• Published 1st Dec 2022
  • 1,708 Views, 38 Comments

Björn - The_Chill_Author



A human barbarian died foolishly by challenging a Pit Fiend, and thus was sent to Equestria upon his demise. Now, he must adapt to living in this new world and find a way back home, and nothing is going to get in his way, regardless who's there.

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Myt

Jade Tango had cast aside his Guard armor and taken the streets, each step emanating confidence. As he did so, he got nods of approval from the nobles, a majority from the stallions who acknowledged his aura of assurance. His time in the Guard taught him a few things about Canterlot. First and foremost, walking down the street with confidence will get you respect from the nobles. Second, not being overly friendly to ponies passing by, they don’t know you and you don’t know them, the less friendly the better, though it doesn’t mean be rude to them as that causes conflict. Last but not least, dressing appropriately, which is understandable, this is the capital of the most peaceful nation on the entire planet after all.

Jade passed by a Pegasi wearing a black hat with a red feather sticking out of it, he also wore a black scarf around his neck. The Pegasi had a dark-ish blue mane with black fur, his eyes mirrored his mane but with a slightly darker tint of blue.

Jade paused suddenly and looked back to glance at the pony, the pony did the same. “Vesper?” Jade wore an astonished look, as did Vesper.

“Jade?” The look on Vesper’s face changed like the tides and he grinned ear to ear, “Jade, long time, no see, man? How’s the Day Guard?”

Jade smirked, “Not bad, Sparkling Water has been on my case for not calling her Sparkle, which I can’t get the habit out of my head. I’ve known her as Sparkling for so long,” Vesper nodded.

“I understand, speaking of Sparkle, are you two a pair yet?” Vesper’s eyes twinkled with curiosity, in which Jade sucked in his teeth and avoided eye contact with his black-furred friend. As he did so, the twinkles in Vesper's eyes faded, “I’m guessing that’s a no?”

Jade inhaled sharply through his teeth once more and looked Vesper in his eyes. “It’s… It’s complicated.” He rubbed the back of his head and averted his eyes to the ground, not daring to look into Vesper’s disappointed eyes.

“Listen, Jade, complicated or not, you have to tell her how you feel at some point. And if you don’t tell her how you feel, somepony else is gonna beat you to the punch.” Vesper explained, gazing at Jade who avoided eye contact.

“Yeah, I know, I know.” Jade’s ears perked up as he suddenly remembered why he was out here in the first place, “The museum! I remember, Sparkling told me to go to the museum since I’ve never been.”

Vesper raised an eyebrow, “You didn’t ask her to go with you?”

Jade gawked, “No, Captain Shining Armor gave me a day off. He says I’ve been working too much. So, she can’t really join me since she's on the job.” He explained as Vesper shook his head.

“Well, then, I guess we could go together, I’m a Night Guard, so I have time.” Vesper chirped as he followed Jade towards the museum.

“Speaking of the Night Guard, Vesper, how’s Captain Umbra Eventide?” Jade asked, “Is she as bad as they say?’

Vesper snorted, “Worse, she’s the most intimidating mare I’ve ever met. Her ability to switch to her Trottish accent and back to her Canterlot is what scares me. She can sound so calm and then sound angry the next. I can’t read her at all,” he briefly shuddered before shaking it off. The pair of ponies advanced on their quest to the museum, as they arrived, two fancy doors were in front of them. They glanced at each other, then at the doors, the pair shrugged and opened the doors. As they opened them, Vesper and Jade were met with the smell of history, if you catch my drift.

“Wow,” Jade whistled as he looked around the entrance hall, the floor had a white and black chess pattern and the decoration was out of this world. Jade looked at the potted plants that were currently being watered by the staff who wore blue suits and hats, they appeared to be machines as they watered the plants in total synchronization.

Jade received a nudge from Vesper who was looking up, mouth agape. He followed his gaze and looked up to see a big shining chandelier made out of diamond and gold. Passing the chandelier was a mural of various arts from around Equestria, as well as various major events. Ranging from the rise of King Sombra to the return of Princess Luna.

