The Common Penpal · 9:59pm Apr 19th, 2019
The Penpal
A Penpal (Stutelia amicus) in its ambulatory state.
Art by Cold in Gardez
The common penpal is a parasitic insect which feeds on the magic of friendship by impersonating a distant friend whom its host comes to like. Penpals are not capable of writing on their own, but instead posses a natural glamor which induces disorientation. Ponies and other literate creatures under its influence will write letters to themselves only to “receive” their own missive days later, never realizing they are penning both sides of the conversation.
Physically, penpals closely resemble cut quills. They are normally inanimate, lying perfectly still in places where quills might be found and waiting for ponies to pick them up. However, if placed somewhere that ponies do not frequent—such as under a couch—penpals will animate and crawl to a more populated space. The “feather vanes” of the penpal’s “quill” are actually legs, and it can use anywhere from six to fourteen legs to propel itself.
Once a pony picks up a penpal (including with unicorn magic), they are struck by the penpal’s glamor and feel the urge to write a letter. Hosts will nearly always write multiple drafts of the letter, addressing each to “my dear friend.” They will then put the letters away, and within two to six hours will have forgotten writing them.
Some time in the next three days, they will retrieve the letters and believe that the messages have recently arrived from their friend. Unable to recognize that the letters are from themselves, the host feels “like I know what they’re going through” or that “this pony really gets me.” Their replies therefore express genuine friendship and allow the penpal to feed.
Penpals reproduce by laying eggs which grow into new quills. Host ponies will feel compelled to take these quills with them to locations such as coffee shops, libraries, and writers’ workshops, whereupon they will forget the quill and leave it somewhere another pony can find it.
Interesting Facts About Penpals:
- Ptalony once described penpals as “the most noble of beasts,” and would give them to his students to encourage literacy.
- Since a penpal’s glamor only affects ponies who pick them up, they can be kept safely as pets in a sealed terrarium. As long as they are cared for regularly, the friendship between pony and pet will keep them healthy.
- Penpals have a variety of color patterns, ranging from uniform dark brown to bright spotted blues and greens. They appear in Dour Whinny’s seminal work On the Speciation of Organs, where he demonstrated that penpals will evolve new color patterns over multiple generations to maximize their chances of being picked up.
- In 955, one Fillydelphia elementary school teacher intentionally handed out penpals to dozens of foals after the school’s program to find them real friends in sister-city Whinneyapolis fell through. He was forced to resign.
- Penpals are closely related to confidants, a parasite which resembles a pen. Confidants feed on generosity, and letters written under their influence will include pleas for money.
Dude not bad at all
You win FimFic.
God knows where you'll put it, but it's yours.
Over time, Confidants have evolved into the computer age, and take the form of keyboards, which are used to send electronic mail messages begging for money. An extermination campaign is underway, but the probability of wiping them all out is low.
Wow i really like this.
It reminds me of the different types of mimic in our current era, but this is REALLY cool.
If these were real i would love to have one.
too many legs D:
I do love this, an excellent love parasite.
Think Chrysalis has some more insane plans involving using them to get at Starlight Glimmer?
Was this originally for The Smoking Tiger Collective? Is horizon still going to move forward with it or not? Because it's been a while.
EDIT: Ok, yeah, I found your submission.
GapJaxie's Beasts and Where to Find Them
Fascinating...
"Confidants feed on generosity, and letters written under their influence will include pleas for money."
I wonder what happens to the money?
(And nice art.)
5046547
Aye, I too question the classification as an insect.
(:))
5046569
It was, and I do intend to pick the project back up. Aragon and I both just got buried in work, and I'm scrambling to get a book of short stories put together in time for the Bronycon bookstore -- after that I'll have a little more bandwidth to return to the project.
You can tell this is a GaPJaxie post because the animated inanimate object is a psychic parasite instead of a whimsical helper.
5046576
That's why I posted the first draft instead of the refined one you helped me with -- so that if you return to the project later, it's not spoiled.
5046571
“They don’t come from the tax on salt; when bonds mature, they do not halt; they don’t come from our souks or ports, nor off-site wagers made on sports; they don’t come from mining leases, nor from foreign trade increases—Highness, I’m not playing dumb: I know not whence these monies come!” said the Chief Minister of Finance for Prince Zavala of Zebrica.
5046576
Okay, makes sense. While I have your attention, I'm fairly sure neither you or Aragon ever actually saw my submission on the first page of the thread, since I never got a reply. No rush, obviously.
Oh thank God this is finally getting posted
Does this mean you're eventually going to post a ponified version of The Nice Little House in The City
Aw, man. Now I want to post mine.
Edit: gave in to temptation.
5046583
Hah, excellent! :D
5046652
I still remember that fic you posted 5,000 years ago with the arbormaw. That was a neat bit of worldbuilding from you.
5046569
I asked horizon to post something in the Smoking Tigers forum letting the participants know what the status was, but nothing so far.
This feels like a wonderful collision of FiM, Harry Potter, and a benign SCP.
5046700
That was my second story ever :) Almost eight years ago.
5046596 5046702
I’m at Babscon this weekend. I’ll deal with it Monday.
Very nice.