That's about it, Tia! (Colgate Arc)
That's about it, Tia! (Colgate Arc)
Blueblood's story just gets more ridiculous with everything he says; how can I even be sure he's telling the truth? With a sigh, Celestia tapped the base of her horn, wanting to know why it always suddenly began hurting after Blueblood tried to explain things to her. Must be something he's doing wrong. Oh well...You can endure this, Tia! "Please, repeat what you just said to me again, Bluey, so I know that I'm not going deaf...Rarity...Mauled you? In...A marshmallow costume?"
A nod from Blueblood confirmed that she was not going deaf, and the tapping to the base of her horn intensified. Okay, once this is all over with, I better keep better tabs on what the heck happens in Ponyville. "I...See. What, exactly, did you do again to earn her disdain for you?"
"I...Err...More or less became an insufferable brat to her at the Gala, like I was when I was younger."
You still are a brat, though in a good way. The kind where everypony loves you whenever you do your thing. Like setting fire to cereal. I don't know how that happened, but it did. "So, tell me, what happened next?"
"Pain."
Blueblood had never wondered how mares could leave scratch marks whenever they 'broke' and began flailing their hooves (which didn't have any manner of claws or the like) around at somepony, but that was something he'd reflect on later, after his encounter with the marshmallow (he was also, later, wary of putting marshmallows in hot chocolate for a long time after this incident, for fear that they would suddenly swarm him and attempt to beat him into submission). "OW OW MAKE IT STOP OW-"
"You...You...Evil thing! How dare you treat me in such a fashion at the gala! I'll teach you to mess with somepony as fabulous as moi!"
Blueblood's response was occasionally interrupted by pain as he held his hooves up, trying to deflect the blows from the crazed mare. "I-OW, assure you, that I tho-STOP THAT, thought you were another mare just trying to get int-NOT IN THE FACE, trying to get into good standing with auntie Tia!"
Unfortunately, Blueblood's words only seemed to anger the marshmallow hitting him, and she continued to smack him around until Twilight finally stopped panicking long enough to put up a shield around the suffering (and now grateful) Blueblood. "Rarity, stop hurting my friend!"
The last two words spoken by Twilight were met with a cat-like screech by Rarity, who whirled around to face the other unicorn. "You?! Friends with this brute?! Twilight Sparkle, I expected better from you!"
Twilight winced at how her friend was screeching at her; it wasn't doing any good for her ears. "It's not entirely his fault! He tends to act like that in public to put off ponies away from him that he doesn't like or know! He assumes everypony he meets wants to try and use him to gain favors from him, and by extension, Princess Celestia!"
With a glare, Rarity stared down at a whimpering Blueblood, then at Twilight. "Gala."
Sighing, Twilight nodded. "He'll apologize. Won't you, Bluey?" For good measure, she forced him to stand back up, and unsteadily trying to keep his balance after such a vicious attack, he nodded.
"Yes...I'm v-very sorry, Miss Rarity, I d-didn't know you actually had a genuine interest in me, and for that, I am sorry for treating you as I do with the others."
"Well! You should not be too quick to judge ponies." Suddenly smiling, Rarity extended a hoof out towards Blueblood, who stared at it warily before gently taking it, giving Rarity a hoof-shake. "Now that's all settled...TWILIGHT SPARKLE!" From frightening, to warm, to frightening again, Blueblood wondered what kind of friends Twilight made in Ponyville, as his friend recoiled from having her name shouted. "What on Equestria did you do to burn such a beautiful if somewhat unconventional home?!"
Twilight raised a hoof to her right ear, convinced she had gone deaf in that ear. "Pinkie."
That name was all was needed to be said, to Blueblood's surprise. "Oh. Say no more, Twilight! I'd stay and chat a little more about why this all happened and why...Blueblood is here, but I'd rather not get involved with anything involving Pinkie Pie. Now, if you two will excuse me, I need to get back to the marshmallow convention." Rarity walked rather elegantly (which was quite the feat, as the marshmallow costume she was in dwarfed her) away, leaving behind a scared and confused Blueblood with a temporarily (to Twilight's later relief) deaf Twilight.
"Err. Okay." Still unsure on what terms he was with Rarity, Blueblood turned around to Twilight, and spoke, though he made sure it was to her left, and not her right. "Your friends are weird, Twilight, and I don't envy you. So, what about Colgate do you know?"
"Well, Bluey, they aren't so bad once you...Get used to the fact that they certainly aren't from Canterlot, and don't mind how crazy things get here sometimes. The first thing that tipped me off about Colgate's strange mannerisms was her cutie mark. I-"
At this, Blueblood couldn't help but chuckle and make a lewd question, as he had been trained to do so (the best fifty bits he ever spent, in his opinion). "Oh, really, Twilight? Been studying Colgate's cutie mark long and hard, like you do when you usually study things?"
"B-Bluey!" Twilight's face was flushed red, and she gently punched him, while he was trying to contain his laughter (to his failure). "Y-You're so immature! A-Anyway, it just seems a bit strange to me; an hourglass? I mean, she works at a workshop, and I've actually seen her work there, but I don't think her cutie mark matches the work she does, because she doesn't seem to be very good at it."