"See something you like?" Vesper jumped into Jade's hooves as they both yelped. Their eyes met with a female Earth Pony in a similar blue suit and hat as the other staff. She had a light tan coat and brown hair, though her eyes were a light green.

"Uh… I guess," Jade said, still holding Vesper in his hooves before simply dropping him with a thud. The Pegasi let out a groan before rolling to his hooves. "See, I've never been here, and a friend recommended me to come to this place."

The Earth Pony smiled, "Well then, allow me to be your tour guide; my name is Aqua Marine, a pleasure to meet you.” She sticks out a hoof to Jade.

“Jade Tango, a pleasure to meet you, ma’am.” Jade took her hoof and flashed her a smile, Aqua simply ignored him and went to look at Vesper.

“Oh! Uh, Darkest Vesper, si- ma’am! Darkest Vesper, ma’am, but you can simply call me Vesper. If you want.” Vesper briefly had a blush on his face, whether it was from embarrassment or something else, Jade could not tell, however, Aqua glossed over the small detail.

“A pleasure to meet you, Jade, Vesper,” She turned around sharply, raising her left hoof as she did so before putting it down as if standing at attention. “Follow me, please.” Aqua began to march towards a side of the entrance where an arch could be seen. The arch led to the exhibits and as the trio went through the arch, they saw the first piece of history. Which included a painting of Grogar with his monsters standing on top of a sharp hill with a mare in a green hood looking up at him at the bottom, an army of her own behind her.

“As you can see here, this piece of history is of the point of time where Gusty the Great battled with Grogar during one of their many clashes of ye olde times. Before Equestria was founded.” Aqua explained, she then pointed at the artifacts recovered, which was a barely recognizable sword. “That sword was one of the many that were forged to kill Grogar’s monsters, if you couldn’t tell.”

THAT’S a sword?” Vesper gawked; the Earth Pony nodded.

“Indeed, it was recovered on an expedition in the Frozen North a couple of years back. Research has been conducted and they say this sword is older than our Princesses. Far older, in fact.” As Vesper’s mouth was agape at what Aqua had said, Jade had a hoof under his chin, lost in thought.

‘In that sword lies the blood, sweat, and tears of the blacksmith and the soldier that wielded the blade to combat against Grogar’s forces. That’s out of this world…’ Before Jade could add anything more to his thoughts, Aqua Marine interjected.

“There isn’t a lot here, given that this was long before ink and quill was made. However, if you look ahead…” Jade and Vesper followed their guide’s lead and moved towards a part of the museum where they went inside a room painted black and blue. There are several paintings of demonic beasts and armored devils, but at the back of the room was a pedestal. There was a glass dome on it, and inside it, a broken handle of a sword. Behind the pedestal was a painting of a fearsome demon, armored head to toe in black and blue armor. Jagged spikes were stuck out of his armor, and he wielded a black blade which was set alight in blue flames. In the helmet’s eye holes were nothing short of a glare, smoldering blue eyes behind.

The painting was centered around this armored demon, wearing a fiery blue cape. Around the devil were the skeletons of various races, some included Minotaurs, Griffons, and the occasional Yak, but nearly all of them were ponies.

It was quiet in the room, so quiet that Jade could hear his own heartbeat. Ba-dump ba-dump ba-dump. Vesper was cowering before the painting; he could feel the heat behind the eyes of the infernal being.

Jade swallowed his fear, trying his best to hold it together. “W-what… Is… That?” Despite trying his best to sound brave, he still came up short. Aqua giggled at the pair of doofuses and cleared her throat.

