, it was now Luna’s turn to groan. “I was making a comparison between animals, birds can make their homes, just like the beast, Hydra’s can cry, just like the beast; don’t you see?” Luna tilted her head, “There is no evidence that references or points to the beast being sentient.” “It was adding fuel to the fire!” Celestia made a point to pick up a log in her magic and chuck it into the fireplace. Standing on her hind legs and pointing at the fire with both her forelegs. To this, Luna has a simple rebuttal. “Animals learn behaviors from ponies.” She took a sip of her tea. Celestia’s eyes twitched and let out a frustrated yell that was so loud that if there wasn’t a mute spell casted on the room, she would be heard all the way from Trotland. Luna simply used cotton to muffle the shout.  “And Mother said that I was the loud one.” Luna teased as Celestia rubbed her temples with her hooves. “I… Can’t. I can’t understand the logic that you wield, it’s broken, please fix it, dear sister.” Celestia muttered, to which Luna replied swiftly. “If it isn’t broken, don’t fix it.” Luna chirped, with another groan from Celestia, she lay on the floor trying to think of the best course of action to handle the creature. There was a variety of ways she could approach the beast; don’t do anything and let the beast eventually wander into Ponyville and have the Elements try to befriend it - which would likely cast a mass panic among the townsfolk, if they couldn’t accept a Zebra for the longest time how could they accept a beast like that? She could also send in some guards to try and subdue it, then force it to Canterlot, however, that would make the beast angry and likely not want to talk with them. She could send the Elements in to try and befriend it, but it was too risky, there isn’t enough data on the beast for her to judge if it would be aggressive or not.  So many ideas, so many fail- She had an idea. A comical lightbulb appeared over her head, “EUREKA!” She exclaimed, jumping to her feet. “I know just what to do!” Luna put her teacup away from her mouth, wiping the leftover tea from her lip with a cloth. “And what do you wish to do?” Celestia grinned. The winter wind didn’t blow hard, but it didn’t make it less difficult to be outside; for most, but not for Bjørn, he was used to this cold. It reminded him of home, back on the Island of Bjørnnar, where he was born and raised. On his home island, life was relatively simple, and as a child the fun things he would do still make him excited to this day. On some occasions, his father would play ball with him, sometimes they would play catch, sometimes they would play football, and every single time, the ball would break, and his father would promise to buy an even better one. With the loot that his father came back with after every Viking raid, he had no doubt about that fact as he would come back with a ball from lands unknown to Bjørn, and they would play ball. Hand to hand fighting was also a fun activity to do, there was always so much excitement when skill clashes against skill, due to his natural strength he usually won most of them, and other times got his ass handed to.  He remembered the jobs that his mother would send him on a quest for; shopping for food, medicine, helping the neighbors out with their cattle, babysitting was also a job. He did have seven siblings, and he was the oldest, so he had to be their shield and their axe for them.  When he got the chance, he would meditate. Meditation wasn’t necessarily a fun thing to do, but rather, it helped him clear his mind. Sometimes when he would meditate, his mind would wander and drift to stories that his mother and father told him. His mother would read him poems and sing songs before bed, and his father would share his stories as a Viking during the day. Some of his father’s stories were brutal and scary, and his mother’s poems and singing were calming and peaceful. As much as he loved his mother’s poems and singing, he adored the stories his father told. After every successful raid, he would give Bjørn the ball and say, “Would you like to hear this story?” and to which Bjørn would always nod his head. But then, one day, his father never came back from a raid. He wasn’t there, there was not a ball for Bjørn, not even a story, just tears. Bjørn blinked away his tears before they froze and trained his focus back on the river in front of him. The river hadn’t frozen over completely, only bits and pieces of