Chain Reaction
The sun blazed over Sweet Apple Acres, causing the buzzards to sound. There was no wind, and every tree stood still like a soldier at attention.
Applejack had never been so scared in her life. She watched hopelessly as Baron and his two accomplices raised their weapons and took aim. All she could think of was her family coming to an abrupt end right then and there. She was certain she wasn't going to live to see another day.
Her heart stopped, and all other sounds were drowned out as the three rifles began open firing at the barn. Gun smoke went everywhere, and the front wall of the building immediately began getting riddled with bullet holes.
Inside, the Ferrari was getting trashed. The windshield was blown out along with all four tires, and the body panels looked like Swiss cheese. Both headlights shattered along with the mirrors and rest of the windows. Then, it happened. One stray bullet hit the fuel tank, creating a spark. In a spilt second, the luxury supercar exploded, taking a portion the barn with it. Debris went flying everywhere.
Applejack, with tears streaming down her face, tried to pry free from their grasp as she watched the barn settle and begin to burn. Baron chuckled as he looked at the column of rising smoke.
"It looks like mah work here is done."
He slowly turned to Applejack and donned a wicked grin.
"Well...almost done."
Baron's partners laughed as he raised the rifle to her face and slowly pressed the barrel onto her forehead.
"It's a shame ah have ta do this. But ah can't risk y'all runnin' yer mouth to anypony."
He cocked the gun and pressed it against her harder.
"Adios, Applejack."
People have said that before you die, your life flashes before your eyes. In Applejack's case, it wasn't all the things she's done, but all the things she's wanted to do.
"Ahm sorry ah wasn't there Applebloom."
She closed her eyes and waited for the inevitable.
A loud roar sounded behind the smoke, and all five stallions turned to look just as the massive Dodge driven by Mac, with Jade in the passenger seat, darted out of the smoke in reverse and barreled straight at them. Baron jumped out of the way just in time, but for the two other stallions holding the rifles, they weren't so lucky as they were mowed down by the truck and killed instantly.
Mac slammed on the brakes and cranked the wheel, sending the vehicle into a 180 degree spin. The truck swung around so the back end was facing Baron, and the tailgate dropped revealing Jake with a loaded automatic 22 rifle.
"Surprise!"
He began firing at the two stallions holding Applejack. The one closest to the truck got shot multiple times and dropped dead, giving Applejack a chance to turn and buck the other one in the face. Once she ran free, the exposed captor got shot by Jake as well.
Mac jumped out of the cab and hugged his sister as she ran to him.
"Ahm sorry Applejack! Ah never wanted this ta happen!"
"Don't worry Mac, it's all over now. We're safe."
"Not jes yet."
The two siblings both turned around to see Baron, who had tried to run, standing in front of the burning barn with a raised rifle pointed at Jake, who had his gun pointed back at him. They were in a standoff.
They turned back to the house at the sound of multiple hoofsteps. All five of Applejack's friends were there accompanied by the local police force which consisted of the sheriff and his four deputies. Twilight ran forward to Applejack.
"We saw the smoke from the barn! Is everypony ok?"
"No. Look at Jake."
The lavender unicorn put a hoof over her mouth in shock at the sight of the standoff between the two stallions. The sheriff, who was also a unicorn, charged his horn with a defense spell and gave out a warning.
"Ok Baron, drop the weapon! I've been looking for you and your gang for a long time!"
Baron didn't take his eye off Jake as he spoke.
"Is that so? Well congratulations sheriff! Y'all found me! Haha, ya expectin' a prize now er somethin'?"
"Very funny Baron. Drop the weapon and this can all be over. You don't have to hurt him! He's innocent."
"Innocent!? He killed all four o' mah gang members! Ah should kill him right now!"
He addressed his speaking towards the pilot.
"Ain't that right?!"
Jake calmly responded.
"Nothing you've done here is right Baron. Drop the weapon, or my face is the last thing you'll ever see."
The fire blazed in the background, illuminating Baron's devious eyes with flames.
"This ain't over till yer six feet under!"
"What do you plan to do once I'm dead? You're caught either way."
