Nuances
Kuno and Threadbare looked up as Warden entered the room, both of them leaning over the sewing machine. Swarm was sleeping in the corner, curled up on a pile of Wonderbolt uniforms.
“Oh hey, how did the whole talking thing go?” Kuno asked, surreptitiously sliding a frilly pink lace underneath a square of fabric.
“He’s trying to drink himself into a coma at the bar and we made absolutely no progress at all,” Warden said with a slight shrug. “Not that I expected anything to come of it, honestly.
Kuno frowned slightly at that, her ears splaying back. “Well that’s… not a good outcome.”
Threadbare gave a slight shrug. “Well, your father is rather stubborn.”
“I see you two haven’t murdered each other yet,” Warden observed, sitting down at one of the counters and idly tugging a torn Wonderbolt flight suit towards him, inspecting the tear.
“I resisted the urge,” Threadbare said, deadpan.
Warden gave a snort of suppressed laughter.
“What?” Threadbare asked, brow furrowing.
Warden perked an ear upwards, motioning with his nose towards Kuno. “She says the exact same thing.”
Kuno frowned at that, lips pursing. “I do it more adorably!”
Warden gave a reasonable nod. “I’ll concede that point. So… when are we leaving?”
“Tomorrow!” Threadbare and Kuno said together.
Warden gave a slightly strained smile. “But there’s nowhere for us to sleep…”
“We’ve already worked it all out so don’t even bother trying to weasel out of it,” Kuno said flatly, eyes narrowing at him.
Warden gave a faint whine. “But I wanted to go home and make dinner and sleep and stuff.”
“Do I need to put the collar on you?” Kuno asked threateningly.
Warden sighed heavily. “Usually it takes hours of begging for that to happen.”
Threadbare paled, clearing her throat loudly and flicking the sewing machine back on. “Not listening!”
A faint laugh left Warden, and he shook his head, sliding over to his wife and peering over her shoulder. “Whatcha doing?”
“Making a pretty little dress for Swarm. I was a seamstress for a while,” Kuno said with a nod.
Warden pondered on that for a long moment. “How many ponies haven’t you been?”
“Never been the princess before,” Kuno said thoughtfully, rubbing a hoof against her chin. “Well, except for that one night, when we…” Kuno trailed off, stealing a glance at Threadbare. The unicorn’s ears had pinkened, and she was focusing on the dress intensely.
Warden leaned past the changeling, “We didn’t, mom. She’s just joking. She did become Princess Luna to scare off some thugs one time though. That was pretty awesome.”
“So you can really just… be any pony you want?” Threadbare asked, looking up from the suit.
Kuno nodded slowly. “Even turned into a dragon once. But that almost killed me.”
“Will Swarm…?” Threadbare asked cautiously, peering at the sleeping filly.
Kuno and Warden both shrugged helplessly. “Nobody knows,” Kuno admitted, her wings giving an anxious buzz. “She can’t even use magic yet… and there’s never been a changeling and pony hybrid, so it’s anyone’s guess!”
Threadbare frowned at that, giving a slow nod. “Well… you’ll both be ready for it, no matter what happens, right?”
“Sure!” Warden said with a slightly strained smile. “I hope. I can’t use magic so it’ll fall squarely to Kuno to teach her all that stuff.”
“And speaking of teaching things, I might go have a talk to your father,” Kuno said brightly, standing up.
Warden stopped her with an outstretched hoof, shaking his head slowly. “I know what your talks are like, and I don’t think he’ll survive.”
“But I just want you two to love each other!” Kuno said with a faint whine.
“I’m afraid it’s going to take a lot more work than a day can contain,” Warden said with a slow shake of his head.
Kuno gave a long sigh. “Fine. Fine. I won’t interfere.”
“Do you promise?” Warden asked pointedly.
Kuno slowly raised an eyebrow.
Warden gave a long-suffering sigh, dropping his hoof. “Of course you don’t.”
Threadbare perked her ears upwards. “You two are… cute together.”
Kuno grinned at that, her expression turned evil. “Did you hear that, Warden? The magic is working!”
Threadbare paled, her eyes widening.
