If you ever got the chance, would you speak to yourself, one on one? Most would. What about... your shadow? Would you be able to deal with the secrets of your life that it holds? Twilight is assigned to delve deep into the question an explore the answer, but revelations ends up telling her a truth about herself almost unbearable to accept; a truth regarding her past...
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I am having a lot of trouble following the logic of this story. Nothing in it seems to make sense. First Twilight is talking to Celestia, and for some reason Celestia gives her dark magic. She admits that the spell could be psychologically harmful, then she disappears and I guess she was a memory all along. I can't believe Celestia would be this thoughtless.
So now we're in a different scene where Twilight has the dark magic book. She summons a shadow that claims to be a part of her, and she instantly believes it for no reason, even though the things it says make no sense. Twilight is too stupid in this scene. It's ok to have her tricked by a dark force, but you have to make it clear that that's what's happening.
And then out of nowhere Trixie! Somehow Twilight knows where Trixie is, even though she is in the middle of nowhere. So she goes up to her door and they have the strangest, most contrived conversation I have read in a long time. From this, Twilight concludes that she needs to give up her alicorn magic to Trixie.
It seems clear the characters are acting on your behalf, and not with their own motives. Why would Twilight want to do any of these things? Why would Celestia disappear so conveniently? You need to think things through more clearly.
2374267 I appreciate your review, and thank you for the pointers. I guess it didn't occur to me that Twilight wouldn't believe the shadow was technically her... and I could've made it clearer her talking with Celestia was a memory... Maybe continuing the story isn't such a good idea after all...
Thank you once again.
thank you for writing this
2376980 Oh, you're more than welcome!
Actually I am really surprised you stopped it at part 1 -- the reason is that the shadow said there were all sorts of things she did from her past, each worse than the last. Of course here she is apologizing for being in the right place at the right time. If Trixie could also have filled the role then it was not her fault that she was in line first.
I figured each chapter would have another "misdeed" which she would atone for until it found one that she couldn't.
2379900 Intentionally, that was on my mind. However, this was the only negative deed I could come up with. Lol, so I could've done that, but honestly, I'm lazy with idea building.
2380353
Thing is these are NOT negative deeds -- or at least they do not have to be. They are "If I weren't here somepony else would have been in better shape."
I was going to post about five of them here but I decided it would be better to mail you them.
Why did you give this story a "dark" tag?
2567632 Dark can mean the mood I was trying to achieve. I know it wasn't scary or anything, but I figured at that time, it was appropriate.