"Listen here, ah don't care 'bout this land anymore. Ah know I'm done for, but if ahm gonna do one last thing b'fore ah get caught, it's gonna be puttin a bullet in yer head."
The sheriff had had enough of this, and he aimed his horn at Baron. He fired off a single blast, and it hit the criminal on his right side, making him stumble over. Jake took the opportunity and shot his leg, crippling him and sending him down screaming in pain.
"You bastard! Ahm gonna kill you! Ah swear ahm gonna kill you!"
The pilot walked over to him and pressed the gun to his head. The sheriff and his deputies ran over to them, stopping behind Jake.
"Don't kill him! I want that bastard alive."
The captain glared down to Baron, and pulled the trigger. No blast was heard, only a click signifying that the gun was unloaded. He chuckled and shook his head.
"You're one lucky son of a bitch, you know that?"
He raised his head to look at the authorities.
"Get him out of here."
Two of the deputies cuffed him and dragged him away. The sheriff stayed back to speak with Jake, Jade, Mac, and his sister, who had walked over once it was clear.
"Are you four ok?"
Applejack nodded her head.
"Yeah, ah think we're ok. But our barn aint."
She looked up to the five pegasi led by Rainbow Dash finishing off dousing the blaze with rainwater. All that was left was a smoldering heap of wood, and the charred frame of the Ferrari. Jake noticed this, and almost fainted.
"NO! Why that?! Why did it have to be that?!"
He ran into the wreckage and collapsed on the frame with outstretched hooves, completely ignoring the heat still lingering.
"Of all the things that could get destroyed, it had to be this!"
Mac was deciding wether or not laugh or sympathize. To him, it wasn't a big deal, but he figured that to the pilot, it meant a lot more. He decided to go half and half. He put a hoof on his shoulder as he slumped back from the supercars grave.
"Ahm terribly sorry about yer car. Ah was beginnin' ta like that thing."
He slowly craned his neck back to the Dodge, still sitting there unscathed, and sighed in relief.
"At least we still got the truck."
The sheriff looked confused.
"Yeah, how did you guys get out of that blast in that thing."
Jade spoke up.
"Well, we got in, and the minute they began shooting, Mac reversed and drove through the back wall and waited outside. Once we knew it was over, we floored it and drove through the smoke and ran two of those bastards over. Then Jake shot the other two, and that's when you came along."
The sheriff slowly nodded his head.
"I see. Well you guys are lucky. You managed to take down the Westra gang. They go around and pillage farms. Once they've 'eliminated' the owners, they take all the assets like leeches and sell them on the black market. If you wouldn't have done what you did, you all would have been dead by now."
Applejack shuddered at the thought of her family and friends perishing like that. The sheriff continued.
"As for the barn, your insurance will cover all the damages. I can even get a crew together to help with the repairs."
Mac looked back to all his friends standing around waiting for any news. Then he looked next to him at the pilot, the drummer, and his sister.
"No. Ah think we all can handle it. Thank ya kindly fer all yer help."
"No problem at all. I'm sorry for all this, but one of the worst gangs in the region has been put down as an outcome. You gotta look on the bright side of things, you know?"
Jake nodded, and pointed to the Ferrari.
"Yeah, I don't see a bright side to that, but if you say so."
The sheriff chuckled.
"I saw that thing in action a week ago, I have to say, it's a shame that had to happen. But at least you all were ok. That's what matters."
"I know. I'll get over it."
They shook hooves, and the sheriff tipped his hat.
"I'll see you guys around. If you have any questions, just come by the station, I'm always there if I'm not on call."
Applejack nodded.
"Will do, partner."
With that, he and his deputies walked away off Sweet Apple Acres, dragging a hogtied Baron who was squirming and screaming under the cloth they had put over his mouth. Jake chuckled at the sight and looked over to Applejack's friends.
"Well, we better go and group up with the others. I'm sure they'll want to know what happened."
"Good idea."
For the rest of the day, they explained what happened, and began cleaning up the debris from the fire. Rarity walked over to the charred remains of the Ferrari, and sighed.
"It's just a shame such beauty had to be destroyed by those ruffians! I never even got to ride in it."
She kicked the front right tire a little, causing it to flop over on it's side. It caused a chain reaction, and both doors fell off as well. The fashionista sat down and pouted.