“That is Zanedum, the Archdevil of Tartarus. According to myth, he invaded the planet through unknown means, his goal; to conquer the universe. They say that he was so powerful that it took the whole world to stop him. But even then, it wasn’t enough. Not even the strongest pony, the strongest Yak, or even the strongest Minotaur could pose a worthy challenge to him. When all hope was lost, and he was about to annihilate the whole planet with a fiery attack, he had found a worthy opponent. That opponent was a powerful Alicorn named Harmony. Zanedum and Harmony fought, their battle shook the universe, before Zanedum and his forces were banished back to their realm. To make sure he stayed put, Harmony unleashed a spell that split his blade into shards. If someone were to ever collect these shards and go to Tartarus, he would break free and begin his reign of terror once again!” Aqua jumped to her hooves, raising them high dramatically.

“ACK!” The Guards held each other in a tight embrace and shook with fear. Aqua puffed her face to try and stop herself from laughing before she burst with a guffaw.

“GYAHAHAHA! You two really believe that old story? It’s just a myth, and science has proven it. If Zanedum had really invaded our planet, would the highest security prison - Tartarus - be here?” Jade and Vesper looked at each other, a bit confuzzled on what Aqua was getting at.

“Think about it, if Tartarus held a gateway to some big bad scary devil, then why wouldn’t it be there? Researchers have looked at every nook and cranny of Tartarus and there hasn’t been either a recording or a scrap of the fossils of the dead.” The Tour Guide pointed over to the pedestal. “That over there is a prop, I shouldn’t be telling you that, but it is. So, you two can get up now.”

Vesper looked at Jade, Jade looked at Vesper. They had noticed that they were really close, they both recoiled in embarrassment before rolling to their feet. Jade cleared his throat and puffed out his chest. “So, onto the next room?” Aqua gave him a curt nod. “Alright then, let’s get on to it.”

“Gladly!” Vesper darted past the pair and went out the door, Aqua followed after the Pegasi. Jade glanced back at the broken sword hilt before walking towards the door to take his leave.

”Find the shards…”

The fur on Jade’s back stood up straight and a chill shot down his spine. He had completely frozen in place. “What… What was that…?”

”Find the shards…”

“Hey, Jade, are you alright?” The Unicorn snapped to reality, ope there goes gravity- Sorry. Jade blinked and saw that Vesper was standing right in front of him. “You’re looking kinda green.”

Jade blinked again, this time out of confusion, he looked back at his fur then at Vesper. “Oh, you bucking dickhead.” The pair chuckled and moved on, despite this lighthearted mood he was pulled into, his mind still lingered to dark places.

Dark places indeed…


The forest was calming, well, as calming as a forest that had wooden wolves could be, but to the Barbarian, it was like Heaven. After fighting for so long in Avernus it’s a breath of fresh air - literally and figuratively - to just feel the grass on your feet and step over branches and climb over logs.

Bjørn had the most stupid grin on his face as he followed the Mama Bear and her cubs, somehow, it felt right. It felt right to follow a mother that protected their children, it almost made him feel like he was one of them, like he was the Mama Bear’s son. Bjørn’s grin slowly faded.

‘...Moder…’ He thought to himself. These cubs had the fortune of being with their mother, unlike him. He began to walk a smidgen slowly, however, the Mama Bear took notice and stopped in her tracks to look over her shoulder and over to Bjørn, the cubs had followed in their mother’s steps and looked over as well. Bjørn watched the concern on Mama Bear’s face, despite her being a bear he could still read her face. It was as if it was a part of him to have this connection to these wonderful creatures, to read them, to connect with them, to love them. He loved this bear.

This bear was nice.

“Oh, nah, I’m good.” Bjørn flashed his pearly whites and the Mama Bear simply gazed at him warily before continuing to walk. He followed them and began to use some techniques to relax himself. As he felt his mind slowly settle down, he focused his attention on the cubs. 'I've had already dubbed the big bear, Mama Bear, but what of these two? Well, one of them was male, the other was female. So, Son Bear and Daughter Bear? Nah, that was just ridiculous, even for my standards.'

He looked at the male, his mind slowly piecing together the perfect name; Styrka. Styrka would be his name, he smiled at the cub before turning his attention to the female cub. Gnistra. A perfect name for her. He briefly thought about giving Mama Bear a name, but ultimately decided against it, Mama Bear is who she was and who she will be for the remainder of his life.

