Tailgating
"Ok, we're open."
Jake hung the sign up on the lowered tailgate and sat down. They had the truck parked so the bed was facing the town square, letting the passerby see all of their produce.
After an hour and a half, they managed to sell a quarter of the stock, and still had a small line waiting to buy the fruit. Jake handed the last one in line their change, and turned to Mac, who was sitting on the tailgate.
"How are we looking so far?"
The farmer pulled out the small bit box and studied it for a minute.
"Pretty good so far. We could be doin' better though."
Jake looked up to the sun's position in the sky to tell the time.
"It looks to be around five or so."
"It's five eighteen."
The pilot looked at him confused.
"How do you know?"
Mac pointed up to a clock tower about a quarter of a mile away.
"Oh. I see."
"Eeyup."
Mac chuckled.
"Fer bein' a pilot who has ta pay attention all the time, y'all don't do a good of job of it."
"Yeeeeeah, I need to work on that."
Business was slow for the next fifteen minutes or so, causing Mac to get tired. He yawned and shook his head.
"Ah think that's a wrap for today, Jake."
"Don't give up so easy. I have an idea to attract customers."
He walked back to the cab of the Dodge and got in. He opened the center console to find his iPhone still sitting there. After powering it up, he plugged it in to the auxiliary port on the dash and turned on the stereo system. He selected a song and got out of the cab as it started, leaving the door open so it could be heard.
-------------------------------------
http://m.youtube.com/watch?v=cA46ZNjrzeY
-------------------------------------
The pilot sat back down next to Mac, and waited.
"Music always livens the mood. Now we sit here and watch the customers pour in. We'll sell all these apples by tonight. I guarantee it."
"If ya say so."
An opening harmonica solo ended, giving way to the vocals.
How many of you people out there
Have been hurt in some kind of love affair?
And how many times do you swear that you'll never love again?
Mac nodded with the beat, and looked over to the captain.
"What is this, Jake?"
"It's called Brand New Day by Sting and the Police. A very popular song where I come from."
"Huh. There's a lot of things that we don't know about yer old culture. Maybe we should blast ourselves over there and take a look. Maybe turn into a human to see what all the fuss is about."
"Ha! Good luck with that. Could you imagine? All of you guys turning into humans. I'd love to see the looks on your faces. I know I was scared shitless when I first saw myself as one of you."
The music went into the chorus, attracting attention from nearby ponies.
Turn the clock to zero honey
We'll sell all the stock, we'll spend all the money I'm starting on a brand new day!
Turn the clock all the way back!
I wonder if she'll take me back!
Thinkin' in a brand new way.
Jake nudged the farmers shoulder and pointed to the drawing crowd.
"See! I told you that music livens things up."
Mac laughed.
"Whatever, Jake."
Despite the farmers denial, Jake was right. The line grew again, and they were out of stock in thirty minutes. After the last customer left, Mac shut the tailgate. Jake turned the music off and walked back
around to help clean up the area.
The town square died down as the sun started to set, leaving an orange glow in the fountain water in the center. Across the way, three stallions could be seen walking towards them. Mac looked over and sighed.
"Oh no. Not these idiots again. We should leave right now Jake."
He looked up from wiping down the truck bed to get all the apple residue off.
"What? Why? Who are those guys?"
A second later, they approached Mac. The middle one stepped forward. He was a large orange stallion with a grey mane and tail. He stood maybe an inch shorter than the farmer, and glared at him with mischievous eyes.
"Sup, Big Macintosh."
He replied with a sarcastic tone.
"Hello, Sledge."
The one on the right looked up at Jake, who was still in the bed.
"Who's this shithead?"
The pilot was at first taken aback. But then he got angry.
"Whoa! Who the hell are you to come trotting over here and call me that?"
Sledge looked over to him.
"We're the stallions that want your apples."
He directed his attention back at Mac.
"Now, where are they?"
The farmer rolled his eyes.
"We're all out, Sledge. Go home."
He snorted and stomped the ground.
"I don't believe you."
Mac gestured towards the tailgate with his head.
"Check fer yerself."
The one on the left went over and looked in. Sure enough, the bed was empty except for Jake and a cleaning rag.
"Damnit Sledge, he's telling the truth."
"Well, we want some. I know you have more back on the farm."
"Now look here. Why y'all wanna come up in here and start trouble?They're jes apples. Its not an expensive item, so why do ya want ta steal them so badly?"
