Felony Misdemeanor
Swarm stared glumly at her half of the paper set up on the easel.
A black splatter of ink was strewn across the centre of it, from the careless flick of Wrought Iron’s hoof.
Swarm was wrestling with the idea of putting an image on paper. It was a crazy idea to her.
“U-uhm, Miss Acumen?” Swarm asked uncertainly, looking towards the older mare.
The teacher stepped closer, looking Swarm up and down. “Yes, is there a problem?”
Swarm looked down at her forehooves, mincing them back and forth nervously. “H-how do I paint?”
Sparkling Acumen paused at that, a deep frown creasing her already wrinkled face. “What do you mean... how?”
“I... don’t know how,” Swarm said with a simple nod. “Can you teach me?”
Sparkling Acumen blinked once, before she stepped closer to the easel, and picked up a brush. Leaning in, she drew a simple circle, a line for a neck, four lines for legs, and then another circle for the head. She dipped the brush into the water, swished it around to get it clean, and then went for the red, scrawling in a mane and tail with a practised flick of her wrist. “There.”
Swarm blinked, her head tilting to the side slowly. “What is it?”
Sparkling Acumen stared for a long moment, beginning to look offended. “It’s a...” she paused, turning to Wrought Iron. “Iron, what is this drawing of?”
“It’s a pony,” Wrought Iron said with a shrug.
Swarm stared, blinking once. “No it’s not.”
Sparkling Acumen paused again at that, leaning closer to the point, before pointing with the end of the brush. “Look, mane, tail, body, head.”
Swarm blinked and leaned closer, her expression bewildered. “But... it doesn’t look anything like a pony.”
Sparkling Acumen sighed faintly, rubbing her forehead with a hoof. “It’s a painting. It’s not supposed to be perfect.”
Swarm frowned deeply, rubbing a hoof through her mane uncertainly. “Then... why bother painting at all?”
The teacher stared at her student for a long moment, shaking her head. “Because it’s fun.”
Swarm blinked at that. “Oh. Okay!” she said brightly, moving forwards to pick up the brush.
Sparkling Acumen stared at the young filly for several long moments, before she leaned in close to whisper into her ear. “Swarm... who is your mother?”
“Kuno,” Swarm responded idly, staring intently at the canvas.
“What kind of pony is she?” Sparkling Acumen queried.
Swarm blinked once, shifting her attention to the teacher. “She’s not a pony. She’s a changeling.”
Sparkling Acumen stiffened slightly at that, her brows furrowing. “I suspected...”
A series of heated whispers started up from the easel behind Swarm, and her ears reddened as she realised that other foals had heard. She cast her gaze towards Wrought Iron, but he was focusing on his drawing, and didn’t seem to have heard.
Warden sighed faintly as he trudged along the long road towards Ponyville, limping heavily on his bad hoof. He had several things to do in Ponyville. He had to find an employee that was capable of at least helping tend to the aurora crop, get supplies for the house, and for the aurora itself. There was special fertilizer to buy and mix with certain herbs to ensure that the aurora didn’t die. There was also a certain thing he intended to do in Ponyville that he was careful to keep from Kuno. He had gone far enough to ensure that she stayed home just to make sure she didn’t inadvertently find out about it.
After almost an hour of walking, Warden finally made it to Ponyville, pausing to sit on a park stool and rest with a faint groan. Warden missed flying. It was so much faster and simpler than walking. Especially with such a busted hoof. Disconcertingly, Warden noted that his good hoof was thicker and more defined in musculature than his bad hoof. His crippled limb was wasting away from lack of use.
A heavy sigh left the pegasus as he rolled off the bench and continued into town, huffing faintly. It felt like he might be coming down with something. Warden thought it likely that it would be a common cold, as he had spent enough time in the rain and cold recently to warrant it.
Warden headed for the garden centre first, pushing his way through the old bead curtain and into the dark shop. The smell of fertilizer, acrid and powerful, immediately assaulted his senses. The pegasus paused, lifting his nose and inhaling deeply, before giving a low sigh. He had always loved that smell.