"Humph!"
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Well fuck.
Oh my god! You killed the Ferrari!
You Bastard!
Can you please bring it back?
Not the Ferrari......
YOU MONSTER!!!
why the Ferrari?
Well I was going to say something along the lines of you killed the Ferrari, you monster! But it seems other people have beaten me to the point.
Still...
YOU MONSTER!!
Lol The Ferrari is dead and gone unfortunately.
NNNOOOOOOOOO
...
Wait...it's a Ferrari...that's okay then. As long as it's not a Lamborghini.
the ferrari was my favorite character, why would you do this to me
. please bring him back
Ah, the exploding gas tank, the tired, overused, and old hollywood myth that any flammable liquid will explode if you put a bullet through it.
Sadly, it seems that the quality of this story isn't as good as when it started.
The chapter plots seem to become simpler and more contrived each chapter, the villains are more and more two dimensional cardboard cutouts (I mean really, a farm based black market? I was raised on a farm. Do you know how much work it takes to load up enough farm product to be worth the trouble? A lot more than a couple of ponies, or even a couple of dozen ponies can cart off in a few days.)
Not to mention that Jake seems to become more and more able to do anything as time goes on. From winning race car driver to featured stunt pilot to sharp shooter, he seems to be able to succeed no matter what he does, or how little time he takes to prepare.
Take when he introduced everyone to his favorite rock bands. Because Jake loves it, everyone else loved it, and commented on why they bothered listening to the music, which now that Jake didn't like, none of them really liked it anymore, that was being played in the barn.
The music that Pinkie Pie, MISTRESS OF PARTIES, who personally knows everyone in town, what they like, and what they don't like, picked out for the party.
This story has basically turned into the Jake is Awesome show, with everyone else relegated to supporting characters who exist to be in awe Jake's amazing abilities.
I had hoped that you would manage to pull the story back up as it went on, which is why I haven't said anything, but it just keeps getting more and more focused on Jake, and what an amazing person he is, to the point that you seem to forget that other ponies have personality and character too.
I know you can do better than this, and I hope that you can give a little more consideration to the other characters, letting them be their own ponies, with their own lives and challenges that they overcome.
Jake can't do everything. I think it's time to let the Ponies of Ponyville shine in the way they were meant too.
Huzah! In like the 3rd or 4th chapter i said the car should be totaled, blown up os totaled....
2645601really buddy you spend all this time on writing this review its people like you that ruin the fun of writing swallow it and enjoy the story for what it is this is FimFICTION name says it all if you want an accurate story then go live your life and don't ruin it for the rest of us.
As for this chapter good work keep it up nevermind Mr numbnuts
I dont give two shits about the italian sports car, Im just glad the trucks okay haha
No offence, but you're an idiot for killing the Ferrari! As said, Rarity (who is my favorite) didn't even get a chance to ride in it!
pinkie.mylittlefacewhen.com/media/f/img/mlfw8817-131043454880.gif
2645601 If you don't like it, don't read it retard.
2645649 I didn't even realize I put one in there. Lol What was it?
I notice you don't seem to know that Gas is not explosive? Only the fumes are.
I'm going to fly in a MASSIVE cargo jet, with 1000+ F22 escort, and drop off ONE MILLION FERRARIES! And 10 million lamborghinies. Then I'm going to crash a battlecruiser and a Carrier into the baron, and Finish it off by shooting the The baron and his gang's dead bodies with a Pheonix 1000 Times.
You might want to look out, I'm Flying the Whole Golden armada To Earth JUST to kill you for killing off the ferrari.
I don't forget, I'm sending Extra void rays.
2645601
Agreed. I think I'm done with this story. The exploding gas tank thing sealed the deal. Have a good one everypony.
My reaction to the supercar being deystroyed...
2645474 I just glad it wasn't the plane if that got hit there would be no farm except a couple of trees and there would be no ponyville if the plane got hit and the plane was a B-52 stratofortess.
fc07.deviantart.net/fs70/i/2013/060/0/3/ferrari_458_italia___gt5_by_esszx-d5urusy.jpg
R.I.P
I would like to point out that a gas tank CAN explode if it's hit in the right spots. Myth busters proved that. And I encourage everyone to continue reading despite the Ferrari's death. Who knows what'll happen?
