Close Encounters of the Pony-Kind
Jake reached into the center console of the cockpit behind the throttle quadrant and pulled out his pilots liscense he had put there after showing it to Celestia, he thought it'd be best to have it just in case.
The pain to his forehead commenced once again, and he answered its call by putting pressure on it with a rag he found in the console. Using his right hoof to hold the cloth, he used his left to unbuckle the harness he was in to get out of the aircraft before those mad ponies he saw a second ago got to him. Unfortunately, he wasn't successful as the rainbow maned pony slammed down on the nose of the plane, glaring at him with frightening eyes through the windshield. The glass was high grade, practically bulletproof material, yet he didn't feel to safe at the moment. Due to his window next to him being cracked open a little bit, he was able to hear her crystal clear.
"What the hay is your problem mister! You coulda killed me back there! Do you know who I am?! I'm the fastest flyer in all of Equestria, and that stunt you pulled back there almost took me down! Lemme in there so I can teach you a lesson you mother-" her rant was interrupted by a lasso swinging up onto the nose of the plane and tightening around a handle that was used to gain access to the avionic's components. He assumed this was the orange pony he saw running along side this crazy rainbow one now identified to him as Rainbow Dash. How she was that skilled in aiming the lasso he would never know. After a few seconds, she appeared over the front of the nose and joined Rainbow Dash in her stare-down.
"Do realize what you just done you low down varmit?! You destroyed the roof of mah barn and injured my brother! Boy when I getting hooves on you you'll be sorry you ever messed around with the Apple family!"
Jake could only sit there in shock, one hoof still over his bleeding wound, and the other on the buckle of the last strap keeping him in his prison of painful stares from the two ponies looking in. Finally, he got the courage to say something.
"Look, I'm sure you're very upset with what I did."
"Your darn right we are!" Applejack interrupted.
Jake continued, "But you have to believe me! What I did wasn't on purpose, my airplane ran out of fuel after being transported here by some weird bolt of electricity. I flew for a couple hours unconcious. It's a miracle I didn't crash THEN now that I think about it." He drifted off topic to think about his luck in surviving while knocked out, but blinked a few times to bring him back to the present and continued. "Anyways, I had to land. Seeing that this field was the only spot flat and long enough to land. I opted for it. It was just an unfortunate coincidence that your barn was in the way. I couldn't gain anymore altitude because I had no more engine power. So you see, I didn't want this to happen...hell I didn't want ANY of this to happen, I'm lost, tired, hurt, I don't even know what world I'm in! I'm somehow a pony now, and to be honest...I'm pretty scared." He let out a long sigh and leaned back into the seat, staring off past Applejack and Rainbow Dash, thinking to himself.
Being the Element of Honesty, Applejack could tell there was some truth to his rebuttal. So being the kind pony she was, she decided to give him a chance.
"Alright then mister, if what you say is true, then ahm willin' ta give y'all a chance. But I still don't trust ya as far as I can throw ya."
Jake realized this was the best he was going to get from her, and was happy with it.
"Very well, I'm sorry for the trouble I put you and your brother through." He turned to Rainbow Dash, "And I'm sorry for almost hurting you, I'll make it up to both of you somehow, but for now I need to get this head wound patched up and get out of this plane. Is there a pers-er um, pony, that I could talk to that has some authority around here. I need to explain the situation to them."
Applejack leaned off to the side of the nose and looked off behind the plane. Getting a full view of the rest of her friends followed by half the town closing in on the crash sight. She smirked and turned back towards him.
"Well mister, I think they're here already."
Jake pulled the window open enough to stick his head through. He looked back in the direction Applejack had been looking and saw what she saw.
"Gee, I wanted one pony, not the whole calvary. Guess I better go introduce myself and clear up the mess between us. Hop down and meet me in the very back of the plane, I'll open the cargo ramp."
He proceeded to unbuckle the last harness and rise from the seat onto his three new legs, the fourth still being occupied by the now blood soaked cloth. He started to get a little dizzy from rising so fast and had to regain his balance. The cut must've been deeper than he thought because it was bleeding more profusely than before.
Applejack clambered down from the nose and made her way to the back of the plane, Rainbow Dash hovered down next to her, floating just off the ground. Both observed the C-130's massive wingspan and huge engines as they walked under them into the long shadow they casted. They looked powerful.
"Y'all ever see anythin' like this before Dash?" she asked.
"Not in my lifetime, pshh I can probably fly faster than this thing."
Applejack rolled her eyes, "Yer probably right, but look at it, it allows an earth pony like him to fly without natural wings. And it's huge. I don't think I've ever seen a machine this big."
Their conversation was ended by their arrival to the planes tail end. A minute later, Twilight and everyone else joined them. There were quiet murmurs around the crowd on what this enormous contraption sitting before them really was. Twilight stopped the murmurs with a raised hoof and proceeded to interrogate the farm pony and the tom-colt pony about their encounter with whomever it was up there.
"So did you see them? What are they like. Are they injured?"
Applejack brought up a hoof and silenced the unicorn.
"Twilight, calm down. Yes we saw him and he said his landin' here was an accident." She proceeded to tell the studious pony everything about their encounter and what he explained to them as she took notes, using her magic to levitate a quill.