A strangely familiar scent found his nostrils underneath the pungent aroma of fertilizer, and Warden turned with a blink towards a corner of the room. An earth pony was arranging the packets of seeds to make them line up all neat and proper. She had a lovely green mane and the softest of brown coats, with a single green plant shoot on her rump as a cutie mark.
“Green hoof?” Warden asked incredulously, staring.
The earth pony swiveled around to peer back over her shoulder, giving a wry smile. “Well, fancy running into you here, Warden.”
“Small world, huh?” Warden asked, shaking his head slowly. “What are you doing here?”
“I got sick and tired of the cold. And Mint Green needed a place to go to school. The crystal empire ponies are... well, let’s just say I didn’t want him learning in their schools,” Green hoof said with a firm wave of her hoof.
“Mint Green? Did you have a foal?” Warden asked with a faint laugh and a shake of his head.
Green Hoof snorted once, raising a brow. “Why so incredulous? Last I checked, I had the needed bits and pieces to have a foal.”
“You just never struck me as the motherly type,” Warden said, scratching his chin with a hoof. “You were pretty obsessed with your work. I didn’t think you’d have time to raise a foal.”
Nodding in understanding, Green Hoof turned back to the row of seed packets, making sure they were all straight. “Well, Stunning Facet and I divided our time to raise him.”
“Ahhh, Stunning Facet? Isn’t he that rich crystal pony that runs the jewellery store?” Warden queried.
“He relocated here to Ponyville with us, he sources gems straight from Miss Rarity and cuts them to fit to jewellery, it’s pretty lucrative work,” Green Hoof said with a faint smile, turning to begin straightening up the bags of fertilizer.
“Then... why are you working here in this old place if your husband makes so much money?” Warden asked, genuinely confused.
“Well... after Mint Green started going to school, I had a lot of time at home, alone. I don’t really know the whole gem business... and I need something to do during the day so I don’t go stir crazy,” Green Hoof admitted, grimacing and rubbing a hoof through her mane.
Warden nodded in understanding. “So you’re not really... tied to any one place?”
Green hoof paused at that, and then gave a wry smile. “I think I got this job more as sympathy than any real need for a helper.”
“Well...” Warden paused, giving a helpless shrug. “I need an extra worker. I have to produce more of my crop.”
“And... what exactly are you growing?” Green Hoof asked carefully.
Warden gave a slow smile at that. “How would you like to help grow one of the hardest-to-grow plants in all equestria?”
Swarm stared up at her half of the page for a long, long moment, frowning deeply. Wrought Iron had already finished his side of the page, having painted a dark splotch that he said was an anvil with a hammer on top of it. It was just a meaningless shape to her.
“Uhm... Miss Acumen?” Swarm asked, looking up at the older mare.
Sparkling Acumen frowned slightly, stepping closer to the filly, leaning down to converse quietly. “What’s the matter this time, Swarm?”
“What do I draw?” Swarm asked uncertainly, looking around, bewildered.
“Anything you like,” Sparkling Acumen responded with a warm smile. “Why not your mo-er, father?”
“My father is too white,” Swarm said immediately. “And the page is white. There’s no white paint. It would be weird.”
“Very well... do you have any brothers or sisters?”
Swarm shook her head firmly.
“What are your favorite places?” Sparkling Acumen asked.
“I really like daddy’s garden and the Everfree Forest,” Swarm admitted, rubbing a hoof against her chin. “But they’re both really far away and I can’t draw them if they’re so far away.”
“Very well... draw the easel,” Sparkling Acumen suggested.
Swarm blinked, and her pupils dilated slightly, before she snorted and shook her head rapidly as if to clear it. “But then I’d be painting a picture of an easel on it that has a picture of an easel on it and that has another picture of an easel on it and I can’t paint that small!”
Sparkling Acumen sighed faintly, shaking her head. “Very well. Draw whatever you can see out the window. The palace, perhaps?”
Swarm pondered on that for a long moment, before she nodded slightly, smiling brightly. “I’ll draw the palace!”