Kuno peered back at her, expression blank, before she dissolved into laughter.
Warden just slowly shook his head.
Warden stretched lazily and harrumphed as he threw himself across his old bed. It was off-season for the Wonderbolts, and with no new recruits coming through and half of the old recruits being axed through a process of natural selection, the headquarters were relatively empty.
It felt decidedly odd to be in his old quarters. He had never been a strong enough flyer to get anywhere near the Wonderbolts themselves, so he always felt completely out of place. Especially since he was more interested in the plants growing in the lobby than any of the complex flying tricks the ‘bolts could do.
There was a knock at the door, and Warden looked up, giving a single blink.
Spitfire was in his doorway, head canted to the left, watching him. “Hi Warden, I heard you were back in here. I have a present for you!”
Warden shook his head slowly, slipping to his hooves and then slipping over to the door, leaning in to kiss her nose gently. “Silly. Right here, in the headquarters? Such a naughty pegasus.” He slipped a hoof around her neck, pulling her into the room and closing the door after them. “You know you don’t have to do this for me, right?’
The pegasus gave a slightly awkward smile at that, seemingly off-balance. “Well... you know… I just thought it would be nice... and all.”
“Look at you, acting all shy. You can drop the act,” Warden said with a gentle shake of his head, nudging his nose against her own and then kissing her again. “We’re alone, Swarm is with my mother…”
The pegasus gave a strained smile at that. “Uh… yeah, I suppose that she is.”
“Well… this is interesting,” Kuno said, peeking around the edge of the doorway.
Warden looked up slowly, and then blinked even more slowly. “I… what?” He looked back at Spitfire, and then at Kuno, and then back again, his eyes slowly widening. He flailed his forehooves, bouncing back off the bed. “Oh wow this is totally not what it looks like and oh my sweet Celestia did I… I just... no!” he shook his head vigorously, burying his face in his hooves.
Kuno slipped in the door, closing it neatly behind her, sitting down and peering back and forth between the two pegasi. “Please, continue.”
Spitfire blinked, even more confused now, looking from Warden, to the changeling, nonplussed at the appearance of the non-pony. “So… I uh… I found those old goggles you lost, signed by Velocity,” she said awkwardly, holding out the goggles.
Warden didn’t even look up, his face burning with intense warmth, voice muffled as he responded, “Y-yeah… t-thanks Spitfire. P-please just forget about anything I did or said or anything of the sort and it was totally an accident.”
Spitfire looked from Warden, and then to Kuno again, her brow furrowing. “So… you… you have her pretend to be me?” she asked suddenly, putting two and two together.
Warden squeezed his muzzle with his hooves, shaking his head intently. “No, no, no, no! Never! I wouldn’t dream of doing that!”
“We totally have,” Kuno said simple, a mischievous smile on her muzzle.
Warden flailed a hoof towards his wife. “No, we haven’t!”
Spitfire looked back and forth between them, biting her bottom lip. “That’s… that’s… actually kinda hot.”
Warden stopped mid hoof-flail, his eyes widening, blinking once, and then slowly turning to stare at the Wonderbolt Captain. “Ahwhat?”
Kuno gave a soft giggle, pressing a hoof against her mouth to stifle the sound.
“So you can totally be me?” Spitfire asked, stepping down off the bed, her eyes narrowing intently.
“No.” Warden shook his head firmly, pursing his lips. “She cannot, has not, and will not.”
“I totally can,” Kuno said with another suppressed giggle, obviously enjoying the scene a little too much.
“And you’ve…?” Spitfire asked.
“We totally have,” Kuno said, nodding slowly and licking her fangs.
Warden flailed a hoof at her. “She’s lying!”
Spitfire looked back and forth between them, “You don’t think that I could-”
“-No.” Warden cut across her, shaking his head firmly and pushing her bodily towards the door with both hooves. “Time to leave!”
“No, please!” Spitfire said, trying to reach past him towards the changeling.
Warden tugged the door open, pushing her out it. “No.”
Spitfire gave a soft whine, reaching out a hoof placatingly. “Well can I watc-”
“-No!” Warden said, slamming the door in her face. His chest heaved as he turned around and sat against the door, burying his face in his hooves, slowly shaking his head.
