TF2: Meet the Series

by 2K Chrome

Meet the Ditzy Doo

An enemy Pyro had just finished torching some of her fellow teammates. The Pyro thrusted her weapon in the air and laughed triumphantly. She aimed steadily and fired a muffin. The muffin hit its mark and the Pyro was blasted into pieces. Over on another side of the field, a BLU Demoman was drinking a bottle of rum. Ditzy aimed again and fired. The Demoman proceeded to explode just as the Pyro had.

Ditzy was now two for two. She looked down a hill to see a BLU Heavy doing a taunt. Ditzy smiled. This was getting too easy. She aimed and fired yet again. Pony parts flew through the air one more time.

Ditzy walked over to the remains of the Heavy. “If fighting is sure to result in victory, then you must fight!” Ditzy said. Taunting in the middle of battle. Ditzy shook her head. Shameful.

“Sun Hoofz said that, and I’d say he knows a little more about fighting than you do, pal, because he invented it, and then he perfected it so that no living stallion could best him in the ring of honor!” Ditzy stated.

Ditzy walked away. After a while, Ditzy found herself on the real battlefield. Apples and muffins were flying as the battle raged on.

Ditzy let out a battle cry and banged her helmet with her shovel. She rushed forward to see a Demoman firing gemstones towards her. Ditzy pulled out her shotgun and fired at the oncoming Demoman. The Demoman fell to the ground after a few shots to the chest.

A gemstone blew up close to Ditzy. Her ears rang, but she paid no attention to it. The real battle was still up ahead.

A BLU medic began to fire syringes at her. The needles stung a bit, but Ditzy had trained her body to ignore pain.

“Filly!” Ditzy yelled as she fired a muffin right at the Medic. The Medic immediately burst into pieces.

Ditzy Doo stormed onto the battlefield.

“Go go go!” Her fellow Heavy yelled. Bullets flew past her body and banged off of her helmet.

An enemy sentry was reloading as Ditzy was pushing forward. Ditzy jumped over the sentry and fired a muffin. Ditzy was sent flying upward.

The sentry was destroyed into tiny mechanical pieces. The blast from the muffin shook Ditzy a little. She landed on top of a large pipeline.

In front, Ditzy could see a Heavy and a Pyro protecting the control point. Ditzy readied herself and jumped. She fired on top of the Heavy and Pyro and both were killed instantly.

Ditzy landed on the control point, but no timer was going off for the capture. Ditzy pulled out her shovel and swung it behind her. The BLU spy going in for the backstab was knocked out by the blow.

“Victory!” A mare’s voice said. Ditzy smiled to herself. Another successful mission.

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Ditzy walked into the Recovery room. Rainbow Dash was leaning back on a chair.

“Don’t think the mission is over just yet, young mare!” Ditzy yelled at Rainbow. “We still got another control point to capture!”

Rainbow Dash gave Ditzy a look. “Don’t sweat it Ditzy! The BLU team won’t even see what’s coming…”

Ditzy looked at Rainbow under her helmet. “How’s about I tell you a story? Sun Hoofz used his fight money to buy two of every kind of animal in Equestria.” Ditzy took out two grenades to signify the animals. “And then he herded them onto a boat. And then he beat the hayseed out of every single one!” Ditzy said as she smashed the two grenades together.

Rainbow raised an eyebrow. “And from that day forward any time a bunch of animals are together in one place, it’s called a zoo!” Ditzy yelled.

Rainbow facehoofed. “Ditzy that doesn’t even make sense. And what does this have anything to do with the BLU team?”

Ditzy just scowled at Rainbow and headed towards the weapons cabinet. “Unless it’s a farm!” Ditzy yelled back. Rainbow just shook her head and got ready to go.

Above scene is based on video.

Ditzy Doo looked inside the cabinet. Tons of weapons lay in front of her. She picked out a secondary and melee weapon and searched for a primary. She found the perfect weapon for the situation, her Liberty Launcher. She may only be able to shoot three muffins at a time, instead of four, but her muffins would fly even faster.

“Ready to go?” Rainbow asked. “Well, let’s do this!” Rainbow sped to the opening doors.

“No wait!” Ditzy yelled out. Rainbow Dash suddenly erupted into chunk-size pieces.

Ahead, Ditzy could see a BLU Demoman lift up her body armor to show a smiley face taped onto his stomach and yelled out “KA-BOOM!”

Ditzy scowled. The scout had so much to live for. Ditzy faced the Demoman.

The Demoman looked at Ditzy and laughed. “Go on ya fool! I ain’t afraid of ya!” He said with his Scottish accent.

The Demoman proceeded to shoot a couple of grenades towards Ditzy. Ditzy pointed her Launcher to the ground and fired. Ditzy flew up into the air. The blast from the muffin was reduced because of the Gunboats on her hooves. The grenades exploded underneath her.