Sledge chuckled and jabbed a hoof into Mac's chest.
"Because we can. We know your sister made you promise to behave and not start trouble. So we can do whatever we want. Now, show us where there's some good eats for free."
There was silence before the farmer responded.
"Yer right. Applejack told me not to start trouble. However, YOU started it."
With that, he punched Sledge in the face, sending him stumbling back. He walked over and grabbed the thief by the neck, looking him right in the eyes.
"So ahm gonna finish it."
Mac slammed him down and turned to defend himself as another one attacked. He quickly sent him down as well with one uppercut to the jaw. Meanwhile, Jake was looking on in confusion and hesitation on what to do. He had never been one for fighting, and wasn't sure how to go about this situation.
The third one got Mac on the side of the head and sent him down on his side, prompting the pilot to jump off the tailgate in a split decision and land between the two. He stomped his hoof down and glared at the thug.
"Ok stop! This has gone wayyy over the top! They're just freaking apples, so get over it! Go away, or else."
The assailant smirked and cracked his neck with a hoof.
"Or else what?"
Jake gulped, immediately regretting his choice of words towards the stallion who was notably larger than he was.
"Uh. Or else...I'll...uh...make you go away."
He shook his head and walked towards the captain. Jake swung once, but missed as the stallion ducked. Upon righting himself again, he punched Jake in the face, sending him back and falling over Mac who was just now recovering from his previous blow.
The rest of the fight was a blur to Jake as he watched from the ground. After it was over, he and Mac staggered back to the truck and got in. The farmer had managed to scare off the thieves long enough to make an escape.
The ride home was quiet. Jake drove with one hoof on the wheel, and the other clutching his black eye.
"Well...that sucked."
"Eeyup."
"What should we tell Applejack?"
"Ah don't know. I suggest we jes tell the truth."
"She won't be mad?"
"Nnope. We defended ourselves. They started it, so we'll be fine."
They pulled into the farm and parked in front of the house. Upon entering the kitchen, Applejack was waiting there. When she saw Jake's black eye, and a cut by Mac's left ear, she didn't look too happy.
"What. Happened."
Jake sat down at the table and chuckled.
"Well, it's a funny story actually."
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Ah really! They should just shoot them!
really big mac....
aj is not happy at all
Nun, das eskalierte schnell!
2754500
Kein lassen, im Gefängnis verrotten!
2755962
nicht sie alle töten!
2755983 Ja sie alle töten! Genau wie wir haben die Amerikaner im Zweiten Weltkrieg und französisch jetzt BLITZKRIEG!!
Jake should have gone in reverse.
I would be scared out of my mind if a truck reversed in my general direction from a short distance
2756009
Deutschland Deutschland über alles!!!
What's with all the German comments lol
2756701 sie gerne in Deutsch sprechen,erraten was ich sagte
German Translations:
Corporal Adrian Shephard:
Well, that escalated quickly!
>>Dr Daring Doo
No let rot in jail!
Dr Daring Doo:
>>Corporal Adrian Shephard
not kill them all!
Corporal Adrian Shephard:
>>Dr Daring Doo Yes kill them all! Just as we Americans during World War II and French have now LIGHTNING WAR!
Dr Daring Doo:
>>Corporal Adrian Shephard
Germany Germany above all!
TangoForce141:
>>Jetset0099 they like to talk in German, guess what I said
2757138 Über den Einsatz von Google Translator Eh?
2761156 Ja!
2761156 Google Übersetzen löst ALLE meine probleme!
2761278 Lügen! Nicht der, über Ihren Hund ist kastriert!
2761597 wat
2762237 The best weapon you can use is randomness >:3
2762311 vielliecht vielliecht auch nicht
I'm starting a cool side story to Detour just for fun. It has no real connection to the plot, you just need to know who Jake is! Like I said, this will be completely random. Treat it as sort of a side bonus story just for kicks.
God I look through the comments and I feel like I should be back in Dusseldorf with my great-uncle Hans.
2764833 lol
Damn how many Germans are hiding and waiting to comment just for these moments? Nicht das es mich stört, es wundert mich halt ein bisschen.
2766973 This is getting out of Hanz
I am a jelly donut.
Is Big Mac an A-hole magnet? Bandits and street gangs in just a short span of chapters, is this why he dont get out much?