Kuno stared at him for several long, long moments, biting her bottom lip, tears in her eyes. “I… I honestly just love this place,” she murmured, before dissolving into helpless, wracking laughter.
“That… that just seriously did not happen,” Warden said blankly, staring at the wall and shaking his head. “I’m lucky I’m not being carted off to jail!”
Kuno was still giggling, rolling about on the floor. “That so just happened! And you are never ever going to live it down!”
“She wanted to watch!” Warden said aghast, burying his face in his hooves, and then tugging at his ears with them, and then turning an accusing glare to Kuno. “You planned this. You made this happen, didn’t you?”
“I honestly did not!” Kuno said, jumping up to her hooves and placing a hoof over her heart sincerely. “This was just one of those super-awesome random moments that always happens to you!”
“Well I’m glad you’re so amused at my utter mortification!” Warden said, rubbing his hooves across his cheeks vigorously. “I may never return to my normal shade of white!”
Kuno dissolved into giggling again, flailing her hooves helplessly. “Who knew the captain of the Wonderbolts was such a freak?”
“No one will ever know of this!” Warden hissed, pointing a hoof at her threateningly. “Or I’m tying you back up in the kitchen!”
Kuno gave him a long stare, slowly shaking her head and rolling her eyes. “At some point, you will realise that your punishments are less of a deterrent than you think.”
“That’s just because you’re a freak!” Warden accused, stepping closer to her and drawing her into a firm kiss, and then shuddered faintly. “Oh sweet Celestia I kissed Spitfire and I’m not in jail.”
“Exciting, isn’t it?” Kuno said with a giggle, licking his nose once. “You should have felt it from my end. She went from disgusted to intrigued in a microsecond!”
“How could… why would… just… how could anypony be interested in… themselves?” Warden asked, utterly confused. “If you turned into me, I wouldn’t even be interested. At all. I’d probably be extremely off-put and completely skeeved out.”
Kuno gave a thoughtful hum, looking up at the ceiling. “On a completely unrelated note, I know what I want for my birthday.”
Warden paled.
Kuno gave a suppressed giggle, kissing his nose gently. “To answer your question, it’s called narcissism. Most top athletes and models and whatnot have it. They love their own image.”
Warden frowned at that. “Does that mean you could turn into one of them and love yourself and get infinite energy? Is a narcissistic changeling like a never-ending battery?”
“Doesn’t work like that, silly,” Kuno said, leaning forwards and nudging him affectionately. “So what are these goggles she brought for you?”
Warden reached over, scooping them up and blowing on them, clearing a film of dust. “Goggles that Velocity gave me. She was the old Wonderbolt captain, back in the day, before Spitfire took over.”
“You had a crush on her?” Kuno asked simply.
Warden pondered on that, and then gave a half-nod. “Possibly? I was pretty young. She was a very, very impressive pegasus.”
“And you lost her goggles?” Kuno asked, tugging them out of his grasp and peering at them closely.
Warden gave a faint laugh and shook his head ruefully. “What can I say? I snuck down to the forest to look at some vines and I lost my goggles somewhere between here and there.”
Kuno stared at him for a long moment, pursing her lips. “Did I ever tell you that you have an exceptionally boring childhood?”
Warden shrugged. “Why don’t you ask me again when I actually grow up?”
Kuno glowered at him, biting his nose playfully. “You are never growing up while you’re with me...”
“You were going to say that you only have sex with children but realised how bad that sounds and stopped, didn’t you?” Warden accused.
Kuno blinked rapidly, and then gave a soft giggle. “You know me so well it’s scary.”
“Not enough to know when it’s not you walking into my room spouting off double-entendres!” Warden admitted, shaking his head and nudging her firmly.
Kuno giggled and licked his forehead lovingly. “I am so going to use that against you in future.”
Warden smiled, wrapping his hooves around her. “I figured.”
Gale Force looked up from his drink as he heard a bell jingling, and peered over his shoulder.
Warden pulled up a chair beside him, sitting down at the counter and pursing his lips slightly.
