I can't imagine any good end to this. Given the heartless crap your putting the characters through I wouldn't put suicide by one or more them passed you.
Crossed my fingers the Dinky thing wouldn't happen but knew it would.
This is horrible... in the best way? I usually don't read dark fics, but i think this is what a good one looks like. I'm not really happy about it. Enjoying it, but not happy. It feels like you've spent too much time and thought on it to not finish it, and it's really good, but frankly i'm more excited for when you put your skills to work on something that isn't so depressingly grim.
2601955 I have a few things in mind that I might work on in leiu of clop, or along it. This story has that weird effect where I'm not as effected by the events within it as the reader. If anything.
Damn dude, you just keep on ratcheting up the uncomfortable levels to the max. I mean, its still a good story, but goddamn, this is getting harder to read. Let's see what terrible fate you have lined up next for the poor kids.
Could it be that Rumble is teeny tiny bit jealous of his older brother..? That and/or projecting the things he doesn't like about himself onto Thunderlane?
My problem with the perspective isn't that. It doesn't specify that it's rumbles thoughts in places, and if the narrator and rumble share the same thoughts instead of specifying, it might as well be first person from his perspective.
Sorry but I dont like this chapter. I was hoping for some resolution or atleast a chapter without any major drama. Rumble raping Dinky just spoilt it for me. I liked the idea of this being about just Rumble and Scootaloo. Bringing another in in such a way just seems kinda off-putting.
That said I liked the story before and after that point.
I have to say, I expected Scootaloo to be dead there, when Rumble got to her house. Just seemed to be the direction the story was taking. His aberrant behavior seems to be developing just about along the lines I figured it would.
I get this weird feeling the kind of nebulous subplot involving Silver Spoon is going to play a bigger part in the end of the story than seems likely at this point.
All speculation aside, this chapter had me cringing at a few places. The quality of writing is still very good, as is the characterization. At least insofar as the characteristics you've instilled in them staying constant. However, I can tell you why you had such a hard time writing this chapter. No one does that to Dinkie Do without suffering in some way or another.
Wow. This chapter. Just. Wow. I don't know if I should fantasize about being a sadistic megalomaniac who is controling everything from the background, or strap on a suicide vest and jump off a cliff.
But hold on. When I sat down to read this, I was NOT expecting what I got. You've gone and written something that is all kinds of taboo and wrong.
But....this fic. Holy shit. It just filled me with this feeling. I loved it, through and through, you did a beautiful job. I can't hate anything. But as it went on, I was waiting for the part where it got happier, like most fics do. And it just didn't happen. I waited and waited and waited. Reading more and more, this feeling grew and grew. By the end, I had a sickening, heartwrenching feeling in my chest. I feel for these characters, my heart goes out to them, but most of all I just want to be sick because it doesn't stop.
This was brilliant. That's all I can say. Rumble's character perfectly embodies what someone going through that sort of trauma would feel; confusion, anxiety coupled with regular teen agst, frustration, fear. Scootaloo desperately trying to justify her actions and wanting it to be better, wanting to just be with Rumble, who couldn't possibly love her, because he just doesn't know what love is.
This fic caught me off guard. First one I've read in a long time (A fact I regret). I won't lie, I basically had to force myself to read chapter 8 (Most of it was a lot of skimming). And if I wasn't sick before, I certainly am now. It filled me with dread and sorrow, right to the last sentence. Everything about it was perfectly evil and distorted. The entire time the scenery just felt dull and dingy. The whole fic had that tone.
There is no happiness in this. There is no characters having a fun time and just having a good time, and as someone who really enjoys cute things and romance fics, I really want to fucking hate you. I really, really do.
You're a genious. A foul, evil, sinister fucking genius. And I applaud you for how daring this fic was. I respect the chance you took, and give you it an upvote because it was more than good. It was a masterpiece.
I do not cry to things easy. I am not emotional. But this just wretches me in a way I haven't felt since my teen angst years. It literally brought me back to a point I haven't felt, let alone thought about in a long time, and I know that is exactly what was intended.