it were truly starting to freeze over, he used the opportunity to gather fish with a spear. Why a spear, you may ask? It’s because it's too cold to fish with his bare hands, or should I say bear hands, haha, I’m the King of Comedy! Bjørn plunged the spear into the icy cold depths of the river and pierce the scales of an unsuspecting fish. Bjørn raised the fish out of the water and saw as it flopped on the spear, its blood trickling down the wooden frame of the weapon. He watched as it slowly stopped flopping altogether and went limp. He shrugged as he took it off the spear and lumped it inside a net adjacent to his bare feet - which he made to hold the fish. He stabbed the spear into the snow and picked up the net with his arms, holding it over the river. Then, with all his might, he squeezed the net full of bleeding fish. Making the blood pour out the dead fishes and into the river, turning a part of it crimson as it went down to parts unknown.  Some of the fish's blood spilled over at Bjørn’s chest, but he just moved along, picking up the net with one arm, and grabbing the spear from the snow with the other. He begins to march back to the cabin, and as he does that, he fixes his Grizzly jacket he made for himself. While yes, he was used to the cold, his human body didn’t like it and would get sick because of it. It was annoying, yes, but it also made good use of the corpse of Mama Bear. He had used Mama Bear’s fur as a cloak for himself, the head of the majestic Grizzly sat on his own like a cap and its fur protected his shoulders and ribs from the cold. Bjørn had also grown a beard, and while it wasn’t big and as grand as his forefathers, it did make him appear intimidating. Which was good; he was a Viking, he was supposed to be intimidating, strong, big, and durable, however the beard took away from his age. He liked looking relatively young, so he might have to snip it off. It didn’t take long for him to arrive at his cabins, arriving from the buildings and walking between the two of them. As he passed them, he glanced at the cabin Mama Bear and her cubs were supposed to live in. He had thought about what he should do with the cabin now that they’re gone, should he make it into a storage unit, a meditation chamber, or a second home? He would decide that another day as he marched past it and into his front lawn. He spotted a hole a few feet away from his cabin. It was filled with water; it was wide and as deep as a barrel. Bjørn stabbed his spear into the ground yet again and poured the fish corpses into the hole.  The fishes slushed around the hole and some leftover blood spilled into it, but Bjørn didn’t care as it wasn’t enough to contaminate his food supply. He let out a deep sigh, his breath visible from the cold. He marched over to his spear and picked it up, he turned his attention to his front door, approaching it. He grabbed the wooden door handle and opened his door to head inside. He shut the door behind him and looked into the dark room without light, his torches unlit, and only glimpses of light peeked through the window-holes without glass. He dropped his net next to the door and placed his spear by the door as well.  Feeling around the dark room for two stones, it took some wandering, but he eventually bumped into a table where the stones lay proudly at. He grabbed the stones and squinted through the darkness and at the unlit torch. His feet thumped against the wooden floor as he was too tired to silence them. He scraped the stones in an attempt to make sparks and was unsuccessful the first time, however with trial and error, fire was born onto the torch. The flame was small on the torch, so Bjørn blew on it lightly and the flame slowly grew bigger and lit up the room around him. The fire melted the snow off his beard and Bjørn distanced himself away from the torch; while the heat felt nice, he wanted to sleep. He looked around his cabin interior, now being able to see with the torch being lit. There were multiple spears lining on the wall near the door in case one of them broke on the walls as the trophy of the Manticore’s tail and a fur coat of it on the wall as well in case something bad happened to Mama Bear’s - God forbid it does. On the table he bumped into was nothing, so Bjørn placed the stones back on top of the table and pushed in the chair that went with the table.  