The Mane Six each have a... "personal problem" that they need your help with, and soon discover how helpful you can be. But can your new friendships survive when others decide that they need 'help' as well? Human in Anthro Equestr
Should I upload the rest of the Mane 6 "First Up" chapters at once? Upvote this comment if you think I should! Downvote it if you think I should add them as I complete them!
Thoughts on this Chapter:
Twilight's Section: I'm very happy with this section, the cute factor is over 9000! Just wish I could've worked more 'normal' interaction in there.
Pinkie's Section: Thank you Aburi and GorillasJab for the ideas that made this section possible! The very end of it isn't great, but as a whole I'm very happy with it!
Fluttershy's Section: This one was good, not my favorite, but I felt like it was missing something. I couldn't figure out a good way to work time of the protag and fluttershy just hanging out wordlessly for a while... blech.
Dash's Section: Almost copy-pasted from the original first chapter with some mild expansion. I was happy with it in the first place and I still am, even if it's not a perfect fit for this version.
Rarity's Section: Eh, I'm actually the least happy with this section. It works, but it doesn't really... I dunno, I just don't like it all that much.
Applejack's Section: I'm retty happy with this! Just wish I could've gotten more reasons to do the things in there without bending Second Person much, but I couldn't figure any good way out. Quite happy with how 'badass' the protag comes across.
General: Ugh, my transitions were ass. I'm unhappy with how they turned out but I've already improved them as much as I could.
I say that you just add the rest of the Mane 6 "First Up" chapters at once so that the reader will be able to pick his favorite pony before reading the rest of the chapters. That's my opinion but it's up to you since your writing is amazing. Glad to see you back and posting!
2682704 Didn't you already promise to alternate between updates for this and consequences of originality? So, if you upload the rest at once, it would take an UNBEARABLY long time between updates for CoU? Please don't make us wait for months again,.
Side-note: Interesting choice of warning. Cute-overload? Passionate boinking?
I really, really love the characterization you've given Pinkie Pie, there is so much development in this one that I feel conflicted between helping her or Fluttershy and Twilight now. ^^; It's like you've put all of the development she had over the show to be much more deeper character than she appeared to be. I think out of all the other characters, this characterization of Pinkie has opened my eyes about how much we're used to seeing that one side of her that we completely ignore the growth she went through in the show. I think I've forgotten that's why this show is good, because whatever they learned in the previous episodes stick with them one way or another.
Yet another excellent chapter. I really like how you made the characters relatable and gave backstory for us. kinda makes the coming clopfic more meaningful
By the way, "You vaguely recognized some of the principles and equations of transformation magic, but only somewhat, whatever she was doing was some really advanced stuff. But the detached mumbling, despite it involving her hot breath against your neck, helped you calm down"
YES! This fic IS still in action! *ahem* That said, I'd place my vote for "post them one by one" rather than all at once. My votes, in order of priority from most wanted to least: Twilight Rarity Applejack Pinkie Pie Fluttershy
If you want to think in a tactical sense, considering the number of people who track this story, your best bet would be to post chapters as you finish them; that way, you are essentially gauranteed featured box each time, and you will gain more and more readers.
Plus, I plan to read them all, no matter the order.
This, in case it wasn't glaringly obvious, is a very good thing.
Also, choices, choices... But if I had to choose, I'd go with Applejack first, despite being more of a Twilight fan (on the other hand, this could be viewed as saving the best for last, lol).
In any case, do keep up the good work and plz don't keep us waiting too long. That'd be cruel, and cruelty is bad.
So, we're going to have a choice of who goes first, second, third and so on?
I take it that it will be the same for each one, for example, if we choose Dash first then Twilight, those who choose Dash third or fourth will have the same experience?
Otherwise this is going to get confusing as fuck! Also, why didn't I favourite this last time!
Pinkie pie Twilight Applejack Rainbow dash Fluttershy And I hate rarity so she can go last or just fuck off :3 Welp there you go (then again this is probably already decided anyway but whateves I like voting
2684050 Would make sense if they're like a lot of mammals that go into heat, where groups that stay together would start to synchronize with each other and the like. So, indeed possible that every made in Ponyville is going into heat. Oh god the stallions are gonna be sore when this is over.
Alright, after having read all three sections that you have here, I gotta say, this is pretty damn good. The feelings are great and well represented/ come off as they should, and the characters were actually in character IMO. I personally like the story/build up that you have so far. I'm assuming that despite it having been a while, that this fic is far from dead. Good luck, good job, and i'll be tracking.
2682704 I have yet to find any other CYOA stories, so I hope to see how this turns out! Before I do anything, I would like to point out that transitions may be shoddy if you keep the current format. Some outside editors may be needed. *nudge nudge*
Should I upload the rest of the Mane 6 "First Up" chapters at once? Upvote this comment if you think I should! Downvote it if you think I should add them as I complete them!
Thoughts on this Chapter:
Your writing never ceases to amaze
Glad to see more of this! Looking forward to progression.
WHOA. It updated! Sweet!
~Skeeter The Lurker
Alright some back info on how they get close, well written chapter, and I'll go with the latter of your 2 options (Hopefully with first~)
Honestly, I'd rather see them get done as they are written, since I am quite fond of this story, and I dearly want to see more of it.
Post as you go mon ami.
I say that you just add the rest of the Mane 6 "First Up" chapters at once so that the reader will be able to pick his favorite pony before reading the rest of the chapters. That's my opinion but it's up to you since your writing is amazing. Glad to see you back and posting!