2648202 What? No they didn't, they proved the opposite!
Bullets just put holes in the gas tank.
Now, if you're using tracer rounds, and stand far enough back that atmospheric friction can ignite the round before it enters the gas tank, it may set the gas on fire, though you have to have a few holes in the tank to get enough oxygen moving inside for that to happen.
And since it took something like 75 tracers to achieve a little fire, I hope you're willing to wait a while to get it
At no point did they ever make a gas tank explode.
Sources
Mythbuster results
KWC.org
Falfiles.com
.2645805 No, it's people like you that ruin fancition. You know whay 99% of fanfiction is crap? It's because people like you feel that any criticism is bad, so all you do is shower praise on authors, no matter how bad it is.
This causes the authors to live in an echo box, believing that they're the next Shakespeare, and never improve their writing, in fact, they often get worse as time goes on if nobody is willing to point out mistakes and bad storytelling.
JetSet isn't that bad a writer, I've certainly seen worse.
But he can be better. If he's willing to listen to some criticism.
2648444 HA i do not i get plenty of critisism every day of my life i swim in the shit this guy has dedicated his time to his stories and his enjoyment is just shattered by you ill tell you one thing is to go fuck off and go give your critisism somewhere else anyone with half a brain knows that and FYI i know authors who have 70k veiwers and im good friends theres a limit to how much critisism one person can handle and i cant stand a good story that is demolized by self absorbed assholes like you GET A LIFE DICK.
2648510 Oh my god, one post of criticism in 38 chapters and all of a sudden I'm ruining the author's enjoyment?
I certainly don't see any indication of that in Jetset's posts.
But then, your opinion seems to be that any criticism is wrong, and for some reason you use the claim that you know other authors to try to support this opinion.
Oh, and thanks for the cursing and personal attacks against me, classy.
2648566 Did i ever say it was wrong some constructive critisism is one thing where you lightly put out there but you went into it and started saying shit no one cares the only thing these readers are upset about is the car being burned to a crism and then theres you mr critical who has something to say about how its not scientifically correct look this is fiction its not going to be logic and you are a dick you are just a plain common slop dick out there that thinks everything has to have some logic in it THEY ARE MAGIC PONIES FOR GODS SAKE what does it matter that this happends no you couldnt keep your trap shut as for you insulting me for cursing at what a dumbass you are it doesnt work on me ive been through alot worse then that and as another reader said if you dont like it dont read it. my advise to you is to find another story and no wait hold on lets stop here better yet get off this site since it isnt logical for you. Good day.
Ok this has to stop. I agree with Gear on some issues. Yes, I can see where he's coming from saying that Jake is glorified in some aspects. But I also agree with Fusion in a way because it is fiction. This is my first story, so it's not going to be the best ever. I will improve, that's how it works. You have to practice to get better. So lets all just try to get along and enjoy the ride. Thank you all for reading.
MAN REALLY THE FERRARI (no clue how I spell Ferrari) but really can he fix it? Or get a Lamborghini that would be cool or a mustang
Okay, everybody seems to be up and in arms about the gas explosion. It's actually quite possible, and technically only requires two shots. It just needs time for the gasoline fumes, (which is what is what's actually flammable,) to spread and expand. The first shot opens the tank an leaks the fuel, allowing the fumes to spread. After waiting a few moments, then fire a tracer round somewhere nearby, and the burning phosphorus should ignite the fumes. So in the time it takes to fire about 20 rounds of automatic fire after the tank has been punctured, then a random tracer round would cause the explosion.
This isn't far from plausible, as the military often mixes tracer rounds with standard ammunition.
I didn't actually find it to be that big of a problem, my problem with this chapter is, (Granted, very, very, very, much a complete nitpick about minor details,) the ammunition type specified, and the weapons seemingly referenced in this and previous chapters.
The following is a near pointless rant. Please feel free to ignore from here on out.
Although I ask that you do read it.