That was about it for the cabin, except for the bed that resided in the back of the building. The bed was built out of the branches and wood of a Timberwolf - or a Wood Dog as Bjørn would call it - the mattress was made out of some Raccoon fur and leftover Manticore fur. As for the blanket, it was made out of Styrka and Gnistra’s fur, as well as the scraps of Mama Bear’s fur. The pillows were made from the feathers that the weird snake-like chickens had that just stared at him. It was weird but he took advantage of their poor defense mechanism.  Bjørn took off his jacket and placed it on the table, he looked at her fur before inhaling deeply. He took in all of the cold air into his lungs and exhaled it all before walking towards the bed. He hadn’t realized, but the cold made his fingers numb as he grabbed hold of the blanket and slowly climbed into bed. Putting the blanket over his body and his head, he turned face towards the wall and closed his eyes.  A tear managed to escape from his eye as he remembered the many times Mama Bear and her cubs would snuggle close to him just like this. Piling together to keep warm, he missed that. He missed Mama Bear. Not even a second later had he nearly drifted off to sleep did someone knock on his door. At first, several questions swarmed into Bjørn’s mind. “Someone knocked? Is it an enemy? Is it a friend? Did my friends find me? Is it Quul? Am I not alone? Is it the Pit Fiend? Is it a demon? Is it a devil? Perhaps it might be a bear?” The questions slowly died down as Bjørn realized that he did not care and wanted to sleep more. “Hello~!” A female voice said in singsong - so, not Quul. Get it? So not Quul, and Quul is pronounced Cool but- Okay, I’ll shut up. “Is anyone home?” The lass didn’t get a response as Bjørn snuggled closer to the wall in an attempt to distance himself from the door. “I want to meet you, you seem so lonely out here.” 'Fuck off, strange woman! Wait a minute, how do they know if I am lonely or not?' Bjørn’s eyes opened, “Was I being watched? What the Hell?!” The knocking came again, “Please open the door? I promise I’m a really fun person to talk to!” “I’m trying to fucking sleep, just fuck off already!” Bjørn wanted to yell, but he didn’t want her to know he was here. “Please?” Knock, knock, “Please?” Knock, knock, “Pretty please?” Knock, knock, knock, knock- 'Oh, to Avernus with this!' Bjørn rolled out of bed and stomped towards the door, he grabbed his door handle and slammed the door open. “SHUT THE FU- MMRGHFF!” His face was immediately met with chest fluff. “Oops!” The voice replied, sounding clearer despite him being head deep in fluff. With unbound fury, Bjørn pushed the fluff out of his face and the being in front of him stepped back a couple steps. While Bjørn had expected a human, a demon, a devil, a ghost, or even a dragon, he didn’t expect horse. “What… The...?” Bjørn asked, looking the horse up and down. Checking if he was seeing properly, he rubbed his eyes and blinked and yes, he was in fact seeing properly. “Naw, this can’t be right.” He pinched himself on the cheek, and still, nothing. He was awake. What he saw was a pale white horse, with a flowing mane colored green, a lighter green, pink or magenta, and blue. It had a horn and wings, and from what he saw, a sun branded on its ass. Bjørn brushed past the horse and walked around it, he didn’t see its rider - the person who was talking. He searched and peered into the forest, no sight of a rider anywhere. “What are you looking for, if I may ask?” Bjørn snapped towards the weird horse and pointed a finger at it. “Did you just talk?” Bjørn arched an eyebrow, feeling somewhat unsettled by this… Weird talking horse. “Yes, I did!” The horse chirped with a smile. “My name is Princess Celestia Sol, a pleasure to meet you.” Hundreds of questions flashed into his mind, firstly, it spoke; what the fuck. Second, it had a name, and third; PRINCESS?! Bjørn’s eyebrows were raised. “Princess?” He asked incredulously, “Of what?” “Of Equestria,” The horse he now knew as Celestia said, “The place you’re residing in, well, sort of. This is the Everfree Forest.” Bjørn looked around the forest, “It… Has a name?” He tilted his head, “Princess of a country…? Why are you here?” He pointed to Celestia. “To meet you of course, I won’t say much, but some of the nearby residents spotted you killing a Manticore and reported to me and my sister, Princess Luna.” Okay, so, there’s two princesses, cool. “THERE’S MORE OF YOU?!” Bjørn exclaimed, pointing yet again at her. Celestia giggled, holding a hoof