Warden hummed happily as he made his way towards a small house on the outside of Ponyville. It was a cottage, with a neat front garden, and a swing hanging from an apple tree. It was a very unassuming place, but there was something off about the cottage. The faint smell of antiseptic wafted from inside, and even though their were warm candles lit and happy paintings in the hallway, there was no mistaking that this was not a residential address.
Staring up at the house, Warden slowly walked down the path and to the front door, knocking lightly and clearing his throat nervously.
A young unicorn mare stepped out from one of the back rooms, smiling and bowing respectfully. “Mister Warden, I assume?’
Warden nodded wordlessly, licking his lips.
“Right this way, sir,” the mare said, pivoting and then heading down the hallway.
Warden followed her, feeling a little bit nervous and twitchy. It was his first time there, but the reputation of the place preceded it. There were several closed doors, and the faint sound of moans and groans coming from behind them, as well as the odd muffled squeal.
The young mare led him to a small room with a rather wicked-looking harness hung from the ceiling. There were purple candles on a shelf, cheery paintings on the wall, and a soft nest of cushions, as well as several tools and instruments that looked painful to say the least.
Warden cleared his throat, giving a nervous exhale. “U-uhm, here’s my bits,” he said, offering a small pouch.
“We know you’re good for it,” the mare said with a warm smile, motioning towards the harness. “This will immobilise you completely. You are allowed a bullet if you think you will scream, but the rooms are soundproofed, and we’re far enough away from the town that no one will mind. Sometimes, the screaming helps some of our patients.”
Warden stared up at the imposing set of braces and harnesses, his ears splaying. He liked to think he could keep from screaming, but past experiences told him otherwise. “I-I think I’ll take the bullet.”
The mare nodded knowingly. “Well, come climb up and I’ll get you set up. Our specialist is with another patient right now, but she’ll be done in a few minutes.”
Warden nodded quietly, sidling up to the harness and eying it curiously. “Erm... how do I get into this thing?”
The mare tilted her head, and her horn glowed, her magic literally lifting him off his hooves and into position. Warden’s weight came down across the harnesses, his hooves a few inches from the floor, and then the mare was there to soothingly stroke at his mane.
“Try not to panic. We’re not going to do anything too unreasonable to you,” she murmured soothingly, starting to cinch down the straps. “It is your right wing that is injured?”
Warden nodded jerkily. “P-please try to be gentle on it. M-my right hoof is also crippled.”
“We’ll try not to hurt you, Sir Warden, but please remember, given what we are going to do to you... pain is almost a certainty,” the mare reminded gently.
Warden nodded shakily. “I-I know. I knew that when I made my appointment...”
The mare smiled at that. “Good. Some ponies come here thinking that they’re in for some kind of spa treatment, it is nice to know that you’ve done your research.”
The straps were all tightened and cinched down, and then it was time for Warden’s wings to be extended. The mare was gentle, but he still winced in pain when his right wing was fully extended into a position it hadn’t held in many months.
“Now, I’m going to give you a ball to hold, Warden. This is very, very important. If at any time you want us to stop, then you need merely drop the ball, you understand?” the mare asked warmly, smiling at him.
Warden nodded jerkily. “Y-yeah, I know how this works.”
“Try not to drop the bullet,” the mare said, as she placed the ball in his hoof. “If it’s dropped in the middle of a strenuous activity, then our specialist won’t stop to replace it. We’ve had patients almost bite through their own tongues in that instance.”
Warden paled at that, starting to rethink his choice.
“Now, I’m going to give you something that will make you feel good and content, okay? You’re not allergic to opioids, are you?”
Warden shook his head slightly. “I-I don’t think so.”
“Good. Now, bite this,” the mare said, holding up a vaguely cylindrical length of wood with purple cloth wound around it.
Warden opened his mouth, taking the bullet into it and biting down on it firmly. There was the prick of a needle at the base of his neck, just above his shoulder, and he shuddered as a wash of contentedness washed over him. He barely even blinked as an oriental mare unicorn stepped in through one of the back doors, brushing a strand of mane out of her face.
“This is Mr Warden?” she asked brusquely.
The younger mare nodded. “Yes ma’am.”
“Very well, let’s get started,” she said, scooping up a jar of powder and dusting her hooves with it.
