daggraforce
Joined 19th Nov, 2012 ·
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1908391 Yeah it will be, first big fight chapter coming soon!
a BIONICLE fic?!!!!! sir/ma'am you have made me VERY happy
yeah the makuta(i always refereed to him by that title out of habit) HAS hit rock bottom SURELY he still has some powers?!!
i'm REALLY loving this story i loved bionicle growing up and im happy to see someone who remembers it!
1915893
Im happy if youre happy!
I regret nothing
okay, some flaws.
1: grammar. When a different person/pony speaks, you must start a new paragraph.
2: Spelling.
3: some personalities are off.
5: No..... Wait a minute-
4: INDENTS!!
5: very important, five. Don't let me eat pears. I HATE PEARS!
(Obligatory Doctor Who reference.)
1927398
I appreciat the feedback
Paragraphs form please thank you.
25.media.tumblr.com/b633e1bb99af2ae4ac0904edbbce3cea/tumblr_mgobbkzKTI1s3wpfgo1_1280.jpg
mate, ya got to put spaces between senctences with different diologe.
We walked in silence for some time, until Rarity spoke up, obviously nervous “And, where are you from, Teridax?” She feared me, I heard that. Maybe they weren’t used to killing. “Listen, Rarity, I know that for some reason you fear me, but I assure you, the rightful don’t need to fear me.”
“Well, Darling, I’m just not used to… killing, so I assume that’s the cause.” She gave me a forced smile. I sighed, and nodded. It was like that back home, the small folk always feared the Members of the brotherhood for our… rather direct methods of punishment.
“Too answer your question, Rarity, I’m from a lovely Tropical Island” Her expression lighted up immediately.
“Oh, with pure white sand beaches and Palm trees?” she asked rather excited.
“Yes, just like that”. (might want to add something here)[ I replied ]
“OH, it must have been wonderful, darling!” My expression grew sorrowful as I thought about home. Yes, indeed it was....
(Something like this. Love the story, just your sentences get scrunched together)
I practically grew up on Bionicle, and I have seen more "disturbing" mature content, so what's the big deal?
She just $&%#ed a freaking shadow god like Makuta pony.
what the hell?!
Did you know that Queen Chrysalis and Roodaka are vocied by the same actor?!
What a strange coincidence
2955286 Well, it is not the only coincidence.
The same thing is with Jaller and Shining Armour.
3493014
Everyone knows that
*looks down* Damn it. *leaves to change pants*
Uhh, that was pretty weird,in my opinion ever since when was Makuta a good guy?
1908409 i hope its gona be bloody.
I love this story.
Okey. Now i leave.