Back in the C-130, Jake was feeling very woozy, but made his way down into the cargo hold. He had trouble walking straight and had to constantly lean up against the Dodge still strapped down next to him. He made his way to the back and leaned against the front grill of the black truck to regain his composure.
"Ok, you can do this, just be calm, cool and collected, and everything will work out fine."
He slowly worked his way over to the red lever on the side of the fuselage and pulled down. The lever wouldn't budge. He gave it a second go, hanging almost all of his weight on it, until it freed and came down, releasing the same hydraulic hiss from before. He looked over as a crack of white light appeared where the ramp started to open and squinted into it. Not noticing the blood that had filled the rag and was now streaming down the side of his face.
Outside, everyone looked on in anticipation as the cargo door started to open. It slowly descended, the mechanism controlling the ramp making a high-pitched whine as it let it down. Seconds later, the door was down, and everyone looked at him and gasped. He was standing there, hoof still on his forehead, with blood running down his face.
"Uh, what's wrong?" He looked up and felt around his face with his rag-hoof. He felt wetness all around his face.
"Aw crap." Then, for the third time in one day, Captain Jake Weston fell to the floor, unconscious.
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i'm willing to give this a shot
you are the first writer to have the main hero accompanied by cars
I am a petrolhead mtself and I approve of this story
Congrats on reaching the popular bar!
Well, I haven't read it all through yet, but I'm surprised that this has already made the feature box. No offense to your story, but I think the math behind the system needs a little bit of fine-tuning.
Okay, in the later chapters you seem to be hitting your stride. I'd like to offer my services as editor if you require them.
Thanks everyone, I do appreciate the criticism since it is my first fanfic. I agree that more description is needed and I intend to fix that in updates. There will be about a one day delay on the newest chapter being posted because I'm starting a new job and have to fill out loads of paper work. Ugh.
I'm going to be technical here:
AREA 51 DOESN'T EXIST.
I love how you're going for correct terminology (niner as opposed to nine, vectors instead of clearances), but the area is not called that and the Federal Government still denies its existence. Air Traffic Controllers in the area usually refer to the area as "Groom Lake," as that's the dry salt lakebed the facility is located on, or as part of the Nevada National Security Site (owned by the Department of Energy) or the Nevada Test and Training Site (owned by the Air Force).
/rant
Love this start. Continue.
Area 51, isnt that Nelis AFB? Technically if enough people know it as Area 51, it can be called Area 51. Great story, cant wait for the next update.
Well Area 51 is near a town called Shelby. So that's why i used Shelby tower. I'm a pilot in training so I tend to go for the correct terminology when I can. I realize it's referred to as groom lake and that it's not technically real, but I didn't want to get too technical about everything in the intro. Lol thanks for your input however
2342461 The reply button is just to the upper right, you should use it amigo.
Oh and ill have the next chapter posted tomorrow evening after I get off work. Thanks again for reading!
Well, I am a fan of HiE stories that introduces human technology to Equestria. So I'll keep an eye on this
2342199 Actuly it does you can search it on google images and google maps or google earth and its there they have a bunch of planes that you can see FYI
So I see this in the feature box.
"Ferrari 458"
BOOM, read later'd.
Captain Jake?
Yeah, it's Captain Jack.
Still waiting for my C-130 back.
i can not wait to see rainbow face wean he tell time that they have jet pleans that can go mack 1 aka the sonic boom.
Bring it on Jet Set Radio
Haha you had me at Ferrari my good sir!
Poor guy can't catch a break.
2342767
Did I say it didn't exist? No, I said that the government denies its existence, and as such the air traffic controller wouldn't call it that.
2342461
Shelby? I thought it was Rachel.
Anyways, I guess I understand your point about not getting too technical, but sometimes I like burying people in terminology to make myself feel better about my intelligence--er, make things more realistic. ^^
MOAR
If you had said "a cargo plane loaded with luxury cars", I might have read it.
As it is, your use of exact makes and models in the summary lets me know that this fic almost certainly won't be any good, so I won't.
Okay, let's list everything the comments say: cookie-cutter HiE, Gary Stu, info dumps, ponification...
Just how in the world did this get featured?
Seriously, lay off on the cliches. And the way you glorify your protagonist is just so cringeworthy.
Lifted Dodge 4x4? I'll give it a read.
2344529 ive been seing a lot of you. how about you shut it, k?
To everyone who said the story was lame due to info dumps and the protagonist being too glorified: I understand and intend to fix that with updates. And if you read on, you might see that jake Weston isn't as "glorified" as u might think. Anyways thanks for checking the story out.
Ps:my c-130 knowledge is up to par I assure you.
2344529 Listen, kid. This is HIS story. You cannot force him to write something. You can leave a suggestion and hope he likes it. So quit being a whining little kid an man up.
Dudes, i concur. It's his story. He is the one who makes it unique.
Awesome so far, by the way.
You know, I think I might be giving the wrong impression. I'm enjoying this story, it's just the aviation quirks that are annoying me. If you ever want me to help out with that, I'd be happy to.
On that note..... not sure why the pilot decided to evac down the ramp. There's always a chance of fire, so he would probably just get out through the cockpit window.
2341942>>2344960
No you don't. I have been checking the comments after each chapter, you have not updated and fixed any of the specific things that were pointed out.