Swarm stared up at her newly-created picture of the Canterlot palace. She’d had to cut it off prematurely when she found out that she started painting too big.
The other foals had all gone to recess, and she was still sitting there painting, scratching the surface of the paint with the blunt end of the paintbrush and blurring it with dabs of a tissue, and even with a piece of paper she had found, when she wanted a rougher texture.
Sparkling Acumen sat behind her, staring over her shoulder in awe.
“You’ve never painted before?” the mare asked, dumbstruck.
“Never,” Swarm said with a faint shrug, her wings giving the faintest of flutters. “Isn’t it obvious? It looks horrible. I can barely even tell what it is.”
Sparkling Acumen slowly shook her head, staring at the rending of the Canterlot Palace.
It was an almost perfect painting of the palace. Swarm had somehow managed to capture the texture of bricks in the painting, and the colour of her sky was a perfect match to the sky outside, even to the point where it faded to more white along the horizon. The foliage and the cliffs were just smudges of brown and green, mere impressions of greenery and mountain. But the castle itself was sharp and focused. However, there was something off about her picture.
Sparkling Acumen couldn’t put her hoof on it exactly, but something about the painting made her uneasy. It reminded her of when the changelings had attacked, and merely glancing towards the castle had sent chills down her spine. It emanated evil somehow back then, and now, on the foal’s painting, it did the same.
“Swarm... are you trying to make this painting... unsettling?” Sparkling Acumen asked quietly.
Swarm blinked once, shaking her head. “I’m just drawing what I see.”
“Well...what do you see when you look at the palace?”
Swarm pondered on that for a long moment, scratching her chin with the blunt end of the paint brush, marking her grey fur with black paint unknowingly. “I see the palace. Where the evil princess lives.”
Sparkling Acumen stared at the foal for a long, long moment, shaking her head slowly. “I think I shall need to talk to your parents.
Warden stepped heavily down the front steps of the small cottage, a faint, distracted smile on his face. Although everything was still a little hazy from the opioids, he was told that everything had gone smoothly. There was a strong sense of ‘wrongness’ that had been righted, something that he hadn’t even been aware of, even though his hoof and especially his wing ached far more than usual due to the rough treatment they’d received.
The young mare waved him farewell from the front door, smiling warmly. “Come back soon, Mister Warden, we’d be happy to help you with your other little problem.”
Warden nodded weakly over his shoulder, before starting to limp back towards the centre of Ponyville. He would catch a carriage halfway to Canterlot, and at least save him a half hour or so of walking.
Warden was just happy that, during the entire ordeal, he had managed not to scream.
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images3.wikia.nocookie.net/__cb20070507234716/uncyclopedia/images/b/be/Shitstorm-flyer.jpg
2760545 Why?
No, seriously, I don't understand!
So......Warden is trying to get himself fixed? And he has another problem? I want to know what that is!!
And which one told him that the princesses were evil?
I, uh... I don't get it. He's... Having an affair? Getting some medical treatment? Indulging a fetish? Answers, someone, please? Cuz I'm confused as shit right now. What is happening that is supposed to be causing so much butthurt?
Awesome, another chapter and just in time for lunch. ^_^
Wait... Warden isn't crippled anymore? Swarm is autistic? Or Kuno is a terrible parent?
2760586 Where else would you need restraints, harnesses, and a drop-ball?
Ten bits says Warden is getting physiotherapy.
Yay! I love this story!
Childhood art prodigy, secret therapy and something brown on the horizon.
And I'm already waiting for the next chapter. Patiently, of course; the best of things are worth the wait.
2760545
memeorama.com/wp-content/uploads/2012/02/there-be-a-shit-storm-a-brewin.jpg
2760594
Ah, he's visiting a whore house.
Wait, what? Why? He seems so perfectly content at home. And besides, it appears he remembers almost nothing from this "treatment," as they gave him drugs. Why would you go to a whore house just to get drugged to the point you don't remember anything about it? And when have we seen Warden having any interest in bondage? If it is really such a huge turn on for him that he would cheat on his wife for it, shouldn't we have seen it before now? And when did Kuno say she wouldn't do this?