Bravo. You get a fucking bravo for this horrible, wretched masterpiece.
I'm sorry to say that I won't be waiting for the next chapter. Once I close this fic I'm closing it for good, as it's gonna take weeks to get that feeling out of my head.
You must be some kind of talented artist to leave me feeling sick for days....
Ok, so there is one thing I have to say about this story as it stands (8 Chapter)
Badgerpony, you are a serious asshole. And I fucking love you. You are a sadistic genius. And you must have a seriously fucked up mind. This story has no joy, no happiness and no fucking shortage of rage and anger. This fic has left me with a sickly feeling in my gut the likes of which I haven't felt since my Grandad passed away back in 2007.
If I ever have to choose between being fucked in the ass by a horse, or reading another one of your fanfics, I will personally have a horse outfit custom designed with a hole right where my asshole is.
What You Can’t Tell Anypony Else, or Rumble’s Reluctance is a dark story. It isn’t clop, although there is sex. Sex is the subject. And that subject is torn out and pulled into the light, crushed, mixed with raw hormones and angst, then shaken and stirred. The cocktail is garnished with shame and confusion. This story might evoke lust, but if there is one emotion this story will evoke, if there is one thing it will make you feel, it’s uncomfortable. It’s definitely worth reading, but only if you are prepared for some heavy stuff.
So from what I've read and all the comments I think the best word that describes this fic is...uncomfortable. It's a horrible story but its so well written and such a good read. It ripped my heart out when you put Dinky at the movie theater that first time, I knew what was going to happen to her and then it happened. It's almost as bad as the time I read where Dinky cooked herself in an oven. But anyways I want to see this through to the end so please end it, preferably soonish but not rushed and it won't be happy. It'll be far from happy, I put my money on someone ending up dead.
I don't want to like this story, but it's too well-written to hate. The distinct voices of the two perspectives, the complex characters, the inescapable consequences... it's like a deconstruction of a much more carefree clopfic, and a very good one at that.
Also, I pity Rumble. Not for the beatdown he has received, but for the one he has coming. Watch for falling pianos, young colt...
2842842 So, when is the next chapter planed to be released.
P.S. I want to congratulate you on how this made me feel. Love dark sad reality stories, and this is one of the best ones. You don't throw things into your story to make it longer, you don't care about being nice or fare to the characters, and I love this story because of it's brutality that is real and actually happens. Not some end of the world fic where all is lost, the characters have a chance to turn around and they don't because they are confused and want to believe in something.
....GOOD ON YA, MATE!
It's better with the rape confession as the end, IMO.
Also: Awesome in general.
I can't imagine any good end to this. Given the heartless crap your putting the characters through I wouldn't put suicide by one or more them passed you.
Crossed my fingers the Dinky thing wouldn't happen but knew it would.
This is horrible... in the best way? I usually don't read dark fics, but i think this is what a good one looks like. I'm not really happy about it. Enjoying it, but not happy. It feels like you've spent too much time and thought on it to not finish it, and it's really good, but frankly i'm more excited for when you put your skills to work on something that isn't so depressingly grim.
2601955 I have a few things in mind that I might work on in leiu of clop, or along it. This story has that weird effect where I'm not as effected by the events within it as the reader. If anything.
Damn dude, you just keep on ratcheting up the uncomfortable levels to the max. I mean, its still a good story, but goddamn, this is getting harder to read. Let's see what terrible fate you have lined up next for the poor kids.
2602388
Well, in my opinion, this was a very good chapter.
I like this story more than I rightfully should...
The conflict of this story is a constantly-growing, never-resolving pile of trouble that just keeps getting larger and larger.
Interesting to see the resolution. Or when the dam finally bursts. Interesting read, man; glad you found it in you to push through it.
Hot damn this is dramatic
Eww and nice at the same time...
