On a trip to the islands of Ponesia, Scootaloo discovers surfing, and instantly falls in love...
Chapters (1)
Francois
Joined 25th Jan, 2012 ·
Offline
Join our SubscribeStar to remove these adverts!
Join our SubscribeStar to remove these adverts!
Stats
Page generated in 0.128 seconds
Total duration
1,020 users online
374,312 hits today, 2,151,698 yesterday
FIMFiction
My Little Pony: Friendship is Magic Fanfiction
Designed and coded by knighty & Xaquseg - © 2011-2024
Follow & Support Us
Support us
SubStar
Chat!
Discord
Follow us
Twitter
MLP: Friendship is Magic® - © 2024 Hasbro Inc.®
Fimfiction is in no way affiliated with or endorsed by Hasbro Inc.®
Nice story! Though I misread the title as "Scootaloo discovers suffering" and read the story expecting the worst to happen.
Amazing! I seriously couldn't stop reading.
Surfing? Coastie plebs.
Scoots should give freeheel backcountry skiing a try.
Snowboarders like to look down on skiers. We look down both on snowboarders and skiers who can't telemark. They'll never get into Sovngarde.
Duuude that was sick bro!
^is that how surfers speak or am i doin it wrong?
Either way, I enjoyed this
It was very interesting, I will admit. Very well written.
I didn't see any grammatical errors either.
However, it could have a bit more detail. Like, for instance, when did Scootaloo first see other ponies surfing and want to try it herself?
Other than that, it's amazing. Keep up all the awesome work. Now, here, have a mustache.
1868270
I didn't really want to make this a story about scootaloo, more a story about surfing. I just like scootaloo and think that she would probably make a good surfer.
If I was aiming for a longer story, say, 4000 words, then I would have made a more in depth story. But yea, I admit, the thing could have used a longer introduction. Plus, reaching pro surfer levels of surfing in two weeks? 
1868188
Lol... You're close, but it varies quite a bit from region to region. I'm from South Africa, and we would say something closer to: "Awe man! That was SICK!"
But hey, we speak like most people most of the time.
1868178
I've never seen snow, ever. You'd be a better guy to write that.
1868128
1868098
Poor Scootaloo.
Seriously impressive brother, very glad to see you still writing, I really enjoyed how detailed it was and that she had gotten her Cutie Mark at last, you did real well, I'm hoping to see more of your writing soon
1871985
I'll have to get a computer sometime in January next year, and then I'll be able to actually get some real writing in. How much writing I'd be able to do will be determined by how demanding my studies end up being...
1874077 Shit bro...that will be a while
1874566 Nah, Jan is in two days bra.
1875048 Seriously? Where the hay have I been?
1875074
Christmas food coma?
1875622
No but that would make a really funny one-shot if Spike and Luna were trying to out eat eachother
Spike vs Luna eating contest? Spike doesn't stand much of a chance against the Princess of the night.
If Luna and Celestia tried to beat each other in eating out each other, that would make a better one shot IMHO.
The story was really good!
1889682
Thanks!
...my first impression, halfway through the story: surfing is wet
also...1876561 Damn...I could think of a plot bunny of mine to go with that. And the longer they were doing it (in the night) the better chances Luna would have. Spike is still young and needs his sleep from time to time
So, back to the story. You need a comment from someone completely unrelated to surfing, right? Well, to start of, where are Scootaloos friends? A story about one of the crusaders without any mention of at least a second one (or better yet, all of them) leaves an easily fillable hole in your story.
Ponys surfing, hmmm...how about they paddle with all four hooves? The way you wrote it sounds like she only used her forehooves. Also, what does 'pumping up and down' a wave mean? I had some...strange pictures in my head regarding that. Other than that your explanation of surfing was easily understandable.
A last gripe I have to tell you though, Scootaloos character wasn't spot-on. She is, as shown in some episodes all about rushing, finding things that are cool and speed. While you could deliver these messages in the story you did not, which left the whole character very...bland.
Now I don't want to leave you on a bad note - your idea for writing an original story out of this would really work, especially with this little fictional work. Leave Scootaloo out of it, develop your character in the story, write a bit more about surfing. Even if that turns out longer as you intended it to be, it really could become a good story. A pony-related story not so much, sadly
Honestly, the only reason I made this ponified, was so that I could post it here.
Also, I only used Scootaloo because she would seem to be the most plausible character to try surfing. I agree I wrote her very bland, but that is because I was trying to avoid revolving the story around Scootaloo, as intend to de-ponify this and make it a human story.
Oh, and the whole pumping up and down thing, here is a video of surfing where you might get a better idea of what I am talking about:
And here is a video that gives you a good idea of what surfing is about: