TF2: Meet the Series

by 2K Chrome

Meet the Pinkie Pie

Pinkie Pie was lazing around on her wheelchair. She was enjoying her extra time off. All of a sudden, an alarm sounded.

“Intruder alert! RED spy is in the base! Protect the briefcase!” a voice yelled.

Pinkie Pie got up and stretched. Time to spy check some teammates. She picked up her flamethrower and said, “Mmmpph mmppph mmp!” It sure was tough to talk through the gas mask she would almost always wear.

Pinkie began to race down the hallway to the room where the briefcase was located. She looked over to see Applejack lying dead on the floor with a stab wound on her back. The spy was close.

Pinkie trotted forward. Ahead of her, she could see a faint outline moving through the air. Pinkie pulled out her flamethrower and started it. The outline soon burst into flames and fell to the ground.

Pinkie entered the room holding the briefcase. Rainbow Dash, Rarity, and Princess Celestia were surrounding the briefcase.

“Tell me, did anyone happen to kill a RED spy on the way here?” Rarity asked.

“Mhmm… hmm mm!” Pinkie said [Yes. Right here!]. She was carrying the RED spy’s body in her hooves. The burnt body hung limp.

“Good job Pinkie!” Rainbow Dash said.

“Mhmm!” Pinkie said through her gas mask [Thanks!].

“Very well. Pinkie, if you would so kindly dispose of the body outside,” Rarity asked politely.

“Mmmph mhmm mph!” Pinkie exclaimed [But it’s so much work! Fine.]. Pinkie dropped the body and began to drag the body.

Pinkie was quickly dragging the Spy on top of their main building. She slowed down as a small light passed by her. She put her gloved hoof out to see a moving red dot. Pinkie looked over to the source of the light.

Pinkie reached into her suit and quickly pulled out her Fire Axe. A bullet hit against it as soon as she placed it in front of her head. Off in the distance she could hear, “Bugger!”

Pinkie dropped the body over the building. She had a sniper to go after.

Pinkie thought back to what she could be doing had a Spy not shown up. She would be going through her pictures of Rarity, her true love. She would remember all the good times the two shared together before the terrible accident.

Pinkie Pie reached the room where the sniper was hiding. She pulled out her Fire Axe and began to chop at the door. The sniper insider the room immediately dropped her weapon and leaned against the opposite wall. Pinkie kicked down the door with full force.

With Fire Axe in hand, Pinkie began to hack away at the Sniper. The sniper screamed in pain, oh how she loved to hear those screams, and the Sniper dropped to the floor. Blood was dripping out of her wounds, but Pinkie paid no heed.

Pinkie trotted downstairs to go back to her base. She passed by a room with a Heavy talking to herself. Wait a second! Pinkie Pie thought to herself.

Pinkie pulled out her flamethrower and lit the Heavy. The Heavy coughed as the smoke from his body began to fill the air.

“Fire, fire! FIRE!” Pinkie just laughed maniacally as she listened to the burning Heavy.

“Help me! AHHHH!!!” The Heavy yelled before finally dropping to the ground.

Pinkie Pie returned to the base. She didn’t expect to finish off the rest of the opposing team today. She tapped the microphone in front of her and pulled off her mask.

“Victory!” She spoke into the microphone. Her voice was echoed throughout her base. She could hear cheers and wild shots go off all around the building.

Above scene is based off of video.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Pinkie Pie opened her closet. She kept her special flamethrowers away from her fellow teammates. They had a good chance of accidentally lighting themselves on fire and burning to death. She took a minute to admire her collection. She decided to take her personal favorite, the Backburner. She wouldn’t be able to send ponies flying in the air as often as she wanted, but she loved to sneak up behind people and listen to them let out a short shriek before crumpling to the ground.

Pinkie took out her other two weapons and placed them in her suit. Time to get the party started.

Pinkie stepped out of the main building. She had to get to the RED base before she was found. Pinkie didn’t really do well out in the open.

Pinkie began to trot over to the RED base. It sure was hot in the suit. But not as hot as she was about to make it for the opposing team. All of a sudden, a muffin landed underneath her and she shot up in the air.

“Mmppph!” Pinkie yelled in shock.

