Little loony Luna and crazy caffeinated Celestia's life in Canterlot

by Vidhwansak

You got incoming, Tia! (Cupcake assault on the castle Arc)

You got incoming, Tia! (Cupcake assault on the castle Arc)

Heartstrings, do you believe in love at first sight?

I have a brick in my purse if anypony tries to make a 'move' on me.

...I'll take that as a no, then.

Minuette and Heartstrings were currently disguised as normal, everyday unicorns (which was a far harder thing to perform than it actually was; you had to order the typical Canterlot food ordered by unicorns, have the 'normal' Canterlot attitude that many ponies disliked, and eat in the Canterlot way, which was daintily and with comments about how expensive the meal was) having lunch together, with one of Vinyl Scratch's softer tunes playing in the background. They were simply on a routine stealth patrol through the city, and nothing exciting had happened so far on the patrol. Nothing excited had really happened at all, in fact, once the contract was renewed for the modern day Equestria. Of course, that was somewhat expected; after all, Equestria was not the safe place it currently is, a thousand years ago, and it was far better that nothing happened. However, they had expected a something to do, at least a bar fight, or perhaps a thief trying their luck! Alas, they had nothing to test their skills as Background Ponies.

Minuette sipped at her drink, feeling despair well up inside of her. Equestria is boring now. Nothing exciting happens! It's always the Elements of Harmony that solves everything, which makes our job so boooooooooring!

Yep. I'm beginning to think that we might not be needed anymore. So...Wait. I see some suspicious activity going on right now. Out of the corner of her left eye, Heartstrings saw a rather peculiar sight, one that she hoped meant that something exciting was going to happen. Look, over there; there's a pony, dressed in black, most likely a unicorn from the hat they're wearing, as there seems to be a slight protrusion that suggests a horn. I am unable to currently confirm if they are stallion or mare from this distance, though if I had to hazard a guess I would most likely say that the pony is a stallion, with that large body build.

Minuette looked around for the pony that Heartstrings described, though she quickly saw that it was a lost cause to even try and begin searching for this pony. She turned her head around to stare at her partner flatly. The only problem I see with your analysis is the fact that black clothing covering the entire body seems to be the latest fashion trend, Heartstrings, so I am unable to locate this pony. Urgh, it's so...Painful to see ponies trying to make themselves stand out with black of all colours of the rainbow. Heck, it isn't even a colour!

With a groan, Heartstrings slapped Minuette across the face (causing her partner to wince from the sudden pain and cause a few ponies to raise a few brows at them), and pointed over towards Canterlot square. The one standing on the soapbox, you twit. Sensing that they were being watched, Heartstrings made up an excuse on the spot. "You, dear, have absolutely no taste for the finer food in Canterlot! Don't lie, I can see you don't find satisfaction in that absolutely gorgeous salad!" Thankfully, the ponies were interested in the little slap that occurred rolled their eyes and went back to their own meal, deeming the action as 'high class ponies acting dumb'.

Was that really necessary? I can't argue with the fact that I actually don't enjoy the salad, though; seriously, this thing is disgusting. With a sigh, Minuette stared out towards the pony Heartstrings described, and sure enough, there was a pony dressed exactly as Heartstrings described on a soapbox, who seemed to be gathering a crowd around him, with most of them similarly dressed up like the pony on the soapbox, with black clothing covering up the majority of their body.

Yes, yes it was necessary because you can't look with that pathetic excuse you call eyesight. It's also not like I have much to work with, other than the fact that you really do don't seem to like the overpriced salad that I TOLD you not to buy since we both knew it was going to be expensive, plastic-tasting garbage.

Any insult in retaliation to Heartstrings was held back as the pony on the soapbox began speaking out. "Brothers, sisters, gather around, for I have prepared a short speech!"

That voice...It's that same stallion from last week, isn't it, that came up on a soapbox and began preaching something about the moon?

Suddenly disinterested in whatever the stallion had to say, Minuette nodded. Most likely, unfortunately.

"We are gathered here today to witness the beginning of what will be a glorious revolution that will change Equestria forever! We are going to take down the tyrant that dare calls herself a princess! For too long, the sun tyrant has ruled over Equestria, and has changed society to fit her own needs when her sister was shoved out of the way! Day in, day out, for countless years, we have been forced to toil endlessly without rest for the sun tyrant's own vision of what she thought was necessary for Equestria! So much of our economy goes to funding projects that are of no use, such as her cake bunker! Who needs a bunker for cake?! I don't, and I intend to change that today, with your help!

Many of you have looked forward to the time where you could sleep underneath the cold, beautiful moon, to the time where we can relax and rest our tired bodies before needing to return to work in the terrible, blistering sun for a tyrant that cares not for her subjects! Well, no more, I say! No more to having to work underneath such terrible conditions in the accursed daylight! With the return of our lunar matriarch, that gives us all the reason to begin our take over of Canterlot and to show all who doubt us who the rightful ruler of Equestria truly is!" The stallion's words were drowned out by a mass cheering, which gave Heartstrings and Minuette some time to relay thoughts to each other.

Ugh. He really needs to get off his soapbox, and I mean that literally and figuratively. I'm not interested in him spewing the same hay he's been spouting off for the past few days. I mean, he could take a night-shift or something, instead of...Spouting out nonsense that ponies are unfortunately believing. Whatever happened to common sense? Heartstrings turned back over to her food, munching on some pasta she had ordered, before she realized that there might be an event connected to this speech. Wait. I'm a bit worried...Wasn't there a mob that stormed Fancy Pants' mansion to 'secure funds' for a 'war machine' or something like that just three days ago, with ponies all dressed in black, screaming badly-written poetry about Lulu as their battle-cry?

Yes, however, apparently Fleur routed the entire mob that advanced upon the mansion with nothing more than a spatula and a battle-cry, while Fancy Pants was right beside her the entire time, brandishing a mop at would-be aggressors who dared approach them with amazing skill. They did say, though, that some of their funds have been taken, though not a large amount by any means. I have to say, I'm not sure what I'm more amazed by, the fact that two unicorns were able to successfully fend off a large mob with nothing more than a spatula, a mop and some magic, or the fact that this stallion and his accomplices are still not in jail, as both are quite the accomplishment. You think Fancy Pants and Fleur would make good Background Ponies?

Heartstrings set aside the ponies in black in the back of her mind, and mulled over the idea of Fancy Pants' and Fleur becoming background ponies like themselves; for once, she didn't know what would be an appropriate answer for these ponies in question, as they presented an interesting circumstance. ...I'm not entirely sure if I should make the call here, Minuette. The old contract forbade the princesses to recruit married couples as there was a chance that they might feel more compelled to save their partner's life over the greater duty of protecting Equestria. Of course, I'm unsure if the new contract has that same little rule inside of it, but until I look over it, we should not attempt to offer them the invitation.

This time, it was Minuette who smacked Heartstrings, with an irritated look on her face, which also ended up gathering a little bit of attention. You're dumb, Heartstrings, and you should feel dumb for saying that because you obviously haven't done your research on potential ponies. They're brother and sister, Heartstrings, not a married couple. "You tell me that I do not find my satisfaction in this salad, yet I see you not paying very much attention to your pasta yourself!" Minuette heard murmurs of 'typical unicorns' and 'fussy eaters', and sighed inwardly, glad that attention was once again off of them. While it was a bit sad to know that she had to act like this, Minuette knew that she had to act like the 'typical' unicorns in order to blend in easier.

A sheepish-looking Heartstrings rubbed her muzzle softly, wondering how she could have confused the two as being a couple. Really? Hmph, well, that's...Embarrassing for me, to see that I confused them for being married. Though, not as much as your excuse, because I actually happen to LIKE my pasta.

With a sigh, Minuette picked up a breadstick, slathering some seasoning salt over the breadstick before munching on it. Don't flatter me too much, I might think you're actually hitting on me instead. I...Oh, look, the crowd is quietening down again and the stallion looks like he's getting ready to speak again.

"Brothers, sisters! Today, we march for the castle!" The stallion held up a cupcake, and to Heartstrings' and Minuette's surprise, the mob all held up some kind of baked confectionery, and even some ponies on the sidelines that weren't dressed in black held up a sort of baked good. They then began marching up the road to the castle in a surprisingly well-trained manner, and began singing badly-written poetry, about three-thousand ponies strong in force. Minuette plugged her ears up with her hooves, unable to listen to such terrible noise.

I really hate poetry. Anyway, I think Celestia is about to have a very bad day very soon if we don't warn her, her sister, and the royal guard about the mob that's about to try and perform a repeat of the events that happened a thousand years ago, just with a smaller number of ponies and with baked goods rather than weapons. "Do you not think that ponies could not sing much worse?"

With a nod, Heartstrings reached over for a napkin, and daintily wiped at her mouth, looking over at he crowd with disdain. "Indeed; they must be poor since they seem to have had no singing lessons! Such dreadful noise!" ...Ignoring the fact that you think I'm hitting on you, no kidding, I'm pretty sure nopony wants to deal with an angry mob right after lunch, even if they're an all-powerful alicorn that could wipe the floor with them, literally. I'll start an automated message to all Background ponies in the area; you go ahead get a head-start on giving out a warning on what's going to happen to everypony in the castle, so we have more time to prepare our defenses.