AP, I'm not getting angry because of this, I'm just still confused. As its written, it seems so... out of place.
2760613 Actually
I think a lot of people are bypassing the 'bait' entirely and waiting for the 'switch'.
I'm either losing my touch or I'm getting predictable!
...I'm not sure what to think.... and even more unsure of what just happened... but the title said felony so it was illegal...
I must say this is by far the best of the trilogy. the first one was good and the second one got just a liiiittle too sensual for me
but this one is great
2760616
2760620 It's the name of a trope, if you really want to know. Look it up.
2760617
You just need to thumbs.newschoolers.com/index.php?src=http://media.newschoolers.com/uploads/images/17/00/42/13/91/421391.jpeg&size=600x564
The Palace where the evil princess lives?
I believe it could be either one of two things:
1) Damn Kuna can hold a grudge against Cadance (although this probably isn't the reason)
2)Some form of Changeling instinct perhaps or perhaps some telepathic connection with Chrysalis?
Either way this was another incredible chapter and I can't wait for more!
2760545 Why would there be a shitstorm is it because she called Celestia evil because I laughed at that
2760617
No, but it seems a bit obvious. You never mention sex, and as I mentioned in my other comment, this is so out of place and sudden, it's fairly obvious that this isn't just him cheating on Kuno.
Points for the attempt, but this is either:
A) out of nowhere, jarring, and fake drama, which is beneath you
Or
B) way too obvious a trick which, again, you are capable of writing much better.
2760643 Yeah, I'm losing my touch.
Ok. So I assume that you want us to think that this is some illicit and sexual activity. But because it gives no clear detail to what Warden did, we're also supposed to assume that it is something innocent that isn't cheating on Kuno. Then again, you could be trying to do the exact opposite, making us think thats it's actually innocent, when it is not. Damn it, now I am going to be thinking about this until the next Chap comes out!
"The evil princess." Yeah, that's gonna make some trouble...
Why Swarm considers one of princesses evil?
2760591 My own answer to these questions are:
He's trying to not be.
Yes.
And unintentionally yes.
I didn't understand anything from this. What the fuck? This has NEVER happened before... What is really going on here?
It's quite obviously Acupuncture.
2760586 Yeah, I'm a bit confused too... Is that a BDSM dungeon or a chiropractor's office ? Both ? How does that work ?
Isn't... why... world full of ponies...
You do realize fertilizer would be awfully hard to sell given how easy it would be to acquire, right?
It's even weirder because he loves the smell.
Also, I hope the garden store isn't too close to the fan store. Because something tells me they're going to meet soon, and it ain't gonna be pretty.
I'm doing the inception face right now, because WTF doesn't even describe the cuntyfission that I am feeling right now. I mean, if Kuno knows all about sex, she will probs know all about BDSM and Bondage and other crazy shit.
Folks, folks, folks. As interesting as these theories all are, you seem to be overlooking key, important points.
1) They asked Warden if he was allergic to "opioids," a reasonably broad classification that includes opium and its derivatives, including morphine. Make of that what you will. Also consider that they're paying extra attention to his injured limbs.
2) Kuno considers herself at least a bit evil due to serious survivor's guilt (Chrysalis just wanted the same thing she had, using the same methods, but the difference is she's in prison for it). If she thinks that about an informant, consider what she might think about the jailer.
Or maybe it was just a story she told to scare Swarm away from ever wanting to go to the palace because she's terrified of what might happen to her there.
2760685 To your first point, yes. I started with 'opiates' and then looked it all up and needed to use 'opioids' instead.
Second point, Swarm thinks the princess is evil because she grew up with Warden and Kuno.
Forgive my allegory, but it's like this:
If you grew up with the KKK as your parents, you'd probably HATE black people for no reason at all. Same as jews and nazi's. Or anyone born in 1980 and Justin Beiber.
If the only thing you hear about a group is bad, then you're going to think of that group as 'evil'. Especially if you're young.