I like how ya described Berry Punch in the note there. Completely agree!
encrypted-tbn3.gstatic.com/images?q=tbn:ANd9GcTGlcYM39noEP-asVoDQtRCW5DY_M6gLdBTdcqMf3gi-Ho9rLu2
2608734 DAT SPAH AIN'T ON ARR SAHD
2609222 *ahem* everyone back to the base, pardner
2609530 Son, I'm gonna blow you like a rented mule.
2609824 I think not.
2610153 okay that's enough of that
2610335 I agree I could hardly contain myself
so far its been a good story.
i can't quite tell where it's going to end up, but that's a good thing.
i will follow this story, good job so far.
Could it be that Rumble is teeny tiny bit jealous of his older brother..? That and/or projecting the things he doesn't like about himself onto Thunderlane?
Well... shit, man.
2611673 Could be. Although it doesn't help that Thunderlane isn't exactly the nicest guy, either.
2619105 Yes, finally, something not praise!
Although I think it's fairly clear that it's third-person limited, unless I'm doing something wrong...
2619155
My problem with the perspective isn't that. It doesn't specify that it's rumbles thoughts in places, and if the narrator and rumble share the same thoughts instead of specifying, it might as well be first person from his perspective.
Sorry but I dont like this chapter. I was hoping for some resolution or atleast a chapter without any major drama. Rumble raping Dinky just spoilt it for me. I liked the idea of this being about just Rumble and Scootaloo. Bringing another in in such a way just seems kinda off-putting.
That said I liked the story before and after that point.
2626014 Trust me on this, it was totally neccessary to bring about the events that will lead us to the conclusion. Bear with me here, okay?
At the very least, we went back to Rumbleloo at the end.
2626867 Do go on.
I have to say, I expected Scootaloo to be dead there, when Rumble got to her house. Just seemed to be the direction the story was taking. His aberrant behavior seems to be developing just about along the lines I figured it would.
I get this weird feeling the kind of nebulous subplot involving Silver Spoon is going to play a bigger part in the end of the story than seems likely at this point.
All speculation aside, this chapter had me cringing at a few places. The quality of writing is still very good, as is the characterization. At least insofar as the characteristics you've instilled in them staying constant. However, I can tell you why you had such a hard time writing this chapter. No one does that to Dinkie Do without suffering in some way or another.
... I half expected Scootaloo to bust out from a hiding place in the theater and go full Yuno Gasai on Rumble and Dinky beore the rape scene.
2630871 Thank you for making me google shit. Again.
2631114 Do you regret it?
2631155 No. I'm just more...
Ech.
2631185 Mirai Nikki does that. IT'S AWESOME
2631203 Pal, if you're gonna talk anime from this point forward, it better be tentacle porn suggestions.
2631224 Err... Taimanen Asagi was it?
2631228 Whatever. Best discussed elsewhere.
Wow. This chapter. Just. Wow. I don't know if I should fantasize about being a sadistic megalomaniac who is controling everything from the background, or strap on a suicide vest and jump off a cliff.
Okay, post time.
This fic literally made me sick.
But hold on.
When I sat down to read this, I was NOT expecting what I got. You've gone and written something that is all kinds of taboo and wrong.
But....this fic. Holy shit. It just filled me with this feeling. I loved it, through and through, you did a beautiful job. I can't hate anything. But as it went on, I was waiting for the part where it got happier, like most fics do. And it just didn't happen. I waited and waited and waited. Reading more and more, this feeling grew and grew. By the end, I had a sickening, heartwrenching feeling in my chest. I feel for these characters, my heart goes out to them, but most of all I just want to be sick because it doesn't stop.
This was brilliant. That's all I can say. Rumble's character perfectly embodies what someone going through that sort of trauma would feel; confusion, anxiety coupled with regular teen agst, frustration, fear. Scootaloo desperately trying to justify her actions and wanting it to be better, wanting to just be with Rumble, who couldn't possibly love her, because he just doesn't know what love is.
