Mar
12th
2014
Huh! I Have a Critic! · 4:24am Mar 12th, 2014
Who took the time to read through my entire fic and point out everything I did wrong with several impressions! I must admit, I'm flattered.
Andrew J Talent? Do I call myself that? I don't think I've ever called myself that. Or Andrew J. Talentless. That's funny.
Well, can't please everybody. And I will admit, I did just start writing this fic as a joke that nobody got so there's always room for improvement and editing. I think I'll see what I can fix up, as I'm always open to constructive criticism.
But I don't think I'll be taking a lot of suggestions from these gentlemen.
Here is his huge fanfiction project on this site that he mentions:
http://www.fimfiction.net/story/156463/stick-figures
It's good to know it's going so well.
Dude every chapter my main story is made up on the spot.
I'd love to see this critic rip mine apart.
Your humility is adorable.
And I don't mean that in a condescending way at all, I mean that in, like... shit, how do I mean it, then?
I guess mostly I just want to buy you a cider for being a bigger man than I. I just chose the most patronizing word to do it with, it seems.
1919011 Eh, probably not. I'm a lot harder on myself and more creative with my insults at my poor writing than this guy is. He just kind of peters out on the creativity about halfway through the reading and then just criticizes me at random.
1919024 Thanks. I'm just a lot harder on myself than these guys are.
1919032
Meh, well I'd still like to see him try to tear mine up.
Given that mine is completely comment driven, lets see him rant on the creativity there?
1919051 Eh, you really wouldn't. He's not particularly creative.
1919053
Whatever.
Either way, it's not gonna stop me from writing it.
1919058 Good on you! I'll check it out.
derpicdn.net/img/view/2012/7/16/46183__safe_animated_image+macro_king+sombra_spoiler-colon-s03_haters+gonna+hate_season+3+villain.gif
1919064
Wow. You respond fast for a guy who has as many followers as you do.
And I don't mean that in a bad way.
Your writing has influenced me too.
If it's not too personal to ask, is there some kind of history between you two? I haven't watched his "review" but reading the annotations he left on his video about why he made it feels really uncomfortable.
1919138 Nope. Never heard of him before. Not even a clue he existed until now.
1919141 To your credit, you seem to be taking this in stride. Good on you.
1919155 *shrugs* I've learned humility the hard way: Being a dumbass a lot until I got sick of it.
1919155
It's pretty easy to take insults in stride when they're uninspired.
Well the video is pretty boring, I mean I personally don't like "Hands" and could read more of it than I watched of this. He is not a very good critic, or tuber for that matter.
As a reader and writer who prides himself on striving to be a decent critic, and who strives to help writers, regardless of writing style, ability, talent, or tastes, let me formally apologize on behalf of trying critics, everywhere.
I am glad you are taking this all in stride, but honestly, this isn't a critique, it's not even a review, I can't even call it half assed, it's just, for a serious lack of a better term, shit. I can't even call it shit, because shit is a good fertilizer, and thus, is of some use.
I've been reading Hands for some time now, and can say, while it's faults, I mean, every story does, and it's good to try and always improve, but the thing is, regardless of what faults may exist, Hands is hands down, (pun not intended) a good story, and you should be proud of that. What this idiot said, from the brief snippets that I caught, of what I think was a review, is, well, I always hate to say this but it's stupid. There is no thought to it, there is no reason, no logic, there isn't even a constructed argument. It's just one big rant pointing out all the supposed "bad" things about the story, which are purely subjective, and a matter of taste. Basically, from what I gathered, his entire argument is "I DON'T LIKE THE STORY SO IT'S BAD!" Like I said, no thought, reason, logic, or construction.
So once again, let me apologize. Not just because of the idiocy that he spewed upon you, but because it's people like him that make critics everywhere, look like uneducated morons, with a blown up ego, and a stick up their ass. So, honestly, ignore what he said, there is brutally honest constructive criticism, and being a jealous, moronic, self absorbed, prick, who only seeks to be negative because it helps sooth their own short comings.
Hmpf. Trolls and bullies. I LOVED Hands! BUGGERS!
Oh god the pain, my ears. I understand his dislike but the way he reads it sounds like nails on a chalkboard to me. The pointing out the flaws don't bug me as much as the shots he takes at you when there is nothing to complain about. If you are going to point out the flaws in a work, you should save your bashing of the writer until after you have shown the listeners why the writer should be bashed.
