It's an ordinary day in Ponyville, until Applejack says Twilight is purple. She should have known better.

Prereader: CoffeeBean

Para español: Aquí

This is the story of a certain pink pony who's decided that she wants to have babies like the Cakes, and of the much-enduring pegasus who must explain to her why that might not exactly be plausible for them. Will either of them succeed in their mostly-noble endeavours? Probably not. Dedicated to device heretic, who gave me the idea. Please don't take this too seriously.

Featured on Equestria Daily, and quickly shaping up to be my lowest-rated story yet!

If you look around the multiverse, you'll find several entities who would be happy to see them, at least initially. Those sapients would be operating on dreams of free wishes and gold -- or, for the more sensible, shoe repair. But Equestria knows nothing of those tales. And so all Rainbow knows is that it's a very important day, one where she absolutely must have privacy, and that means she needs to get these miniature green-jacketed lunatics out of her life.

Must be Crackfic Week again!

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Just because Rainbow's living alone for the first time...
Just because it's her first real job...
Just because she's never really dealt with ground and all that comes with it...
...that doesn't mean anything is going to go wrong.
Seriously. She's totally got this.

A standalone, no prior reading required part of the Triptych Continuum, which has its own TVTropes page and FIMFiction group: new members and trope edits are welcome.

Now with author Patreon and Ko-Fi pages.

For the Bearers, a mission can begin -- or end -- at any time. In this case, they're tired, hungry, completely out of bits, and stuck roaming the streets of an unfamiliar town until Sun-raising. So while they're waiting for their ride home, why not take advantage of that costume party? Just go in claiming to be masquerading as the Bearers, keep the circulation centered around the food trays... in Rarity's opinion, it's the best possible way to get through the night. And it's not as if they've ever had something go wrong at a high-society party before.

...except for all the times when it has.

The time to learn what everypony thinks of you is when nopony knows you're there...

(Now with author Patreon and Ko-Fi pages.)

Dedicated to Harpo Marx.

Realistically, they have options. For example, they could flee to another country, except that the Princesses could track them down and besides, one of those borders just effectively closed. There's probably some caves around which nopony's ever fully explored. A life spent reeking of fur dye might be possible. Or they can just stay in the hallway outside the throne room, waiting to be called in so they can explain how their good intentions turned that last mission into the biggest fiasco in Bearer history.

...so where were those caves again?

(Now with author Patreon and Ko-Fi pages.)

Cover art taken from an image created by ExitMothership. Commission information can be found here.

It's been two weeks since Princess Luna's Return. Equestria is starting to realize that the Elements are back, with new Bearers. And what does that mean? Well, clearly this isn't the end of their adventures, and taking some personal time for Harmony to grow? That's just ridiculous. It's obvious that what they need is training in how to fight. And Emery Board, the greatest drill sergeant in any nation, is pleased to unretire long enough for offering his services to the restored crowns.

He got one session with the Bearers.

Realistically, one was enough.

(Part of the Triptych Continuum, which has its own TVTropes page and FIMFiction group. New members and trope edits welcome.)

Now with author Patreon and Ko-Fi pages.