2760647 Don't mind Jake, he's just trying to keep your writing amazing... He's also been a bit harsh lately, but he means well
2760695
From this, I take that I hit a couple of the nails on the head, or at least managed to not give them the Tim Taylor treatment.
But I assure you, sir, I only hate Justin Beiber for good reasons, all of which escape my recollection at this moment.
So Warden got a physical therapy and Kuno really suck at telling bedtime stories or at least she didn't think that Swarm will start telling them everywhere. Either way, good work.
Yeah, if you're going with "hurr hurr they're gonna think Warden's catting around", I'm not buying it. Sounds like physio to me (sister's a massage therapist; I'm guessing powder makes more sense than oil/lotion for coats and/or wings). I'm more concerned about the shitstorm heading Swarm and Kuno's way.
Oh my, it seems like we got a...
2760545
WHAT!?!??!? HOW CAN YOU READ MY MIND?!
Wait, now I am confused: was he getting some sort of treatment (which is what I thought after reading chapter), or was this a whore house (which I began to think after reading the comments)? Because if it is the other
1) His wife is a changeling, he can bang different female every night.
2) They didn't ask him for his safeword.
3) Kuno can change into dragon. Seems suicidally to go around cheating
Although, this might be just me unability to understand what people are writing about in the comments.
2760814 The ball. A ball, or bell, replaces a safe word when the subject is gagged.
2760821 Oh, I get it n- WAIT, SO IT WAS A WHORE HOUSE!??!?!?!
Oh, well, I guess you have your reasons. Or rather Warden has them... This joke is confused.
Is Warden fixing his aches? That would be neat.
2760647
You just rushed it, maybe next time write from Kuno side without omniscient narrator
2760653
You and me both...
I guess this is one of those deliberately ambiguous chapter thingies that keeps us wondering what exactly is going on. My money is on the he went to the Double Entendre Physical Therapy Clinic run by Leather Strap and the S & M sisters.
I cannot imagine Warden would be dumb enough to try to cheat on an empath that feeds off love. It would be like serving dinner while trying to cover up the fact that it consists of rotten eggs and burned salad.
Kuno even said so herself back in chapter 1:
(Of course I could be completely wrong...) Looking forward to seeing how all this will be cleared up in the next chapters.
This is going to be one awkward PTA meeting...
I'm really interested to see how this develops. Also is Warden afraid to trust Kuno with bondage considering that she accidentally killed a pony that way? What kind of whorehouse has those kinds of drugs anyway? Perhaps it is extreme physical therapy. Of course there is no reason it couldn't be both. This leaves me with a lot of what and why, and I suppose I have no choice but to stay tuned for more.
Chiropractors, gardening assistants and socially clueless hybrid foals.
T'was a fun chapter.
Somehow, i get the feeling it's not JUST a simple location with simple people he went to...
2760586 Try having a broken arm that's been healed in the wrong way for a few years then go tio a doctor for therapy to reduce the swelling and to fix the damage. the treatment for such an injury is not very pleasant. think stretching a muscle to the point you think your going to tear your arm off. and then having it beat upon constantly to tenderize the muscles into relaxing then having your limb set into the proper position for an extended period of time.
2760647
I wouldn't say that. You still write amazing stories, THIS particular event, however, fell flat. Doesn't mean your writing is slipping, just that you tried something that didn't pan out. If anything, it means that you've developed your characters so well that we know that Warden wouldn't do something like that. Off-hand, I can't really think of a way you could write it any more ambiguously and have it believable. The only way I can see is having it from Kuno's perspective, she sees him go in and gets suspicious. But that would be terribly cliche, as I'm sure you've thought. Maybe... you could have faked an addiction to the powder he snuffed to fly that one time? Or, maybe just have had an old lady friend give him the "treatment" instead of some random house.
2760717
Where have I been harsh? Oh, right, Drill Sergeant.
2761060 At least you didn't make this one piss himself in fear... I love you man
I think the last 2 or 3 fics I've noticed you on have had Nega Tweak.
Here and TLTM are the ones I remember off the top of my head but I know there was a third
Amputation.
Hey man don't beat your self up over this chapter being easy to read. It's a good chapter, and i can wait to see what happens.