Right off the bat before he even gets far in, he complains that you drop the reader into the middle of the story not telling us how Andrew got there. Well from most HiE fics it is either Twilight via a spell or Everfree forest. I figured you jumped us to the middle because the 'arrival' is always the same because it has been done to death. If he is going to be a critic, then he needs to understand more common tropes.
I could go on, but I would just be beating a dead horse, which most of his comments seem to do already.
~Hearnishere123
I know that feel, bro.
It's unfortunate that most of the "MS3K" reviewers' criticisms have a ph so low it makes them virtually worthless. At least I got some interesting contextual thoughts on how the site you're from shapes how you view the stories you read from mine.
Ahhhhh... I see the game here.
His special baby of a fanfiction hasn't been doing well, what with less than 200 views, no followers, and three comments. So he makes fun of an author with almost 2000 followers and his highly acclaimed story with ~45000 views and over 3700 comments, in an attempt to bring attention to his story.
What a clever devil.
Take what you can, and ignore the arseholes.
My general opinion about your fic is that is very entertaining, although it only engages me as light comedy rather than my usual hard fare.
Your "critic" has three "stories", all of which are either half downvoted or in the negative downvote...
"Reapers Story" 13 downvotes and only 8 upvotes.
"Stick Figures" even split of 5 up and 5 down.
And "3's & 7's" has their best record yet with 6 votes up and only 5 votes down.
Nobody comments on their blog posts of which they have 11...not ONE comment on any of them and with a WHOPPING view count of 20 as their high score on that regard. Here's an excerpt of their best blog post...IMHO anyway...A'hem: "VJKHYGBHUVOADHSBGFUIABNISGFNADJKLUVAGYDHSFNXAKNSDVJKABNDFSVUIOGABYSDVFR I FUCKING FAILED! I'M FUCKED! I AM SOOOOOOOOOO FUCKED! GOODBYE EVERYBODY! I'M FUCKED! I'VE GOTTA GO BUY SOME CONDOMS NOW! KNOW WHY? BECAUSE I'M FUCKED!"
Great reading and SO full of personality.
Honestly, a mark of quality this guy is not. That video has 36 WHOLE VIEWS and I have to imagine that most of those came from your readers going to check that video out because you posted it. SO yeah in the end, I wouldn't put too much stock into what this person says or their opinion on YOUR work.
Is Hands flawed? Yeah sure, but it's not a serious work. It's just a bit of fun, but it still gets more interest than most...I have to think that is BECAUSE it's fun and not to be taken too seriously but hey, who am I? I have NO stories and NO blog posts.
Just one? You're probably doing something wrong...
You have an amazing ability too laugh at yourself. I'm a bit jealous, honestly.
I haven't read any of this critic's stories, but it doesn't look like I should be expecting much.
1919155 And you're coming off as smug over his taking it in stride?
I read this story in Bruce Campbell's voice.
I agree with everyone else who thinks this guy is just jealous and trying to stir up controversy/get attention. While I do have problems with Hands, I also think it's a great story and you're a great writer. Kudos to you for taking this idiot's rantings in stride and for what they are.
Perhaps the most depressing aspect of this is the hours this person spent recording and editing this audiovisual vitriol, which he is never going to get back.
ive got to HAND it to you positive attitude
1919476 wait a minute. Are you the guy who got a traitorous character named after you in Odsrjot?
I suppose this is a step on the long path to international celibrity. You have your first stalker.
Congratulations on the receipt of your new Internet Stalker™ Please pay attention to the enclosed instructions, as your product may not be returned for refund or exchange. Do not feed this product any positive recognition of its status, or you may receive more Internet Stalkers™ as they are attracted to such attention by scent. In the event you think you have received this product in error, too bad. You're stuck with it. We've got too many of them in the warehouse to accept any returns anyway. Warning: On occasion your Internet Stalker™ may accidently transmorgify into a Troll™ or a Harmless Twit™ This is a normal progression on the rare occasion that the product evolves due to education or spontanious proton decay, however on exceedingly rare occasions the product may turn into a Violent Stalker™ in which case you may be interested in our Restraining Order™ product, or one of the various fine defensive legal products available from the firm of Colt, Ruger, Smith and Wesson.
1919602 Not my intention to sound smug; just happy to see Andrew taking the high road over this, which can be rare to see on the internet.
No, good sir. When someone uses baseless arguments and/or nitpicks to try and bring you down, only to fall flat on their face when attempting to do the same thing they criticized you for (which you would think they'd do better after the 'criticism'), you just have unbridled jealousy.
Or, in less eloquent words, they be jelly, mang.