up to her mouth. “Why yes, there are more of us, Sir...” She cleared her throat, “What do I call you?” Bjørn squinted his eyes. “What game is she playing at? She approached my cabin, told me she was the princess of a kingdom that I don’t know even exists, and she says there’s more of her. She has to be lying.” Bjørn scoffed and crossed his arms. “Call me what you want to call me, I’m not telling you shit.” Celestia’s ears drooped but she pressed on, “Well then, how about… Bear? Because you can turn into one, right?” What. The. Fuck. “How the fuck do you know that?!” Bjørn exclaimed, “But if you’re gonna call me Bear, call me Björn. It’s Bear in my native language.” “Alright then, Björn.” She nodded, “I know you can turn into a bear because you did when you fought the Manticore, didn’t you?” This is fucking weird, but okay. “Uh huh… Right. How do you know that?” It was his turn to nod albeit suspiciously.  "Don't you remember? Some nearby residents saw you," Celestia smiled serenely. And for some odd reason, he hated the smile even more than the Pit Fiend. She gave a quick glance at his cabin. “That’s a nice cabin, did you make it yourself?” “No shit, do you see anyone else here but me?” Bjørn asked, his arms opened wide.  “Well, no…” Her ears drooped once more, “Is there a reason why you’re being rude? Did I do something?” “Do something?” He growled at the Alicorn. “Horse lady, you woke me up from my sleep after a long ass day, you tell me that there’s more of a race that I don’t know about, I’m in an unknown country, and you’re a talking horse!” “Well, actually, I’m an Alicor-” Celestia was cut off by Bjørn, “'Well actually-'” Bjørn mocked before erupting into anger. “SHUT UP!” “Wow, um… H-How about a change of topics? What’s the extra cabin for?” Celestia pointed to Mama Bear’s cabin with her foreleg. “None of your business, fuck off, and get out of my forest.” Bjørn pointed to a random spot in the forest. “It’s actually me and my sister’s forest, but we abandoned it long ago.” Celestia said. “Well, it’s my forest now, get out.” Bjørn once more gestured to a random point in the forest. “Do you want to sign the papers to make it legal?” Celestia smiled, tilting her head. “I’d be glad to hand it over, just go to Canterlot with me and-” “GET OUT!” “Okay.” Celestia muttered quietly, her horn lighting up before she popped out of existence. … … … “How did she do tha-” This wasn’t Celestia’s last appearance, once a week she would come back to try and befriend Bjørn. Although, every time he would brush her off, which led her to try and do unconventional means into trying to befriend him. Like the time she tried to befriend him via a magic show. There was a whole ass tent and everything along with fake mannequins made out hay as the audience - right in front of his cabin at three in the morning. Bjørn wasn’t happy, but Celestia did her best, and failed. Multiple times. And on one specific day, he had enough. Yet again had Celestia knocked on Bjørn’s door, and yet again did Bjørn answer. “What do you want now?” Bjørn groaned, “Do you have anything better to do?” “What’s better than spending time with a friend?” Celestia chirped with a smile, Bjørn did not reciprocate that smile - at all. “I’ve been wanting to ask you questions, Mr. Björn.” Bjørn pinched his nose, “Just call me Björn, there’s no Mr.,”  “Speaking of Mr., where are your parents?” Celestia inquired, this question hit a little too close to home as Bjørn’s heart twinged with sorrow. “Uh… My Father - or Far - is…” He didn’t want to say too much, he had to be careful. “...Out on sea, my Mother - Moder - is on my home island, taking care of my siblings.” Celestia’s ears flickered, “Home island? Where is this island, pray tell?” Her question was matched with aggression as Bjørn’s eyes narrowed, “Why? So that you can enslave them?” “What? No, no! Not at all!” Celestia gawked, “Why would you even suggest that? I would never do that to my friend.” “We’re not friends.” Bjørn crossed his arms, “And we’ll never be.” Celestia groaned and held a hoof to her face, shaking her head. “Another topic, could you tell me the names of your siblings? I would love to know.” “What’s the point? It’s not like you’ll ever meet them.” Bjørn scoffed. “Why is that?” Celestia tilted her head. “I’m in the middle of nowhere, and I have no idea where - or when for that matter - Equestria is.” Bjørn motioned to the forest around them, “It’s not likely you’d meet them.” Celestia