brony jts
Joined 9th Oct, 2012 ·
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Mhm, an OC winning against Rainbow Dash, and the description could match your avatar...
That could flash some red lights for many people.
Also the description does anticipate some things in the story I'm not sure how to take yet.
The title is definitely suboptimal.
The writing itself is not bad, but I think I have to withhold any vote until further development.
i was trying to keep the oc being my avatar a secret until later in that chapter and RD losing sets up events later
I honestly could not think of a title when i started this do i stick by that decision
and thanks for the feedback
Look, I'm not going to dislike this, because I haven't read it, and people who dislike without reading are assholes. What I will do is point out that the lack of proper capitalization in the story and chapter titles does not reassure me as to the readability of your story.
2201426 thank you for pointing that out and ill fix it momentarily
2202856 thank you devan
You accidentally the title.
2205255
2205318 *sigh*
In a title you're supposed to capitalize the first letter of every word except for words like: and, or, of, a, etc.
2205336: look at your last comment you didn't say that so i was confused
your comment was "You accidentally the title."
2205343 That's kind of an internet thing. You're new here aren't you? (to the internet, not Fimfiction)
2205376 no im not but your still confusing
2205401 Care to explain? And it's "you're".
2205406 i refer you back to your comment You accidentally the title. when you put that you did not say what you meant and it confused me but once you told me what you meant i fixed the problem so there you go
2205448 Oh yeah, I noticed your correction. My first comment was actually a meme. For context.
2205479 ah now i see that's why i was confused i don't think i have seen that meme before
2205496 It's very old.
2205498 so i read
OH, i love this story (espacially fluttershy is my favorite pony
). I am looking forward to read more.
PS: excuse my bad englisch
nice story bro looking forward reading chapter 2 =D
2208242
2208248
thank you both for reading and
chapter 2 is in the works right now
2208279 what would make it better is... APPLEJACK
:
STILL PRETTY GOOD EVEN WITHOUT AJ
2208936 i plan to have all the mane six in the story at some point
I cant understand why this have so many dislikes?
Ok, not everypony have the same opinion, but this story beginns fantastic and I know that they will get even better
2212677 thank you i don't understand why it has so many dislikes either but as long as some people like it its alright
I'm liking this! More!!
2445496 there will be i swear it
A bit short but I really liked it.
FINALY IT CONTINUES!!
And I have to say
2647301 yeah it is a little short but that don't matter what matters is that as you said it finally continues
I need more!!
2652261 ill do my best to make that happen asap
2655062 ok I'm in prest good chapter
2716621 thanks glad you liked it
a whole year since this started. more?
4021331 hopefully very soon once my coauthor gets back