An enemy Soldier continued to fire more muffins at her. Pinkie quickly evaded two of the muffins before deciding to air blast the third. The muffin quickly shot back at the Soldier and hit her head on. The Soldier was damaged, but she was still standing.

The Soldier switched to her shotgun. If Pinkie decided to get close, Pinkie would have to take the blast of a close range shotgun.

After seeing the Soldier switch to a new weapon, Pinkie decided to switch hers as well. Pinkie took out her Flare Gun and fired at the Soldier.

The Soldier managed to get one shot out before being hit with a flaming balloon. The Soldier’s body immediately caught on fire. “Fire! Fire!” the Soldier yelled as she ran around in circles.

Pinkie clutched her side where the shotgun hit. It stung quite a bit, but she had to finish the job. She put away her Flare Gun and took out a mailbox. Anypony not on fire, the Postal Pummeler would act like a regular mail post. But since the Soldier was on fire, it would only take one hit.

Pinkie trotted over to the panicking Soldier. The Soldier was too focused on her burning body to notice Pinkie creep up behind her. Pinkie took one fierce swing at the Soldier and knocked her off her feet instantly. The Soldier lied unmoving on the ground.

Pinkie trotted inside the building to set fire to her next victim. Pinkie searched through the first floor, trying to find an enemy, but had no luck. A metal bat collided with the back of her head. Pinkie’s ears rang and her vision was blurred by the sudden hit. She turned around and turned on her Backburner.

The Scout behind her already retreated a safe distance from the flames and switched to her Scattergun. Pinkie took a couple of shots from the weapon.

“I’m runnin’ circles around you!” the Scout exclaimed.

This isn’t good… if I stay in this situation any longer, I’m toast Pinkie thought. Pinkie ran away from the Scout as fast as she could. She knew that she wouldn’t be able to outrun her, but if she managed to get out of sight for just a few seconds…

Pinkie turned a corner and entered a room. She could hear the fast-paced steps of the Scout closing in. Pinkie switched to her secondary and readied herself. She spent years in Hayoshima practicing this technique. She put away her secondary and yelled out “Hadou!”

“There you are!” the Scout said as she turned the corner.

“Ken!” Pinkie yelled. A fireball burst from her hands and the Scout was sent flying back. Her body was on fire as she hit the opposite wall and fell to the ground. Pinkie took out her mailbox and pretended to play it like a guitar. Her laughs were muffled under her gas mask.

Pinkie fell onto her knees. She was really low on health now. A few more shots and she would be out for good. But there were still at least three more members of the RED team.

Pinkie stood up again with renewed determination. She had to find the weapons room.

Pinkie began to trot around once more, looking into every room she passed. She reached the last room in the hall.

Pinkie peered inside to see the room full of mines and a Demoman sitting at a table drinking from a bottle. Pinkie put a hoof up to her head. If she entered the room to get the Demoman, she would be blown to pieces. Even if she was a few feet away from a mine, her health was so low that it would kill her. Pinkie stood there for a few moments to think up a plan.

Pinkie took out her Backburner and air blasted the nearby mines away. Pinkie stepped back as far as she could and pulled out her Flare Gun. She fired a shot at the unaware Demoman, and he was lit on fire.

“Fire!” the Demoman yelled. Pinkie took a moment to enjoy her victim’s screams of pain. Pinkie then took careful aim and began to blast away the mines scattered on the floor.

The Demoman ran around until the flames finally subsided. He turned towards the doorway to see Pinkie blasting away the last of his precious mines. He switched to his Gemstone Launcher and fired a gemstone at her.

Pinkie switched to her Backburner. She air blasted the flying projectile. The blinking light on the gemstone changed from red to blue and was sent flying back to the Demoman. The Demoman faceclawed before being hit by his own gemstone and exploding.

Pinkie raised her weapon high over her head and let out a hearty muffled laugh. She loved her air blasts. Whether it was gemstones, muffins, or arrows, she loved seeing the surprised looks on her enemies’ faces when they saw their own projectile fly back at them.

Back to the serious issues, Pinkie opened the weapons cabinet. She found the one weapon that would help her health issue. She took out one rather large hammer. She gave a few swings with it and smiled underneath her mask. This was going to be fun.