"That's rather mean, and, of course, cutie marks can mean very vague things; there isn't exactly a right or wrong way to interpret them if you think about it." Blueblood said, once he finally stopped laughing. He then settled his gaze on Colgate, who seemed to be conversing with a fire pony. "What do you think her special talent is, then?"
"Time."
"...That's a bit too broad for me to determine what you mean by that so you'll have to explain it to me."
With a sigh, Twilight took a moment to simplify her words before speaking. "She's always on time, always seems to have the right ponies or tools for the task at hoof whenever something needs to be done, is almost always there to avert a small disaster with some help, and is always first in line at Sugar cube corner for free franzbrötchen Friday."
Blueblood's next question was, of course, about what Twilight said last. "What's a franzbrötchen?"
Twilight waved a hoof over at a building designed as a gingerbread house. "Something that they bake at Sugar Cube Corner. Never mind that, Bluey! Point is, she always seems to be on time in instances like this, and it's just as impossible to figure out as Pinkie Pie, since she's so mysterious!"
With a sigh, Blueblood shook his head slowly. "That's about it, Tia! If you want to know where Colgate resides, she lives in a small home, sharing it with one Lyra Heartstrings, in a building located just off of Rarity's boutique. Nothing else of interest happened, and now, if you'll excuse me, I have to take a shower. Maybe multiple ones, at that, for my fur."
"Of course, Bluey, you may go. Take the chair with you, I think I've been wanting to order a new one anyway." Celestia nodded towards the door, which he shuffled on over to as he dragged the chair with him. With a slight frown, Celestia waited for him to leave her room (with her poor chair) before looking up at the sky. Lyra...If she's who I also think it is...It couldn't be mere coincidence, what this 'Colgate' is doing, and her description.... "Well...It seems like I'm paying Colgate and Lyra a visit. After all, I'm sure they remember what happened a thousand years ago."
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3287976
If people can make fried Kool-Aid, I think there might be a possibility that fried slurpees may be invented
Maybe
I'm not sure
I lost hope after fried ice cream so I wouldn't know
3283049
Half-true, actually
I do intend on writing other stuff, though this probably won't have an actual end since I'm enjoying the short little stories I write
I have a few cross-overs I'd like to do but first I want to go for one-hundred chapters of silly before beginning on one of them
If anything, updates will no longer be every even day (why I even chose that method to update by is beyond me), and most likely reduced to two to three a week
Wasn't abhuge fan of this chapter honestly... But that's just me.
lyre, Colgate and a thousand years ago ..... i am confused but my interest has been peaked...... now the only thing this story needs in my opinion is a episode based on fallout equestria or past sins and another story arch with at least 14,000 words in it ..... but i might be hoping for a bit much.
chapter not episode
free franzbrötchen Friday
free what friday?
3292364
Here you go
3291951
Sorry
3292124
While I would be willing to write another little arc in this universe, chances are that more likely than not it would have to be a different story entirely as making something like that would feel out of place from the casual, silly universe I've written here
The current arc I'm writing now has a few silly moments but it's certainly not up to par to what I've written before, and if I were to make the arc very, very long, it would most likely take what little time I spend on making the short, funny chapters, which is the core of what I've been writing
I feel like Fallout and Past Sins have been written to the point of over-saturation and I don't really think I could possibly condense a story about either of them into less than two-thousand words
Wanna know what's annoying? The fact I have been reading this from the start and I'm only up to chapter 63... I really need more free time...
3292402 No need to apologize, just I thought this wasn't as strong as your regular.
why do you do so much...i'm un-following the story.your being cliche, 1,000 years ago? i bet Lyra made a spell or Colgate is a time traveler! god you fuckin suck! i thought this story was amazing but no! Colgate Lyra and all the cliches to huh?! you really don't know how to do it do you? first it's (tiaaaa! i'm hungry!) to a thousand years ago!dumb bitch
3295178
While the cursing wasn't necessary and you'll probably not check back on my reply I might as well reply anyway to certain parts of your comment because why not, there might be other people with the same thing in mind
I wasn't going to make Colgate a time-traveler or have Lyra make a spell that would do something, but thank you for reducing the ideas that other people can think of about what I'm going to do with them
If I was going to use all the cliches, Colgate would be a dentist and Lyra would be living with Bon-Bon, which is not the case here, so I don't understand why you're accusing me of using 'all' of them
If I don't know how to do it then okay, at some point I'm going to make someone angry unintentionally with how I write but more power to you if you want to un-favorite the story
You could have also simply ignored the mini-arc and chapters you don't like, not everything I write is going to be funny to a certain person, especially if I write it in a slightly offensive way and I'm sorry if it offends you but you can only go so far with humor before you have to gently rib at a character to get funny results (as with Celestia failing against oak doors; while it wasn't funny to her, it was funny for Blueblood at the end of the chapter)
I think I'm done
I think
Good day
3293713
Yeah, I realize this arc isn't as funny as what I wrote before but I can only put so much silly into it
I don't know why but when I compare the introduction of Lyra and how Moonie entered this story I just laugh for no good reason.
They are really sparkling vamponies!