Roger, roger. Be safe, Heartstrings, I won't be here to bail you out if you get into trouble, as usual. I'm setting the time for fifty-nine minutes, as I normally do, but I'm expecting you to be at the castle in thirty, in case something goes horribly wrong in the past and I need to bail out quickly. Minuette quickly looked around to ensure that nopony was watching, then disappeared in a muted flash, leaving in her place a small, antique clock that was fifty-nine minutes behind the current time, complete with a necklace that suggested that it could be wrapped around a pony's neck.

Reaching over, Heartsrings picked up the antique clock, and attached the clock around her neck, which, in reality, was Minuette's anchor to the present; once she had finished travelling fifty-nine minutes in the past or felt like she could return safely to the present, the clock would light up, telling Heartstrings that she had roughly twenty seconds to throw the clock on the floor and watch as Minuette popped back into the present. Failure to do so in time caused Minuette to 'spawn' back into the present directly a foot above her...Which disoriented both unicorns as they would soon be in a tangled heap with one another. I wonder what travelling through time is like; it's a pretty interesting power, all things considered, and it seems like it would be extremely useful, indeed, with the power to sway ponies into other decisions that they normally would have never thought of. Heartstrings took a moment to muse over the possibilities before sighing. Eh, seems dumb and too complicated, with its limitations and all. If only it didn't have them, it would be quite an amazing power! I suppose those limitations are there to prevent Minuette from doing too much harm, though. Anyway, time to start on sending out that message.

Heartstrings left the cafe in a relaxed manner, though her mind was anything but relaxed, as she sent out a mental alert to all Background Ponies in the area that would repeat itself. Attention, all Background Ponies located in the Canterlot area or in a nearby sector, we are about to come under attack, I repeat, we are about to come under attack! A mob roughly three-thousand strong is armed with cupcakes and other baked goods. Yes, I said baked goods. That's not the point, however! They will easily overwhelm the royal guard in sheer numbers if we don't stop them, as most of the royal guard is stationed in the Crystal Empire to help stabilize the peace. Our rendezvous point will be in the Grand Hall, where we will discuss potential strategies for dealing with this mob. This message will repeat in five seconds.

Having sent out the automated message that would quickly bring together any Background Ponies rushing to their aid, Heartstrings began making her way to the castle as quickly as she could without bringing any attention to herself. You got incoming, Tia! I just hope that we can stomp this senseless rebellion quickly before anypony gets hurt...

Author's Note:

Say hi to another arc

This is my take on poking a little fun at the whole 'Lunar Republic' and 'Solar Empire' thing, just like how I poked fun at shipping

The Background Ponies will save the day! Maybe!

Happy Thanksgiving

Comments

[The Monster Inside]

*holds up ginger cake* "for the lunar republic

[zyr1987]

My thougths as I read about these ponies storming Fancypants' home (written as I read them):

"Yes, however, apparently Fleur routed the entire mob that advanced upon the mansion with nothing more than a spatula and a battle-cry, while Fancy Pants was right beside her the entire time, brandishing a mop at would-be aggressors who dared approach them with amazing skill. They did say, though, that some of their funds have been taken, though not a large amount by any means. I have to say, I'm not sure what I'm more amazed by, the fact that two unicorns were able to successfully fend off a large mob with nothing more than a spatula, a mop and some magic, or the fact that this stallion and his accomplices are still not in jail, as both are quite the accomplishment. You think Fancy Pants and Fleur would make good Background Ponies?"

Fancy and Fleur, my new favorite battle couple!

"You're dumb, Heartstrings, and you should feel dumb for saying that because you obviously haven't done your research on potential ponies. They're brother and sister, Heartstrings, not a married couple."

Er, or not. (Shipping opportunities, ho!)

Anyway, this can only end well, and I am so looking forward to the food battle to come.

[xv22shasokais]

A cupcake battle.
If Canterlot can survive four crazy alicorns, it will survive this.

[The Monster Inside]

3551672 wait *lowers cake* ... im not sure who i support.... the celestial empire (celestia), the luner republic (luna), the satellite rebellion (nightmare moon), the shifting horde (chrysislis),the discordian democracy (discord), the diamond union (cadence), the obsidion dictatorship (sombre) or the twilight coalition

[Razzy]

*holds up a kiwi cake* For the Shifting Horde!