1919963 Probably shouldn't have used the "ajsmug" face then.
Aaaaand the video has apparently been removed.
... Is this normally what happens when a goldfish tries to stop a bullet train?
Haha! I thought you'd found that video! Well, Mr. Talon, I've taken the video down. It's honestly interesting to see someone like you, with a big following, find a video as small as that. I really don't like Hands, as you could have probably figured out. I'll admit I was being an asshole when I was picking apart the story, though. There are plenty of redeeming factors to it. Especially the fact that you can write in the personalities of the pre-established characters. No matter how hard I try to do that, I can't. As much as I hate Hands with a burning passion, I have respect for you. You took the time to read my story and give it an honest and harsh critique but you didn't just say "this story sucks" or something like that, while I was an asshole about it. It hurt me to take down the video that was hard work of reading for both Smallman5 and myself (mostly myself, but, you know, Smallman5 is a really good guy and I couldn't have done those videos without him. There's not enough Mountain Dew in the world that could hydrate me to read that much) but you, sir, are much more civilized than I expected. And I don't blame you for the whole "I won't be taking suggestions from these two gentlemen" thing, because knowing me, the majority of those suggestions were things along the lines of "kill yourself" or "delete the story" which I'd actually prefer you not do. There are so many people who like it. I'm probably the smallest, least-important person of the group who's read Hands... Oh, and that whole beginning part was totally improvised. The whole "Andrew J Talent" and "Andrew J Talentless," thing was just... you know, something that came to mind as a way to berate you for writing Hands, which I still hate endlessly. I'd still like to apologize for my actions, though. Again, you are much more of a civilized person than I had expected. I was honestly expecting you to be one of those "If you don't like my story you're retarded" people, and I was REALLY wrong. Thank you for the review on Stick Figures, as well. I've decided to cancel that project and try and come up with something better... or at least... more do-able with my current skill level in creative writing.
1921067 Seriously! You act as though I challenged you to a duel with pistols at dawn! I've just never had anyone put so much effort into mocking my work. And trust me, there's plenty to mock. I was flattered more than anything else. Don't just give up on that story, unless it is truly unsalvageable. Just remember: To tell a story, you must tell a story. Decide what that story is about, and write it. And don't give up! Hell, I've gotten worse reviews and continued. I don't think I'm much of a writer yet. I'm merely a popular one. It doesn't make me a good writer. I just recognize I still need to work to improve. As do we all.
And thus ends an era.
1919011 If you're interested in me doing that, I'd be glad to. I'll check out your stories when I get the chance. Honestly, this was the last comment on this post I expected to see.
1919053 I'm not creative when it comes to improvising jokes and criticizing at the same time. Now, if I had plenty of time to write out jokes for it and more people to do it with, that would help.
1919681 I'm not jealous. I just hate the fic Hands with a passion. Since I recorded this, I've found out 3 major things
1. I need to watch my own writing more than I watch others' writing
2. Andrew J Talon is actually a nicer person than I thought he would be
3. Only restlessly pick apart a fanfiction if the author asks you to or if there is not a single redeeming quality. Hands has some redeeming qualities that I never gave it credit for.
Oh, and I mostly did this just to have fun. It was pretty fun while it lasted, but I think I'll save this kind of thing for the true shitfics. I need to find the LJN of fanfiction authors!
1921047 I took it off because I realized how civil the real Andrew is. I went overboard with my bashing and never mentioned the redeeming qualities of Hands... to make a long story short, I was just being a cunt
1919547 don't expect much.
1919476 Well, I'll agree the stories I've posted were NOT good, but stay out of my blog. That shit is my buisness! I'll post whatever the fuck I want on there! Regardless, I know my stats on FIMFiction suck, and the same goes for YouTube, but I think Andrew is smart enough to figure this shit out for himself.
1919453 Actually, no. My FIMFiction account and the video weren't originally supposed to be linked together... and that precious "baby" of mine... it's up for adoption.
1919436 HAHAHAHA Beating a dead horse! I see what you did there! And I took the video down, so you don't have to listen to it anymore. You're welcome.
1919303 Buddy, I can apologize for myself, thank you. And that "shit." Well, I gotta agree that I was being an asshole with all of that. I took the video down and I've apologized, which again, I can do by myself.
1919254 Tell me something I don't know
1919138 If I had a history with Mr. Talon before now, I probably wouldn't have made the video. I now know he's a nice, civil person and he didn't deserve the endless and pointless bashing I gave his story, even if I do hate it.