So many choices, what do I choose!?
edgecast.lvlup-files.buscafs.com/uploads/news/photos/imgupload_1366495229_615.jpg
24.media.tumblr.com/tumblr_m4zc1fMLux1rwcc6bo1_500.gif
Wait... I thought your anthros had hooves...
Anyways; Twilight!
Just upload them as you write them
Decsion, decsion, decsion, I would go Fluttershy.
Pinkie!!!
Holy shit, this was an AMAZING read It's so bucking cute
So, lots of vanilla boinking and estrus excuses, is EVERY MARE IN HEAT AT ONCE!?
Because I'm a baker, I would take Pinky first.
Pinkie FTW! =D
Finally, it begin!
Good chapter. Why wasn't this posted first though?
Anyways I vote for Rarity
2682704
Didn't you already promise to alternate between updates for this and consequences of originality?
So, if you upload the rest at once, it would take an UNBEARABLY long time between updates for CoU?
Please don't make us wait for months again,.
Side-note:
Interesting choice of warning. Cute-overload? Passionate boinking?
TWILIGHT! NOWS!
i go with fluttershy
One by one.
I demand Fluttershy!
...I mean, if that's okay with you.
One by one. I believe I can speak for everyone reading this that we're going to read them all anyway.
I really, really love the characterization you've given Pinkie Pie, there is so much development in this one that I feel conflicted between helping her or Fluttershy and Twilight now. ^^; It's like you've put all of the development she had over the show to be much more deeper character than she appeared to be. I think out of all the other characters, this characterization of Pinkie has opened my eyes about how much we're used to seeing that one side of her that we completely ignore the growth she went through in the show. I think I've forgotten that's why this show is good, because whatever they learned in the previous episodes stick with them one way or another.
WHOHOO! An update!
Yet another excellent chapter. I really like how you made the characters relatable and gave backstory for us. kinda makes the coming clopfic more meaningful
By the way, "You vaguely recognized some of the principles and equations of transformation magic, but only somewhat, whatever she was doing was some really advanced stuff. But the detached mumbling, despite it involving her hot breath against your neck, helped you calm down"
Do I read a little foreshadowing mayhap?
Applejack.
It lives...
IT LIVES!!!
Ahem.
I'm good with whatever. I'd rather just forgo the 'Choose your own adventure' style, but your fic, your call. Have fun with it.
I did like the set up though, lotta fun.
YES! This fic IS still in action! *ahem* That said, I'd place my vote for "post them one by one" rather than all at once. My votes, in order of priority from most wanted to least:
Twilight
Rarity
Applejack
Pinkie Pie
Fluttershy
Put the 'first ups' all first Then start making moar branches from there please.
As you get them done, anyway.
Do whatever feels right, but there's no reason to keep us all waiting if you have material ready to go.
If you want to think in a tactical sense, considering the number of people who track this story, your best bet would be to post chapters as you finish them; that way, you are essentially gauranteed featured box each time, and you will gain more and more readers.
Plus, I plan to read them all, no matter the order.
As you get them done. I don't want to wait any longer than I have to.
IT LIVES.
This, in case it wasn't glaringly obvious, is a very good thing.
Also, choices, choices... But if I had to choose, I'd go with Applejack first, despite being more of a Twilight fan (on the other hand, this could be viewed as saving the best for last, lol).
In any case, do keep up the good work and plz don't keep us waiting too long. That'd be cruel, and cruelty is bad.
Only, ONLY, in this fandom would "no sex" be a trigger warning.
When I read the title a song came to mind:
So, we're going to have a choice of who goes first, second, third and so on?
I take it that it will be the same for each one, for example, if we choose Dash first then Twilight, those who choose Dash third or fourth will have the same experience?
Otherwise this is going to get confusing as fuck! Also, why didn't I favourite this last time!
Pinkie pie
Twilight
Applejack
Rainbow dash
Fluttershy
And I hate rarity so she can go last or just fuck off :3
Welp there you go (then again this is probably already decided anyway but whateves I like voting
I'll vote for Fluttershy and Applejack, along with Twilight
2684050 Would make sense if they're like a lot of mammals that go into heat, where groups that stay together would start to synchronize with each other and the like. So, indeed possible that every made in Ponyville is going into heat. Oh god the stallions are gonna be sore when this is over.
I'll go apple bucking
Hmm... a question comes up......What would Commander Shepard do?..Hmmmm.
2804591
I know, right!
What would a trigger reaction to that even look like?
Somebody walking in to my room to find me huddled up in a corner, shaking uncontrollably.
"Dude what's wrong!"
"T-they... they. They didn't..."
"What, dude!?"
"They didn't have sex. Not even once. They just... talked."
"Dear god. I'm so sorry you had to read that deviant smut."
5229054
Three simple words...
Bang. Them. All.
Alright, after having read all three sections that you have here, I gotta say, this is pretty damn good. The feelings are great and well represented/ come off as they should, and the characters were actually in character IMO. I personally like the story/build up that you have so far. I'm assuming that despite it having been a while, that this fic is far from dead. Good luck, good job, and i'll be tracking.
Would anyone happen to have a spare heart on them, mine clearly seems to be defective after reading the fluttershy part
All the romance was nice but my enthusiasm was viciously murdered when I saw that it was a Choose-Your-Own-Adventure story.
They are okay and I can see the appeal. I just don't want to deal with them when I am reading to relax.
I think either is ok...
2682704
I have yet to find any other CYOA stories, so I hope to see how this turns out!
Before I do anything, I would like to point out that transitions may be shoddy if you keep the current format. Some outside editors may be needed. *nudge nudge*