put a hoof to her chin and thought, “Well, how about… A pet, do you have any pets?” “Do you count yaks, cows, and deer as animals?” Bjørn quirked an eyebrow, to which Celestia breathed through her teeth. Bjørn’s eyes immediately widened, “No shot that they talk too.” Celestia didn’t have time to answer that question as Bjørn rubbed his temples. “I hate it here; it hurts my brain…” Celestia rubbed her hoof, “Do you have any friends? N-no offense, of course.” Friends… Friends… Did he have friends? “There was Alwin - but he was more of an acquaintance than anything, we never got along, Zelfine was the same, Dhamir is iffy, so, I’ll put him at buddy. Jandar and Theo were cool, and still are, so I put them at… Friends. Nick… Pip… Quul… They…” Bjørn shook his head, he couldn’t focus on them right now. “Uh, two.” “Really? What are their names?” Bjørn gave her a flat stare. “Okay, same answer with the siblings I assume.”  “Yep,” Bjørn nodded. And then, a little migraine swept over his mind, causing him to wince. Through the migraine, he heard Celestia strike him with another question; “Do you have a significant other?” Bjørn didn’t respond, and instead glanced at the ground. “Can’t even count Quul as one, I couldn’t even confess to her…” “Do you have any regrets? Things you wish you could take back?” Celestia had shot Bjørn with yet another question straight to the heart. “Pip…” Bjørn closed his eyes, how he wished he hadn’t been so reckless. Why did he bring Pip to that cursed bathhouse? “Do you miss your family now that you’re away?” This question made Bjørn’s heart plummet further down into depression, and he didn’t have time to even think when she fired off with another question. “Do you miss Mama Bear?” 'How did she-' “Do you regret fighting the Pit Fiend?” 'Stop.' “Why do you live alone? To protect everyone from yourself?” 'Stop it.' “So that someone doesn’t end up as Pip? Nick? Or perhaps Qu-” “SHUT THE FUCK UP!” Bjørn boomed with a guttural snarl, glaring daggers into Celestia, his teeth clenched tight, and his fists clenched even tighter. “But… I didn’t say anything,” Concern seemed to wash over Celestia’s face, “Are you okay?” “Shut the fuck up,” The tone in Bjørn’s voice made it seem as if he was on the edge of teers, but his eyes betrayed it, showing pure hatred. “You are worthless.” Celestia flinched at the insult, “You don’t have to throw insults, we can-” “Your life is meaningless.” Bjørn stomped his foot on the ground, and Celestia took a step back. “I tell you off, you’re gonna keep coming back, I seal up all my cracks, every nook and cranny, and you keep coming back, why?!” Once more did she take a step back, but this time, not out of Bjørn acting aggressive, but out of… Hurt? “I... Just wanted to be your friend, Björn.” Celestia was almost immediately attacked verbally yet again. “Friend? We’re not friends, you idiot.” Bjørn spat, glaring into Celestia’s eyes. “You're NOTHING to me!”  Celestia’s ears were folded all the way down to the side of her head as she slowly lowered herself to his level. “You're NOTHING!” Bjørn stomped his foot on the ground yet again, causing Celestia to flinch. “NOTHING.” STOMP! “Leave me alone and do me a God damn favor! KILL YOURSELF!" Bjørn yelled pointing a finger at Celestia. To which she gasped, “How-how could you say that? That’s-” “PLEASE! Do me a favor, do me THAT favor you dumb horse!” Bjørn snarled, his hair spiking and his muscles bulging, somehow making him get taller. “JUST KILL YOURSELF!” “I just wanted to be your friend…” Celestia sighed, shaking her head as she slowly began to stand to her hooves. Her eyes glued to the ground, unable to look up at Bjørn. “I just wanted to be left alone, yet here we are!” Bjørn exclaimed, “Fuck off and never come back, stupid horse.” A pregnant pause filled the area, not a bug, not a Timberwolf, not even a worm made a sound. And without a word, Celestia flared her wings and took off to the skies, pushing some snow onto Bjørn’s pants. The Barbarian looked up to the Alicorn as she slowly flew away from sight, with a scoff he turned around and marched inside his cabin. Unaware that a certain Gaze was upon him. “And so that’s what happened, Princess Luna.” Lunar Gaze got up from a bow and looked to see Luna’s expression; spoiler alert, she wasn’t happy. “We know how to deal with this wretch," Luna’s horn lit up and a blank scroll with an ink and quill appeared in the air next to her. "And just who to write to.”