This fic caught me off guard. First one I've read in a long time (A fact I regret). I won't lie, I basically had to force myself to read chapter 8 (Most of it was a lot of skimming). And if I wasn't sick before, I certainly am now. It filled me with dread and sorrow, right to the last sentence. Everything about it was perfectly evil and distorted. The entire time the scenery just felt dull and dingy. The whole fic had that tone.
There is no happiness in this. There is no characters having a fun time and just having a good time, and as someone who really enjoys cute things and romance fics, I really want to fucking hate you. I really, really do.
You're a genious. A foul, evil, sinister fucking genius. And I applaud you for how daring this fic was. I respect the chance you took, and give you it an upvote because it was more than good. It was a masterpiece.
I do not cry to things easy. I am not emotional. But this just wretches me in a way I haven't felt since my teen angst years. It literally brought me back to a point I haven't felt, let alone thought about in a long time, and I know that is exactly what was intended.
Bravo. You get a fucking bravo for this horrible, wretched masterpiece.
I'm sorry to say that I won't be waiting for the next chapter. Once I close this fic I'm closing it for good, as it's gonna take weeks to get that feeling out of my head.
You must be some kind of talented artist to leave me feeling sick for days....
Ok, so there is one thing I have to say about this story as it stands (8 Chapter)
Badgerpony, you are a serious asshole. And I fucking love you.
You are a sadistic genius. And you must have a seriously fucked up mind.
This story has no joy, no happiness and no fucking shortage of rage and anger.
This fic has left me with a sickly feeling in my gut the likes of which I haven't felt since my Grandad passed away back in 2007.
If I ever have to choose between being fucked in the ass by a horse, or reading another one of your fanfics, I will personally have a horse outfit custom designed with a hole right where my asshole is.
2650068 Most of the stuff I write is far, far, FAR softer than this.
This story has been reviewed by: The Equestrian Critics Society
Story Title: What You Can’t Tell Anypony Else, or Rumble’s Reluctance
Author: The Illusive Badgerpony
Reviewed by: Shahrazad
What You Can’t Tell Anypony Else, or Rumble’s Reluctance is a dark story. It isn’t clop, although there is sex. Sex is the subject. And that subject is torn out and pulled into the light, crushed, mixed with raw hormones and angst, then shaken and stirred. The cocktail is garnished with shame and confusion. This story might evoke lust, but if there is one emotion this story will evoke, if there is one thing it will make you feel, it’s uncomfortable. It’s definitely worth reading, but only if you are prepared for some heavy stuff.
Full Review
Score: 8.5/10
2658805 I saw. I loved. I thank.
So from what I've read and all the comments I think the best word that describes this fic is...uncomfortable. It's a horrible story but its so well written and such a good read. It ripped my heart out when you put Dinky at the movie theater that first time, I knew what was going to happen to her and then it happened. It's almost as bad as the time I read where Dinky cooked herself in an oven. But anyways I want to see this through to the end so please end it, preferably soonish but not rushed and it won't be happy. It'll be far from happy, I put my money on someone ending up dead.
I don't want to like this story, but it's too well-written to hate. The distinct voices of the two perspectives, the complex characters, the inescapable consequences... it's like a deconstruction of a much more carefree clopfic, and a very good one at that.
Also, I pity Rumble. Not for the beatdown he has received, but for the one he has coming. Watch for falling pianos, young colt...
Damn.
2842412 Didn't you know? Ornography brings in the big bigs! After all, the internet is for orn!
2842842 So, when is the next chapter planed to be released.
P.S. I want to congratulate you on how this made me feel. Love dark sad reality stories, and this is one of the best ones. You don't throw things into your story to make it longer, you don't care about being nice or fare to the characters, and I love this story because of it's brutality that is real and actually happens. Not some end of the world fic where all is lost, the characters have a chance to turn around and they don't because they are confused and want to believe in something.
2846846 Next chapter will be released on the 20th at the latest.
2846855 cool thanks man