Pinkie went up to the second floor to find herself in the main room. She immediately took a burst of apple seeds to her stomach and quickly turned away. She hid behind the wall and saw a cluster of apples fly by and hit the wall. She looked through a glass window to see an Engineer laughing hysterically with a wrench ready in hand. Looked like Pinkie would have to find another way into the room.

The Engineer watched Pinkie trot away.

“Medic!” the Engineer yelled. A canary yellow mare in a white lab coat trotted by with the Medigun ready in hand. “You called?” she asked.

“I don’t need to be healed or nothin, but there’s a Pyro roamin’ around and I need ya to git her,” the Engineer said.

“Oh… but I’m not comfortable going around hurting others. I’m a doctor and I want to help ponies,” the Medic said in a soft voice.

“Listen here!” the Engineer said sharply. “There's an enemy here goin’ around killin’ each of our team members! It ain’t hurtin’, it’s doin’ a justice for yer team. Now go on and git that Pyro!”

The Medic shrunk back as the Engineer yelled at her. She slowly pulled out her Syringe Gun and trotted out of the room.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

After ten minutes of searching, Pinkie finally found another entrance into the main room. She trotted down the hall to the entrance before she heard something behind her. She turned around to see a RED Medic holding up a syringe gun. Pinkie gulped. This was the end.

Fluttershy aimed carefully. She needed just one hit and with Pinkie’s low health, the Pyro would be finished. She watched Pinkie stand in place, unmoving. Fluttershy lowered her weapon and sighed. She couldn’t do it. She was a doctor, possibly an insane doctor with no real adherence to medical ethics, but still a doctor.

Fluttershy trotted over next to the Pinkie. “I’m sorry if I frightened you,” Fluttershy said in her Gerpon [German] accent. “I’m a doctor. I can’t just go around hurting ponies.”

Pinkie Pie nodded. “Mmmph mph mmmph mmmm!” Pinki replied [No problem at all, but I’m still going to burn you].

Fluttershy nodded. “I suppose you said ‘thank you.’ And it’s no problem at all.”

Pinkie shrugged. Too bad she had to do this, but she really needed some health. Pinkie started her flamethrower.

“AHHH! Fire!” The Medic yelled. Pinkie changed to her Powerjack and hit the Medic as hard as she could. The Medic fell to the ground in a burning heap. Pinkie could feel the magical powers of her hammer return some of her health.

Pinkie reentered the main room and hid behind a crate. She could hear the beeping of the Engineer’s sentry in search of a new target. Pinkie thought hard to find a way around the sentry. Even with full health, the sentry could blast Pinkie away in a few seconds. Pinkie thought of a bunch of possibilities, but decided to just go for the direct approach.

Pinkie moved from crate to crate until she found herself a few yards from the sentry. She waited until the sentry would have to do a full one-eighty to fire apples at her. Pinkie rushed from her crate.

Pinkie started her flamethrower. She managed to do quite a bit of damage before the sentry turned around and fired apple seeds and apples right at her. Pinkie was sent flying back. The sentry continued to fire apple seeds, while it reloaded another cluster of apples.

Pinkie switched to her Flare Gun and fired a flaming balloon right at the sentry. She did just enough damage to destroy the sentry.

Pinkie sighed in relief. She did it, she beat the RED team. Pinkie raised her flamethrower over her head and cheered.

“Aren’t ya forgettin’ somepony?” a voice said from behind. Pinkie’s eyes widened. Pinkie felt the cold metal of a wrench hit the back of her head. She fell to the floor.

The Engineer laughed and slapped her knee. Pinkie managed to destroy the weapon, but not the one that made the weapon.

Following are other links used:
http://tf2wiki.net/wiki/Pyro
http://tf2wiki.net/wiki/Pyro_taunts

Comments

[IraqLobstah]

Not what i was expecting...

I was pleasantly surprised though, not the usual garble that tf2 fans spurt out.

Cheers
~iraqlobstah

[nightelf37]

I think it's somewhat worthwhile.

[nightelf37]

Check this out. I got inspired into making it thanks to your story.

[exitdoesnotexist]

3240099 A FELLOW BATTLEBLOCK PLAYER/BRONY/TF2 PLAYER
SO MUCH WIIIIN