Gale Force squinted slightly, observing the collar around his neck. “Uhhh… Warden… what are you wearing a collar?”
Warden gave an eager smile and a shrug. “I have to wear it until I reconcile with you. Kuno’s orders.”
“Ahhh… that little changeling. That’s kinda weird that you let her walk all over you,” Gale Force said, turning back to the front.
“I love it,” Warden said simply, taking the bottle from Gale Force and pouring some of it into a glass, downing it easily and slamming the glass down on the counter.
“Since when do you drink?” Gale Force asked, brows furrowing.
“Since I’m trying to connect with you,” Warden said bluntly, staring into his father’s eyes.
“Why are you so… so determined that we should be friends?” Gale Force asked bluntly.
“Well dad, it might be because you’re, you know, my father. I wouldn’t be here without you. That’s pretty special, don’t you think?” Warden asked bluntly, staring up at him, lips pursing. “I mean, family is important. More important than just some… silly little arguments we ever had, right?”
Gale Force grunted slightly in response, picking up the bottle and taking a deep swallow from it. “I don’t know what you want from me, Warden.”
“I want to know that you love me, Dad,” Warden said, frowning deeply, leaning against the counter. “That isn’t too much to ask, is it? I mean, you don’t have to come out and say it… but it would be nice if you let me know somehow, every now and again.”
Frowning deeply, Gale Force stared at Warden. “What has gotten into you?”
“Kuno,” Warden admitted with a shrug. “What can I say? I’m whipped. Sooner I reconcile with you, the sooner I can get another piece of that sexy changeling.”
Gale Force stared, slowly shaking his head. “Okay, okay. Fine. I’ll… I’ll make an effort. I make no promises. Not that it’ll matter, considering I’m only doing it because you asked me to.”
“I promise, dad, I’ll barely even notice that,” Warden said with a smile and a nod, sketching a salute at the pegasus, before turning and heading back out of the bar, collar jingling happily.
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This chapter? Comedy gold, right there! Even better with Spitfire randomly turning up!!
And why do I have to feeling that wasn't Warden, but Kuno, in the bar?
Oh yeah... because it was!!!
Love it
Who knew Spitfire was so kinky? That was awkward, wasn't it?
Spitfire... That was just kinda comical, I enjoyed this chapter very much, good job!
That last bit, that was Kuno as Warden. One thing, that Warden seemed a little too cheery around Gale. That and Warden called him "dad" and we know Warden doesn't call him that. Then again, that could be Warden trying to make up with his dad.
Wow.
Spitfire.
Wow.
Well, I guess you don't get to lead the Wonderbolts without being brave.
Brave enough to ask something like that.
Wow.
Also that's totally Kuno making up with Gale.
edit: Seriously, though, the changelings should've just gone public with a burlesque house. They of all ponies should know how weird ponies are about... sex. And it's hard to care about 'debasing' yourself when a new you is a mere flash of green fire away.
Only thing stopping it is the show's rating...
I'm calling that it wasn't warden at the end, well written as ever and the bit with spitfire was just amazing.
Damn it, Kuno! Stop impersonating Warden.
More of this, plz. Also, that was totally Kuno at the end, wasn't it?
Now I know why I love Kuno so much... she reminds me of my family growing up!
ALL OF MY YES! THIS CHAPTER GETS ALL OF MY YES! Seriously though, Kuno is a comedic GENIUS! I love the personality you gave her. And the way she meshes with Warden is just...
Also, you are now required to write a kuno x warden x spitfire "moment". I hope you're happy with yourself!
Well then that was......interesting honestly I could not stop laughing at that part with spitfire. Also that had to be kuno at the end there there's no doubt about it.
Hahaha Spitfire is awesome. Great chapter!
I love Kuno so much.
>Kuno impersonates Warden to seduce Spitfire by promising to let her sleep with Kuno. Warden walks in on them, naturally.
Can this please happen? It would be awkward and confusing and I would enjoy it immensely.
Kuno has to just love it there, she's never going to get bored... or go hungry
3114341
this would be gold.
man... imagine the day when Swarm gets told about the birds and the bees... now that's going to be epic!
