• Member Since 3rd Sep, 2011
  • offline last seen Feb 14th, 2016

Dreagar


E

May 9th 2014,
Three years ago we entered stasis expecting sanctuary in this new galaxy; Three years ago we came close to defeat at the hand of an unparalleled drone army. Three years later we now hope to whatever deity or belief that for once, we can actually go one day without fear of our lives.

-A quote from Col. Everett Young as recorded by Eli Wallace.

Made for people unfamiliar to the Stargate franchise in mind.
Currently on hiatus until I can come up with a good ending.

Chapters (3)
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Comments ( 27 )
MnM

This is quite interesting, and pretty good for your first. I am looking forward to more.

I like it, very interesting.

I would suggest a proof-reading pass. There are a good number of misspellings, missing words, awkward word choices (IMHO), and formatting errors (like starting a new paragraph when you change speakers).

Of other note, and this may just be my ocd, AU stands for Astronomical Unit, not Astral Unit.

Regardless I think this is turning out to be a really good story.

I like it. Maybe a bit longer chapters?

Thanks for the Support :D I'll try to fix as many erros as I can but It's not easy, and good catch on the Astronomical Units!

Wow, I the one thing this website lacks is the ability to edit comments, I feel :derpytongue2: for spelling error wrong.

Also on the longer chapters, I try to pace myself with roughly 1,000 words per paragraph, not too daunting, but still enough for a decent read. Maybe when I'm better at this I'll bump the game to 2 or even 3 thousand words.

Well, school's back on so progress is going to be slower, however this atleast gives me time to figure out the direction of this story :twilightsmile:

Dues to sheer imaginative failure on my part, does anyone have a good idea for the plot? Pm me if you have suggestions, If not I'll just start a new, better thought out story.
Thank'ya kindly :eeyup:

good so far, and as for suggestions try warpping it around a thing like a happy story (which I think with all the grimdark would be nice) and go from there, let it be Destiny's first truly peaceful mission XD

story is awesome

my god 4 months and no new chapters

Sorry for the lack of chapters, It's just that the story lacks direction which is essential if I am to write more. Please do give me any suggestions, Mines5 gave an ok one but sadly it isn't a lot to work on...

However, if people like my writing style/ability, I might be able to write an entirely new story; I do enjoy writing and you guys are rather supportive.

Also if popular request has it, I will release my failure of a chapter. "Fear".

MOOOOOOOOOOOOOOAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAR!!!:flutterrage:

So Luna knows who the Ancients were, created and is aware of everything in the night sky, but doesn't know what a Stargate is? Seems a little suspect to me.

Although the quips about a sapient Stargate were enjoyable

Dreagar,
I like the concept behind this one. If you're searching for directions in which to take the story, I could imagine a number of the crew of Destiny wanting to settle permanently in Equestria. It's the first near-perfectly peaceful and perfectly habitable place they've come across, and already has a lot of infrastructure in place for a moderately comfortable lifestyle. On the other hand, would the Equestrians really want this group of humans taking up residence? How would Rush & co react to those who want to leave Destiny and settle down? I could see this going in a number of directions, as you're clashing two fairly different groups together, one of which is fairly desperate by now and neither of which is prepared for meeting such aliens as these.

tl;dr Some of Destiny's crew will want to settle in Equestria. That'll cause problems enough for both parties.

@emanwe This man! This man right here! Why u so awesome?
Thanks to his capacity for remembering a certain episode in the series, I now can finish this story! Not even the GCSEs will stop me now... prepare for more chapters.
Also in celebration, new chapters shall be at least 2k words long!

"but most of all twilight saw a ring of darkness" - :twilightoops:

"Quickly planting himself on the captains chair" - :pinkiegasp:

"With a nudge from celestia Luna picked herself up" - :trollestia:
"Not 1000 hoofs away" - :facehoof: hooves
"Giving the signal Rainbow Motioned for Fluttershy" - :rainbowhuh:
"Ooh, pretty I wonder if It likes parties!" - :rainbowkiss:
"Running her horn around the object twilight felt almost no magic. " - :moustache:
"Rainbow dash declared proudly" - :rainbowderp:
"I have a mission for you Twilight sparkle" - :scootangel:
Please stop missing so many commas :fluttershyouch:

@iloveportalz0r, wow. I've never been told that thoroughly! I'll have to to another check through my work..., thanks for the heads up tho!

I take it you arn't that avid of an astronomer:ajbemused:

make sure to look up the properties of a red dwarf and not make up numbers.... please .... for all of the space geeks out there.

I was a bit lazy and just copy pasted information from Wikipedia XD, as I've never heard from a professional what the correct numbers are. That and I had to make it dramatic!

If you have more correct data please share as I'm eager to hear some figures, instead of qualifiers! Lastly, if I come off as abrasive, I apologise; It's late here and I can't think straight! :P

I would greatly enjoy the opportunity to work as an editor and revivor of this book, as this is one of my favorite TV series.

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