Before I go on this (Completely unimportant, yet very long winded) rant, I would like to start by saying that this is just a personal problem for me because I love Guns with a passion usually matched only by religious fanatics. That said, when I see an small fact that could be wrong, I Have to point it out just for the sake of my sanity. This is not a gripe about the story in and of itself. Feel free to totally ignore it.
In this chapter, as well as previous chapters, you mention that the ammunition inside these crates is .22 type ammunition. You also in this chapter state that the weapons inside the crates are automatic, and in some cases, belt fed machine guns.
This should not be so. For several reasons.
1: The .22 round is a varmint round. Used for shooting small game, such as rabbits, squirrels. and other such small animals. It lacks the firepower to shoot through the barn and cause damage to anything inside. In fact, (depending on the wood and proximity to shooter,) it would not be able to penetrate it.
2: (This gripe is in assumption that the weapons were actually ordered by the military. While you can buy military grade supply crates, It's uncommon for the words "US ARMY" [reference to chapter one] to still be printed on them afterwards. Also, it's hard for civilians to acquire automatic weapons, and illogical to send them as well as ammo en-masse in such a manner.) The military has never used the .22 round in the history of ever as a standard issue round. It has next to no stopping power. They have, however, used the 5x56 round, also known as the .223 There is a major difference between a .22 and a .223
Here is a basic example of the difference between the two of them....
[img] http://www.thefirearmblog.com/blog/wp-content/uploads/2011/04/22_penny_223-tfb.jpg [/img]
The one on the left is the .22 Long rife rimfire round. That is what everybody thinks of when you say .22.
The one on the right, is the .223 round. It is a much larger round, and is the standard, almost universal round for the United States Military. If you will notice, the slug for this round alone is almost the size of the entire .22 round, casing, powder and all. Seen here.
[img] http://img253.imageshack.us/img253/773/22lrvrs223xn6.jpg [/img]
3: In the previous chapter, you describe some of the weapons as
In other words, a belt fed machine gun.
There has never (in my experience) been a .22 automatic belt fed weapon. Perhaps one or two have been built by various enthusiasts, but it has never been mass produced, simply because there is no target audience for it. However, the military does use the M249 Squad Automatic Weapon (SAW) as a standard support light machine gun. It is belt fed, and shoots the 5x56 .223 round. While you can buy wooden stocks and furniture for it, the military doesn't issue it.
My assumption is that you meant to reference the .223 round instead of the .22 round through the entire story.
Like I said, this is a minor complaint, just a very loud one for me.
Please don't take it personally.
Welp.
Ferrari is exploded.
FUCK.
I dunno if I wanna read anymore. :(
The Ferarri?!
farm4.staticflickr.com/3235/5848656813_28b869ef1f_z.jpg
That said, IMR1fly does have a point, the average 'Joe Brony' knows Buck-all about how a C-130 works, what little I do know is because dad was a mechanic crew chief in 'Nam.
But, there are a heck of a lot more who know gun gear and what can and cannot be done with them even in places where laws of physics are a lot more uncertain.
People are a lot more willing to suspend disbelief about someone turning into a pony if everything else works as normal.
(edited to remove part answered by next chapter)
Have fun with the story.
2950341 very true. AUSTRALIA COMES FIRST MUFUKKAS!!
2656211 WOO! I found another person who knows stuff about guns!
*cough cough* erm. Anyways....
Have you read 'Twilight's unfaithful student'? In that story, the main character "blows away" stallions with a Colt 1911. I only realised that the author loved 1911s after I'd said that the character was using a Desert Eagle. That being said, you couldn't "blow away" a pony stallion with a .45 round. .50 BMG? Yeah. .50 AE (Desert Eagle rounds)? Quite possibly. .45? Probably not. You could do some serious damage, yeah, but the round doesn't have enough power to "blow away" something like a pony stallion.
I would say more, but then I'd be complaining about a different story for three hours. No point.
well shit
Mac ain’t much to smart the man said hey careful these are dangerous, then numb nuts on his own accord sells something that doesn’t belong to him knowing full well it’s dangerous with, or without the guns, didn’t bother to ask hey is it cool if I sell this, then doesn’t apologize for selling the dangerous equipment without permission, and causing the destruction of the Ferrari.