Warden at the end there was totally Kuno.
And that Spitfire scene was awkward as heck.
You know, we're all expecting that to be Kuno there at the end. Wouldn't it the swerve of all swerves if it wasn't? If it was Warden acting like he thought Kuno would so that he could blame it on her if it didn't go well?
And yes Spitfire, that would so be hot.
If Kuno turned into Spitfire and had a night with Spitfire, how would we classify it?
BWAAAHAHAHAHAHA! Spitfire!
Warden, you nut, why'd you turn her down?
Kuno, stop impersonating Warden. Stahp.
At least 50% odds that the ending was Kuno meddling.
Dear Anonymous Pegasus,
I would like to formally request that a Spitfire-Kuno-Warden scene is added to the Lost Chapters in some form or another, at your discretion. I have the utmost certainty* that your fans, followers, enemies, parents, casual acquaintances, your secret ninth-grade crush, me, and anyone who browses the internet will appreciate your effort beyond belief.
Sincerely, That One Guy.
( * = relative certainty, as in 'I just KNOW I'll win the lottery this time!')
PLEASE tell me the Spitfire threesome ends up in the Lost Chapters!
I have this mental picture of Spitfire, rolling around the floor laughing her flank off once the door closed. I think Kuno is a little bit more of a Wondebolt than she realizes.
And once 'Warden' and dad reconcile, the last line has got to be "Good to have that behind us. Now come on. You need to repeat that to your son. It should be fairly easy, I've got him tied up in our room."
3114421
The ultimate hottest Spit take the world has ever seen?
...
I regret nothing...
3114450 I raise too 99%.
Daaaamn, Spitfire!
my sides! XD
im laughing so hard right now XD
but come on warden! you could of had a 3some! it was dumb for you to turn that down! XD
and Kuno you sly ling you! :3
If that chapter ended the way I thought it did, it might mean some serious repercussions down the line...
If I were in Warden's position there I might have actually killed Kuno there.
Does this make me a bad person?
I'm a moron
I didn't even consider the fact that Waren was Kuno until I started to read the comments
But you must admit, Waren admitting he's whipped isn't that far feched
Next thing you know we'll be told that SpiteFire has tiger blood and is on a drug called Spitfire.
Kuno was Warden. It's obvious.
Man, family matter should NOT be fucked with, in my opinion. Kuno's playing a dangerous game here.
Spitfire, you kinky bitch you
3114466
This, This right here is the voice of your fans Anonymous Pegasus. We crave moar Spitfire.
I have algebra right before lunch period and my phone starts buzzing. I sneak a peek down at it and it says this story updated and I swear I started counting the seconds to lunch so I could read the update.
Oh dear god, Spitfire
And yeah, after rereading that last scene... definitely Kuno
Small remark:
> what are you wearing a collar?
should probably be either "[why] are you wearing a collar?" or "what are you wearing a collar [for]?"
I can’t use magic
No shit, Sherlock. Pretty sure your mom already knew that.
LoL the double spitfire needs to be added to you lost chapters story
The whole exchange with Spitfire was the best part of the story so far. Had me in stitches!
3114466 <- WHAT THEY SAID XD I'm going to be found dead laughing. AGAIN. XD
Absolutely amazing chapter, I laughed pretty hard at the Spitfire scene
Although, was kinda hoping Warden would say yes to letting her watch 
Either way, keep up the awesome work!!!! Affliction of the Heart is by far my favorite fic to read!! :D
And yup, Swarm is gonna be the most messed up/troublesome/and-or/weirdest filly as she grows up.
Who there Spitfire, pull your reins back or something.
Kuno impersonating Warden it would appear as at the end.
Why do I get the sense that Kuno and Spitfire would not only make good friends but are to fool around with Warden some more.
Damn you Warden, why are you not more depraved!?
Win, that is all.
3114341 Warden would flip his shit if she pulled that. Not that it wouldn't be sexy, but it I'd have to side with Warden. He'd pretty much would get a free pass later on, because she would have in essence cheated on him twice. Assuming AP does go this route, Warden better get his because he punched her after he found out about the love spell she put on him.