He perked up his head; he heard something, it was faint, but he could hear it. Water. It was water rushing, but not too much that it would be a waterfall, it sounded like a stream. As they walked further and further, the sound got closer and closer. Eventually they made it past all of the foliage and entered a beautiful show of nature. A nice stream rushing down a small incline, down to a river. From above, the sun shined brightly, and the rays hit the water, making it look as if the water was sparkling. The icing on the cake had to be the fish going downstream, jumping to the air and diving back down.

The Mama Bear groaned, as if telling her cubs to stay behind, she approached the stream and got her paws wet. She sniffed at the water, watching it warily, soon after a fish jumped in the air only to be caught by the Mama Bear’s maw. The animal threw the fish over to land, right in front of the cubs. Styrka and Gnistra began their feast, sharing the fish together. Bjørn watched them as another fish was sent his way, hitting him right across the face. Bjørn recoiled and caught the fish as it was about to fall. Turning his head, he met the Mama Bear’s gaze, she stared into his eyes, and he stared back.

He knew what he had to do. Wincing, Bjørn looked down at the fish, flapping in his iron grip, he sighed and opened his mouth. He took a bite of the fish, tearing its body apart. The taste was unbearable as he began to eat the tail, after he was done, he released the fish from his grip and let it fall. He had only left its head and as the partially eaten fish hit the ground Stryka was right on it and began to devour it. He turned his gaze back to the Mama Bear and she gave an approving nod.

He held his stomach, he barely managed to keep it from coming back out. He hit his chest and slapped his face. When his fingers felt his face, all he felt was sweat, Bjørn raised his eyebrows and walked over to the stream. Getting down on all fours to wash his face, as he cleaned himself, a fish jumped up and slapped him across the face. He blinked, stunned, shocked, confused, and pissed.

“Oh, I’mma get it's röv.” Bjørn began to look for the fish that wronged him only for the Mama Bear to huff, the Barbarian looked to the bear and saw that the Mama Bear had the fish in her mouth. She then threw it over on shore before continuing to hunt, Bjørn looked over and saw that she had a pile of fish. “Oh, so, that’s how it is? Alright, then, it’s on.”

Bjørn began to try and catch some fish using his bare teeth, but every time he tried, was only met with failure and water down the wrong pipe. He coughed up some water and looked over to the Mama Bear, he watched her casually catch three fishes in her maw. He narrowed his eyes and began to focus. He trained his eyes on the water; he focused how the water flowed and how the flow shifted. Bjørn opened his mouth and a fish jumped out of the water, quickly, he bit down on the fish.

“Aha! I disch ih!” He grinned and turned to face the Mama Bear who was back on shore, eating her share. The bear turned her head and met Bjørn’s eyes, the Mama Bear nodded with pride and continued to gorge on her meal. Bjørn went to his feet and spit out the fish into his hands before taking a bite out of it with the most Alpha Male look in his eyes.

After the party had finished eating, the sun was getting low, and it was time for them to go home. Bjørn followed the Björn Family to their home; it was a big cave with a large amount of foliage at the entrance to both provide protection and be a good camouflage to hide from predators. Bjørn had found himself in the cave, he was sitting down and watched how Styrka and Gnistra cuddled up to their mother, a soft smile inched its way to his face. It had been a long day of fun with these wonderful creatures, and now, it was time for him to rest. He let out a loud yawn before laying on his side, he took one last peek at the cozy bears before rolling away from them, facing the entrance.

His body was exhausted from all of the walking and the fighting he’s done today, it was time for him to rest. As his consciousness began to drift, he remembered the beaches of his home island, listening to the waves crash against the rocks and slide gently back to sea. He almost felt the cold breeze that the ocean brought, but that feeling was lost when he felt something fuzzy cuddle up to him. He opened his eyes and turned his head, immediately, he was met with the Mama Bear, resting her body on him, with Styrka and Gnistra nuzzling their way up to his chest. Bjørn smiled and closed back his eyes, welcoming the embrace of sleep once more.