Ditzy used her remaining two muffins in the Liberty Launcher and fired. The Demoman tried to run away, but was hit by the blast of the double muffins.

“Welcome to the United States of YOU JUST GOT DOMINATED!” Ditzy cried out.

Ditzy landed back on the ground and walked to the Demoman. “I have personally killed 6,578 stallions in cold blood while looking them in the eye; jumped on 1,336 live grenades; and stuffed fourteen feet of my own intestine back into my stomach. If that doesn't scare you out of your frilly pink leotards, guess what: You are a hayseed and you hate Amareica.” Ditzy spit on the Demoman’s body.

Ditzy marched forward. She saw Princess Celestia firing her weapon and Fluttershy healing any damage she took. All of a sudden, Ditzy saw another version of herself creeping behind the two.
Ditzy’s eyes widened. “Spy!”

Ditzy fired a muffin towards her look-alike. The muffin came too fast for the spy to react and was immediately eliminated. Ditzy looked to where Celestia was shooting to see a sentry being fixed up by an Engineer.

Ditzy yelled out, “Mmmmedic!” Fluttershy stopped her beam from Celestia and pointed her Medigun towards Ditzy. Ditzy felt her energy and strength return and then some more.

Ditzy reloaded her Liberty Launcher and muffin jumped herself forward. She flew too high for the sentry to notice her. Ditzy fired her remaining two shots onto the sentry. The sentry was destroyed and the ensuing blast killed the Engineer.

Ditzy hit the ground with a thud. The entire process brought her back to her normal health. Ditzy mock saluted by making a loser sign with her hoof and said “Leeeft-HUT!”

Ditzy regained her fighting stance. She noticed a red dot moving around and landing on her forehead. She withdrew her Launcher and took out her Half-Zatoichi. She placed it in front of her as she felt a bullet bang against it. Off in the distance she heard, “Bugger!”

Ditzy moved towards the building where the sniper was mostly hiding. As she moved through the hallways she eventually heard something.

“And up to bat is Alex Hoofriguez.” Ditzy peered into a room to see a Scout watching a baseball game.

Ditzy sneaked towards the Scout. She knew the consequences of bringing out the Half-Zatoichi. She wouldn’t be able to sheath it until it had killed someone. Those are the effects of a magic sword. This was the perfect chance.

Ditzy raised her Half-Zatoichi high in the air when the Scout turned around.

“What the…?” the Scout said before bringing out her bat. The Scout brought the bat over his head just in time to stop the swinging blade.

“Thought you could sneak up on me?” the Scout asked, “I’m un-bucking-touchable!”

Ditzy just shook her head. She put her weapon high in the air and threw it. The blade went through the Scout. Ditzy pulled out her weapon. The Half-Zatoichi finally allowed itself to be sheathed.

“You have dishonored this entire unit!” Ditzy said to the Scout lying on the floor.

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Ditzy opened up the enemy’s weapon cabinet. She was running low on ammo and needed to restock. Or find new weapons.

Ditzy changed her melee and looked around for another weapon.

“What’s this!” Ditzy said. She found a futuristic looking launcher.

“A Cow-Mangler 5000?” Ditzy said as she read the label on the side. There were many disadvantages to the weapon, but it had an unlimited amount of ammo. She decided to take it.

Time to finish the job Ditzy thought.

“Mmm hmmm!” Ditzy turned around to see a Pyro on the other side of the room.

Let’s see what this thing can do Ditzy thought. She pulled hard on the trigger and the weapon began to fire up.

The Pyro wasted no time and went after Ditzy with the flamethrower going.

She’s going to get me… Ditzy closed her eyes. The weapon finally loaded up and fired. The Pyro took the blast to the chest and was lifted off the ground and turned black. The Pyro’s body disintegrated and the ashes fell to the floor.

“This is my Equestria! You are not welcome in my Equestria!” Ditzy yelled at the ashes.

She got out of the room and began to search. The sniper is around somewhere. She peered into every hallway. Finally she found the sniper at the end of a hallway.

Ditzy walked closer until the sniper looked up.

“Trapped!” Ditzy said.

“Sorry mate!” the Sniper said, “But I’m afraid you’re the one trapped here.”

Ditzy heard a whirring sound behind her. A BLU Heavy with a Medic was closing in from behind.

She was trapped on both sides. She sighed. “For the greater good of Amareica!” Ditzy yelled out.

Ditzy took out a pick-axe known as the Equalizer. She tossed her Equalizer away and took a grenade off her belt and set it. Ditzy thrusted her hoof in the air and detonated. Ditzy managed to destroy the rest of the BLU team, but at the cost of her own life. Yet Ditzy would not have wanted it any other way.

Following are other Soldier links used:
http://tf2wiki.net/wiki/Soldier
http://tf2wiki.net/wiki/Soldier_taunts

Comments

[G Writes]

We'll never forget you Ditzy Doo since your going to respawn in a few seconds!